Page 93 - Phoenix2002-03

• COMMENTARY Wednesday, February 19,2003 - Page 5 Parking remains a campuswide concern to all drivers Ever notice how the parking field. are simply out of options. ing out an exces- situation seems to worsen year af- I am one of the many who de- It's a shame that we are all sive amount of ter year, yet the number of permits part day after day with muddy tires, trapped on-campus every week, given out increases, along with in- literally leaving my track marks Monday through Friday, between creasing first-year enrollment? behind on what the school prides the hours of 8 a.m. and 4 p.m., or Perhaps this is due in part to the hself npon being such a well-main- as I like to call it, "prime time." number of freshman claiming to tained campus facility. Apparently This is when you can count on have emergency situations or part- muddy chunks of beaten up grass commuter students and faculty to lime jobs that require the use of a fall into the category of beautiful be in full attendance, creating com- car when traveling off-campus. surroundings. petition for the room and board Yet, the freshman are not [Q blame Okay, so the other option is to paying residents. for the school's undaunting need to "create" a parking spot of your own I sympathize with commuter stu- boost first-year enrollment in order by sliding alongside a row of cars, dents, as well, since they are allot- to put McDaniel College on the half in the grass, half on the pave- ted a significantly less convenient map. ment. and less abundant amount of spaces Why not take advantage of the Or you can turn the diagonal on-campus. Gee, at least faculty naOvetE behind handing parking lines facing the staircases into a can park wherever they want to. permits out like candy, despite the spot as well. As usual, it pays to be one of mitigating factor that there are sig- Just be prepared, frustrated the employed. nificantly less spaces than there are drivers, because Campus Safety, Once again, it is neither the fault driving students? always on the prowl, will be only of the faculty, nor the staff, nor the Currently, the parking ordeal too quick to slip that yellow ticket commuter or resident students for has become so absurd that resident under your windshield wiper when the continuous lack of parking year and commuter students alike have you're not looking. after year, day after day. resigned themselves to parking Of course, they are just follow- Moreover, it is the school's gen- along the grass behind the football ing policy and regulation. And we eral lack of consideration in hand- No Rouzer repairs, trash heaps discourage prospectives Well, just in case, You thought done within a matter of hours? keep the stuff that's broken the way home. And while we are mentioning everything's fine around campus Thanks to whoever analyzed it it is, because we just won't let go Nevertheless, this new style of the transfers, Ireally don't want to and they have it all fixed for our apart, the joint looked like a real of the pest." Well, we're honored art, called junk-yard art-deco, is gel into this, but T guess you will general satisfaction, and Dan-the- dumpster with that pretty little tem- in the name of all Western Mary- quickly gaining on popularity, beueve me anyway, if I say, that I Man is finally going [Q put his pen porary rail enabling the smoking land College students. etc.". Was that what we were look- do have my opinion about the two to rest, here's a Happy New Year community of Rouzer to donate But just how exactly do we ex- ing for? 'Cause if not, then why strips instead of a single one, and to You all, with a new "Hi". themselves to their favorite past- pect to attract interest, if while didn't somebody do a damned it's not one bit rosier than the opin- And here Iam too, letting You time, while taking up an observa- striding along in the Land of Un- thing about that railing months ago ion about Physical Plant's accom- know, that it's, in fact, not over, tional position of Rouzer Lounge's spoken Beauty, McDaniel County, when it happened? plishments throughout the last se- Dan still hasn't retired his jersey endless and interminable activities. the unexpecting visitor suddenly Well, it's fixed now, no use mester (given, that this also gets the (00 for versatilely vulgar language But somehow (and maybe it's bumps into a huge pile of trash? Or complaining. I only thought that benefit of the doubt, that some- ), and he is still on DefCon 4 with just me being too artistically in- is this part of the new image? The the speed of things happening where, somehow it might make his computer-slave booted for his clined here) that wooden rail just "honesty trip", with the tour-guides around here is somewhat, well... ri- sense in a weird kind of way after desires (with enough memory be- didn't match the rest of the neo-re- being instructed to say from here diculous. It's like George W. on ail). sides the gigabytes of music, mov- naissance style of the Castle von on: "And this, ladies and gentle- downers. If Iwere to make a movie And I know this really is a ies and porn) to record all the ri- Rouzer. Now. personally, I didn't men, is yet another face of about the relationship between backstabbing, mean and clandes- diculous, petty stuff that Western care about the "landscape after McDaniel College. On our small Physical Plant and the students, I tine question, but if they already McDaniel College is unable to fix! battle" in front ofthejoim at least but convenient campus, one can re- would title it "The Slow and the moved that pile-of-shit of a ma- able to screw up. the truth was (literally) out: it ally feel home, whatever social Furious". chine (which was and still IS mal- What I have for you today is looked on the outside just like the background he may arri ve But compared to the next one, functioning more, than it is weU- short and sweet like a quarter of a bad place that it is on the inside from. this was a trifle. Because running functioning), why didn't they relo- candy cane. (mad props 10 the architect yet A whole city of modem urban my second lap, I would like to cate it into a 24-hour access area? It's actually two things, but not again). America is represented with all its know who was that person, who Like next to the ATM in Decker, even both add up to one satisfac- Bur every time I passed it, J faces and elements: we have fast- masterminded the idea of moving or in the direct neighborhood of tory ranting. In fact, Iget more of couldn't help but wonder how long food restaurants poisoning your the card-thingie from Decker into Campus Safety? a lick out of seeing that ''Legalize it was going to stay like that for children with unhealthy nutrition the Pub (if 1 know you, I'm sorry, These places have proven to be freedom" T-shirt, than from what months, not even the rail has been that also tastes like crap, over- it is a marvelous idea, more power, rather safe so far, so I can't imag- follows. Then again, why am Ide- removed. expensive stores where you get and I was just about to prepare your ine a reason against them! moralizing what hasn't even been And that, ladies and gentleman, ripped off just like at Dolce & nomination for the Nobel peace- Or (even though I know I am socialized yet, right? Ithought, was stupid! Because it's Gabbana, over-life-size bureau- prize)? I mean: WHY??? What's seriously pushing it with this) why Anyway, this first one is sent not just Rouzer-rats and other in- cracy that will prepare your sons the point? Why is it in a better place didn't they put up a coupJeof other straight out to Physical Pl~nt. habiting species who get to see the and daughters for the real life in an now than it was before'? Because ones around the campus (a rather Working for Residence Life, results of a private aggression- asylum, and here you can see the as much as I'm trying to think of student-friendly investment that therapy (we are the ones probably official projects of McDaniel City. at least some semi-decent reason, among a thousand other benefits, could have also provides me with some insig~t caring the least actually). This is the correctional. .. I I simply blank out. Correction, I been after so much money was But what about the glorious fu- mean, housing facility. where you don't. I do actually think that now into what needed to be handled In spent on the name-change)? terms of repairing around the cam- ture, this college is trying to look will have to slick your dearest one it is an even worse place than it was And now for the real deal: when pus and living in a residence hall forward to'? Isn't that why we upon arrival. before. are they moving the shit back? Be- provides me with the unique expe- changed our name? He/shelit will spend Because previously, as long as cause I want to do laundry ... from rience of seeing what of those ac- So that we can attract more tal- the first couple of months in this Decker was open, one had access my thin strip ... at Z o'clock in the tually gets done. ent and future potential to the place "boot camp"-Iager, where people to the machine. morning ... or 6. Or more appropriately, what (thanks in the name of all those are conditioned to circumstances By moving it into a spot, which But as a substitute You can also does not get.done. I have no inten- who have to realize that they are that would rule America in case of has a more restricted access in its give me a heads-up: which one is not special. Sorry kids, Your par- an atomic disaster. The motto is: if schedule than Decker does, Ijust tions to engage in a pen-war, but cheaper to fix after excessive dam- ents were wrong!)? something gets messed up here, it fail to see who has actually ben- the fact that it took a whole semes- age: the Pub-door or the card-ac- With stunning visuals like that? I'm will not be ... efitted. The 15 yard-walk, if one ter for Rouzer 318 [0 have its blinds Hold on, I'm sorry, but the term ceptor in the laundry room? fix.ed might be considered inappro- sure many people finally put their "fixed" does not exist in the local wanted to put money on his card 'Cause I know a couple guys priate by some spoiled brats used- votes down by McDaniel after they for purposes of feeding his burger- just too eager to help out for a six- saw Rouzer ... or not.; lingo. hungry bun at 12 midnight, was at pack. to a somewhat faster service. Or was this the new politics of It needed to happen first before least pre-burning one's about-to- But room 318 is closed-doors Yours truth-, respecr-, and mer- the administration towards the stu- it can have a name attached to it. be-gained love-handles (besides, cifully: territory. What I would be more But you know what? This might one can pay cash in the Pub). interested in is what took so dents? "We only, changed the be the ghetto, but when the darn kid As for how does it make trans- damned long about fixing the en- name, we are very much conserva- -Dan Hamvas is a senior tive otherwise. gets out of here, he will know to ferring money easier? trance of Rouzer, given that a Here you can see, that we even appreciate how good he had it at I don't know! communication major. couple weeks ago it finally got