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my feelings and figure out whether or not I feel the same way
as this person feels about me.

And really… it’s not even just that.

I don’t really like being hugged, unless the hugger is
someone I trust and know or when I’m wearing thick layers of
clothing. Then hugging is probably going to be alright with
me. But if not, then please keep away.

I don’t like being touched.
It makes me feel uncomfortable.
It makes me remember things I don’t want to remember.
Or talk about for that matter.

I am, however, worried that even after I sculpt myself into
being the guy that I’ve always wanted to be:

Healthy.
Good looking.
Successful.
Levelheaded.

And finally be able to get the girls that I actually like, I’ll
still be like this.

Knowing myself, I’m sure that my fears and doubts will
help me find another excuse to be alone.

And I really don’t want to be alone anymore.
I don’t mind feeling sad.
But I don’t like being alone.
Sometimes I do.
But I feel like I’ve done that for too long.
I want to change. Even for a bit.
But I’m kind of scared.
I want to get over this.
But I don’t know how.

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