Page 89 - ThePhoenix1982-83

April 1'001. SCumJlhaw Page -3 Thriller eats at restaurant By Miss Terry Thriller dish a tinny, sour flavor that part of the meal, were trom- can wines. We chose a co- communicate through an La Cuisine Francais is the did not go" well with the cally not mentioned on the mestlc wine described on the elaborate system of hand sig- disappointing new Latin esea/era sauce) arid not fully menu. The waiter told us that menu as "an American etas- nals and animal noises), American restaurant in west- cooked. The waiter explained the cockroaches would prob- . sic," which the waiter deli~· which was carbonated and minster's fashionable East that the oven had broken ably be an addition to every ered to us, still wrapped in a non-alcoholic. Side. While many of the down, and the chef had to meal, at least until the board paper bag. It was strong, but The price - dinner for four dishes are individually excel- cook the appetizers over of health was due to inspect tasty. The Latin American cost $438.57 - was a bit lent, the sum total is not wooden matches. This un-. again. wines were smooth, but still high, particularly considering unified; instead, the meal was' doubtedly accounted for the Stay away from the hambur-· immature. we had to wash our own an amalgam of iII·fitting uneven baking of the- p,:,ta gesa y queso. The meat was For a change, you might try dishes. However, if you're pieces. • raja. . raw and the queso was not the"latin American delight the lookinq for a place with pleny Decor in La Cuisine Fran- The only appetizer that can queso at all - it was a piece waiter called Pepi Cola (or of hot sauce, bullfighters, and cais is authentic Latin Amerl- be recommended is the esrc, 'of yellow palstic. Most of the Lepsi Cofa. The waiter spoke flies, La Cuisine Francats is can. NOL content with the cado, a zesty dish made with fish dishes, too, were under- no English,~ so we had to your place. usual charcoal prints of bull- artichoke hearts, boiled pota- cooked, particularly the pen- fighters, owner Jose Roche- toe~, and a catsup and h~rse- cufa vivo, which flipped and teau has nailed actual pieces ra~lsh sa~ce. The gal/mazo flopped over the plate and of bullfighter onto the wall. mtqht be tried. .but you should finany had to be subdued with These severed limbs and or- bnng a chalnaaw to cut the pepper grinder. gans, explained our waiter, through th.etouqh gamy meat. Of the deserts, all of which were from actual bullfighters, The mal~ dishes wer~ un- were excellent, my favorite gored off by bulls. To give even. W.hlle the enchiladas was the Tinki - a soft yellow even more authenticity, Hoch- Y"ere. quite ~ood,. thol:l9h a cake surrounding a creamy eteau added bullets, rifles, little bit hot (fire extinguishers middle. There ~ also the and cattle prods leftover from were provided with the dish), quipacta, which was so deli- the latest coup attempt. The the _tacos were soggy and cious and satisfying that it authenticity and visual appeal mediocre. In tact, the tacos caused my date to orgasm of the decorations more than were served In a bowl and unexpectedly. One might also makes up for the smells eme- had to be eaten With.a spoon: try the pan - a kind of bread na~~~~w c~~:t be said for fri!re!ar yth~a?s~stJ~Shs~~ath~ with green growth in the mld- die that our waiter assured us the toad. The appetizers delicacy consisting of. cock- was good for medicinal pur- seemed hastily prepared (in roach thoraxe~ and pimento poses. one case, the aluminum foil beans served In a sauce that The wine list was adequate, had not been taken off the tasted mostly of tomatoes. with a long list of domestic pinga/s me/iado, givinQ the The cockroaches, the best wines and a few Latin Ameri- Dizziwitz talks on -and on from page 1 We were speakinq of the speak-to the issue of poverty something else. Oy, what a President of the United States please. - President Reagan. DIZZIWITZ: Okay (Pause) world. DIZZIWITZ: Excuse me, I Hello, how are you? Good. I'm PHOENIX: Tell us, what do don't watch TV that much, I doing fine. Yes, yes, I hear you think of the President? though YOU ALL were talking you got problems. But you DIZZIWITZ: Oh, well. My about the president of our wife and I, we had him and congregation (Pause) Rea think YOU got problems. I could ten you stories...but-Jis-_ his wife over the house for gan is going"'"senile in th;' ten we all got problems, don't dinner just last week. He said, head. He's too old. He should we. I know. You've hit rock "I can't eat this. You got get out before he starts for- bottom, but it could be worse potatoes with butter and getting what year it is. We - you could be dead, right? steak." "So?" I said. "It's not need a younger man who has Of course I'm right. So listen. kosher," he said, "meat and better capabilities of miahan- Take a shower, scrub real milk." So I tell him .I'm sorry, dling the problems in Wash- good, dry off, and get some but we don't keep kosher. So ington. My mother, may she sleep. You'll feel like a new we took them out to a nice rest in peace, once said to person, refreshed. Belleye Editor delicatessen and everything me - me, I speak from experience. denies that he is a' transvestite by demonstrating the length I' was fine. You see, the presi- PHOENIX:Or.-Dizziwitz, we I do this everyday and I'm a of his genitalia. dent's not such a bad guy- PHOENIX: Uh,'Or: Dizziwitz. have a limited amount of time. better person for it. Sa we would 'like you to . PHOENIX" Excuse us, Doc· tor, but what were you just our time is up We would like ""~~~~~~~~~~~;,,,;;,;;;;';;"'~~;;;;''';; Real ad doing? to thank you, Dr. Dizziwitz, for DIZZIWITZ: I was SPEAK- Fake ad ING TO THE ISSUE of pov- giving us your .valuable time. DIZZIWITZ: Sure. The plea- HOUSE erty, like you asked. I though I sure was all mine. Listen, Can You Give OF spoke to the issue very well, you're a fine young man. Why thank you. What's with you. don't you come over for din- This Girl You ask me a question and ner. My .wife's a wonderful then you question my an- cook, and you can meet my A Home? LIQUORS swer? What kind of operation unmarried daughter who's a • is this anyway?! great looker... PHOENIX: Well. it seems Carroll Plaza, Westminster Carriage House Liquo~, National Premium 12 oz. cans 113 W~ Main Street Home $2.28· six pack "at the forks .•" for Heineken $3.85 n oz. bottles six pack 'Orphaned present coupon' Unwea Mothers _',D. Real ad expires 1/8 expires 1/8 848-1314