Page 14 - TheGoldBug1969-70

II In Praise of Apathy by Tim Smith In every collegiate campaign for class or schcoj ottlce, If you have the right amount of yeast the bread will rise the principle topic and enemy 15 APATHY. The same Is 'perfectly, 11 you putlntoomuchyou'vegot a mess on your true In high school, although LACK OF SCHOOL SPIRIT, hands. (If you leave out the yeast you get Matson, which Is used, three syllable words being In disrepute. Apathy just goes to show you how valuable apathy is to organized is a safe target since apathetic people are too apathetic to religion). By my analogy, apathy Is the dough and enthus- argue. It 15 taken for granted that apathy Is bad (at least tasm Is the leaven, you need both of them to make a good it Is by most people who aren't too apathetic to give loaf of bread. a damn), I am now going to oppose this opinion. For this This applies to both the Individual and to the group as a heresy. I expect to be castigated by the Commlted Minority whole. No one can be enthustastto' about everything. A and Ignored by the ApatheUc Majority. balanced personality will I~terest hlrn se lf In some areas, Apathy Is a mental state, and as such it Is, of course, and Ignore others. The same goes for a group, such as the relative. No one Is completely apathetic, and everybody student body, or the U. S. population. must be partly apathetic. It must be balanced properly Not everyone can take an active part In the SGA, or with a certain degree of entnusrasm. To use a nair-assed Men's Council, or the SLC, or the U ,S. Senate. The same anatogy-vgnmustasm Is like the yeast in a tear ot bread; SGA leaders who were loudly decrying student apathy last spring would be horrified If eight or nine hundred people If the whole student showed up for the next SGA meeting. Friendship by Membership body showed up, the SGA would never get anything done. "That's not what we mean!" they shout. "I know, I by John L. Bayles know," I reply. What our campus leaders have been say- ing is that there Is too much apathy. They are probably Although fraternities are considered the main social attractions at Western Maryland College, they fail to show correct in this. My point, is that this analysis is too one- more thanpa1dtrlendshlpand vain loyalty. To show friend- sided. The people who say this are the ones who are In- the students who ship by constant loyalty and devotion to each other remains- terested In school affairs. They regard as being apathetic. don't give a damn about school affairs good; but, I fail to see how two hundr-ed" underweared men, In reality of course, each of these students has his own twenty years and older, shouting, "Girls .suck;" in front fieldS of interest in which he is not apathetic. If he Is a of a women's dorm in the middle of the night might show CoU's fan, he may consider the class officer, who doesn't loyalty, unless the cause happens to be making complete asses out of themselves, On the other handfratern1Ues do care about football, apathetic. The reverse may be true. give some shy or Introverted boys a newer, tuller ap- Apathy is a wonderful thing. It ensures that In any area really Interested only those who are proach to life; however, to some, e stahll shtng the name of of endeavor, It guarantees that if an issue arouses will the participate. "Hell Raiser" and being known as a great beer drinker action of the lethargic majority, it will be an important just doesn't appeal to the task of maturity. It appears anyone who tries to uphold his beliefs will be labeled fanaUc; it seems thosewho strive to show respect to women become known as moralistic; and It looks as if one doesn't care to drink earns the brand at "Outsider." But if establishing a religious posItion in llfe labels one fanatic, ifnotwlnnlnga girl's beart just tn get in her pants, brands one as moralistic, and if trying to build a healthy body by not drinking gives one the title "Outsider" then call me frantic, brand me moralistic, and give me the title "Outsider;" These "frats" harp constantly onthe Idea of this "New Morality" In order to breakaway from social customs and Ufe-Iong teachings. But at the same time they have estab- llshed their own social system hereoncampus,which ex- pects a strict knitting of fraternity customs and fraternity This is-the story of the reproducUve pencils. It's about behavior. This then becomes the social system. Therefore, penclls (Reproductive). It all started two years ago when to truly exist honestly in the "New Morality," one must a friend and I went Into the audio-visual center. And there go against these established customs and behaviors set ••. thereon the table lay, In blue and white, a 6 1/2 Inch down by fraternities. One would think that to have any long pencil marked "reproductive pencil". freedom on campus from faculty, parents, and authority -And we'd never heard of a reproductive pencil before the fraternity route would be best; but, one would flnd so with tears in our eyes we walked up to the visual as- soon enough he was required to give a good deal of money sistant. Andafter15minuteswearrivedatthe truth of the and a great deal of Ume to his "freedom." In lieu of frat- matter and he said, "Kid, Reproductive pencils are those ernity social order then, the only route for "Doing your that reproduce Images when marked on a slide and pro- - own thing" lies in being an Independent. jected on the wall. Now Kid, get outahere." At notlmewill any organization be completely bad. How- Not believing the entire story, we picked up two pen- ever, until some of the bugs: expecttng drtnking, encourag- cils on the way out, had a Barney Rice dinner that could ing vain lust, and discouraging religious development, are be beat, and didn't look at the two pencils until the next taken out of "frats" and they make room for those who week when the two were three. In another week the small "have it" but don't feel they need to show it, fraternities feeble looking child was nearly matured. Already, one will be at loss. And In the same tone, what group should be could see that It was reaching sexual potency with a fully able to ask a non-drtnker topayror liquor or vainly relate developed point and a developing eraser. Realizing that a secret relationwltha woman, tn oruer to boost his small, the chUd-pencil was too young for reproduction; we re- weak, and thin ego? Basically then, fraternities should give moved 11 from the others untu the protection of the eraser themselves a good look from the Inside In order to live up was fully developed. to the standards they try to present on the outside. But by this time the penclls were getting out of hand twice more. Seeing that we would soon A ladle jolt: having reproduced problem, we tried various methods of have a population stopping the production. We tried dipping the point In You pays your money and takes your chances rubber glue which sometimes broke, applying butter to the paper which made the pencils sltip but didn't stop the by Sue Smithers onslaught, and even performed some Leadendectamles "Please, sir, I want some more." personally cleared the counter, putting one dIsh of salad which completely sterilized the pencils which made It Perhaps English majors, ltterary buffs, or just plain out at a time as the hungry students thronged through the possible for population control. Dickens lovers will remember this woeful plea for more dinner line. So be thankful for small bjasstngs, Barney Now having performed these experiments, we discov- gruel from a hungry little lad who was none other than doesn't beat students with a soup ladle. ered that by cross-mating we could create pencils that Oliver Twist. Had the master been more crafty he could But back to the crux of the matter--why?--when one Is would not reproduce. Concluding that this was the natural have countered Oliver's untimely request with a cagey paying some $1350 a semester Is he allowed only one evolution of all pencils we searched brains (and picked reply: ·'Mol.'! what?" Instead of using mental ag1l1tY,Mr. stljcky bun, or one doughnut or one anything per meal? up the garbage In the snow) and found a use for our dis- Bumble preferred brute force and proceeded to beat Oliver And to add Insult to Injury he doesnet even get to lick the covery. OYer the head with a soap ladle. Of course Ollver could beater-s! And the only reason: I'm telling you this story Is that have been more urbane and said, "Garcon, more gruel, Only one sticky bun and yet two servings of fish on Frl- you may know somebody In a situation to help or you may s'U yous pIaU" and saved himself from a beating. I ~:y;yi::: such a holler-than-thou menu? My sweet tooth be in the situation and if you're In a situation like that, One observes this tragic episode with a proper utarary there's only one thing you've got to do. Write a letter detachment. However OUver's culinary experience is not from wherever you are and say "Secretary of Defense, tar removed from our own whimsical one, so let's make a With all due respect, one really shouldn't complain for may I please have a pencil to remember you by." He'll comparison or simple substitution: Barney's cuisine keeps body and soul together or at best be real generous and send you one. Andil two people do it, "Please, Barney, may I have another sticky bun?" an uneasy truce. _,Alter all Barney is the man who 1) has he can't give to one without the other, so he'll send two. "Please, Barney, may 1 have another doughnut?" taken the shrimp' out of shrimp creole, 2) given veal an And can you imaging 10,000 people a day asktng for pen- "Please, Barney, I want more." inpenetrable armour of fat (Inpenetrable to forks, knives cils, he'll think Its a movement to stop the war by talting Of course the questions are purely hypothe~ical but the but maybe not an electric drlll, 3) invented a moisture- all the Instruments that sign orders to burn women and situation Is right out ot Oliver Twist and does exist. Of proof cake and last but not least, turned bread Into stone, kids houses after destroying the fathers.Andthat'swhat 'course Barney would never dream of hitting a student over Man does not live by bread alone Barney-- It is--The BrIng the Pencils and the Boys Back Home the head with a soup ladle. He is definitely more crafty "Please, Barney, I want two choices atmeal-Umes-- Movem~nt, and all you have to do to join is send the letter and subtle, for example one evening when too many guys especially on Friday, and above all MORE STICKY to the Department of Defense and support the O~ I'l'\ were taldng too many dishes of tuna-fish salad, Barney BUNSIll!!l" tober 15 Vietnam MoratoriUm with conviction. 'CP'