Page 52 - TheGoldBug1941-42

PAGE TWO The Gold Bug, Western Maryland College, Westminster, Md., February 26, 1942 This Week's. ------------. An Explanation 01 Personality To The Editor: Dear Sir, Monday's Assembly • ----------- • On the Campus When I entered Western Maryland College four Monday's assembly, if it did nothing else, years ago, that institution was recognized as a aroused some comment from the student body as Company "B", and instigator of rather good place of education. to its-purpose. Why should any group bother to this year's Maryland watch, which Today, four years later, in my senior year, I feel prepare and present such a program, which operated so effectively that thc U. of a little ashamed at the thought of the educational neither convinced anyone of any particular view- !II. broke past the guards only twice. and scholastic depths into which W. M. C. has fall- point, nor sought very definitely to sway any As deputy air raid warden, his du- en. Twice since I entered, the requirements for a member of the audience to immediate action? ties arc mainly with the fire fighting passing grade have been lowered so that now a ree- can be ident (one cannot call all of them students) The specific purpose of Monday's assembly was squad and the checking of equipment. two full years behind in his work before the au- to attempt to inspire into our student body a so- As a precaution to others, he offers cial consciousness, which is conspicuously absent the following advice. thorities finally eject him. The Dean's list has been to up opened underclassmen, which condition a from our own and most other college campuses "Keep cool and collected. In the would not be at all bad if those underclassmen were in this country. The assembly sponsored by the event of an actual air raid, if a bomb of the calibre to take advantage of the oppct-tuni- Student Christian Association, placed the respon- drops near (or on) you, be sure un- sibility for such social consciousness as an imme- del' no circumstances to go to pieces", ties afforded by that honor, and not to make flagrant abuses of it. diate outgrowth of Christ's social teachings. The .1\11'. Fi xit As though this were not enough, the faculty (or attempt to make a better world is a corollary of whoever passes these regulations) came up with the his preaching" about the brotherhood of man. Self-appointed as a "Mr. Fixit" for prize last week. After several senior-s have been But there is no need to appeal to morality or the campus in general, one of Thor-n- working feu a year in Honors Work, looking for- religion to inspire a need to help others. It has ton's hobbies is the reporting of brok- ward to the day when they will graduate Cum en doors, windows, etc., to the au- been said that every moral act can be traced to a thorities, and, as such, he claims the Laudo or Summa Cum Laude, a change by which selfish interest. Today, more than ever before, responsibility for the installation of Cum Laude may be conferred without. having because of the imminent unity of society, the the boardwalk running past the ten- looked at an outside text, is announced. This act need to erase social inequality and discrimination nis courts to the new dorm. in itself is a lowering of the college standards, ob- can be placed on a purely egocentric, selfish Thornton Wood In addition, Thornton's other hob, viously; besides it is actually unfair to those of my plane. Society is toe-complex and interdependent hies include his pipe, a home printing class who have been laboring for such an honor to permit any member of it to retire to his ivory Tennessee may have its feudin' shop (job printing, Christmas cards, over a year now. tower. Those who have tried it have been sum- hillbillies, Hollywood its Ned Sparks, etc.) and the loaning of money. I might insert here that I am not taking Honors marily called out of it by .the conscription law. and the Bronx Zoo its polar bears. Among his peeves are cold bacon and Work and that I am eligible for graduation Cltm Communication and transportation are too well- but Western Maryland has something soggy rolls in the dining hall, the Laude under the new regulations. In face of this, developed to permit isolationism. all those other places don't have, temperamental steam in the new I feel that W. M. C. as an educational institution We must permit to each and. every member of something exclusively its own. dorm (in this case, restricted to 'ra- has taken another step backwards and downwards. society every right and privilege which we our- . If visitors to the campus should diators only), a certain professor's Sincerely, selves desire. The golden rule has become today happen at any time to encounter a courses, bulb-snatchers, his i-oom- an imperative. Can we advocate or permit to go medium-sized, smoulder-ing pipe at- mate's habits of repairing radios af- CONCERNED SENIOR. unchallenged racial intolerance or discrimina- tached to a medium-sized young man, ter midnight, and the janitor's ne- tions, just because we are of a majority group? both enveloped in a cloud of smoke, glect of the dust under his bed. Obviously not; there is a "transfer of training". let this be a warning to them. Don't After g-radua tion, he expects to en- We cannot go on persecuting the negro, and let- be afraid-it might bite but it isn't tel' the Quartermaster Corps. ting attitudes of intolerance grow ; and then, dangerous. It's only Thornton wood. .Balti·l\loron when American nationals are not granted equal- • Fuming Personality ity abroad, appeal to our "rights" as foreigners. Thornton's present home is in Bal- The relaxation of the ideal becomes universal. Fuming is the word not only for timore, but at various times in his Our inconsistent policy will boomerang. Aren't his pipe, but for his person'ality as life he has lived in Baltimore, Mar- By Paul Alelyunas various the historic, imperialistic policies of Britain fre- well. According to Popocatap'etl friends tinsburg, West Virginia, and Wash- "The world is round, but all crooked!" Addressing the ington, D. C. has and acquaintances, quently raised as a justification for present imi- nothing on Thornton, because explo- If you're not one of those precise Squire was his intimate friend and classmate, a small tations of this policy by other nations? True- sions are to be expected at any time. people who figure everything mathe- paunchy little Semite known throughout the Dock Street retaliation is wrong; but the farseeing, selfish as When not engaged in acquiring a mati eally, you can find out the exact .fish market in Philly as the Bishop. "Let me tell you," they may be, will consistently advocate and fol- history major, his campus activities order of his previous residences at the Bishop began, swinging a mackerel menacingly low the ideal-so that his ideals may take root for the past four years have included anytime rrom T. 1'11. himself. Just through tbe air. "Let me tell you, Squire, watch your and eventually benefit him. debating, membership on the Gold look fOi' a pipeful of Brigg's tobacco step. You don't know who's gonna gyp you next." Vividly and realistically were displayed (in the Bug staff, platoon commander of -Thornton is usually behind it. "Let me tell you about Morris Goldstein. Me and Mer- assembly) the reasons for the wrecking of the ris Goldstein, we was raised together. That dog! I get First Peace Conference. The shor-t-sighted self- mad every time I think of it. We was buddies. When t. centeredness of each representation could not hut Winter Dating Problem Neatly we was kids, we used to play 'Usury, usury, I'm the result as it did. And the ideal of love was pre- king of the pawn shop' together." sented as the only practical alternative. Solved By Model-A And Pliers History, if it has proved nothing else to us .Bishop Can't Go On (and, looking about, it certainly seems that it has By Thelma Morris "I can't go on. That Morris Goldstein! How can I taught us little) has demonstrated the futility of talk of happy times when I'm speaking about that gonoff. short-sighted selfishness-it always gets you in Gals, you don't have to :wait for To indicate that you are present, (Translation: thief) that dog!" the end. It has shown us that Christ's ideals are spring to turn your "young man's put the pliers that are on the seat, on The Squire, sensing the Bishop was off on another of not only something to strive for; they are the fancy to thoughts of love". Dan Cu- the running board on the street side. his tirades, interposed: "Now, Bishop, calm down. Let's only ultimate practical method of achieving a pid is getting a boost these chill win- Then you won't be rudely Interrupt- not get excited. You know the old saying: better world. try days in the form of a rejuvenated' ed, Beat your girl, kick your dog in the head, Every youth, every student, every person to- Model A owned and operated by Fred May I ask your cooperation in not But don't get excited, or soon you'll be dead." day need review these ideals and begin putting Holloway, Jr. fooling with lights, horn, switches. But the Bishop was not to be calmed with such words them into practice. Another peace conference is .Sign Appearing For other information see of wisdom. It called for something stronger. As he be- coming. Not to get to heaven necessarily, but to For the past few weeks there has Fred G. Holloway, Jr., ' gan his rage anew, with a bombast of South Philadelphia prevent another catastrophe in which our chil- been affixed to this unpretentious ve- To Fred Holloway, in recognition rhetoric, the mackerel came down on the counter and dren, or their children, will have to suffer, we hicle, an equally unpretentious-look. of this outstanding example of un- bursted into a thousand pieces. This material loss of one must see to it that that conference is based on selfish devotion to the interests of the saleable mackerel, especially since it was at his own and he calmly con- these ideals. ~:~n S~g~~u~~ ~;n!e:c~ ~fo::~:~ ~~~ student body of WMC by thus plac- hands, sobered the enraged Bishop; For such was the ef· ing at its disposal this fine specimen tinued his story in a near-stupor. amusement o~ the Hili. ,~ou~tless "hot off the Ford Company's assam- feet of great sorrow 011 our tradesman. e~e~ .. 1ar document-some of you may have bly In the interests and admiration. our .In "I was in business with Morris, a partnership, a little many of you have perused thia smgu- line," we wish to express Business Partnership deepest gratitude already availed yourselves of the op- of public safety, In the latter portunity it presents. to add ... 4C'--.,I/~ case, obviously nothing more need be however, we feel it necessary DON'T shirt factory in New York. We were making money. In fact, we had some three thousand dollars in the coffee pot a word caution: of final For those who are yet ignorant said. .1 Need You. of this matter, we hereby reproduce RUSH. A geneFal stampede in this in the back room. Then one night, December 16, 1937, That's not direction could not but have dire re- to be exactly, he took the money and skidooed. the sign attached to the car door, al- A G-Burg columnist, who is evidently a devotee though it is our belief that to be fully sults - embarrassing anyway. This enough; he leaves me a little note: 'Merry Christmas, of Downbeat magazine, informs us that Orrin appreciated it should be read in the vehicle is usually conveniently park- lantsman.' Still that's not enough; he steals my Rosie: Tucker, Eddie Duchin, and Artie Shaw all have l·A original: ed in front of Alumni Hall--easily Rosie, Rosie, classifications, and so are expecting to be fitted out accessible from both McDaniel and She was sweet like a posie. in O.D. at any time. HEAVY DATERS, ATTENTION Blanche Ward Halls. That, thinks Morris, is still not the right way to treat a If at any time you care to sit in You are cordially welcome, and friend. If he stopped there, I might forgive him. But .Hale So Early the car because of inclement weather, there's no cover charge - but don't the last thing he did to me his buddy could never be De Pauw University boasted of a physical fitness or for other reasons, you may do so. forget the pliers. forgotten. He stole my coat to my two pair pants suit! r class which met at 6 :45 A. M. Since the inaugura- That was my pal Morris." t.ion of daylight saving time, however, those ambi- tious persons go to a class actually at 5:451 Surely ."Sad Story, Indeed" if the class includes any outdoor activity, cutting it THE GOLD BUG "A sad story, indeed", commented the Squire. But the would be a matter of no trouble at all-that is un- resilience of the Bishop was remarkable, his sorrow was newspaper c~neg", Official student less the prof shines a spotlight around as he calls tbe Rcademic year ucepting the of "\Vul<:rn Maryland per,od.: pub~isbed e"ery Th,:,rsday during forgotten, and the Bishop stood before the Squire again and Spr>ng V.cation. followin!\, hotiday ChrIstmas the roll. , Entered 8. second class matter at "\Vestn:unster Pos~ Office. under the Act of March 3, 1879. as the efficient bourgeousie businessman. Subscription Price $2.00 a Year "How much of this cod did you want, Squire, twenty· .Competition four pounds?" queried the Bishop. On campusses where there exists both a college ~~:~Ii~~chidft~·;-·:...... __ ::::.:::::::::::.Ili!fn ~i.R~!f~:!~ '''That's right", returned the Squire, "twenty·four paper and a humor magazine, the two frequently Acting News Editor._.... . Carolyn Schmidt '43 pounds." seem to be at odds. An article in THE RED AND Assistant News Editor. .. Mary Miller '43 BLACK of Washington and Jefferson (our rivals Feature Editor Eleanor Healy '43 "Seven fifty-five, that'll come to. Take care of your· of last week, you remember), was reviewing the Acting Sports Editor_ Nelson Wolfsheimer '44 self, my huddy. Remember what I'm telling you." The Assistant Sports Editor Joe Workman '43 And as a conclusjon to its caustic remarks 1~~~~:ij:I~~i~';~;~;:~.~5.vi~g,~,~;:7.~::~:;i~~i~iI;,i~tu newest issue of the college magazine. As to the Squire paid his little friend, bid him a fond farewell, and stories-"they are as lousy as usual"; of the ar- dashed home to his own little emporium. ticles it was grudgingly said "we guess they're Then an evil thought began to play in the mind of the right." Squire. "I didn't see the Bishop weigh this fish. May· the article declared that "the editor put it out by Bell '45, Carolyn Gable '43, Mary Spaulding '45, Anne Barrow '45, Richard be--I'll just weigh it myself," And the Squire did so. himself, and he could use a little help!" Poor edi- Patten '44, Reece Scott '44, Arlie Mansberger '44, Clarence McWilliams '43, His eyes watched the marker on the scale: "That dirty tor-we wonder if he's brave enough to venture Janet Baugher '45, Virginia Sweeney '42, Ann M, Rice '45, Mary Virginia dog! Twenty-three and three quarter pounds, the outside his own room? Webb '45, Delol'is V. Hartke '45, Agnes Dyson '44, Thelma Morris '44, gonoff!" And then the Squire sadly voiced his newly Connie Harris '45, Jeanne Williams '45, Ken Grove '42, Carolyn Weant '45, Helen Stoner '45, Jane Miles '45, Ruth Sartorio '43, learned truth; "The world is round, but all crooked!"