Page 52 - TheGoldBug1955-56

The Gold Bug, May 15, 1956 - , The Org Of Porg Alpha Kappa A /pha Presents Speakers Orfi~ial 8!udent neWllpaJl"r of Western Maryland Colle,;r~, publi.bed .emi.monthly on On Human Rights Tueoday dudntr October, November, January, February, Ma""h, and Aprll: and monthly A,Once Told Tale during September, D_ber, and May. Ent.""J. Goode SJ)OrUlEditor._._ .....__ Photography_ .. .__.Henriett.a C. Essom coated with vanilla frosting and the cheese. Like most of us, Porg, enjoyed haus, professor in philosophy, defined New.·Feature Editor Exch.nge_ .. __..._ .. ..Lynnd. L. Sk~nner bare trees became starched pubic feeling important. free will as the ability to choose, to New. Edlto ... .. .~~::,~ 1i.~~~~ill Cir.cul.tion. ~ -Porg what one might label a some extent undeterminedly between Co!'y Editor_. _ Adverti.inl!" Man.~er_ ..._c. L. F""oett, Jr. hair. The air was full of hot rod ex- was haust and the clanging of electric record coach. Before a tournament he alternatives. In his opinion, man is a guitars. played this one. "O.K. Gang! I know cause in a future sequence of events- Retrospect Out To Lunch of The heart, and especially the brains, they're bigger and stronger than we a part to of nature and therefore sub- ject conditions. determining her are. I know they have a better all- West- Cai-rollodlan was historic ministerial Abbey. The Abbey was a around team. I know they've beaten However, "I do not take the position The yeaT 1955-56 has been a re- The presence of the Budapest tired, really a taciturn place. It was some real good monasteries her-e- that personality is wholly the result markable one. The long-standing String Quartette at Western Maryland a place where groggy house flies faith- abouts. But if you get out there and of forces hereditary and environmen- fully brushed their teeth after meals, hustle, hustle all the time, and never tal," he said. Freedom, he explained, ~~;e~ ,:~sv!~~;~:~; a:heH~::~O~~~ i:::::et~ t:o::o:t~~~y VO~~gem~:~~ stop, you can lick those guys." has meaning only if in looking ahead where sombre Lionel trains stumbled of America celebrated their first an- of first rate chamber music, but it around tracks of gnawed off finger- After the tournament he turned to there are definite alternatives. True, niver sary ; two buildings were torn seems paradoxical that one cultural nails, and where trim ankles wearily the ftip side. "I've never seen the of- there are such limitations as physical down and college men started in on facility should be closed as the other conducted spelling bees. \ ficiating this bad. Where those guys factors and past decisions, but he the imposing task of tearing down is made available. The reference is to Moreover, it was a noseful of resin learned to referee I dtm't know. Well, stated, "I do not believe in determin- Daniel Macl ea ; a freshman was ar- the rather unfortunate policy of clcs- from a boxing canvas, it was the we had a bad day at that. We weren't ism." In summary Dr. Holthaus em- rested by Dean David for hurling a ing the library' on nights when maudlin and wearisome segments of hitting hard enough. But ,never mind. phasized that freedom is not a dread. Toll of ~aming tiolet paper from a presentations are scheduled in Alumni a Wagnerian opera rolled into a Let's concentrate on the on the next ful responsibility. It does imply re- window.in Albert Norman; Dean Hall. dough ball and flattened out with a one. If we hustle we'll take those sponsibility, but man is not alone for Howery became disgruntled over the It is a difficult thing to justify, ee- rol~ing pin, an asp a~cused of perjury, guY'S." there is a God. "Man's freedom is an odd explosions of firecrackers in the pecially if the stand is that the li- Saint Peter upon contracting tuber- Over a decade, the Abbey, almost occasion for optimism, not for pessi- women's dormitories; the l't1ilitary brarians should have the opportunity culosis. . devoid of pillow jousting talent, had mism and despair." Department moved its quarters; and to go to the concert, or whatever. Students of the coed Abbey were accumulated the humiliating record of The next speaker, Mr. Adkins, be- it snowed, and snowed, and snowed, Likewise, it is unreasonable that the largely products of sheltered, provin- o wins and 368 losses. It didn't really gan by discusaing the term "human." _ and snowed. library should be closed for the pur- cial, bourgeois familie-s. Generally, the matter though. That the program Man is, he said, subject to all the laws Another bumper crop of Western pose of encouraging a crowd into students were not of better-than-aver- existed was the import.fr;t thing. Win- of' nature just as is the atom of dust. Maryland' seniors made the rosters in Alumni Hall. Simply, the complaint is age intellect, imagination, or wit. In- ning is trivial. After all, life is most- Man is not in his final form, he ex Who's Who it~ Al1~erican Collegos and this, and it is a valid one: stead, they were part of a great indis- ly an unending sequence of rebound- plained. "1 as a human represent a UniverBities; Miss Peggy Artigiani As a facility organic to the academ- tinguishable spine, the backbone of ing from defeats. process, not an end." In man's evclu- was crowned May Queen; Bill Tribby ic program of the college, the libr~ry tomor-row's kingdom. They were being About the aiteatlon Pope Eclair tipnary development, he continued, a wrote a very good play which English should be open at;the same hour night- conditioned for snug seats on a great commented, "He is all around us, beg- form of behavior has been specialized professors pronounced "symbolic"; ly, and students so desiring should conveyor belt which led to a sufficient- ging admission into our hearts. And -this behavior is mind. Because mind Howard Hunt saw his life's ambition have the continuing opportunity to ly adjusted social life and to oblivion. what do we do? We keep our hearts is simply a result of evolution, and fulfilled by a commission in the Regu- avail themselves of it. The 'stand that They would enter the smoky padlocked, a vacuum." because man is a part like all others lar Army; somebody redecorated the these times of unscheduled closing arc' factories or the hazy white-collar of- One day, after Westministerial had of nature, he has no .!reedom in the grille with paint originally intended few and far' between is untenable. fices; they would suck the juice from dropped its 369th consecutive joust, a cosmic or philosophical sense. Actual- for usc on the U.S.S. Missouri; some- Faculty members assign work requir adding machines and milk ledgers; weir-d-locking man, awkwardly wad- ly, Mr. Adkins stated, psychology has body else attempted to burn down ing the use of books with rome regu- they would buy on easy payment ing through the disconcerting com- proved that even the concept of self Alumni Hall in order to see if Earp larity, and the task be-comes difficult' terms; they would marry-not neces- placence of the Abbey dressing room, is unnecessary. However, we are not is right, but the project failed when when no books are to be found. The sarily the "right one"-and divorce, approached Porg. He was clad in a to become discouraged. In line with Chuck Smith and the All-American sttuation becomes inbolerabje when the and, somewhere in between, bear chil- well-tailored blue serge suit which evolution it is man's prima.ry func- ushers extinguished the match. books are placed under lock and key, dren; they would buy a house, watch was dotted by patterns of small quar- tion to work out the mind. The un- Somebody still thinks grass will and the holder of the key is listening television, play card'S, and read the ter moons. He could have easily been raveling of the world's mysteries by grow in the middle of the football next door to the tedious sawing of the headlines of the ~venjng papers; they mista15en for a handsome young actor, the aid of the scientific method is the nearest we-can come to what we term field; the Golden Hog left with a musicians. would sti,.ck the dishes in the dish- had he not carried a conspicuous baton "Human Freedom." suggestive His purpose. of musical ftourish, still as golden 8S ever; Larry Ah, Farewell washer and face spring cleaning; they hands were incongruously old and The concluding speaker, Dr. Crain, Hall was,named president of a local would occa-sionally attend Sunday wrinkled and peppermint ftowed p-.;ofessor in religion, discussed free_ political organization with alleged. . • church; they would take vacations in dom in terms of Christian doctrine. communistic affiliations' Joan Lucka-=-- It IS proper here to mentIOn a few the mountains; they would retire; through his sWllllen veins. Christianity and freedom, he said, baugh was crowned pr~sident of the words on behalf of the graduating they would die; and they would be "Orgy-Porgy?", asked the stranger. battle on two fronts: first, against SCA; T. J. Foster took over the helm seniors, who are moving on to divers forgotten. "Yeah", answered Porg indifferent- scientific determinism and naturalism, of the Neat Guys in a solemn investi- pastures two and one-half weeks from Officials of the Abbey, proponents o~ ly. "\Vhere can we talk?" and second, against philosophical ture at The Pit; and, somewhere along today. Where tlley are moving is, of a mildly hara'Ssing split T Christianr- "Well, I dunno. I'm pretty busy. Is idealism. Christianity, in a paradox the line, the minions of Bruce Fergu. course, a difficult thing to pinpoint, ty, economically regulated the- school it important?" of faith, declares man free and not son bounced Hopkins twice in basket. but they all have in common the with Mozartian re<;traint-from un- "Very!", said the stranger with au- free at the same time. This paradox ball, and, the Jays never looked so bad. source of origin-Western Maryland savory food, to a competant teaching thority. is rooted in the doctrines of creation College. Fraternity parties proved a temper_ The college will keep an eye on its staff, 00 a ftat-chested athletie pro- "Well then, what is it you want?", and original sin. The creation doc- ate adventure, much w the delight of gram. Porg asked, leading the stranger to trine, he explained, is an assertion of anxious faculty members; more cam- young minions. If you make a million, The athletic program, in particular, his office. the fact that man stems from God. it will ask you for a neW"dormitory; pus beauties got engaged, and "con- if you succeed in letters it will present officials felt dutibound to conMin. No "I'd like to see Westminsterial win a Man is a part from the rest of crea- gratulations to you" got to be old hat; you with an honorary degree; if you evils of overemphasis denigrated the couple of jousts." tion for God addresses him. His free- the National Symphony Orchestra are killed in action, it will carve academic budget or preoccupied any Porg said nothing. He just gulped dom lies in his "response ability" so tooted away with gusto in February, student from a truer perspective of and, sensing the stranger's assertive- to speak. When man does not respond and everybody was cultivated for an your name on a rock in Harvey Stone his station. As Pope Eclair XXIV, ness, began to think up defensive re- he sins and thus is enslaved. evening; Dr. Whitfield finally admit_ Park; and if you ever come back here in on the top rung of the Abbey heir- torts. fifteen years from now and park ted that sex is here to stay, but con- front of a fire plug, Dean David will archy, put it, "He is standing at the "They're going to, Itoo. They will More Poetry tinues to objeet to it on the steps of give you' a parking ticket. door, knocking. He wants to come in, ,vin from now on until the end of the McDaniel Hall at eight a.pl. in the but we won't let him. He will always season. That's two more tournaments, The follo\ving poem, part of a new morning; and Dr. Russell affirmed If all this sounds facetious, it really be there, knocking at our !loors." I believe." anthology entitled Amet'iea.na, by the once more her conviction that the "UN is but the intent is not. The poillt is, Inserted with the utmost minimiza- "Are you kidding?" Porg asked. eccentric but talented writer, Poochy if there ever is a point in an editorial Plus You" is the only real hope for of this kind, that the college has some· tion, the athletic program (every "No indeed, Daddeo! Take a look at Jones, is reprinted front context here peace; and, at the date of publication, thing of a stake in its graduates, monastery had some sport) consisted this card." for readers who are unfamiliar with when everybody was talking about of, for the girls, intramural Centrifu- "Schmerlinoff, the royal magician! his work, but might be interested in Western Maryland in May, Margaret which--presents an ironic situation in gal Bumble Puppy, and, for the boys, Right hand man to Kink Arturo VIII", owning primitive examples of the the students came to that originally Snader stated that it is nothing com- the college and the college did not a ligtt intermonostery srlhedule of cried the surprised Porg. "But why- mushrooming symbolic-imagist school. I pared to April in Paris._ pillow jousting. er .. sir, bother with something as Copies of the poem, printed in at- come to them. Pillow jousting was not essentially There is an abiding trust some- a complex sport. Two pylow-wielding trivial as this? I mean, what can pil- tractive Olde English and garnished Dr. Wills wherEl, and if this is not a sufficient opponents stood on bunKS at opposite low jousting You call it trivial to see with a wide border of red roses suit- mean to the crown?" may be obtained by able for framing, platitude, "Trivial? we can say that Western Maryland Follows You, or something ends of_a field thirty yards apart, The these students, our <;j.tizcns, the back- writing the Anti~Saloon League, Box bunks h"d rollers and each combatant It does not seem proper to let the of the kind. At any rate, now that the bone of tomorrow's kingdom, grow so 1000, Western Maryland College, last issue of tile GOLD BUG slip by had a second who pushed his bunk Westminster, Maryland. trek is about to end for a without one more word in memory of four-year of the collcge community- to the middle of the field. There, the used to losing that their senses be- The author suggests that the poem come number?", jousters plowed away until one or the segment Schmerlinoff shouted. the late George Stockton Wills, Pro- and hasn't the term "college communi- other was knocked from his props. "Do you think we want a kingdom of be hung over the doorway, next to the fessor of English, Emeritus, who died ty" become a worn out phrase?-there people who don't give a hang whether legend which reads, depending upon last February 27, in any resume of a is the task of making something of Ever mindful of the institution's they're on the top or the bottom. The the religious affiliation of the family year which includes within the pass- economy, Pope Eclair had scanned concerned, either "Exit", or "God ing of a respected and beloved figure, life and winding up in a constructive broken searchlight bulbs, ear-wax next thing you know, the barbarians'll Bless Our Home". one cannot escape the deep feeling of end. This is a friendly and sheltered museums, penny candy counters, and wipe us out." DORBELLOJV neighborhood around here, and even if Scrabble tiles for a suitable loss which comes when one remembers. at times it seems to be a grind and a wornout jou-sting coach, one who had Porg gasped, "But-" Darkly dense depending dearly pillow This is the way it has been for all trial, word from the great outside thoroughly read the Oxford Book of "Besides," Schmerlinoff nudged In the dull denuded room who knew him well, and the stature world is that it all compares roughly Pillow JOluting and who could manage closer, "I'm on a good-will tour in On the draught that did delight a province. of this man seemed to increase as one to nothing. to live by inconspicuously grafting on this hole of of his Majesty's No dOubt And damn the dog so dust diminished you've heard serious came to know him better. This would We who have years and years left road trips to other institutions a por- Dribbling down in little droplets seem to be a measure of greatness, at College Hill don't know if this is tion of the substitute's expense money. illness. He had to cancel a good many Doubting death and for it is strange indeed when intima- true, of course. But if things are as Handsomely, the Pope uncovered a appointments. Unfortunately, he for· Dissipated. cy does not reveal more frailty than bad as they say, our own best wt'!:hes gnarled and ftaky fellow named Orgy- got to cancel a tour of this dump. I've IVhen the barkeep ft'01n the baekbar strength in the make-up of man. But might be in order for the long road- Porgy. never tasted poorer wine or seen Bnuq1.U!ly bounced a broken bottle this was not true in the case of George "long road", another platitude- Porg-he was called Porg for short plainer wenches than ... oh, well. On the bJ'awlil!g bawling b1Un Stockton Wills. ahead. ,...With these unorganized -was, somewhat admirably, a man Anyway, the thing is, it doesn't look Bowled hint bloody from the bistro if, while the good for royal prestige His legacy has been his life, and it thoughts in mind, we say with all who said, to his teams anyway, pretty royal tour is being conducted, you Tn the gu.tte-r where he lay is a contribution which lives on with sincerity, good luck to the Class of much what he thought. Unfortunately, people keep losing. Badly beaten 1956. what he thought was never quite ma_ (CONTINUED ON PAGE 3, COL. 1.) B1tbbling.