Page 44 - TheGoldBug1957-58

I The Gold Bug, Feb. 6, 1947 Alumni Hall Walls Tremble Shall we all pray? Gold Bug Staff. -The During Impressive Speech (Cont. from page 2, column 4) Warm the hearts against this war of yours, Father. continue all military preparations, (Continueth from page 1) God: But suppose Satan should at- If Satan comes, we will meet him tack. as a brother in friendly discussion. soul and more sin. ceive and to echo these historic words. of those you love Jesus: Father, you know there will Mars: As a what? In a what? Havefaithandfearme is the presi- The building shook and the glass be no attack. Preparedness invites Gabriel: As a brother in discussion, dent, the vice-president, the treas- trembled in its frames, as if in awe Send attack for fear you will attack first. Mars: What's that? urer, the secretary and the song lead. of some supernatural monster, as en. It all invites fear. Voltaire: (Aside) Look at his jaw. er of the Gallopin' Galileans, which thusiasm reached a climax. The rows REDjHEART God: He is our enemy. Ingersoll: (Aside) He could slip his is the Westminster branch of the Jesus: Love your enemy. collar over his head without unbut- Chicago Commandos for Christ. His of orderly, militant soldiers broke as God: He has conspired against us. toning it. they tore their hair and gnashed their work in past years has been notable teeth in wild fervor. Two or three Jesus: Be good to those who despite- Paine: His skull-a gorilla. He rep. in that he has been propounding a fully use you. resents the extreme stupidity of modern crusade by the Church for irrepressable young students left, God: He is in back of the earth wars man-war. sabres clanking ,as they stomped, to the possession of the Holy Lands still prey upon the quiet heathens of the that despise you. God: All military preparations will evistent in the Near East. He is fur- town. It is rumored that they are More Veterinarians Jesus: Resist not evil with evil. be discontinued. I have said it. ther in favor of pilgrimages for pur- the three who hanged one of the in. Smoke God: Well, well. ]Jars: I do not understand. poses of penitence. fidel pacifists on Main Street. Jesus: Blessed are the peacemakers. God: Of course you don't. Gabriel, "Religious workers of the world, DROMEDARIES God: Come, come, my Son. Don't proclaim this new truth. Not to unite! You have nothing to lose but Dr. Havefaithandfearme's speech be a slacker-let us make the Uni- prepare for war is the supreme in- the devil! " was the battle cry echoing lasted only twenty minutes, as is still Than Any Other verse safe for brotherly love and telligence of man's reason, the throughout the aged 'walla of Alumni required by an ancient college tt-adi- Me. You have a reputation in this rightness of his soul. Beloved Son, Hall which cracked with every thun- tion dating back to the 1940's and Cigarette love and brotherhood business, and let us go view the new-made star. derous ovation, The chairs had pre- which has seldom been violated. In if you would give the angels one The essay is submitted without viously been removed, and the student explanation of this, the doctor men- of your twenty minute talks on comment, except for expression of body, men and women, dressed in tioned that "What this world needs PLEASE BUY OUR BILE PILLSI love and brotherhood and the holy regret that space forbade its printing identical and immaculate blue-lapels is more ritual, more regimentation, cause of making the Universe safe in the entirety. However, a comment for-well-for-you know. seems stood at attention row on row to reo and more discipline!" We got more bile pills than Carter Jesus: But, Father, I meant every by Hobbes in the Leviathan Man in a a"nd in order. opportune An eerie and solemn calm spread has liver pills. We got piles of bile word I said on earth. It was all to over the group as the dignified Colonel pills! make more clear that love, not hate, state of Nature as we know him has his to preserve two major desires: Immaculate of the r. o. t. c. strode Yellowe, Greene, and Btacke, Inc. is the salvation of the world. Fa- own liberty, and to acquire dominion down the broad aisle after the speech ther, you yourself said, "Thou shalt SPECIAL!! to shake Dr. Havefaithandfearme's not kill." And I have conscientious over others; both desires dictated by hand. One woman who witnessed the Structural objections to murder under any the impulse to self preservation, Steak dinner in event from the balcony spoke of it as name. Through the conflict of these desires all, which arises a war of all against "a reverent communion between Steel God: A conscientious objector! Look makes life "nasty, brutish, and College Dining Hall Heaven and earth, all for one and one Foundations down on earth and see where they short." Individuals integrated into for all." Another claimed the doc- are. In jails, in penitentiaries, a society make conflict which causes. Every Thursday tor's speech to be "wise words of For the Girl with the persecuted, despised. war as we connote it. wisdom, divinely inspired and des- proverbial figure Jesus: Father, I am your son, and Certainly, the past five years has tined to go down in human history what I am is of You. Betray me taught us what a war between so- forever and ever." I. Beam Foundation Co, not. cieties is; and as an extr-eme example God: Though men betray you, I will of the conflict within society, con. not betray you, aider the situation of the thousands Jesus; Blessed be the peacemakers. of conscientious objectors who are God: (Calls Gabriel.) still in detention camps, spite camps, SLUGGISH? OVERWEIGHT? Advertisement Gabriel: I am here, Lord. and until quite recently, prisons, and God: Blow your trumpet. Call them even solitary confinement, and who Weslminsler Lighl SocielY all here. Try our Tapeworms! are treated as---or worse than-the (All enter.) criminal enemy of society who robs, Send for Sample Worm Archangels, angels, gentlemen. Dis- murders, and rapes. False Prophets ~.K.B~n~::~on~~::.~.~ Vigorous Worms Guaranteed to Work! F J Yes Non-Profit! An old verse says: 'r -- (We Can't Remomber) Why does he love her? (Page 1 begat this article) The proceeds go to the administrative Curious fool be still. Is Love the growth of retirement fund. Friday, February 7-0rganized student strike against serving fish in the Human Will? who ever heard of mathematics devel- In various rooms within the ultra- dining hall. It is each student's duty to attend. Thus, by some great Wisdom, oping or evolving? modern and convenient building are Saturday, February 8-7:30 p. m. Pie-Throwing Contest in Blanche Ward the Beauty and Vanity and Pur- Argument No. 28 includes many card tables at which perpetual games Gym sponsored by the Men's and Women's Student Governments. pose of woman is kept alive in 'testimonials from prominent scientists are held under the sponsorship of the Target for the evening-members of the faculty. (Bring your man, so that he may devote of the twenties who point out weak college. There is one small room friends and grudges along.) precious Reason to the 'essence points in the Darwinian theory. True,' somewhere in the rear where stu- of Life. - Sunday, February 9-Sunday School, 9:15 a. m., Baker Chapel. The bi- What to do with 'em? the Darwinian theory has been re- dents may play without gambling, monthly lesson on temperance. Sir Babbling Brooks, speaker. Love 'emf! vised and refined to make it agree A small shop will shortly be opened Monday, February 100Assembly_11 :30 a. m. Topic-"Free Love and the with all the known facts. But pro- naxt- to the recreation building for College Student" by Dr. I. Wuz There. Dr. There has been secured F. T. A.! fessor Huxley himself said, "Evolu- the purchase of cigarettes, chewing through the efforts of the Sociology Department. ~~~~~~~~~~ tion is not proved and not provable." tobacco, beer to take out, and pack. Tuesday, February 11-8:00 p. m._? Senior Necking Party. Anywhere This definitely shows the theory to be aged goods. This will, of course, be Back Campus. We promise you an evening you'll never forget. (In- false, hence insidious. The mere fact a non-profit organization under the formal). that the existence of things on the proprietorship of T. K. Binkerton. Wednesday, February 12-SCA-7:00 p. m., Baker Chapel.' The stirring abstract (in the sense of intangible) Books will be held in stock, but the question "Why?" to be presented and discussed by Dr. I. Will Tellyu. plane, such as value, love, and good- supnly will be limited due to expected Beer and pretzels to be served after the meeting. Feb. VI Feb. VIII ness, cannot be conclusively demon, negligent demand. holds a maximum The new library Thursday, February 13--Public burning of all regulations concerning cars strated, however, does not disprove of ten thousand 'books arranged ec- and co-eds. 8:30 p. m., Hoffa Field. The Board of Trustees and "KNOCK TURN" them. cording to the Dewey decimal system. chosen representatives of the Methodist Bishops will be the guests' of It has been emphasized to all stu- honor. And thus the fifty ingenious ar-gu, Friday, February 14-Rush tea, McDaniel Lounge, at 4 :30 p. m., by the Feb. IX Feb. XII ments pile up-EVOLUTION HAS dents that The Book-of-The-Month Am Gladda Did Sorority. ONCE AND FOR ALL BEEN DIS- Club offers have been refused due to put Saturday, February 15--Bund Meeting, 7:45 p. m., Baker Chapel. Dr. "TWO EARS BESIDE PROVED. LET IT REMAIN IN ITS the lewdness of the three selections with tables forth. are There Wheatfield presiding. THE MASK" RIGHTFUL GRAVE. chairs about, each one to accomodate Monday, February 17~Vice Recital in Divine Hall by Professor J. D. Mac- For your edification and defense twenty students at a time. A full- Husky, 8 :00 p. m. against atheists this small volume is time librarian will be emjfloyed. Feb. XIII Feb. XV heartily endorsed for re·ading. By The chief addition to the magazine Rev. Williams, it can be found on "THE CONFIDENTIAL section is Sunshine and Health, a pe- WMC's library shelves. There is no riodical long-coveted by department MOD ERNE RABBIT HUTCHES HEARTH" excuse for the presence of any in- heads, yet omitted in the selection fidel, atheistic evolutionist- on this be- until recently because of the universal (no floors for easy cleaning) loved campus. Although most of the fear that students may be corrupted Stimulating environment for Feb. XVI Feb. XVIII discussions are of a challenging na- mor-e than they already are. ture and provoke much solid think. The coeducational dormitories are "THE MANY inactive rabbits ing. it is felt sure that there will be a speciaf attraction to all progres- HUTCH CO. Uniontown Road I ADORE" derived much benefit from a perusal aive, red-blooded young Americans. of this inspired book. The sociolog-y department is expected FOUND As a closing suggestion, it is hoped to hold severe! of its classes nightly Is your lover sluggis~? Feb. XIX Feb. XX within them under the guidance of New style laundry that guarantees "SEIZURE AND A that Evolution Disproved 101 be made pro J. P. Twearp. Try MARTYR'S LITILE a required course and be placed un- Among other things, emphasis is lose or damage every article. der the jurisdiction of the religion de- LOVER PILLS CLEPTOMANIAC" partment where it will receive no befne placed upon the empirical Eastminster Laundry method of education under the new harsh emphasis. college administration. Plan Transfer Statler Jr., Jaumot III, Cushen Jr., Brooks IV, Anderson Jr., Hershfeld Jr., Schmidt Jr., Rogers and Rogers Jrs., Cohen Jr., Ray Jr., Wo/fsheimer Jr., Holloway III