Page 33 - Scrimshaw1976-77

October 22, 1976 Scrimshaw PAGES Jerry and Jimmy: Gone Berserk? Phil (apadula - Have the politicians in this nobody could even repeat it! Jimmy Carter was probably Ethnic votes in the country. Have whole race of people. Ford's country finally gone beserk? Are What we are currently ex- being honest when he called these men no common sense? They remark on Eastern Europe was a they really as crazy as they've periencing in this country seems to Lyndon Johnson, "a liar." It's all have their degrees from Har- gaffe and raises serious questions sounded and looked recently? In be another after-shock of probably even true that Lyndon vard, Yale, or the Naval Academy, about his knowledge of foreign retrospect to the latest verbal Watergate. During the Watergate Johnson was a liar! Based on what but apparently no one taught them affairs. But the way they blew up blunders and gestures by various era people began to distrust we've heard lately about his when to keep their mouths shutt! some of the other things, such as presidential candidates and of- politicians and to regard them conduct concerning the Vietnam It seems obvious by now that the the "ethnic purity" remark was ficials of the government, such a generally as dishonest. They War, it is not inconceivable thalhe press has placed more emphasis on ridiculous. The latest blunder was conclusion would not be un- weren't saying wti:at they really deceived the people just as Nixon the word games and blunders of made by Betty Ford when she warranted. A couple of years ago, meant; they were deceiving the deceived the people. But the fact this campaign than on the issues. accidently referred to Carter as if anyone had told me that Nelson people. We now have politicians that Carter could not foresee the This trend started in the primaries "President Carter" during an Rockefeller could be seen on the being honest, but they're being political repercussions of such a when Jimmy Carter's "ethnic address. Iwas surprised not to find front page of the newspaper flip- honest about the wrong things! statement is incredible. Texas was purity" r~mark ",:,as blown all out that one on the front page. ping the bird, Iwould have thought There is also such a thing as being Johnson's home state and a vital ofproporlions. This was around the At any rate, it's two weeks until that person was ready fQr nut too honest! Nobody really cares one for the election. Even more same ti~e that Mo Udall declared the election and all eyes are on house. But a few weeks ago, there what Jimmy Carter's honest ideas unbelievable was President Ford's that he disliked the label "liberal" center stage to see which man will was old Rocky giving 'em the about sex are. They are even less proclamation that, "Eastern and now preferred to be called a back into the presidency. It's finger on page one of the Interested in Earl Butz's strange Europe is not dominated by the "progres~ive". Finally, Gerald unfortunate that a campagin with _Washington Star! A couple of and vulgar opinions about blacks. Soviet Union." The average ninth Ford advised us that the word so many important issues should months ago, who would have These are things that the grader knows that the Soviet Union "detente" would have to be be decided on who makes the most thought Jimmy Carter would give politicians can keep to themselves. controls Eastern Europe. All he eliminated from our vocabulary. blunders. . an interview on sex to Playboy. The American people will most has to do is look at one of those Big deal! How many people knew You would have thought Bob Dylan likely judge the honesty of their maps in his u.s. Government class what it meant to begin with? All or Joe Namath would. but Jimmy politicians by their actions rather and see all the red ink lines through Dyke Jr. Carter? You've got to be kidding! than their words. They should be Eastern Europe! It's in- ::~~~~~~~~db~a::sp;:S':::~~ But Earl "the Pearl" Butz really judged on whether or not they conceivable 'that Ford couldn't cut did thejn all when he let slip a adhere strictly to the campaign realize the effect such a statement :~~~i~gt~\~a~ai~~~s~f~~:r~ Given Award racial slur that was so crude laws in getting elected, and on would have on the Polish and other Butz's remarks since he insulted a With Debated Breath Western Baltimorean, College .named L. Maryland Julian native Dyke Jr., of the class of 1950, as its He Ormy (Title by Spoons) Yugoslavia are independent, and statement during the debate about colored folk pick peanuts for me, I "Alumnus of the Year." As a reporter for a small un- don't consider Russia to be what you. wouJd do in the event of have many colored folks on my Mr. Dyke, who is the vice- derground local bi-monthly dominant over them. Anyway; the aoother oil embargo?" payroll, and even have some close president for Christian Ministry newsletter, Iwas fortunate-enough word 'dominate' means 'to have Jimmy Carter began giggling colored friends." programs with the Fellowship of to be in the studio audience at the dominion over.' The word again. I asked Ford what he thought of Christian Athletes in Kansas City, second Ford-Carter presidential 'dominion' comes from the Latin Mr. Ford decided to answer me. the incident. is the ninth and youngest recipient an- debate. Afterward, at the recep- word 'Dominus,' meaning 'God.' "Didn't he say something about a Ford: "I don't know what of this award an which is given out- for to alumnus nually tion,_I spotted the candidates Russia is an atheistic state, and war? I heard him use the wcrdt everyone is so upset about. Doesn't standing service to the community, standing and chatting with one therefore couldn't hold God over WeU, we don't need any wars. every American want warm sex, another, so I approached them anyone. This is what I meant by Besides, the Amer-ican people good shoes, and a loose place to go the college, and in a professional field. with the bope of asking a few my statement." would never go for it." to the bathroom?" Mr. Dyke received his award and questions of my own. I decided a Mr. Carter giggled nervously. "Mr. Ford," I asked, "What is Carter laughed aloud. special recognition during the half- direct lie wouJd be my best ap- "Governor Carter, what is your the Ford administration's position I remembered my 12:30 flight time ceremonies of the proach, kllOwing that one more stand on national defense?" on the Panama Canal Zone?" reservation for Friendship, and Homecoming football game on little lie in the world of politics Carter: "It is a cumbersome "Where is it located?" he asked. asked Carter if he had the time. Saturday, October 9. wouldn't really hurt anything. task to maintain a formidable "Uh, well as far as I "That depends on a number of "Excuse me gentlemen, I'm He offensive military strength and remember, Mr. President, it still factors. We can never be sure if our Before joining the Fellowship, Ornry of the Washington Post, and sHU preserve moral and runs through Panama." watches are precisely accurate, Mr. Dyke was supervisor of I'd like to ask a few questions." diplomatic policies abroad. The "Well then"Or can think of-no and we must always remember to physical education in the I was immediately overcome by important and obvious objective is better position for it. The Ford remain open to the concepts of a brilliant flash of sixty-two per- letting neither of these override the administration's record stands for change and reason. I would hate to Baltimore public schools. While in fectly matched and precision- other, if this can be achieved itself, and no changes in position mislead you in such a delicate this area he played an active role polished incisors, canines, without letting one of them get any are necessary as far as we're matter, especially if it involved in in alumni affairs, as president of _bicuspids, and six-year molars. I weaker than the other. My goal is concerned." any way the formation of your the Metropolitan Baltimore quickly shielded my eyes and the indubitable preservation of all "Mr. Carter," I asked, "How do Opinion of me as a candidate. Chapter, chairman of the Alumni of the Western Fund and president managed to remove the sunglasses that is held'sacred in the ideals and you feel about the Butz incident?" Moreover L" ~ from my hip pocket in time to Maryland College Alumni Association. avoid any serious retinal damage. ~~r~~a~ t~:/~~~ic~ne ~~::~~~;r~~~ ';:~l:~:~e ~~~dfi::~ ,,~~o;~:~, th:h~in~~ein~:r~~~ Dyke named Julian "Mr. Carter!" I exclaimed, people. If I am elected, they will immediately. I feel that such have?" . Christian of the Year was in Kansas "However do you manage to make the country's decisions in all statements are demeaning and He looked at his watch and said, City for 1976. He and his family maintain that smile?" foreign matters, rather than let- degrading, and Butz should "Spiro's big hand is on the 10, and now reside tn Overland Park, "Whitewash," sneered Ford. ting Henry Kissinger run the apologize to all the colored folks he his little hand is almost up to the Kansas Carter retaliated immediately. "What my opponent just said is not ~~:!;":llar:~:~!~~:i~r!~a~~ ~~~u~~a~iz~:~e:~fv~!~e!n~i~~~ ~;2~.';;';;;;;n;;;ii'i;;;rn;;;;;;n;iinmiffitm;;;;;ii'i'iir=====t true. In all phases of life, as well as do in the wake of an oil embargo or little differently. I have lived -il! fields - a few months, Or permanent positions. a presidential campaign, I feel nuclear holocaust, or ." around coloreds all my life, and 1 Europe - Jap~n - Africa - Australia - South Pacific clean teeth and fresh breath are "Excuse me," I interrupted, find fried chicken and ham hocks - Far East - South America. The U.S. Govern- important. That is why I always "But didn't you make a definite to be quite tasty. I've always let the mentisthe!argestemployerofAmericansoverseas! have a mouthful of seasoned Tac- To~lIowyoutheopportunitv overseas, to explore working book the following for the U.S. Government Tics and brush after every meal has been researched and written. "HOW TO GET with uest toothpaste, so as to make A JOB OVERSEAS WITH THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT." sure I am orally sweet and sugary This book discusses employment requirements and actiyities at all times. The last thing I want to of 13 different U.S. Government Agencies in complete detail. .do is offend anybody when I and you will be told whom to contact at each one concerning speak." current overseas employment opportunities. Also complete The president spilled his martini information On: down his Shirt, but really didn't ·Teaching Opportunities seem to notice. 'Complete information on the Peace Corps - who and where to apply "Mr. Ford," I inquired, "What ·Employment Or'! U.S. Government Ships exactly were you implying when "Emplgyment to contact. at the Panama Canal Zone -WhatlVpe of positions they hire an whom you said, 'There is no. Soviet 'Career opportunities in the State Department and United States domination of Eastern Europe?" Information Agency. He was prepared for "thts. .Opportunities and Qualifications as a Foreign Service Officer . "Poland, Rumania, and Presents ... • How and were to aoply lor Embassy positions - Men - Women - ................il Secretaries - Office Help - Staff Personnel - etc. etc. ,. Plain & Fancy. The International Buffet Every Sunday 'What type of positions different Civil Service Departments hire for oversees ,. it Special this week: French Buffet 'List employment and whom to contact. Centers Nation Wide. of Federa) Job Information "Teaching ,. ,. Donuts -+c Beef & Beer Special $1.85 'Further Information 'Librarv on Employment Trades in Enqineer ·Accountin!! MUCH MOREll! "Maintenance 'Management 'Supply Work 'Recreational and MUCH. 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