Page 47 - Scrimshaw1975-76

Wednesday. November 12, 1975 Scrimshaw Page 3 Jett RcbinscnThe strange case of tbe missing pbonebooks You've been standing there unfortunate books that are setting to destroy the system by .studied. degenerates. waiting, with your tongue hanging snapped up right in the prime of breaking down all forms of mass Through the process of stealing out for the past hour and a half. life to be relegated with that great communication through such For those who cannot believe the telephone books, these thieves Finally the moment you've been injustice of misuse through disuse. small and insidious maneuvers as credability of either of the last two endanger life, limb, and the pursuit waiting for arrives. You can just One supposes that this is a Mafia stealing phone books. Upon suggestions, there is the third and of happiness, and even go so far as hear somebody finishing with, sponsored project, as they try to removal of the books, they will be simplest explanation for the to tamper with the American right "Well, I'll call you sometime corner the market on the books. ied to Russian scientists for mysterious disappearances of the tofreedomofspeech{boo,hiss).So soon," followed by a familiar click, When they have gathered enough decodification analysis. Each book holy books-we've got a couple of all of you dastercDy fiendish devils finalized by the jingling of small 'together, the books will be resold, will beeaten, page by page, using a rowdies on campus. When it comes out there who get your thrills out of coins as they ascend down the at outrageous prices (upwards of newly developed form of to destruction of public property causing other people to dial the narrow shoot to signal that another 25 to 50 cents), thereby bringing in memorization for top priority U.S. there are always a few fine fellows wrong number, watch out. Just phone call' has been successfully huge profits, all tax free. Governm ental documents in every crowd that will always be remember: the Shadow knows, the completed. A thrilling adventure is (osmosis). Under this plan, WMC right in the thick of things. These Mounties always get their man, now about to unfold before your is simply a test area, in which, are the ones who also enjoy pulling and the recycling plants are now very eyes, one above and beyond Another proposal is the "Com- following a one-year period, the the wings off of butterflies and paying 75 cents per hundred even your wildest dreams-the munist plot theory," in which those effect of phonebooklessness on the drawing mustaches on pictures of pounds for old phone books. Just phone is now completely and commie pinko red liberals are average Americasn student will be Dr. John. These are the real don't get caught. unequivocally YOURS. There you stand faced with one Red Cross Wants Blood of the greatest technological ad- Jeff Robinson vances of modern com- Next week, Monday and spend from $75 to $150 a pint for the drive is held both fall and spring munications. You reach con- Tuesday, November 17 and 18, fluid. semester on campus. However, next week when you're Sitting in fidently into the small shelf below Western Maryland College will In conjunction with the WMC this is one of the few collegiate the middle of Baby Bio studying the mechanized wonder, for that bold its Fall Semester Red Cross Blood Assurance Group, with blood donor programs in the area. the anatomy of the frog, just secret code book used to decipher Blood Donor Drive. Setting up guidance from Prof. Alex Ober, the Just think how lucky you are. So remember, "They want my blood." one of America's oldest number under Englar Dining Hall, in the puzzles-the C & P Telephone Book. classrooms across from the pool R;'h~~~,o, The old books in the library All of the sudden a feeling of bakony, the donations will be horror and amazement overtake taken from 9:45 am to 3:00 pm both you as you realize that the object days. Any blood from a human, 17 "It's the little, seldom noticed, hard won wisdom, extracted from of wisdom that stands ripe in the that you are in search of is not in its years of age and older, in things that are so often valuable." fulfilled lives. They were old books. pages of these seldom used, but proper position. A hasty call is reasonably good health, and Once I had known a man who quite Yes, old books, with no fancy, thoughtly written, little books- made up and down the hall: "Does weighing over 110 pounds, will be frequently. dropped that line in my bright colored jackets and tight books of delight and inspiration- anyone have the phone book for accepted (provided blood has not hearing. It took a number of years binding to popularize themselves. written in the quiet of reflection. this floor." For the first time since been donated in the past 6 weeks). ~~~re V~I~:m:ft~ s: entering upon the campus grounds, ~~r~~: ~~:.O~oo~ktSh~t~a~t~~~~d :::~ r----------, the only sounds to be heard are the In order to sign up donors for the aphorism he so patiently and acquired a musty odor and .the cont. from pg. 2, col. 5 crickets chirping in the bathroom. project, student coordinator Laura Besides that there is utter silence. Hayner, will have a table for that :;~~~~t~~ ~:u~t~~ :~i.mpart to :!i;:ct~: aaJellieireto!~Ys~~~n: ' :rO~d ~ f:~a::;c~o~[!~~l~~; Soon, in the background, can be purpose set up in the cafeteria for there on the book racks. Indeed, the very technology that made' hi heard the baying of a large dog lunch and dinner all this week. If 20 Just by way of example, r was they seemed to reflect the evolutionary advance possible. upward toward the recently for- percent of the student-faculty glancing over the shelves of hooks knowledge and stature of the In closing, Dr. Kranzberg sat med new moon. An erie tension population give blood, this will give on the first floor of the Hoover J!di~~~~::n;:~n:ro:il';~u:at ~J=!~ begins to sweep over the empty coverage for free blood to the Library last week. My eyes were ~~~a~uf: ;st~:U:: hallway, as you stand there in entire school (students and stowed by some titles such as: The some of them to the WMC Library. troubles. "Hard work, an desolation trying to figure out what faculty) and their immediate Uses of Life. The Human Machine, And there they rest, silent partners i dedication to .humanitaria~1 your next move will be. But the families in the event of a needed and How to Live on2-t Hours a Day. to anyone who would be desirous of; principles will be needed to im- conclusion as to what has occurred transfusion. Under the direction of With the gentle encouragement of reflecting on the "natureof things" prove our situation." Respect fo at the scene of the crime is now Ms. Hayner, WMC hasn't fallen such tantalizing titles, I pulled at the guide of men and women of our fellow man is also essential. obvious. The forces of evil have below their quota over the past several books from the shelves. distilled experience. Dr. Kranzberg reminded the been at work here-your telephone four semesters. Within minutes their pages had audience that "the lesson of history book has been kidnapped! yielded to me some thoughts on the is hope." these little books, as Yes indeed, If you have ever found yourself bearing of grief, the nature of other little things in life, may prove f-----------1 in the ;bove mentioned situation, For the short, is-minute process, happiness, and the value of life. It most valuable for the insights they Question of the week: If "pro" is do not feel alone. Phone book six to eight people at a time will be was as if these books had some embrace. So my suggestion is to the opposite of "can," then what is stealing has become one of the allowed into each time slot. This mystical power to impart to me a t..:: 1h ::..,"oppo=,=;"':..:o::f_""..=o...~e:::,,::.:'_"_.....1 more finely developed arts on involves a medical check for more vivid awareness of life and take the time to gather the harvest campus. Although leaving most temperature, blood pressure, and the world about me. My despon- students at the mercy of that most general health status. All in- dency 'of that dark afternoon was cold and cruel hearted villain of dividuals will be properly screened removed by further reading in News briefs an-the telephone information to avoid any disease contamination those delightful books. of the facilities. operator-ripping off (or ripping apart) phone books must leave the And what were these books that Relay already has a project we Tonight at8:00 p.m. in Baker 100, culprit(s) in a perpetual state of There is a drastic need for blood st~ on the ~helves? These books think would interest a-lot of you. Ruth Stewart, a missionary from ~~ ecstasy following their act of since it is only of value for three which embodied the thoughts and· The Senior Citiiens Center- of Algeria will speak of her ex- mischief. weeks at a time and the Red Cross reflections of men and women Westminster has called us because periences in - the mission field, discards any older than that. who had passed through the they need volunteers for their operating a reading room for There are several theories as to Without coverage in this program, passions ~nd SOITO":Sof life. ~ese Meals on Wheels program. This is students lear.ning English. to the poor, what actually happens Vic Emerita Why individuals who need blood must books which embodied the pam of senior citizens in this area who are to Sponsored Fellowship, Intervarsity meals provides that a service by Ms. Stewart Christian O meeting are needed tonight and to students and Mark Katz D YOU D0 I? unable Packers to fix their own. to pack the will speak at the IV considering t • "I went to the library " ~ was almost orgasmic the way 1 look. I'm sure you've found meals on weekday mornings from missions tomorrow. ripped it off. 1 even stopped & yourself tempted to steal a book 9:30-11:00 a.m.i'Phis is done at the "I went to the library " talked to the checker-outer & he now & then. Especially those Brethren Center in New Windsor. Delta Pi Alpha is holding a raffle "I found a book." asked me if I was cold because I beautifully illustrated sex Your help would be needed only of a black-and-white Sony "I found the book." was quivering." manuals, right? But why are you one day a week and if we find television. The raffle runs through "1 like it because it was an ad- "I walked'up to the ho hum guy tempted? Is it by that great enough volunteers we'd like to Nov. 15-dl"awing of the winner's venturous history of physics." at the desk & he looked at me kind American Ideal of getting work out car pools. name will be at .halftime of the "I had to read it for History of of sly & counted the pages in the something for nothing? Nope-you The second aspect of this project Physics class." book to see if I had stolen any." pay through the nose; tuition. Is it comes in the form of visitors. football game against Lebanon "It was a hardbound zonker with "Then I went back & hung some because you are attracted by the These are people who deliver the Valley. Tickets are a quarter each beautiful illustrations." of those great pictures up on the fine covers, water-marked end meals. You would get the chance to or $1.00 for a book of five. They "I leafed through it & found that wall Everyone kept going in & out papers, the rirst numbers' of two- meet all the clients in their homes. may be purchased from any it contained the information that 1 getting zonked by all the great new hundred third editions of the WMC No cars are needed for this member of the Preachers. needed." posters I was coming up with. That library? Has the boredom of WMC because you would meet your "I lusted after that book." one's twenty-five cents I said. How life turned you into a bunch of driver at the Grace Lutheran Have you ever been on a road "I needed that book to study for about for a friend? Twenty I said." bibliophiles? Maybe. Is It for the Church, in Westminster, at 11:15 rally? Try out Delta Sigma Kap- the unit exam we were having that thrill of victory? The agony of a.m. and return by 1:00 p.m. The pa's Road Rally this Wednesday, semester-jt was the text I forgot to "I walked in-the pariah of my defeat? Is it because They are Center wants to make it clear that November 12. Registration begins buy." dorm. J sat down on Friday There that you stalk into the it is flexible and willing to work at 6:00 P.M. in the Grille. Cost is "So I stuffed it in with the rest of evening & did not get up until library on ghosily moonlit nights, around your schedule. $1.00 for every person in your car. my junk." Sunday nighll had it all dC!wnpat. & stalk out again with arm fulls of If you are interested in either Follow all the clues and discover "So I wrote my name on the card 1 failed the exam." ilIicitely gained possessions? aspects of this worthwhile project some great new Carroll County in the back, along wfth my student "So I use the extra money to Hmmm? Or is this indicative of please let Relay know by dropping roads you never knew were there 10 DO., my license no., my soc. treat mysel£. I saw Jaws last week. moral decay? Of the splintering of a note to Box 1191 or by stopping before! For all you adventurous security no., my binder no. I turned Today I am buying a new car." America's backbone: upper into our office, basement of Mc- people there will be special bonus it over & put the thumbprint in the "I failed the exam." middle class society? Frankly Daniel, Tuesday through Tburs- questions and prizes for the win- appropriate box." What would you do? Yes, you! I Reader, I don·' know. But I am day, 2-5 p.m. ners! Prizes will be given at the "It felt really great. I mean It know you're not as innocent as you ashamed of you! Please get involved! Grille Party following the Rally. "