Page 99 - TheGoldBug1970-71

PAGE 7 Spring ball's sprung Tom Brown The first week of April ushered back to Hoffa Field the Western Maryland College Green Terror football team, as theyprepare for the upcoming fall season. "Spring Ball" will last a month, with new offensive plays being added, including a wishbone formation which will razzle and dazzle the crowds next year. For the first time in many years all the captains will be present, with rotund Larry Garro, baby-faced Ken Bowman, and pencil-legged FreDee Kimele. Sacrificing a baseball career this year, quarterback Mike "Ace" Bricher came out to polish up the offense. 30-some players are out, Will:! a few guys who have never played before. These 20 days of practice will culminate with an Alumni Game, where all the old farts who have played in past years will test their rusty skills against a highly developed 1971 team. ' . . In recent years, people not connected with football have criticized the existence of Spring Practice, stating that more time is devoted to football than any other sport. But, upon observation of the l~ngth of the basketball and wrestling seasons, It is seen that they last From October to March, which is about a " 1/ 2 month season, compared to a 2 1/ 2 month football season. Track- men may complain also, but isn't cross-country just "Splendor in the Grass" a fortified "fall practice" for the track team? also. The worth of Lacrosse has a fall practice, when looking at the spring football is revealed The townies are coming! season records between 1952-1957when there was. no Spring Practice. During these years there were less wins than before 1952 or after 1957. Spring Football serves as a time when learning new plays By Tom Yingling and teaching fundamentals to anyone who is in- As I was lying in my room, trying to figure out in the grille and talk about famine in India, or we sit terested is emphasized, and, being such, should be why the hell people can't get along in the world, a around smoking dope and talk about Coon 'Branch kept in the athletic program at WMC. freshman across the hall came in and asked me needing money. But townies don't rap too good. I what a townie was? Well, you'll know if you ever mean, they won't get involved. It's a bummer. Bad meet one. And if you do, just curl the left half of for our apathy. Volleyball revamps your upper lip in a snarl and walk the opposite way. Finally, yes, this has got to be it. We are an ivory Now he wants to know why! Christ, freshman are tower of unapproachable intellectuality. Yes, that's stupid, aren't they? it. Why, we are eight miles high over Westminster I Wel( for one thing, he's a hick looking for trouble. and no one can reach us. Townies may try, but The girl's volleyball season is well underway and Just ask any beer slurping, "Charlotte the harlot"- they'll only fall to their death. I look up and see a the team's skills are developing to round out a team singing fraternity man and he'll fill you in on hicks. townie falling past my window. r lry to catch that lost four of its six starters this season. The It seems they're uncouth, uncultured, stupid, her, but it's just an illusion. We aren't eight miles record shows a one and three varsity tally, but troublemaking slobs. The trouble is frat men have high over Westminster, and she wasn't a townie. Coach Carol Fritz explains that the team was sorely their eyes in their heads and can't see straight. If We're on the ground and people are jumping out of hit this year when most of the players graduated at they could they'd be appalled at the revelation. But the fourth floor windows in MacJea. There's quite a the end of the last season. She adds, "Our skills, then again, all of us have our eyes in our heads, waiting list. One an hour is all they'll take, so you'd though, are equal to any school we've played; all except me. Mine are in the sky, and I can look better contact an SLC member and get your name we need now is more team co-operation." down. Townies are gonna bust the hell out of on the list, because it's true. It's not a rumor. The H~ading this year'~ Varsity lineup are .Seniors something! ROTC to the rescue: WMC patriots townies are coming. THE TOWNIES ARIt Melissa Marten and Linda MacDonald, Juniors Mel are going to stand up and defend their property COMING! Coleman, Frank McCabe, Linda MacWilliams and from outside imperialistic aggressors. After Ah, he's just feeding us a bunch of bullshit. He's Carol Schmidt, Sophomore~ Libby. Eife and Janie the battle has been won by our side, the dust gottobe. Isn't he? Who is this dude anyway? ~atts and Freshman Robin F?rmcola. About 35 clears, and the patriots prepare to celebrate Then someone vaguely recognizes my name and girls went out for the team but since not that many their victory. They procure the ovens from dismisses the whole deal with, yea but he's a townie were need:d, cuts .we:e made. the grille, penetrate the glass !n the s~nd- himself. The Junior Varsity Includes Judy Gardner, Jill wtch machine and feed their starving, Yes it's true. I don't know what to do. What did Kaberle, Sandy Kearns, Pat Nardone, Jill Porter, exhausted bodies, and even tie Rudrow to a red, Georg'e Lincoln Rockwell do when it was exposed Pat. Saunders, Tina .Snell.' Carol Whitmer, Molly . white, and blue pole and proceed to liberate the that his mother was Jewish? Oh, hell they're sure to Whltwort~ and Debbl.e Wilbur. . bookstore. It's too bad they don't feed their starving heads first - ~~t~~~;11~~~~hnet:.I\~~~~r~ ~e?~' ~~~~~~~YB~~ sa~~~~m:n9a~~~n~~~:~ed~na A~~~: 2~,at~~~;:t~ Ah, this is it, it's bad for our morale. Yes, cer- sides have deserted me! Neither trusts me! Oh, but game With Morgan on April 26, home; one With tainly it is. I mean, those townies don't know look I was just kidding. Look, my eyes are in my UMBC on May 5, away; and a possible game with anything. They aren't educated about the world's head, really they are! I was just kidding! Can't you Notre Dame, the date as yet undetermined. problems. They really bring us down. Imean, we sit take a joke? Divoters play thru Elections reveal SGA faltering B.D. Snakeman Bringing back fond memories of the Myrtle Beach trip, the golf team played Johns Hopkins and by William Candee and had opinions that varied from wishy washy to Gallaudet in strong winds and freezing cold. The well made campaign posters, degraded by distinct support. After each speech the few people, Preceeded and followed by summer weather, hastily scrawled. aimless obsenlties, occupied the who did come to listen, clapped respectfully and Saurday was a foul day for golf, but the linksmen walls of the littered Grille for a week. Most of them soon everyone was on their way to lunch as the rose to the occasion, defeating Gallaudet 17-1 and advertised candidates for SGA treasurer, which candidates ended up by urging everyone to vote. Hopkins (for the first time in four years) 16-2.Slug was the most highly contended office. The only Armstrong set the course record with a super 78! other SGA office that seemed to be contended for In years past candidates admitted that the SGA For his Herculean effort Slug received the Player of was that of Vice President. All of the other offices was ineffective but they offered positive plans to the Match Award. Jeff Abbott and Tom Danver, were either unopposed or had no candidates at all. revive it. This year, however, the candidates do not playing in their first varsity matches,. turned in It seemed as if great efforts were made by some appear as optimistic but seem resigned to the type strong performances, each winning Doth their people to remind everyone that there was to be an of SGA we now.have. The only hopeful lump on the matches, 3-0. Veterans Cary Jones, John Nesbitt, election lest they forget entirely. horizon, for SGA, is not the new officers, although and Billy Dayton played steadily to card winning Public forgetfulness did seem to predominate as they are as good as any other officers, but the scores. The team's performance proved very the traditional speeches were made in Alumni Hall, proposal for a student-faculty type of all college promising for the rough schedule ahead. After on Thursday, as hardly anyone came and the government. This would give tbe SGA a new chance having the first matches snowed out and playing speeches were 'made to an empty room. The to function as the clumsy, restrictive committee the next two under adverse conditions, the golfers speeches themselves did not seem to contain much system will be streamlined and relations with the are a bit apprehensive about the rest of the season. substance or optimism as nothing basically new or administration will be faciliated. So we must go on Confident of conquering all foes, they are a bit leery positive was mentioned. Most of the candidates to another year with the positive idea that perhaps of the Whimsee weather's knack for conquering mentioned the idea of an all college government this time we can do it. - ,them.