Page 53 - TheGoldBug1955-56

The Gold Bug....May 15, 1956 Ed Albaugh Relates Story Of SGA Retrospect Perspective jJ1ythical WestminsterialAbbey Student Government Takes Stock Of (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 2, COL. 5,) from Year's Activities; New Officers Installed "Now looky here, Daddeo. I know and a number of helpful Boy Scouts; how hard it is to win with this kind the penny arcades sliced tires of material. 1 had to get a special putty wheel chairs; the Epsilons took On the Monday night of April 30th, fairs! In an effort to improve this the Athletic Department and pro- magic formula concocted just for tem- soma-holidays; the martinis retched the Student Government had its un- phase of college life, the SGA purchas- cures buses for away football and soc- porary success. But I did ib-c-forrnula on chlorophyll pavements; the Phan- official investure of new officers. Larry ed a $165.00 screen and petitioned cer games when the enthusiasm war- 16. Formula 16'U immunize the Abbey toms turned into iceburg cancers and President Ensor to purchase a projec, rants it. against loss in at least the next two ate away titanic expose magazines! Hall and Joanne Parrish succeeded jousts. All you have to do is call the and the antiseptic burned into gasping the outgoing President and Vice Presi- tion machine for the use of the vari- Interest in ahletics has waned over radio-and television and newspapers. razor nicks. dent, Danny Moylan and Priscilla Me- ous campus o.rganizations. the past several years as the teams Coy. It is very fitting at this time to Tell them you personally predict that Although the outcome of the joust look to the future with optisi-sm for A great deal of the campus social hav!.. in the whole been rather medi- during the remainder of the royal hadn't noticeably affected the Abbey the new Cabinet is already busily en- life transpires within the confines of ocre. A winning football or basket- visit the Abbey'll break its streak of students, exam time was at hand, and the Recreation Room. The SGA felt ball team would do more good for bad luck. Then, sit tight." they were not going to be denied an gaged in planning next fall's activi- the Rec Room was one of the promi- school spirit than any scheme or com: the ties. It is also fitting to reiterate 2. opportunity of impetuosity. The accomplishments of the outgoing nent eye sores on campus so its mem- bination of other factors. Good teams When stumbling westmlntstertal houseflies and Lionel tr-ains staged an Cabinet as it bids farewell. bers proceeded to rather completely are vital! decisively conquered chief rival, intra-dormitory skirmish, engaged in The Student Government's endeav- renovate the place under the direc- The Student Government is faced Syreccusetion Monastery, it not only which were such potentially harmful tion of Jack Turney. The room was each year with the problem of keeping drew the attention of the entire East- weapons as dandruff howitzers and ors this year fall neatly into f~ur ma- pai~ted, the floor was sanded and re- the student body informed about all jor Activities, categories: Social 1) ern Kingdom, but it' jolted the pro- blackhead bombs. Ignoring a stern ad- Intercollegiate Sports Promotion, finished, and bright new light fixtures matters of student interest. Various vince into a state of pandemonium. monition of dispersal by the dean, the 2) 3) Student Information, and 4) .Cam- replaced those antiquated relics that means of communication are used to The headlines of Ye Carrollodian undaunted rioters poured across the previously were there. The room still do this. The SGA desk blotters that Times shrieked, "ABBEY WINS warted Abbey grounds to the trim pus Problems. leaves much to be desired! It is hoped are distributed at the beginning of the The FIRST JOUST IN TEN YEARS"; ankle vessel for an instantly success- of the Central Calendar Committee that the school will devote a little year provide every student with a handles Student Government Gabriel blew reveh'y through a folded ful toe-nail raid. - the scheduling of all Social Evel}ts. more time to the care and cleaning in copy of the College Calendar and the Mad Comic; sado-mascehietic eggs As a result of the previous night's An attempt was made this year to the future. Student abuse is quite ap- fall sports schedules. The minutes of scrambled themselves; tubes of lip- disorder, two students-one a fly, the provide some type of campus activity parent and has accounted for a large t~e SGA meetings are, posted weekly stick gavll birth to Gargoyles on roller other a Lionel train-were expelled part of the run-down condition. on the Main Bulletin Board, which has skates; llamas descended from eye- permanently from Westministerial for every weekend. This goal wasn't The two most colorful occasions of been painted this year by Student balls and strolled arm in arm with Abbey, stuffed into a test tube, and always achieved will because several the the year', Homecoming and May Day, Government representatives. General compete on organizations hamburgers in mink coats; a tall cremated in an atomic furnace. It was more desirable weekends with the con- fou-nd the Student Government busily student assemblies are occasionally totem pole walked back alleys, saying 110t so much that they had instigated participating and directing the efforts called when deemed necessary. Most "Pop Corn, why weepest thou?"; the intra-dorm frolics, nor especially sequence that other weekends pass of the various 'campus organizations. of the SGA publicity has been handled Stukas zoomed from the clouds, drop- that they were the most active pursu- with no organized activity scheduled. The arranging of the parade, the elec- by Judy Corby who has done an ex- Fraternity have parties beep recog- ping red, dripping skunk entrails; ers of dainty toe-nails. It was the dls- nized for the first time this year on tion of the Queens and Attendents, cellent job. beer labels Becchanaled with basket- play of two venomous signs across the regular college Calendar. This the purchase of the floral displays, Matters of extreme student interest ball sneaks; and lumps of sneeze de- their respective marble octopus win- and the arrangement of the entertain- are discussed by outside speakers at bris splattered against umbrellas of dows that are prompted their removal. promotes harmony and allows ALL ment were' all the responsibility of the various times during the year', at a thick pink nipples. One sign, chiseled boldly in caribou social events to be coordinated with SGA. general SGA meeting to which the A jubilant Porg observed, "We won flesh, read, "The Abbey can't win, no one another. A new awards program has been entire school is invited. This year, because we out.hust.led 'em. I always matter how much it hustles." The To fill the void created on many of instituted thi-s year in order to stimu- President Ensor discussed the future said we could do it if we)!. hustle." other, a glowing neon kidney, added, the weekends during the "long winter late an increased interest in athletics building plans of the college with over Admiring citizens of Carrollodian pre- "If we let Him come in, He would be m-onths, an extensive "free movie" and those who participate. At the 150 students at a talk held in Me- sented him with a clock surfboard, a gone." program was sponsored by th$