Page 20 - TheGoldBug1936-37

PAGE FOUR The Old Mug, Western Maeylend College, Westmi.nstel", Md. EARL, WE LOVE YOU (Cent. Ironi pnge 2, Col. -1) "workaea of the world, arise". This I as a handkerchief to his nose. The carrion call hack-issued from the Roses are red, violets are blue With the close of half the season The Russian Reds, an all-girls team way up-hill waa slow so he started par-ched lips of Comrade Oyesycuar- Soviets in Russia know we love you, the time bas come to select the A11- from the inlands of Siberie, will be running. This was one significant eski died a martyr to the cause Know we love you, Earl Communist teams for the half. 'I'hia the next opponents of the Freshman factor in his life for he is etill running of the teeming masses and deserves Know we love you, is done twice a season, between the team, meeting the boys coached by today Stablov knew his difficulties. to rest along with the other heroes of Soviets in Russia know we love you. halves of each game, and the results Bullsky Drapemnovich next Saturday IIe had to face them and he did. When the Revolution in n perpetual vacuum, are posted on scoreboards next to evening in the Girls' Lounge. the lad had reached the age of 18 he symbolic of their inestimable contri- II cigarette ads providing neither team The Communists, coached by Jean stopped his wearv climb up-hill to get butions to the efforts to release mil- All other candidates say they're true has scored. "Tiger Har-low, have been undefeated a drink of water. But still greater lions of slaves of the capitalists. blue, As usual Lecland Wheat, the great for two seasons and are considered by disappointment-c-the water was there, OU1'gallant comrade died as a re- But you are Red, Earl, and so we love sports commentator whose daily col- leading authorities in the Soviet as but there was no fail' maiden to ask sult of an intellectual strike. Wonld you, umns in loyal Comuiunlst newspapers the potential candidate to represent him where he had spent the previous this hero allow one brain cell of his So, we love yon, Earl, all o.....er the country are arousing com- the West (that is, Europe) in the night. Such is the bitterness of life. merumouui cerebrum to function while So we love you, ments of appreciation, will select his Vodka Bowl game to be played Few At the age of 20 the youth again tired tyranny ground its iron heel into the Soviets in Russia we love you. All-Communist. team. This is the team Jeers Day in Planders Field. of his climb so he paused one day to esophagus of the workers? No. no, III that is regarded as official. Soviets Are Favored rest on a public park. 'Phis was his a thousand times know! He, who In the P. W. A. we see nothing good, lucky day for a star fell out of heaven coined that phrase giving such great Who wants to work so to have food 1 Others Make Choice The invading Soviets will be heavy right into his lap. She was not a mere insight into the mass psychosis: ''You You'll give us our food, Earl (take the word literally, please) fa- star. She was a meteor. So on this can fool some of the people some of You'll give us our food, At the same time the Dtssocfated vorites over the Baby Enol'S. The eventful day our comrade resolved to the time. and you can fool some of Soviets ill America will give us our Press, the Liberty League of Amer- Frosh have suffered two defeats so take the bitter with the sweet. the people some of the time, but you food. ica, the American Pedemticn of La- far, losing by a top-heavy score to The inspiration of Stablov was bet- can't fool some of the people some of IV bor, and Professor Makosky will also the Vassar Freshmen, and also suffer- ter known in Rushing circles as thc the time" was rlestined to perish no- Browder our candidate we sing to select their All-Communist teams. ing from a tongue lashing by Coach lady in Red. Thus Stablov's interest bly (Ed. note: We SUPPO!;Cone can thee, However, none of these contains the Draperanovich. in the Red party. Red was his thought still perish nobly in a communist We want the Soviets at W. 1\1. C. same weight 8S does Wheat's. Just Ceremonies that take place between scheme, and political scheme. So our state) in a demonstration PQIO' epater At W. M. C., Enrl wait until you see his line. (That is the halves include hoisting tho Soyiet friend started scheming his wily to ie bourgeoisie. AtW. M. C. the football line, not the bull he fing on the goal post in center field glory. At the age of 25 the colorful Diverse Beliefs Held We want the Soviets at W. M. C. throws out.) to signify thnt the girls are World life of the handsome Stablov was If you believe in him, there is a In the past the American Pedern- Champions in their respective sport. published all over the United States good; believe not, and none exists. tion of Laber, sponsor of many Com- Line-ups Given for he had painted the country Red. What we believe in exists, the square VOTE FOR BROWDER munist trends, has most nearly se- Coach Drnperanuvich has not sub- Since then, the author tells us, Com- or the hypotenuse equals pi to the exth (Tune of Let'Yourself Go) lected the 15ame teanls as has Lee- mitted his lineup to censure yet, but rade Stablov had been constantly in power. The final rating is not all Come, let's take a stand, land Wheat. Other selectors who the Reds' lineup is already picked. the Red. uverage of the marks given 01" the Let our comrades see our hand, have not fared so well by comparison Starting off will be: So ROSfJ the Red leaves Comrade factors listed. A failure in anyone Hail Browder with the hand, bave accused the Federation of crib- LE--Eloise (Hex-an-wheels) Chipman Bl'owder standing upon the peak of may mean a failure in the work. Let's vote Red. bing, threatening, and sqbsidizillg LT-Kay (Clam) Soudel' 11is success viewing below him the By the nature of tho l'esult& we de- Let's vote Red-come on and let's Wheat. Wheat denies the accusation. LG-i\1ary Lou (Pithecunthropu!;) vote Red, :~:s ~~:wq~!st~~~o~ol":t~~! ~::;~!I ~~.e't:: 7,~:~s:~~:~i:~geo;f t~~ee~~:~~: We've got ourselves tied UI}with Selections Listed Rockwell relief, C ~Meta Grace (Frosty) Nock ;1; ~:~c:;dto\\:~~lttba~!~~l~t;n c:~~::~~ I :d~:\;n~: ~~!~:::~~~vhi:~rlll~~~\~~ And Roosevelt's works are not our Without further ado we present the RG~Betty (Gun Moll) Helm ance with gravity, to the fTiendS" of accomplished by these personalities belief All ComnlUnist team as selected by RT-Jean (Tiger) Harlow his stable days 01' will the jackasses and things to produce the l'esults, by So come let's use OUT heads, Leeland Wheat. RE--Peggy (Stark) Young tllat he has llleet on the up-hill climb the extent of OU1'power and willing- Give the government to the Reds, LE-i~!~ia Price, Bolshevik College, QB-(Qua)r~~fi~~ain)-PetUllia (Big push him into the glorious valley? ness to regulate and control or pre- Let's sleep in the capitalists' beds, dict where we cannot contl'ol all the Votefo)" Browder. LH-Butch (Wild Woman) Robbin:; behavior of these personalities and LT--Sally Price, Bolshevik College, RR-Kay (Watch Her) Sizzell SENIOR DORMITORY thingg...........bythese intangibles and who- A FINE CAMPAIGN Russia FB--Dol'is (PowCJ."house) O'Donnell IS TOTAL WASHOUT the-heck-cares-anyways, we swore to you that man s.hall not live by bread A fine campaign with no ballots, LG-i~~~iaPrice, Bolshevik College, ca~~~et~~~e:n~:e b:~ p:~b~t~~)t:: ~:~ (Cont. hom page 1, Col 3) alone. A fine campaign with empty wallets, game. Each of the gU'ls wears a gar- level. Thence it is but a good swish Oh yml great big handsome man, For we're a$ hanI to settle'as the war C~Sally P)'ice, Bolshevik College, tel' autographed by the late IIIaxim with a broo~ to the UU'eshold of the cooed the commU1list community COlll- debts, Russia I Gorky as u token of her ability to reactionary. Under-door water is mentator, won't you vote for my But we plan to see that there will be I keep up the good work (that is her 111llChlike a wet blanket for curbing teensy-weensy preparation 1 As a no more debts. RG-Sally Price, Bolshevik Coilege, sLocking). reaction, but although he had the plot ridden character, the renaissance A fine crlmpaign with no gin fiz:;r.es, Russia These girls bring their own Nazi blankety effect, the rebel (thoug}) not learning comprehended the doctrine of A fine campaign my fTan' thi!! is, RT~Sally Price, Bolshevik College, band and play their own pep songs his room) is still undestructed. Despite the microeosm; the fOlIT humors~ So if you want to 00 a good Commu- Russia such us "Petunia Old Gray Bonnet", the fact that the bomber has not suc- blood, phlegm, bile and black bilo; nista "Noek, Nock," "Helm I Doing?", and ceeded in dampening the spirit of the and the five wits: common wits, half- Stand on your soap-bol:: to enjoy the RE-Sally Pl"ice, Bolshevik College, "On Grnnd Old Browder Team." reactionuTY, he bas spirited the damp- wit, quarter-wit, nit-wit, and out-wit. vista Russia ening, which in effect is much the And you know, my tooth being full And Cheer our Browder on! QB-Leon Tl'Otsky, U. S. S. R. same thing if not at all. And the of the cosmological metampsychosis 11 ex-officio c;mpaign will keep up after election. of the oontological phthisic having a A fi11ecampaign with no llloney, JOHN EVERHART Be that a!; it may, and all to the direct bearing on the epistemological A fine campaign that's not funny, LH~Leo Tolstoy, Communist College THE COLLEGE BARBE~ contrary notwithstanding, t.he Bl'OW- concertum of miscegenation ofaxiol- It is indeed more serious than you RH~Earl Browder, Tene Haute AND BOBBER cierites of 1- Hall, strong in mind ogy, we mnst reflnte. think (Ind.) prison AT THE FORKS and stl'ong of body, will not go down And now deat· readers, in order to When college boys namo milk as their to detent. Traditionally, no senio)" in end upon a moro11istic monotone: favorite drink. FB-Puffy FOl"thman, Bolshevik the dorm gets back one cent of room "Who was that lady 1 saw you with _.\.fine campaign with no misses, College, Russia deposit, and the pseudo-seniors a)"e last night? That wa!; no lad~', that With no hot dates and no kiss.es, seeing to it thnt the senile seniors go was my wife." FOI"lassies jU!;t can't understand the Captain~AllY one of the Four Horse- J. D. KATZ through with. it, the radicals in this And so dere, kind, gentle readers, platforms men backfield QUALITY ense turning out to be merely trn- we mercifully drnw the curtain which, They're interested in not having fat Best Bet-Anyone of the Seven SHOE REPAIRING ditionalfsts. we must confess, we have been hiding forms Mules line Special Rates to Snldents SIC TRANSIT GLORIA MUNDI. behind nll the time. And Browder is their man! III A fine campaign with some one to follow, FOR •.. A fine campaign with speeches to H.E.REESE ATHLETES FOOT And if you think we're not the best TAILOR swallow, politicians Wear a CLEANING Use Sept - Gene We'll 'prove to you that Browder's Yellow PRESSING men are magicians. Guaranteed to help or money refunded. Sold at A fine campaign with no more rights, Chrysanthemum REPAIRING MACKENZIE'S DRUG STORE A fine campaign with no fist fights, to the Game 94 East Main Street Next to State Theatre And so, friends, come jump up on SUITS MADE TO OUl'red band-wagon WESTMINSTER, MD. For surely old capitalism is saggin' I ® MEASURE Come cheer our B)'owdel' on! See our Representative SING-SING "Reds" Bender "Always An Appealing Menu" Sing, sing, sing, sing, 24 Owings Hall WESTERN MARYLAND Evel"ybody starts to sing Browder, Browder BEARD'S RESTAURANT Treat this country to a fling. ® Coffee Shop louder Louder, John W. Beard, Proprietor When election comes around ~'MUMS" $2 TO $4 AND RESTAURANT Everybody goes to town. PER DOZEN • You note, 1 note Catering To Communist is the way to vote. SODA Ri, i, 0, 0, SANDWICHES PRIVATE PARTIES BANQUETS - CARD PARTIES Sell your vote and away you go. LUNCH If you really know YOUl'stuff Stewart N. Dutterer You'll vote for brains and not for • DINNERS 17-19 East Main Street PRIVATE DINING ROOMS bluff. 110 Pennsylvania Ave. Phone 427 SECOND FLOOR Sing, sing, sing, sing, J. F. MOORE, Managcr Everybody starts to sing Phone 350 "Good Food-And How 1" BrowdeJ.·, Browder BILLIARDS AND BOWLING IN REAR Louder, louder Never Closed A commissar and not a king!