Page 19 - TheGoldBug1936-37

The Old Mug, Welitern Maryland College, Westminliter. Md. PAGE THREE HADDOCK ARRIVES 1938 Schedule Cards ,WARMAN AND HIfLER COMMUNt~T tHAMPION his father was the unfortunate Nich- dy- olas II, last Czar of the Runemoff AT TRAINING CAMP University Of Moscow VIE FOR NY A POST TO GRIP MACARONI nasty who perished beat Pitt, failure of heart when Duquesne Local Aggregation To Meet Co- Macaroni naa a lineage and pedi- Heavyweight Chump Brings Waiter American Candidate Confident of Russian Gandhi Will Match Gnmts gree equally as great, He can trace Champions of C. C. S, R. Winchell With Him Trimming Dee Fueher With Mussolini's Kin his ancestry back to the Oaeeers. Here Gimme is a direct descendant of Ju- Confident that he will be able to The election of officers of the Ath- Ivan 1'otakeitoff, famous Russian lius Caesar who threw Pompey, and handle his opponent easily, Jim Had- Dnme Rumor, that wicked old hag letic Association (Nazi Division) of wrestler, has recently landed on these Augustus, who retired undefeated. clock, heavyweight champion of the who is still a member of the class of the EPWOl'th League will be held next shores and is willing to book matches His father is .I\Iussolini, called by world, arrived here today preparatory '41, has it that the 1938 or 1939 foot- Saturday morning at ten o'clock in with any potential grapplers of abili- many historians the greatest seizer to getting off the train, Haddock is ball schedule will include the Univer- the summer pavilion. ty in the community, Nazis preferred. cr them all. in training for his bout with Moe sity of Moscow, co-holders of the Retiring ofIicillls have announced Ivan, sporting a beard which is so The outcome of this battle is doubt- (St.) Louise, negro heavyweight from championship of the Communist, that the location was so chosen be- long that he Weal'S it for a shirt, ar- ful, but if the Russian is successful Detroit, Communist, and Socialist League of rived here yesterday and announced in winning- the combat, Macaroni will Russia. cause the lowness of the temperature be sure to lose. Haddock will set up his training' will be sufficient to cool off any radical that he has already been signed to campaign at Frtzzeftburg, but the fight No attempt was made to schedule agitators who might seek to stir up meet his, first foe. Ivan's beard is will be held at Onion Ridge, a spot on the ether co-holder of the C. C. & S. the meeting, black, and he is black, so much so that because the road ten miles from Westminster, championship from exile, he has not yet A strong move will be made to 're- he has often been booked us Mahatma WHAT YOU SHOULD returned In the champion's party were his elect Adolf Hitler to the presidency, Gandhi in disguise. Gandhi haa put spurt-ing partner, Rudy Vallee, the The Russians wi!! bring- to America Hitlur, who has held the presidency OIl weight since America saw him last KNOW ABOUT boxer, lno the Fads, the female ali- one of the most colorful teams of re- since he has been in office, has de- and now scnles a mere 100 pounds, biographer who accounts Ior nil his vent years. Arrayed in red flannel clared that if he is reelected, Amari- Totakeitoff's first battle will be FACE PIMPLES losses to fourth-rate heavy weights, underwear and wearing moecastona can athletes need no longer salute him agninst Gimme Macaroni, noted ital- and Walter WinchelL the man who taken from Japan in the Mnnchukuo when passing by his reviewing stand. ian grappler, who won the heavy- gives the bride away, dispute, the visitors will create a sen- weight title of Italy by throwing' Sully The Amer-ican candidate, a compar- While ecme interest centered on the :~!iO~lel;.heZT:~l~: I~~t:o p~~~:a~hi:~ ative unknown outside of Levine Hall, Price, Macaroni will be II stern teet because B. Warman, be Johannes ~:~:~:dl~~st l\~isstheF~:~~~ ~:~d:~l;~ please 110te,) will pmhahly radical of the community for the Russian ollly cevtnr. the latter is used to enting the leading blinde sexauon. Haddock has already ,To facilitate distinguishing the var- ,vho stands 011 the platform of "War- Both wrestlers claim descent from announced that if he defeats Louise, 10US reds who pl~y on ~he first string man Will Win. Why Worry?" noted personages of history, The he will many [no because as she is c~evell, the. ~uss1ans will wear SW.ilS- Russian c1nims that he is a direct do- I really Mrs, Facts, she should be his I bka~ on thell' backs, ellch man haVing The meeting is being held 011Satur- day morning to prevent any filibus- ~:I~:S~~;: ;!l't p~~el'T;~:~y G~~,~~ \~::~ I ~O:~I tering on the part of loyal Nazis who Wi~~wevel" the experts Jlave selected ~isdl;:~:~!e::~.m~;~o::~ S:;i~~~SnSm~~ Pnsha. Totulreitoff IIlso declarcs that) may be members Louise to lift the crown from Had- l~el_lL~fyby countmg saa! numbe.l· and 1t has been rumored of the footbn! team, thut such leading dock's bald pate, pl'efel'ubly by a dlvldmg by two. Ritlerites as Balisry, Mujwit, and Las- knockout. The champion was UnCOIl- Because they wear long beards the HELP I Buy" jn" of fie'inol O'nt"'~lll nnd cllk. of may try to eliminate cerned at their choice, .Mos..cowians Imve been termed the sahndenburg candidate, the I ;~~~il~~l\\'~h~I'B!:i~~I,n~~'p/7(f.g~~·'t;'n~~~, ~!irl~ Amel'ican "Experts are nothing anyway," he "Soviet House of David," Babe Ruth cHndidnte expects KIDNEYS PASS chuckled, optimistic all a seed cata· tried to crash theil' team, but he was Although the vote will probably be logue, "because they are ouly guy~ informed t.hat only the Amel'iean In- dose, the. American TAKE that omit the small errOl'S as they dian is Red enough to join the Univer- to win, Hitler is sure of canying Germany, of the and parts Austria, sweep on to a gl'and fallacy," sity of Moscow. Rooshian Empit'e, but Warmall ex- 3 LBS. A DAY The Communist cham]Jions do not pects the radicals of Levine Hall led WEIGHT OFF caU signnls like AmericallS do but in- EARL BROWDER DENIES stead yelJ the names of pieces of tel'- by the enemy of Hitler, Leshby Dod- HE WILL TURN PRO ritory they would like to own, When- son, to swing the tide in his favor. TIRED FEET __ ever the center feels that. the right Comrade Earl Browder, who as- lone has been called,. he flips the ball rounded ('.ritics by Clillching a post 011 back, The cent.er IS Joseph Stalin, Can Your Nose Be L~~~ll~:~at:\~~~ c:~mU~ist, ~ea,~ ;:~~::nina~~e t:;~n!f ~e~~~! ~1~:::1~~~ Changed? If ),0"- f"~t ""d nllkl~.s[,'el 'ired u~d Rche ~ol'tse that heo~ould tu~n a:ro:e:~ionl~. (His tutor is Uussolini,) Browder aroused considerable feel- The Communist band undel' the di- m~~:~~~~i~;iln~~nl~~~~:Y5':~~"l?'~'~:i~t:~ ing in the United States by the excel- rection of Rubinoff, without his vio- Wnn'l wait, '\~k )"O!," dr"g!l;iSt rC)r MOB"'. leney of his play while warming the lin, will play good old Communist Pill", u~ed ~\,,·te"~fullyII)" million" {or O~er 4(} 'Iie~!~e~,\~~. '~~~:i'~ft~'~)",'~'~e~ni,~ftl"I";itl~e::;1 b,mch of Terre Haute Prilwn. He was songs dUl'lDg the halves, To add col- yo."•. T),~y~iw bnvJ1Yr~U~[Rnd will h~ll' 'he '''1>;,. 'I'b,. r"~.~n, d"~tora sny, '" of I"" be~au.a " littl~ 1:1",,,\ i< not worki,,!:righ'. 15 udle" of kidDe!' tub,,~ llush ont l",i6Qnou~ easily the best man on the convict's or to the occasion it has been rumored \\"".. ~ I""", .I'mtr blood team and was a stelll;lr gate atb'ac- that Comrade Earl Bl'owdel' will ~:§,I,:,~/~;}'.I:~'i~t,~~1:iiH~~h~~~:n:,l':~~:~~f~lIn\! tion. thl'ow out the first bomb. GOITRE The Communist st.ar who got his WAKE UP YOUR ~~~r":~;~!::~tlt:~!'~I}:'~h'::~~l!l~f.\~~!.!;~::yi:~~ start as a broken field runnel' dodg- .\lnk~ Thi" Qu,rk 1\--i :~ f~'~"~;'f~\~"~~;n;um~cru:;:e:.anw way n,. n ing rotten fl'uit on an Indiana plat- Gas, Gas All LIVER BILE--- form before being offered 11 free schol- the Time, Can't ~~~t~~~t~~i~?~0~i~:jii~~{;:~r.,:li r.'~~~:~',l:l~Y~,'~~:;~ll;~OI~,I"b!''';~~:i~o;;'~i~~o;:i arship tQ the Terre Huute prison was ,,,iUio'" 0' p,und .• of ,,~c,'~" {nl has heon wiped out In Ihi~ wa),. C~l..,,,,,,l_.\nd You'l\ uncertain of his plans, WII),,,"t B~d ,n tha ~Ii!rl\i"g n",.ln' ,11""1'QUI M 1.ta~ed nn to Go ~foloroh' 'r~hl~l" J'r~8rril"ion "No, I won't t.urn professional," th~ ~nmp mel,h<>d use<1 by doelon. are So don't Bl'owdCl' lUutlered from between his Eat or Sleep ·'\Pl'r"'·",1 1.t." " r~gi>l~!'('d l'hy.;~;nn, li'l',id Th~ II,·~,. ~hnlll'l ]\Onr Q"t ;\\'0 I'ound~ of )"", r 1.>0,,'(,1, doily, hil., ;"\~ If Ihi, bil~ ~:r,i:~~r:,~,~~I\~~'3;:1 ~no~~"\,~~~.I',i:.~k\~/eg~~~~ unsbaven jowls, "The only pro league ;i j~~ti!~~:,i;,~~fi';~'dl~'eY~~:,.,,\~'~di~~'\:,;,~~~~~\~~; W~. l"world lo"h !Junk. l'Oll f"~1~o"r, :I~,:;!'J '1~::'l::!ll~'h~i:':;~~~"I~e~l.eri~o'w ih~n~O;:! .A "'Mr bo"" Besides there is too much talent at I wl.h, ~I~eptine~"d "Il~~r fjolth~Hor."- 1,"""'i,'~~ ure 0,,1)' t""ke,hifl~ . Ih~ ",,"se. Sing Sing for me, ~rr .•, .T~~. Filler. ,'1 "'Q"~m"nl dQe.~"', I!"~! >It h Iho-,' "ooorb,'d 11)"lin' hl<>o(1. Tl,i. 'Hr"". lainled Neuritis? Rheumatism? "'Ilk fo,. h~hl'. a meeting of his Communist advisers, Wal'man, Walker, and Willoughby be- l'r~~i~\I,'~';,:,,':'11~~sh~;':' fl~:"'!;~k~(It~~~~<~"~~d fore making allY definite plans fot, the ;E~e~l~~~~r~\!~;~l;::~'t'~it~~:~~£:~:~~.~~r:,iC:~ Arthriti~ ? A"h.~ CUTIE, ~!l~NEA.POL!S, ].rol!>l. Pain" future, jo/;~"~~;~'·f~~u"~;,,,;~:';:G~roii,f:;;~"o°.;:b~~~~t~\:'r 1,..",It)..""""'e nilt,,~m, "o1 ollly mal' "~)" Ue lIUi~kl)" I>A:-1GS from 1'1", lorlutl"ll" oC ,1101«' .tomarh and I~ n..~ al,"orhedby the ~ody. r~lie"ed hy laking" tpw ~·n·.\ ,altl~l~ bUl ~I"jol mokes up for It d.Od~n~)'of nll111rRl canli,,"~,! u"e .h""ld Illimi"ale Il,,. ~cid. e"". Get Rid of Your FAT luhrlranl in Ib~ IntNtin~'. It I!(lflenRlb~ illg !1"."" Il'""hlc~. >;Iop~ulf .. ing, Aspirub for Lame BLACKHEA D S .,~~~~,r:lrn,~;~:~lu;ifv:~~~;::~~~~'I~~!;~0!!~·,o·0~: 0"1 ~·H.·Aot Y"U" drug).:'I"1 or dir~ct frm" THE Il!ULTH Pll.QDtH'Tl'$('0, or otUlII e"~r"i.c, burd€o'lOme diet SORE MUSCLES Th~u""nd~ wloo w~re mist'r.ble "'I"H dnll, :,~~",·~"(..,lfy~~U~i~l'tf""l bellrr ih~" you .~er <)" RID THE HOUSE OF ~IB"'nlio" \0 reduc\: lilOu"ftuda of Pel"l'OU~ wi).hout .\\'OlllEJ) WI'I'll OXYGE.'irin,n;" greRl rub ~onlnin. ~Wi{lll' p~n"frll.'~Sth~u th!). _ki" ,mootb '." tl\n t01!~h. 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