Page 16 - Scrimshaw1979-80

Page 4 SCRIMSHAW October 4, 1979 Up against the wall Open gallery Mr. X reveals campaign policies Phil La padula Dane B-When does tbe hair get cut? As yOu all know, the 1980 Elks Club and a "born-again" T- Kate-good hitting in Volleyball-way to gortgertesert electIon Is fast approachIng. The shirt with a picture of Billy beloved, that all we's got to do is C'men gang,I don't needa shave,it's a beardl other day, f was contemplating Graham on the front. This pIcture go into Studio 54 and harness all Towhom itmay concern: Thanks for paying the bar bill for Roquefort who might be the best man for shows Graham with his Gideon's that energy from all them Roommatefor Rent-Contact Tom, Rouzer 113 the job, when suddely it occurred Bible In one hand and a Gino's youngins' shakln' their groove JT-Let me say this about that. S.B. to me that nearly everyone today bucket full of money In the other. things and snortln'. Problem K.S.-YouaremyT.A.MCL ./ is either a reformed alcoholic, a Mr. X strolls Into Decker solved. You can dependon it. To the Squad: Warning, GeneKelly rides again. P.S.wbere's Tonto? disco queen, or a "be-n-eqetn" Center on roller skates and ad. Foreign Policy. Brethren, I love L.I. M.L. ChristIan-counterrevolutionary. I vances to the podium. Since he foreign policy Is an area that K.K.-Haveyouheard aboutthe lonesomeloser: have therefore come up wIth the realizes that quottng Bob Dylan must be approached with Eat at the Englar Dining Hall- onemillion flies can't be wrong. perfect candidate. The man- I . will no longer pull the young vote, Christian love and moderation. That's why I'm proposin' a 50 I,\;U;;It;;;im=.=te;;is;;m=Y=li~r'i;;!':'"===7=======~~hai~;S/nan~~~:rul~k,a~~sc~q~~~ ~~O~i~n~r:~ t~e:~~f;~t~~nf~~ICb~ billion dollar increase In the watch out for these ;::;I~-~~~:~';. Chrtstlen-ceunter- ge,~~u:u~~th~~~~lafe::;~e~ce in defense budget. We gotta stop That's commie them devils! JH, AH, NM '12.) Why Is there a large scorch Of course, this man has not yet your shoes. I say, I was down and right, beloved, them Russians "Twenty-one of the Most mark onthe couch? been discovered by the American out with the btues-rnttetton. In- ain't ncthin' but agents of satan, Frequently Asked Parent's Day 13.) Your eyesare bloodshot.00 people. As of today, he remains a ftetlon Is a serious problem, led by the devil-man Breznev, Questions." you have proper lighting when you dark horse. However, it is just a brethren, one we really have to who comes from the same 1.) Why Is there Incenseon the study? metter of time before he emerges get down and boogie with. The purgatory as some people in this dresser? 14.) What is the food like In the to sweep the spring primaries on problem is that there's too much country-Hke Jane Fonda, for instance, there's a devil-woman 2.) What is the strange blue cafeteria? (Stop chewIng on my his way to claim the office which money. The answer is simple; smokeacrossthe hall? handbag!) - is rightfully his. For right now, he take money away from the poor. for ya, and Ralph Nader; all 3.) Whereare your books? 15.) Is that your biology ex- shall be referred to under the. Poor people don't need money; commie, devil-people! But ya 4.) What does the sock on the perimentgrowlngunderthebed? anonymous tltlect The Ayatollah they neve food stamps and know what we gonna do with door mean? 16.) Have you decided what Mr. X. American Express. If worst these heathen, eevn. people? Well 5.) Why Isn't your roommate out you're going to do after college From secret sources, I hav!L_ comes to worst, they should pray I'll tell ya. Wegonna sic the Holy of bedyet? yet? obtained a copy of the car)1paign to the spirit and he'll send them Ghost on 'em! That's what we gonna do. We gonna go right up 6.) Why does your roommate 17.) What do you meanyou think speechwhich the Ayatollah Mr. X money to boogie with, seeing as have two heads? he's the professor of your 7:50 plans to deliver at WMC in April that's all they do anyway. and say, Mr. Ghost·GEET 'EM! 7.) Wheredid you get that lovely class? of 1980. From the information I Unemployment. This problem, Amen! Alleluia! Get down, silverware? 18.) But what have you been have received regarding this brethren, is caused by a slow brethren, we gonna boogie with 8.) What a huge plant! Did you using the moneyfor? mysterious man, the scene at down in production. What we need the Holy Ghost! Amen. Praise the buy it? 19.) When did you last change WMC will probably so something is something new to produce. I Lord and passthe Cruise Missle. 9.) Why Is there a jock strap your sheets? as follows. am therefore promising to bring Finally brethren, I just wanna r.anglngfrom the light fixture? 20.) Who Is the ecrtcr of this The Ayatollah Mr. X drives up back the hula hoop. That's right, say that I'm runnin' this cam- 10.) Why Is your bed sittIng on fabulouscampusnewspaper? to Decker Center in a 1953 Chevv. beloved, we're gonna employ paign to prove that in America, top ofthe dresser? 21.) 00 you have twl!!nty copies? He emerges wearing a hat eight million people mass elections are stili determined by 11.) Don't you get nosebleeds? We're housebreakingthe dog. sporting the virile horns of the producing hula hoops.What's that the bottle and not the built. Cubashubadubaoglacobacon.tongues Dr John tours speaks ~:m:~~'fo:h'~~;:~;:'p~O,09:;a,: Can ya dig it? Rubber man! • , tetth. d,a"y beloved, w,'11 create tongue to be exact; must confess I got I had a nip of scotch betcre about the culture and the ctr. • . a demand! I hearby order, by the here. But don't you worry about Jenifer Ulrey cumstancesunder which tneu- first no solutions in sight. The tensions power of the most high, that any that none, I'm on the wagon now Dr. John, President of Western universities were established. existIng between tne Jews and woman caught in public without a - Keep ya head high, brethren Maryland, spoke before the The comparisons between their Arabs is extremely hurtful to the veil, dark lipstick, and her hula Praise the Lord! Praise the AmerIcan-Israel Society at a institutions and ours show a ~~:bfsa~t!~:,a~:r~~llzl~n:~~~~~:~l~hOO~1is ~ ddamned heathen! vassals! Praise the ten, you can luncheon held In his honor. The marked difference In lifestyles. It even praise the serfs is ve want luncheonwasheld at the Belvedere was pointed out that students are :~~:et::~:~~~n~h~~s l~o~Oa~:~!~;~pr;hee::~g~e crtsts ..What crisis? And in the words of Sheik, dearly Hotel In Baltimore. TheAmertcen- not allowed to mingle or fraternize betweenJudaism and Christianity. I say to you nght here, dearly beloved··FREAK OUT!" Israel Society Is twenty-seven with their professors. Also, the Thls, stated Dr.John, is in part due years old and represents the need majority of the student body has to the fact that they are "closer , to develop cultural relationships been In the country's servIce for culturally and both aided In the CoJvUage Hllme ,CiquDIr6 with Israel. It is neither a political about three years befOl""eentering of development Western the 113W.MajilSt. or religIous organization. Ac- cording to the president of the college. Many students already world." COLD BEER "At the Forks" COLD.BEER had families. While possibly af- I American-Israel Society, Its maIn fording a more mature approachto Expressing his feelings that both functIon Is "to choose,oncea year their education, they can be In· Jewsand Arabs "have a moral and With a fine selection of domestic political right to exist," It was Dr. an outstanding clergy person of terrupted according to the needsof John's opinion that "some other goodwill to sendto Israel. The only the military, leaders would have taken the and imported wines! condition is to go, do, and seewith Or. John was quick to point out causeof peacefurther." Hequoted an open mInd and give a report the racial prejudice towards former Defense Minister Shimon - uponreturn." Arabs. A problem Or. John felt Peres, who said it was "never the Check Our SpeCials He visited the Hebrew "was not uncommon to our own purposes in Judaism to dominate permeate a.~ University and Technion where he society." Arabs find it very dlf- other persons." ! 848-3466 College ID required observed and compared their flculttosurvivelnthe Israel school In conclusion, Or. John's lecture institutions of higher learnIng with system. Dr. John commented that was expressive of his hope that a those of the Western world. the "college has becomea center more peaceful situation could be o Avoiding politIcal and religious for war activity." Tension Is so pursued that would Goldsmith overtones, Or. John limited his great that soldiers station them- through to the colleges.This would Silversmith speech to the problems of Israeli selves outside the schools and allow all students as well as Purveyors of Fine Crafts Colleges. He opened his speech check the possessions of those scholars to achIeve to their fullest with some general observations wi~hing to enter. Thereseemsto be pot~ntlal. 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