Page 66 - ThePhoenix1992-93

December 3, 1992, Page 10 t1K" .._...'..,.""'". \JJUN""3:;:~~rJF; ..:;,,,,,.,,-,YDiIJ•. ;,,(I;.,---,:,::, """,X=--~.t1.,'.1_W trc;'-·.,Oc,..,D,;. ~'7';';_WW_77.'7WW77 __,__x ){'';;W71wr'--"Mf_L:,~-~-om;; "<: .WPSS' Mascot May Change to the Yellow Chickens as Purdue Offers $50 Million ster High School, also in the area. Purdue funds the school the alumnis place to pick up chicks," otherwise, Mr. By PHILLIPPE ROSENCRANZ C...,rl""Ii",Wrl", However, since the school is not in would stop making their donations. The Purdue has done no other crowing over You Know him as "the Chicken Man" fact a secondary school, the name change whole idea is hen-pecked with problems. the situation. or "The Man Behind the Nose," but, in may not be such a fowl idea. Amanda Just because he is rich, I don't think There are many sides to the name reality, Maryland Millionaire and one Huggandkiss. a sophomore here at Purdue has any reason 10count his chick- change issue that must be considered, rich cluck Frank. Purdue may also change WPSS said that she "would like the name ens before they are hatched." Mr. Hunt but, as third year freshman Bob Friver the new name of Westminster Post-Sec- cbange. It may be more fun to root for also allude to the rumors that Mr. Purdue states "I don't care as long as he doesn't ondary School. the Yellow Chickens than the Green Ter- is cracking up and bis name has no place require us to wear fake noses like his." Purdue, famous for his oven stuffer rors, anyway." A junior here, Joques at our fine institution. When asked how would he feel about roaster and other bird-brained ideas has Strappe adds "it may improve the cafete- Labeled as an "Egghead,' Mr. Purdue going to the "Yellow Chicken" school, offered WMC $50 million for the name ria food if Purdue takes an active role in has had little to say on the subject. All Friver only said,"! was already kicked change. All agreed. $50 million is not the school," the Chicken King did say was that he out of Carnegie Mellon. With edibles in chicken feed, but there is a 125 year tra- Another consideration, pointed out by plans on running the school like one of your school title you can just call it food dition of being named for the Westmin- alumni Mike Hunt, is that "If Frank his farms: "Neat, discreat, and a great for thought." it' Focus on a Student: Merkin John Vegetable several weeks ago. He now By SARAH DEAN C"",rlb.,j«gR'p<>rI" has a new hotpot, "Flo," as it is called, Merkin John, also known as and is once again boiling water with the "Merkin," is a man unlike any other man; best of them. be is an instition. Merkin is also an avid nude Boggle He may appear to be an average player, although he much prefers to be "Joe", but underneath all that flannel lies clad in his latest "Mrs. Roper" oufit. His one bizarre individual. Merkin is an ani- favorite foods include Spam and jelly mal and craves the extraordinary. It is a sandwiches, weinersnitzel, and Little well known fact that Merkin possesses Debbies' snack cakes. an unusual fetish for hotpots. He often He plays guitar, rather well I might e-can be heard saying, "Give me a good add, and one can often enjoy the pleasur- a hotpot, and you'll not see me for weeks!" able sounds of the Bee Gees' "Jive Talk- ta Some of you perhaps attended the ing" eminating from his deluxe Rouzer ';.grave and grievous funeral of one of apartment. S Merkin's prized horpots (purchased from So next time Merkin John passes you wink, a little 15) which on September ~~~~=:':=:=:=~:====:~~==~~~~~~ zf!WOOlwOrtbs heated its last CampbeUs' by give Hotpots rule!" and say, "Hey l' Merkin, tragically Ask Dear Abby: Dear Abby: I have always bad the greatest respect for your advice and was wondering if you could help me with tbis problem? I have two brothers; one attended Wasbington State University and the other died in the electric chair. My mother died in an insane asylum. My father has been a narcotics pusher since I was three years old. One of my sisters is a highly paid prostitute, and the other is the com- mon-law wife of a local mafia chief. Recently, I met a wonderful girl who was just released from prison after serving time for smoth- ering ber illegitimate child. We are very much in love and expect to be married as soon as her venereal disease is cured. My problem is this-should I tell her my brother attended Westminster Post- Secondary School? Sincerely Yours, Troubled Tom T,W- 8:30-7:00 SAT- 11:00-3:00 ClosedO"c.23_ Jan. 4 For the Holiday