Page 44 - TheGoldBug1968-69

PAGE 4 THE GOLD BUG NOVEMBER 22, 1968 The Universal Occupation The Smoke-Filled Rooms Gossiping Anybody Else Want a Cigar? by Lamsah by John Bennett Gossip is a universal occupation. she is suggestinglohimthathehas This is one of thosearticlesthat tailed-~!o outline the procedure by it would have been fun to talk If organized and recognized it re~ bad breath.Therefore,itisaFreu- is boring as hell,andreal1}'inter· which the governor is selected, about SargeantShriver'squaUfica_ semble s an tntetttgence network. dian slip when she used Ihe word est nobody unless you happen 1.0 he which therefore leaves the decis- tIons and aspirations. But poor Mr. Some newspapers have what they "wolf" inslead of "dragon." a political science major--which ions on procedures and details to Shriver, who Is now Ambassador to call a "gossip column." One thing As gossip is a form of expre s- is basically a nobody anyway at be decided by the various state of- France, didn't get registered as a that gossip. intelligence networks sioott ts also an art, It ts not only Western Marvtaed-vao I warn you ficials, So for example, Attorney Maryland voter Intlme because the and '·gOSSipcolumr;s'·haveincom~ refined (in contrast to more ord- that I'OUbetter- qufckly turn to the General Francis Burch has been mails were tooslow--hlsabsentee mon is that each Is a rorm or com- inary communications like talking, hack·of the GOLD Bl;G and read asked to set down some guidelines ballot was one day late; Maybe munication. But gosstp Is uncrgan- orating or shouting)but also unique the sportssection,whichisallmost for this process of selecting anew that's because his good friend Ized, unlike the other two types. by itself. The most unique is by people read anyway. Now that I've governor, Mr , Burch has promts- Larry O'Brien is no longer Post- The people employed in the in- forming one's hands in a funnel gotten a fell' gripes sneaked into edto set up standards thatwillal- master General. tetltgence networks are called form at one's mouth with the op- what is supposed to he a politiral 10\>,'this process to unfold fairly By the way, it's not too late to get spies. Their collection of gossip posite side at ali stener+s ear i T'his commentary, 1 will indeed give and squarely. Mr. Burch Is a can- into this race If anybody Is lnter-est , is called intel!igence reports. But, they convtncec rne wmtesure max- forth my witted woros orwrseom-, didate for governor. That makes eo. Most college students are theo- unfortunately. because of a lack of imum impact of the sound waves in which doesn't make much sense, rettcajty too yo\,ngtoholdthe_post, professionalslm, one who is pre- the ear drum. The other extreme but it's beautiful atuterauon. Mr. Marvtu Mande l uas proents , hut don't let that wcrcy you, for the occupied with gossiping is labeled is to place one's hands in the like IknO\\,therearestillalotofpeo- ed. asSpeaker of the House of Dele- rules are being made up as the a busybody. Like the reliable manner but this time the intended pie who can't accept it, but the ill- gates, to decide all rules and pro- gamejs played. There's no reason (sometimes unreliable' or "us- listener is at adistance,thusforc- ustrtous governor of Mar-yland, cedures used in the selection of why we can't make up a few more. ually" rel!able) intelligencere- ing the speakertoshout.Somepeo- who, by the way, is not George P. governor in the House honestly amt ports, ~9ssip too r:'ay be reliable pie might think that since this is Mahoney, has really and truly been fairly. Mr. Mandel is a candidate Information Needed (somettrfies unreliable or "us- shouting, tt ts theretore not gcsstp- elected to the position of number for governor'. Mr. wuuum James ually" unreliable) and it is called ing. But this is notalwayslhe case. one lackey: thnt is to sny, theYice has promised to brin~ nt.s know- Cafeteria Poll rumors. Modarn technnlcg y has solved this President-elect of the united Sta- ledge of fair practices :llld honest The intelligence report is based problem. They now use telephone s , les. Debating the relative merits procedures. gained as President of on facts and datum, gathered by the thus preserving the maximum im- of Canada or Austr atia as the best the senate, into this selection pro- Thl.' GOLD BllG is sending out spy for definite consurnption by tha pact of the sound waves on the ear place to move to is not within the cess. Mr. James is also a C:lndi- ouesuonatres to students at col- chief spv.commuted secretly and drum. The American Indians at one Scope of this article, nor am I in- date for governor. leges in j'11e,~ri-s~ate are~, of ~~r~- labelled "top secret." But gossip time used smoke signals. Air pol- terested in discussing the possi- Sen'ltur H:lrry llllghes has an- land, Pennsylvania and \lrglma III too has the element of secrecy. It lution n()W"has somewhat hindered uiJitiesofhaving Mr. Nixon livein nounced th:lt he fan>!'s a I'uhlic an effurt to get some Information is secretly committed in an unob- this method. The introduct,ion of' a bullet proof. bom h proof cage forulll wherehy this electionl'anhe ahout tl"tedinil{g:facilihesandpro- vlous "discussion." (e.g. over the modern tempo like the cha-cha~cha. for the next four years. Whatl am exposed tothefreshairamlthepeo- ceriures at other colleges. Th\_~is dining table, at the Grill or between the rumba, and the fox-trot might interested in (anrl}'Oll're not--I can pie gi\'elladwllcetoheal'eachean- a completely ohjective survey (a class periods, but must be distin· have caused some distortions on tell) is the c1iscussion alllongthose ili{]ate. IloestlliS re[]llest stem [rolll new hrealdhrough for the GOLD gulshed from enforced circum- messages sent by theAfricantOTJI- loyal and hard-worldu(:, top Dl.'mo_ Sen:;ltor llu(:'hes' sensp of puhlie: BlIG') and will include the follow- stances like in the library. where toms. However, it is not really the crats of Maryland whohopetOSlIr- ri~ht·.' No, Senator Hughes is also in(:'Cjut',stions: you have to speak in a low voice, methods, ways and modes of ex- ceed George, no, I mean Siliro T. a candidate for (:,overnor and he thus givlngtheimpressionwothers pression, and the how and where Agnew, as the next governor of realizes th:lt he has no chauce of Total enrollment of school ·that rOll are gossiping:) and though performed that distinguishes gos- Maryland. defelltin(:, /Ill'. M:lndel :It tI,is tiwe T}'IJI~of eating facility-· cafeteria unintended for general consump- sip from honest and goo!lfaithdis~ Budding political scientists. rise under the present situation. l.'rall- UJ'dinill~ hall tion, yet it tends to spread; and. cusslons (talking, shouting, whis- out of the woodwork and stlulr tllis cis X. Gal1a~her has heen pl'aist~d Total amount paill for fuod per mind you, in astronomical progres- pering. and chH-chat) hut'actually situation, for this time of stuoke- II\' /lfavor Il'Alesantlruasanhonest stUdent per year slon. Furthermore it has a snow- the content of the gOSSip, filled, hack room conference~ can and lllll'ig:hl citizen, J)of!sthis'lIlean balling effect--wUh emphasis upon How else can one be more effec- not he equalled Ity any~hill(:'shce that Mayor ll'Ales fro!!! their sidl.' for Is thert' II meal ticket system? mars are distorted as a result of proportion to the nature of gossip. cause, you must ulJ(lerstand,-the this offi.~. Does this IlIl.'aUthat (llaying for meals separately) this process. Forexample,asecond To do otherwise, sa~' if you ex- proposed constitution would have the)' beJie\'e that ttl!> Delllocrats hoy, who later learn about this "bad pressed puhllcally such opiniolls, taken away their righta,ulfreedolll ha"e the IJest 'Illalifiet! men for tile Prices of meals for guests wolf" story, comments tothe actual remarks or critiCism, say in the to control theIr g-orermnellt. Honest ju!)'.' No, it means that nu HI.'I)uh- tkon Any other pertinent Informa- guy who trIed to kiss girl A on their dining hall, the response will he to God, this is the higgest reason lic:m has two whoOI)S in hell of a first date, I, Afred E. Neuman, you surely limited--for almost alJ of given for the defeat of the prOIJOsed chance to IJe p.lected. But the Re- We are especially interested really area man, daring, etc .••keep us then are concentrating on our constitution. publicans are guing to stick toget- in surveying colleges which are it up and don't give up." Thusgossip food; or maybe you wili get a had So anyway, Maryland has no Lt. her and vote for one C