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a. If you don’t think it is—shoot me an email at
delinquencypunch@gmail.com or look me up
and add me on Facebook.

b. Remember to send me a headshot if you’re
contacting me via email.

c. As well as a resume and recommendation
letters from one of your exes, your bestie, and
your mom. I want to know if we’re compatible.

d. A note from your doctor validating your
genitals’ cleanliness would be amazing as well.

e. A list of your sexual kinks and interests
wouldn’t hurt either. Best that we know that
we’re going to like each other before we
actually start talking.

f. Also, please give a date and time for an
interview so I can schedule a meeting with
you.

Uh… where was I?
Oh right!

Seriously what’s wrong with me?
I ain’t no prize, but it’s not like girls haven’t been
interested in me in the past before. I’ve had some
opportunities to “seal deals” and “get laid” and “get blown,”
but there’s just always something stopping me.

And I’m not even sure what it is.

Actually that’s a lie I know exactly what it is.
Most of the time I just don’t like the girls that are
interested in me. It’s not that I think I’m better than them.

Even though I am.
It’s just that I can’t see myself being with them. I like to
assume that I’m not that much of an animal and so I try to not
always just think with my dick first. I do pussy-shit like search

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