Page 97 - Scrimshaw1980-81

Any day this year S(umsnaw page 567 Quad Olympics Conglomerationsoj Iusroned factors in cerebral nucleic connections WHAT? the extended nerves called breath stretched between eals firmg fires from nine to live all the while blue sands and red cows slip of! the Andi Yob empty keg into the Bachelors' club CIOSiOgthe Quad Olvmorcs this edge of surfboards and they saw stellar dust collects in the vacuum Recapping last season in WMC room upon completion. The problem year, in ritual, was the famed bagging of sweeping poetry that makes absolutely no sense sports Western Maryland sportsmen was resolved however at a Bete relay. The Bachelors once again took Dan Yule <1M Wil San brought high acclaim to the usual party, where the two frats called il a honors for saturating twelve unsus- Western Maryland tradition of rnain-; truce and sealed the deal with a few pecting persons in one evenings, taining Iheir top standing In their beers and a friendly evening of sumo loppmg the Preachers' 6, the Betes' 4 Warning Prep alert division. The men from the Quad wrestling and the Phi Delts' 3 went on to prove themselves worthy Considering individual events and Tying for third place in all of the of Iheir high ranking position in the how each fraternity fared, the female events were the Preacher and Bete casanova category panel of judges voted in the Phi Dells fraternities, taking home the Bronze Infirmary officials today revealed worn without socks regardless of The teams took medals in the Quad as the victors and Bachelors slid into Bra as a fine club room display that they have solid evidence weather conditions (I wonder what Olympics featuring such favorite intra- a close second for the most part. The Finishing in second place, leaving that "preppiness" is a disease much Calvin Klein would say about that?) murals as "Bowling for Bottles," "Pro- ancient game of Chess-- whereeach with the Silver Slip, was the Baohelor like alchclcism. In fact, these two very Another curious prep phenomenom gressive Yatzee" and "Quarters" in brother must "make his move" was fraternity eager to display their much closely related diseases are some-, is the "Iziggy" shirt. Wearers of the the athletic events where each fra- played by all, but Ihe more athletic deserved honor. Scooping up the times found together in severely de- shirt like it because it enables them 10 ternity was pit against each other in Phi Dells, who show their dales a Golden Girl were the Phi Delts for a ranged patients idenlify other preps like themselves grueling competition. good time by playing intense "back- job well done. One further award was The dreaded disease of Preppiness Wearers also report feeling some "Bowling for Bottles" was clearly -qammcn." took laurels in the event granted to the most valuable player usually strikes in the late teen years sense of power, prestige and esteem J swept up by the Bete section with a Admittedly the Bachelor fraternity which went to J. Selfridge for contrib- while victims 'are attending the four- wearing the shirt of their prep foun- record of 10-0. The Preacher tratem- appeared to have a higher score uting most to the "Quad Cause." year educational institution of their der. Ziggy. (And you thought Ziggy ity took a close second holding a record, (so indicated by the notches When speaking with some of the choice after high school graduation was just found on memo boards and record of 7-3 in each bedpost) but the women participants, a variety of teeunas were This "plague" can strike as early as greeting cards, didn't you?) Running off with the title of the judges backed the old adage of expressed. Scrimshaw asked Bache- the high school years, if victims are Preps usually fall into the upper- season's "Qualified Quarters Experts" "quality not quantity," thus leaving the lor Dino Messina what he thought of fed preppy propaganda from the time middle, lower-upper, middle-upper or was the Phi Deft fraternity which Phi Dells top ranking in the school the season in Quad athletics but only that they are conceived. higher-upper social class (read "so- proved they could hold their beer Field events were swept up by the two words were caught by the fast Webster's defines preppiness as "a cial" as how much money you have). better than any of their competition Preachers at the old game of "Pick- talking Messina: "It's Hideous. " stateof being characterized as noth- This justifies the fact that most preps Top honors in the "Progressive Up-Chicks." Each contestantwas told Phi Delt Dave Bogdanski told ing more than a silly perverse attitude have Ziggy's on almost every article Yatzee" event went to the Bachelors to use his best line to persuade as Scrimshaw: "We hadda love it" and towards clothing, money, sex. and of their clothing: belts. garters, head- by a narrow margin of 8-7. The many female participants.as possible brother Carl McAioose agreed, ac- peer acceptance bands etc. The most prevalent place Bachelors nearly forleited this event to play in their fraternity games knowledging the fact that they had Some well-informed sources have to have a "Ziggy" is on the left breast to the Preachers. As Scrimshaw un- In the speed competition each 'made history like a rat" told this reporter of some preppy pocket of one's shirt derstands it there were threats made fraternity made mid-night runs to the As the satisfied crowds filtered clothing styles, since the same reo To give you a better idea 01 how by the Preachers on the Bachelors, local A&P for food, and although back to their dorms at the conclusion porter is obliviOUSto fashion trends rich you have to be to actoauv be a claiming if the Bachelors did not many ot the runs ended it ties, WMC of the weekend long competition, one as well as most of his studies. Styles prep, here is a breakdown on the throw the deciding game of yatzee, sports has eagerly earmarked the fan observed "at least we have a full focus around footwear, and most cost of an "Iziggy" shirt: $5.00 for all they (the Preachers)would steal their Betes the victors, due to their fine year of watching them practice for preps wear a curious shoe called a of the materiel in the shirt. $16.00 for keg, drink the beer, and throw the performances in previous road trips rext ume to look forward to" "docksider." Such a shoe is usually the handcrafted design of "Ziggy," $100 surcharge on each shirt so that Boeri lands Spaceman title can continue to look prep-like (after the salesman that sold you the shirt Rapid Robert all, he's not union and he has to have some money to spend at Mt. Alexan- In a duel of the unrenowned, la- A confident Dean Mowbray said, rhythmically in his seat as he pulver- After the match, "Captain" Boeri der's), and last but not least impor- crosse star, Lou Boeri defeated Resi- "I've been distracted lately, but I am ized astroids and saucers alike with attributed his vrctory to developing a tant, 25 cents for the 340 pound dent WMC Tennis Bum, Dean in top shape to take on my opponent. uniform execution, and defeated sense of rhythm. seamstress making the shirt in an Mowbray last Saturday for the As- You have to consider the fact that I Mowbray 220.000 to 195,700 "I listened to a "police" album over insect and flea infested Hong Kong !roids "Captain of the Spaceways" have been around longer than Lou, In the final game of the match, and over and over. AILI heard in the factory. And let's not forget $1.12 Championship and no matter how hard he tries, I am Dean Mowbray edged ahead of back of mind during the match was worth of sales-tax for Maryland's Boeri, who "worked out" for two the spacier dude." Baeri, scoring with ease in his "isola- "don't stand. don't stand 100 close to illustrious and invisible governor, The hours early every morning since Jan The match, played before a tion" style of staring at the screen. me," said Boeri Honorable Harry Hughes. This brings term, said before the match that he crowded game room, was a cliff- However. as the players took their Dean Mowbray conceded that he us to a total cost of $2337, which is expected to win, because of the hanger from start to finish. The first final scoring opportunities, something lost his concentration in the final a cheap price for buss in Preppy- endurance he had built up playing game brought misfortunefor Boeri as seemed to disturb the Dean, but round of the match. He did say that Land, or "How to Go to College for I la~~~~ecan get unbelievably tired he crashed into astroids and missed Boeri remained persistenl and racked he expected a rematch with Boeri Not Less Than $10,000 and Come later in the semester out With Cirrhossis and Ulcers" "Killer Saucers," allowing Mowbray to up points as he rhythmically rocked staring at that screen and breaking outscore him 240,000 to 160,000 his way to a final tally of 270,300, points comparison to me," said Mowbray somebody has some socks and And if that steps on any feet, I hope "Lou may have beat me this time, and but he is only a space cadet in those rocks," said Boeri. Dlon~T~~e~!~ I~:::::J~~~~~~~::::J However, Baed got back into the defeated Mowbray by 30,000 Byrne docksiders on! in the final game. match in the second game, rocking 30 YEARS AGO. WE Bree OVer the past two years, mostly PIONEERED LOW FARES during this one, drawings have graced the pages of Scrimshaw (usually on weeks when there is a TO EUROPE. TODAY WE'RE distinct absence of an editorial). snRu~489 These pen and ink -9rawings,often of fantastic creatures, receive no formal credit in the staff box - just a little signature in the corner - Byrne Byrne of course stands for Bill "Bench Press" Byrne, our loveable, untainted, hard working Editor in Chief No It's not Bill Byrne at all. None of DNEWAY, STANDBY those sketches were by that two- faced, frustrated artist, who has been NYTOWXEM_RG living off the reputation of another for the past two years Luxembourg to New York return ticket, with confirmed The drawings belong to his brother reservation: $249.50 (lh normal round trip fare) when It is he who deserves the credit. And purchased with standby fare. Free wine with dinner, cognac believe me, his artistic talent does not Every Sunday morning after. Prices effective through May 14, 1981, subject to change run in the family - I have seen some and government approval. Purchase tickets in the U,S,A, of Bill's sketches and alii have to say Seeyourtravela!le~torcal(Icelandalr.lnNew YorkCity7!i7-8585; elsewhereca!l800-555-1212!orlhetollfreenumberinyourarea. is "HA!" That's right, "HA!" between Whiteford and Does this plagiarizer deserve to be ICELANDAIR punished? I guess not. So next time the cafeteria at you see Mr. Byrne, don't call him a NOW MORE THAN EVER YOUR .,_ phoney, or a graduate of the Stick- BEST YALUETO EUROPE J8' figure School of Art - just set fire to 10:58 a.m. him