Page 17 - TheGoldBug1936-37

'A OLD UG~ Vol. 14, No.4 November 3, 1936 COMRADE BROWDER WINS Stalling Radios Congratulations To Says Levine Hall Senior Me11Stuff Ballot Boxes To All Comrades Of Local Soviet Will Be Red-O-Vated Push Over Communist Candidate Radio Dispatch Received By Old Mug Makes Publishers Hearse Turn Old Mug Pre-Election Poll Turns Out To Be The Last Straw; Ballot Red With Envy Battle Between Brcwderires and Re, Boxes Are Broken Open By Vandals With actionaries Will Necessitate COMPLETE ADDRESS PRINTED BELOW Complete Remodeling Unseeming Curiosity Comrade Plastered with then ears to the 18 I Claims Walker LENIN-TROTSKY AMALGAMATED BUNKHOUSE FORMED of the local Soviet were I Reactionaries Flee dio, comrades "Browder and funnier", cheered the pseudo-seniors as Comrades pleasantly star tied late last lllght IS TOTAL WASHOUT Wal'man and Walker jammed the bntlot box, ~:~nb;h~~::;e~;e~le~~t~~~lf~~:s~~;- Before Onslaught Under covel' of 11 thick mental fog A..~ I'hc"ghastly "Internationale" wus wafted to the high heavens tton, a special message of condemna-I __ which effectually prevented any pos- by out' young rcnegndes, the Anstralian ballot was traded back to the bon n-om Ccmmtesat Sta lling, head Brain Trust TWiddles Thumbs sibility of intelfigence, military 01' Australians for a red herring, And thereby hangs the tale, of the Soviet Yuwnicn While Reds Pull Fast One otherwise, from leaking out, the radi- .A,s olives go, so went our presidential poll ballot box. Both are Oommisear Stalling's message 'was cal group of senior dorm got organ- stuffed with Red, and both arc extremely SOUl', But never let it be said ized 11 bit under the weather the oth- ~~dt~~:l~~e tl~:t~::: a;fd :~~~~' ~~d "I can Just see the headlines 11l the that no good has come of it all, for 0111' able student politicians did their er night, darndeet job of 'vote mishandling. came as a complete surprise to nil ~~~t ~:I~~l~S,;~:~~,~.a~ltt:1er~:~::~~~~ Something less than subversive se- in turning in 11 masterful whom it concerned. ment as she paced the floor, West. niors and yet something more 01' less The Browder movements gained impetus the moment the Old ill'uf! Indeed, it was nearly over before ern Maryland Goes Communist!' A than jaundiced juniors, this paranoic auncunced its presidential poll. Here and there small but plenty noisy anyone could get the jest. of his fine thing that'll be, plethora of pediculous purveyors of groups got together and nearly 101'(' the buildings down in their efforts speech, but finally, spur-t-ed 011 by II "Why just think what that'll mean prulegYl'ic palaver, spurred on to un- to build lip the candidacy of the government's official "jail-tester," wanted action by the strident strains ~:.~~::n~;~el~ae~;;e c~~~'a!:~t~iS a[iS~:~ ~~t::~d~::~;u~~X\~~al~:~~s~oa~:n~! of distrait strophes, atrumpeted forth L-- Hail instantly became n seething hot-bed of revolution, ers became two-faced with the reali- thing's got to be done!" their theme song: Pseudo-seniors were not even content to waste three weeks in growing ties of the situation: this cratouical Downwith II beard and a dirty anatomy, but set right to \'-01'1-: and renamed their garbage was offered for their edifica- As she paused at this point in her Downwith quarters "The Lenin and 'l'rotskv Amalgamated Bunkhouse", tion and amazement, Thus, with ma 1'- angry pacing, Miss Price pounded 'the Downwith And from these premises mueh bunk flew, A large banner clenoted velous perceptiOll, new meaning was desk with clenched fist. A terrible, be- I Downwith shed. thing had happened-something Down with everything them atS"Bl'O\Hlel' Campaign Heac1quartel's"-Oul' Slogan: "I'd BrOil-- yond the imagination of even the most UI1With nothing del' he Pl'l'f;ident than be right", All extra bit of red extel'iol' was nl')o Shows Re-markable Foresight. far seeing I'adical on the Rill, 1'he electio.n of officers got under added, of whieh the UO,I'SSOOll1'epe11Ie(1, hOIl-c\'(~r, Feeling that this notewol'thy speech way encumbered by the slogan: All 'I'he Ilext da;v'N orders, sent by spec.ial cllblegram from i.\foscow, de- is worth noting, we have taken the EI~Lion \Va.'! Coming Ilfflce for \;.very- man and what-th'e- niamlecn3cttCl'l'esn1ls, "Wel'e no good ballot stuffcl's ly seized every lefL swing so entirely can be surpassed in importance only VllriOUSI:andidates, during' which non- l.mllot hy p{'I'~nasiol1 and intimidation, aIHI proceeded to mill'k them up, by the recellt American attempt to That they would even stoop to stuf- COlllrade Boomel' (II darned cllpit..'1.1ist drnll'ing 11 neAt blUe hmlllllcl' nlH1 !iiekle besioe Browder's name, make every girl a Campfire Girl. It fing the ballot box to obtain their who was oppressing fQul textbook Not content to wait !llld Sf'C lho l'esulfs of their lllbol'f<, lhe,)' even therefore behooves every good Amel'- ends, But the unthinkable had h!lp- pr'opngul1da into his brain, rat-her than in\'uded tim box, look the ballof.,>, and made a privnte count. Cheered ican student to put the Campfire pened, Communist rallies SIll'ang up in~tel'esting himself in getting a Brow- by the retlll'llS 10 the lHlt'sting' point, the T.Jcnin Hnd Tl'olskr Amalg:~ on every cornel' of the campus, Stu- Gil']s on the blnck-list. We cannot cer vie~oint) boomed ominously, hu"e our cause meet defeat! dents were threatened with dil'e ]lUn- two candidates, claiming between mated BlInldlOllSC celebl'llted \l'ith a good old-fashioned milk bottle festi· ishments Uliless they conformed to the "Students of America, arise.!! Will them 28 scholastic points, presented val, you aHow OUI' attempts to secure in- general ideas, Al\d for those who themselves fOl' election, Tl1l11 gave the ('ollll'llde Jnnitol' a ,m'ell elean-up job, ITe reported could lleither be persuaded 01" tlll'eat- The higher council is compromised ternational enmity, to be thwarted by ened, a still worse fate wllited, As by Comrades Stalill, Lenin, Trotsky, the 1](111:-; linl'd with a more six illehes of broken g-lllss,warc; the walls Ii'. group of marshmellow eating school the stout hearts ullsuspectingly re~ and Ford, along with Comrade BI'QW- Wel'e, nnrl ilre, (If'cidcrlly endllngcl'cd, girls 1 No, no, 1\ thousand times and del', In the meantime WlUlt abOllt 0111' candidate! Since we have se· morel It is not thnt tIle movcment turned to their rOOms, tlley found the Tn line with the policy of an office lected him b~'so dech