Page 42 - TheGoldBug1953-54

2 The Gold Bug. March 23. 1954 ~--------REI!ORT ONTHEDORMITORIES-NO.3----------, Theorist Investigates Eating Habits' McDaniel~sWindows--Open WhenClosed Correlation With, Learning Curve by Carol Coleman. im~rovement, merely by keeping the ~the windows! Last week an article about a young gentleman who had "slept his way" I eOLD Bue Ne .... Editor place clean. Every year during the windy spells through college was placed on the Feature Editor's desk. The young gentle- (Third in a eerier of five articles Another criticism of McDaniel con- on the Hill the girls have to stuff the man in question had gotten his hands on a device which recited notes to him '1naldm.gup a "Report em. the Dorms- cerns the heat supply. During the windows with match covers and card- all night while he dozed. When he awoke, the notes were right there on the tories" at Western. Jlfaryland.) middle of the winter the rooms were board to keep them from rattling. To tip of his tongue; in other words, he had absorbed them even though asleep. McDaniel Hall ia.nct-as old (1922) very chilly during the day as well as heal" windows rattling while try~ng to Personally, I don't believe this method works. My professors recite wads as the two boys' dormsdiscussed pre- duri_pg the night. In fact, there was study or. sleep is rather annoying, to of succinct notes while I'm asleep, but when someone nudges 'me at the end viously in this series; therefore this one night when my roommate and I say the least. of the period, I haven't retained a thing except possibly a few splinters in article can not be as adversely critical couldn't stay in our room because of the lower region. But perhaps I'm biased. as the others. the cold. We spent the night in a Finger Stalls Anyway, it might be nice to imagine what would happen if this hypothesis' There are many things about Mc- warmer room across the hall. Aside from the noise, the looseness were carried a logical step further. What, dear reader, is the only thing Daniel for which we, its residents, of the windows allows quite a bit of college students love better than sleep? Corr ect=-food. If someone were to may really say "thanks." This year Odd Paper Finds Home air--cold air-to get into the rooms. devise ~ learning formula which could be installed in food, he would be a almost all the rooms which needed it As far as the heating system itself The windows themselves are so loose' sizable millionaire (before taxes) at the end of a week. Everywhere students were re-papered. Many of the beds goes, it is quite adeqeate for the that it is actually possible to get your would be "eating their way" through college and loving it. The only flunkers have new mattreasea-Lwhich were whole dormitory. However, the prob- fingers between the top and bottom would be people with poor digestive tracts or girls with a strong desire to much needed. And all of the bath- lem of cold rooms does not stem from windows and around the edges next possess a good figure at the cost of intelligence. rooms have been completely re-paint- the heating system but from the to the woodwork. "Cramming" for exams would at last have a truly literal meaning-s-and ed. windows. In addition to this, the strip of would knowledge be broadening? ... Concerning the bathrooms, the For almost three whole years now wood right next to the window is also But there's no way to better illustrate the radical changes which would plumbing system is not as good as it I have lived in McDaniel and each loose. And it is still amazing to sit occur than by a simple story grabbed from the future. could be. 'But in addition to this, the year I've lived on a different floor. in a room with the windows closed bathroom is one place where the girls And each year my main gripe, so to and stuffed and watch the window Harry Marshall strolled over to the dark-haired boy in front of the class- themselves could bring about a big speak, has come from the, same source shades quietly blowing back and room (dining hall). "How about a movie tonight?" he asked. forth. Furthermore, if the windows "Sorry, Harry. I've got some homework to eat." Ancient Collateral Cards Produce Data performed to, the function rain on the "O.K. Here comes Albrecht. Let's go in." into the sup- they're Albrecht, and Zeke---waddled posed it wouldn't The three young students-c-Harry, Recommending Art-Historian To Future inside as well as the outside. dining hall. It could be seen from the latter's waistline that he was the college seats and Zeke picked up a The trio plumped into .their superlarge brain. This, then, seems to be the major cause of chilliness in the rooms on menu. "What would you two guys like to begin with?" he asked. "They have Last week end I made a slow trip home-having remembered an old cold days. The wind and cold air Magnetism. salad and Invertebrate Zoology tomato surprise." discarded love letter which my morale was sorely needing. I spent an entire which come in through the spaces "I don't need either of those," Albrecht sneered. counteract the heat, and as a result By this time a waiter had appeared. "Can I help you slobs?" he asked. a good part of the heat is completely "I'll have H?'story of Greenland mashed potatoes, Old Testament string lost. Wafting The Wasps bean'~G~~~~~aih!f;!:~~;go;a;:~~~:!dp~:~~~ with~JVfJllington sauce, Calculus carrots! and History of Germs steak," put in Zeke. Not only the windows but the screens also are loose. We may not "Yessir. Would you like Europe esnce 1914 onions on the steak?" have cockroaches in McDaniel but we "No. How are you serving the Novels of Samuel Richardson today?" certainly have an overabundance of "In weak tea, like always." wasps and flies. 'I'hey, just Jove to "O.K. waiter, I'll have one of those." crawl around between the window and The waiter then turned to Albrecht and Harry: "What would you gentle- the screen: And, of course, when they men like to drink?" die and drop down on the sill we "Beethoven coffee for me," was the reply from Harry. don't dare open the windows for fear "BILek beer," said Albrecht. . a host of little dead bodies will come So the three gentlemen sat back until the great store of food was brought floating in on the breeze. before them. They ate voraciously and in silence (silence is conducive to To many people on campus this study). Finally Zeke staggered upstairs for an exam on the War of 1812. concentrated criticism of the windows An hour later, the chef burst from the kitchen, his face tight with worry. in McDaniel may seem a small thing "Great Scott!" he said to the waiter. ''That gentleman who wanted the Battle ... of lVa.terloo potatoes Is he gone?" to complain about. But perhaps this "Yes." criticism will. serve to illustrate "By mistake I put the wrong formula in the potatoes." another point-that if the dorm would Dr. WiUia.m Allan MacDonald be kept in constant repair, it might "Holy cow! What formula was it?" afternoon trapped in a dusty closet-my fingers probing past decayed wood not depreciate as easily or as rapidly "Folk Dancing!" seated himself at the elbow of Wilkins, his face distraught, Professor pulp as I searched blindly for last year's memoirs. as the other dorms ...have. McDaniel is Dr. Smythe. itA funny thing happened to me today," he said. After eight reach-pull cycles, my patience was no longer prolific. Each not so old that it will become obsolete "Oh? What was that?" asked Dr. Smythe. bit of paper I pulled out was a 3" x 5" index card: before another 20 or 30 years. "I was giving an oral exam on the Wal" of 1812. One of the questions First Ca,rd: "MacDonald, William Allan; born in Loraine, Ohio; homo The windows could possibly be was how many men Napoleon generally used as skirmishers. Zeke McClosky, sapiens; excellent chance of sur- weatherstripped and tightened in an excellent student, leaped to his feet and did a Virginia Reel." vival." gathering research for eternity." "How extraordinary!" Second Card: "Youth, the; guilty Fifth Ca.rd: "Duty, incessant de- ilfa.naging editor Coleman, "But that's not all," Wilkins continued. "'llo my query about Napoleon's of an amorous escapade with Clio, the mand of; Received a Friday plea a. [umior from Catomville, death, guess what he did, just guess what he didl" Muse of History. Seems inevitable from some hilltop in Westminster, Md., has lived three years "I cannot say. What did he do,' asked Smythe. in ·1945; that he'll marry her." Maryland, interview; followed by a in McDaniel. She ie an "He literally forced me to dance a western jig with him! It was em. in a Saturday resulting Third Card: "Young Man, College first class on Monday morning. He's E'Ilglwh 'major, a mmnber barrassing-the class applauded and we had to do three encores!" and, the; Went south to get an ac- been facing WMC scholars ever of Sigma Sigma. Tau and "That certainly is singular," rejoined Dr. Smythe. "It's mighty strange cent on education. Stayed a year at since." the College Pla.ym·s. She for a student to act like that. You know, it must have been something he ate." University of Alabama; headed up- Sixth Ca1'd: "Doctor, courses of- has been a member of the stream, and back to Ohio-studying GOLD BUG editor'ial sta.ff and working his way through four fered by, the; Began with double, since her [reehmuui yea?'. years at Oberlin College. Awarded G-I periods of Greek history and art; Renais- I A.B. in art and archeology. Shoul- followed by Ancient through of all pe- some way. The screens also could be The following business was also, art sance histories; dered palette and pick to accept fel- riods. At time of survey, he was made to fit a little, tighter. And the discussed by the Interfraternity Preachers will take care of pub- lowship at Johns Hopkins University. teaching, in addition, one hour in windows could be given a coat of licity and tickets; and the Black Not permitted to remain there- history of church art for seminary paint on the inside once in a while Council at its last meeting: and Whites are responsible for since he'd exhausted all degrees--- students." . -c-the paint and wood both are chip; As usual, the May Day Dance cleaning up the gym after the receiving his M.S. in art in 1942, Seventh Card: "Professor, individ- ping off in many cases. will be given by the Pan-Hellenic dance. The sororities are expect- followed by Ph.D. in 1943. University ualism exhibited by; The subject Council on Saturday night. May ed to help the fraternities in any Board of Examiners is offering re- under discussion suffers from the Procrastinated Paint 1 in Gill Gymnasium. Bert way they can. . ward to anyone who can explain how, chronic, rarely contagious disease- Yes, it would cost money now. But Springstead of Alpha Gamma The Council discussed the in one year, a man could produce a prosopography (epigraphy) ('The if checking the screens and painting Tau has consented to act as the present proposal for taking the doctorate on Abdera in Thrace (this the windows could become routine work general chairman of this dance, May Day Dance off of the hands study being based upon coins, sculp- study or science of inscription'). Sub- to be done every few years, and if the The Gamma Bets are in charge of the Pan-Hell Council and ture, inscripture, and lit e r it r y ject becomes dangerous at the end of windows could be fixed in some way, of concessions and getting the placing this dance on the frater- sources)." . two chapters; beware of footnotes the building would last longer and orchestra; the Bachelors are in nity rotational dance calendar. and the number of garment folds in charge of decorations; the Fourth Ca.rd: "MacDonald, W.A., 'The Victory of Samothrae'e.' Lectures possibly not reach the point which the The proposal was passed. brief thoughts of; The young doctor sharpen wits and blunt swift pencils. other old dorms have reached. With hoped to settle down in some quiet Collects Indian relics, coins, stamps, tighter windows and screens there museum with a stylus and scroll, firearms, swords, Confederate money would be less loss of heatj-Iesa leakage on rainy days, and less flies and wasps and bonds, nineteenth century private sailing around. and state bank notes, European let- In short, if repair and upkeep of THE GOLD BUG ters and documents of the sixteenth, the dor-ms-c-or-any building on campus seventeenth, and eighteenth centuries, pertinent Art-History cartoons, and" --could become regular procedure, the to the would not depreciate buildings collateral cards twice a month. extent that it becomes necessary to A year ago, he furthered his weed- either repair everything at once or to working hobby as a carpenter during let things slide until a new building the summer months. His prosopo- is built. graphing has led to more than men- M.mb.r Next w8Ue: "Report on the Dorm- Associated Collegiate Prell tal blocks of the layman. He has com- tories" No. 4~Albert Nonnan Ward, piled catalogues concerning inscrip- SUMcriptioD Price $2.00 • Year tions. Instrumental in applying OIym~ by John Dewey.) pic tradition to the campus via the track team. Famous for bow ties, F..ditor_in-chi@f~_ .. Gm LaM..r. '55 C