Page 58 - TheGoldBug1927-28

Page Two The Gold Bug, Western Maryland College, Westminster, Md. :-: :-: 3Ittter-(!lollegiatl' Offieial newspaper of Western Maryland Oollege, p11bliehedon Thursday dlU'ing NeWll All Wou j},jike 3It 1I, 1bI_U_W_O_f_ ____.! the academic year by the atudente o;l Western Maryland Oollf\g'e,Weatmineter, Maryland. Entered 11! aecond·clan matter at the Westminster POBtoffiee. The President and Faeulty of Poed- Listen and you shall bear! For this GLEANED FROM BAKER CHAPEL Subscription Price, $2.00 a Year. ham University nnncunce that the Uni is not the usual "absent-minded prbfea- HYMNALSI veralty has planned to eonduet the eor" story. It is a tale of very modern MANAGING STAFF Sehool of Irish Studies, whieh was time. M.-I bet it is hard for a ;lat peraon The story eizclea around a tiny town, Editor-in-Chief ... . J. Paul Lambertson, '28 founded November 8, 1925, by two which disdains being outdone by its - to take a bath. B.-Whyt noted gentlemen. Ma.na.ging Editor .. · Hubert IL Johnson, '28 The object of having this school is large and nolay rival, some thirty milel M.-When they get in tbe tub, all Asst. Mana.ging Editor. · Samuel H. Bryant, '28 to stimulate among the students an in- away. While this town cannot have the ,!"ater runs ont. in Ireland's many wide streets, it is aatisfied in cultural terest heritage. Business Manager .... .. Earl B. Lippy, '29 Another purpose of the aehuol will be having one long, strange one, on either Ass't Business Manager .. ...... W. B. Sanders, Jr., '30 the stimulation of reaeateh and creeuve side of which range stores filled with This book is one thing, My f(lod is another; work, and this will require the estab· In the selection of a artieles galore. Advertising Manager . ... Marvin B. Sterling, '30 liabment of a library of works on early name, this town is not to be outdone. Beware of one for Circulation Mana.ger .. · W. Edwin Warfield, '29 Irish hhtory and other source books. So it adopted one, famous in history; a Fear of the other. __{ROY L. Robertson, '29 name which emacka 'of the bones of Asst. Circulation Managers. kings, queens, and aucb like. The name J. A. Stach, '30 as you may have guessed, is Westmin· Campaign The Nov. 6. Attended ehapel and eom- Semi-Annual Art Editor ..... ..... "Pete" Gomsak, '30 Bridgewater College, va., is nearing its at eter. posed the following parody . Sports Editor . . .Clarence H. Bennett, '28 $125,000mark with several prospeetive To still greater heights did the town The duck is a heavy set, underslung eontributions of large amounts pending. attain when it founded a college to bird, ecmpoaed mostly of meat, bill, and REPORTORIAL STAFF It is almost certain that part of the which flocked the pursuers of know- feathers. His head rests on one end News Editors gerui-Oentenntal building progra.m will ledge,.eager for tho prizes of learning. and he sets on the other. Dorothy L. Gilligan, '28 W. K. Bamee, '28 be carried out this spring. There are Thereunto carne a prcfeeaor, and he There Ain't no between to his tees. many nrgent needs, the most important was wondrous wise. He had even visit· He carries a toy balloon in his stomach Assooia.te Editon of which are more dining and dormt- Ruth French, '28 Alvin Albright, '28 tory space for both men and women, ed the other Westminster. He had re- to keep him from sinking. the good eently "married a wi!e"-as The duck bas two legs and they are Evelyn E. Pusey, '28 Oscar L. Morris, '29 more room for biology and phyaiea, and people say. But sometdmea she was placed ao far baek on his running gear Elizabeth H. Davis, '28 "Jap" \Veisbeck, 30 more room for library apaee. called away, and in her absence he en· that they come darn near missing llis REPORTERS gaged in R very queer kind of diet. So body entirely. 11. Gertrude Ranck, '28 Eugene C. Woodward, '28 very generons was this professor that Some dueks when they grow up are Dorothy Mellott, '28 Curvin M. Seitz, '29 There appearcd reeently in the stu· he aaked a fellow professor to come called drakes. Drakes don't set or N. 11. Penn ewell, '31 Casper P. Hart, '29 dent daily newspaper of Dartmoutb a and stay with him during his wife'a abo hatch, just loaf, eat, and go swimming. Elsie ]H. Held, '28 George E. Salter, '29 series of articles taken from the rell' sence. One night they hail. acme bam· If I had to be a duek I'd rather be a lUargaret Mnrtignoni, '29 Joseph L. Mathias, Jr., '29 ults of a quelltionnaire given to 500 up· burg steal<, wbile seemed to tbem de· drake every time. 1I1ary A. Walzl, '29 Wilmer V. Bell, '30 par eJassmen, aaldng their impressions dicedly laeking in flavor. Ducks don't give milk but eggs, bnt Catherine E. Read, '30 W. G. Eaton, '30 and opinions of the conrses they are "Let us," said the entertaining pro· as for me give me hocrty or give me Virginia C. ::Herrill, '30 Williflffi n. Brown, '30 taking. The form of the questionnaire feSlIOr,"add that most despised memo death. was rather personal because it asked ber of the vegetable kingdom." Originator-C. P. H. for impressions of professors and their The other professor was nothing Worthy opinion; Model management~· Correct news. capabilities. loathe and the lowly onion was fortn' Ceneon J. K., A. 0.-'29. witII cooked and added. "Strange," said the profeS8(1raas they Did.you ever see a meadow lark that IE-D-I-T-O-R-I-A-L! Interesting relies of bygone days ate. "Strange!' And then added again bad a double chin, were uneovered during tbe rccent mov, ratber uncertainly, "Strange!" ing of bO(lksfrom Riel! Hall to the new The visiting professor added weakly OUR HONOR A MYTH AND A MORAL Olin Memoriallibrll.ry of Wesleyan Uni· and politeJy ''But good." And in a des· venity. Many persoflal belongings of He who steals my money, steals trash, After henring several professors statd Ages aud ages ago, when the world perate effert to convinee himself said But he wno steals my good name that there was evidenee of elleaUng in was a eompletely happy plaee, a nagh· Wilbur Fiske, first president of the ulli· more decidedly "Yes, good1" B£eals everything: whieb neitner the past e3:aminationa, and after listen· ty little girl flamed Pandora eould not versity were found in the' upper regions The professors wife returned. One Enriehes him, but leaves me poor ing to the aeeounts of reliable students restrain her enriosity as to the eon· of the old building, which has served as day she said to her husband, "You kIlOW Indeed the library since 1868. An old foot· who saw numerous violatiollil of t.ho tentH of a. eertain mysterious box that warmer of Dr. Fiske's is reminiscent of my narcissus bulbs have disappeared'" But he who ateala my girl-Oil Boy! honor system, we b!lve eome to the eon' she had Men forbidden to toueh. With the days when the heat.ing problem was And thel\ added playfnlly, "I bet you elusion that the problem of eheating diffienlty, she untied the rope that more acute than at present. 'l'wo lea.ther ate them!" must be faeed and ~ettled for good. bound the box. She liftell tho lid and "I did," was all tIle professor was Two Scotchmen were in a high build· Obviously, (IS we have heard out flew a swarm of venomous animals, fire bnekets wcre nlso uncovered. able to add. ing looking for the door to the stair· remarked reeently, one of two things call~d 'l'roubles. They flew about IIting· way. Sandy came to the elevator door lllust be done. Either Ole old system ing everybody and causing great dis· whieh was open and stepped inside.. in which tIle professors were required comfort and paiu. There scemed to be His friend heard him thud on the bot· to ~tay in the rooma must be restored, no CUrBfor these stings, 'until they Voltaire says: "Marriage maketh a tom and called down: or clse we, the students, must rcport hea.rd a little voiee erying from the bo::!:. lIodll Nelllll mao wise!' It may be tllBt narcissus "Sandy did you find the stairway!' any vioJ~!.iOliSof the honor system that Again they lifted the lid, and out flew bulbs euter in. At any ru.te, narcissus Sandy answered, "Yes, but be eare· a little fairy figure with rainbow·tint· t.ime should be e:xtra interesting this ful of the tint step) its a whopper!' Under IIOmecircnmstonees wc should cd winge. "My name ill Hope," she told Sinee the communistie CQ11pd'eta.t year. advocate thllt thc honor system be eon· the suffering people, and then sbekissed about six weeks ago whercby the radio tinned, but \\'0 do not believe tllat at all the stings and mll.(iethem wcll. cals gained control of Oanton for a She: Pae tired, 1'se weary, t.hc present time there are enough stu· Raee eharaeteristies die hard. Today, few days at !,becoat of 5,000 lives, over FalllOUS in history is :Marie An· Pick I up and kis9 I dearie. dents who would be willing to face tile at certain intervals, the deseendants of 2,000 tHrests havo been made by the tionelto, who, when she was told tlla!. He: Familiarity breeds eontempt. sneera of lhose. who objec.t to reporti.llg Pandora, whoso lot it is to be onr in· government witli 2iO resulting in e:xo· lbe mob wus crying for ul"cfld,plaintive· dOll't they eat cake'" cases of cheating. \Ve fll.vor, hence, a atruetors, are seized with somo of tlleir cutions, in an endeavor to round·up the lr asked, "",VlIy return to the old system. In the mean· grandmother Pandora's euriosity as to Commuflists. Famous alsO-:-in history-is a young time we allall give our support to /luy how we would react to a few stings. professor, who, when his wife was awa.y Young people who read this many moves tending to malICthe repo!"tingof They open 11. box of partieularly veno· invited another young profeasor to be years from April 18, 1920, rememher a cheat a stern duty. mous Troubles known as exams, but General discords, rioting, and strikes assistant eook and dinner guest, Every· that others have suffered besides thee. thing went off beautifully. The onions frequently ca)led a numher of other followed the arrival of the Session Mis· that they cooked with the steak did not A PROFITABLE PURSUIT names. There are six spe<'.ies,the F be· sion in India. The chief cause of the even make the cook's eyes smart. The I alll here because I am herel If I ing the mO$t,deadly and the A and the. distnrbanee was tllc fact that there are assistant cook noted tha.t faet, and the were not here I wonld be therel And if It's:t rather sad state of affairs when B comparatively harmlesa..All ilL"kinds, no natives on the commission. Tho eiti· tlloughtoecurred to nWl to go across the I were there I would not be herel Selahl college and univer$ity students are com' poisonous and harmless, cause a serious zells of India took offenso at this asper· .hall to the biology Jab, some day, and pelled to enlist the seJviees of more nerve eOlldition simply by appearing. sion on their ability to go\'crn them· enlighten the biology profa about tllis You are youl I am II If you were I, giftetl-at least more glib-fellow stu· selves. new eharaeteristie (If the well·known I would be you and not I. If I were dents in their correspondence. Three There is still Hope, llowever, to kiss onion; bnt in his keon enjoyment of the you, yon would be I and not you. There· girls at Northwestern University report the stings and make them well. She is exeellenUy prepared meal, he forgot all fore you are you a.nd I am I and we are we and not us. Amen. which 'I'll" )[ndl"id cdiut compells profitable ineomcs from professieilal no longer a fairy with raiflbow tinted workers csrning $1.70 daily to pay 3l1.! about it. (This senteflce should be pre· letter· writing. Their paramount epis· wings. We see her now in the form of ceded by the word "probably"). tolary achievements have been in elicit· lengthBlling days, that promise UB per cent on incomes has aroused tIle ing tlle almighty dollars from parents, spring on College Hill, ill tue comfort· OataJaus to a general strike. As yet A few da)'s later, the profcssor's This time ned week I'll be in Borne· fond n.nd otherwise. Their charges for ing thongllt that exams won't be lot out there has been no violence. wife returned, and the professor proud' one'sarmBl 1y told her about the dinner party. Witb snell feats is 10 per eent of the ensh again uutiI June, or maybe in a K. O. colleeted from tne divers and Bundry B. that tells us our strike still lovcs t,rue wi.fely curionaity she asked, Allah be praised for tlle variation! fMhers. Buttha.tisincidentaL us.-Chcer up! 'l'!Ja peace treaty, wit Ii ll'rance, that "Where did you get the onionst" was signed on February 6, renewed the Even mero than the surprising incap· "Oh, we found them 11ere," he an· aeity ef the younger generation, is te pledge of friendship given 150 ye3."I's swered the profeasor, reassnringly. This list of strikes is subjeet to be bewailed the pitifully superfieial ac INTER-COLLEGIATE NEWS ago. There is an anti·war clause in Hut there wereu't any here when I change with(lut notiee. qU(lintanco of parents and ehiJdren.. the pad, but no reference to the much len," she wont on, ill puzzled tones. That a father should fail to (Ustinguiah Thirty two thousand graduates of discussed paet to out·law war between 1'!ieJl ligllt dawned. "Goodness, my between th(lletter of llis child and that Yale University have bcen invited to tlle two nations, which was proposed by d('ar," sheexclailllcd. "You've oaten my Girls not htlre yet. Seniors lead to· of a total stranger is almost as ama;r;· attend tne 15th annual alumni univer· M. Briand last June. The Signing of narcissus bulbsl" ing a~ tno fact that embaraued stu- sity day at New Haven on February 22, this treaty might be eal1ed the anni· flight. I wonder if I have gotten baek dents need to restort to sueh means to versary of the first official recognition nere the story Should end, but we too far. The gills are in and I am O. solicit peenniary aid. when a program outlining the eurrent of America, whieh took plaee when must go tack to the beginning. The K. about the un..fortnnate :Marie An· developments in the institutiou will bil Personal letters, Il'e are told, indi Fraflce promised to assist fhe new eoun· ia one that the professor seems cate very e1early one's individuality. g-iven. 'l'he President • .TamC'sRowland try in ita struggle for fr('rdolll from to I)c [(Iud of telling. We suggest that T. W. MATHER & SONS "English r111ein1778. will di81'.llsSthe conditions pre· What must we tllink of college stud.ents, i\ng('lI, ill his ne"t account of it he saerifice then, whoso paronts react similarly to vailing at the University. The topie a little of the hiatorie and the tradi fllia.l and professional corre~pondcneef for the luncheon meeting will be under· tioua] for the I18.keof the dramatic. Westminster's Leading Store Perhaps that isn't the point; perha.ps gradnate aifai?s, whieh will be eondnct· Officials at Washington will not be Consider 110Wextremely realistie he the typical college letter subordinates ed by John M. Kates, direc.tor of ath· greatly surprised if Italy and France coul(1make it aound if he would have from the withdraw 1922 limitations intlividnality t{l tl1etypical monetary plell. letics, snd Artnur Clendenin Robertson, the queen's companion aay, "The peo· At least, we congratulate those capa· of Cambridge, Mass., ehalrman of the paet, for Admiral Jones, while making pie are erying. They want onions for ble and versatile individualll who have studentconneil. a etrong plea for an increase in the their steak."-and with what great ARMY SHOES converted letter·",-riting into II. paying U. 8. mercn!lnt marme fleet, stated that force he could have the queen answer, and well·established profession in our Mrjain nations would take action in "Why don't they eat nareinus bulbs'" The shoes authorized for the R, 0. T. C. institution! of higher learning. ADVERTISE IN THE GOLD BUG 1934 to renounce the treaty.