Page 52 - TheGoldBug1946-47

The Gold Bug, Feb. 6, 1947 Alumni Hall Walls Tremble Shall we all pray? Gold Bug Staff. -The During Impressive Speech (Cont. from page 2, column 4) Warm the hearts against this war of yours, Father. continue all military preparation (Continueth from page 1) God: But suppose Satan should at- If Satan comes, we will meet hi tack. as a brother in friendly discusaio soul and more sin. ceive ana to echo these historic words. of those you love Jesus: Father, you know there will Mars: As a what? In a what? Havefaithandfearme is the presi- The building shook and the glass be no attack. Preparedness invites Gabriel: As a brother in discussio dent, the vice-president, the treas- trembled in its frames, as if in awe Send attack for fear you will attack first. Mars: What's that? urer, the secretary and the song lead- of some supernatural monster, as en- It all invites fear. Voltaire: (Aside) Look at his jaw. er of the Gallopin' Galileans, which thusiasm reached a climax. The rows RED HEART God: He is our enemy. Ingersoll: (Aside) He could slip hi is the Westminster branch of the of orderly, militant soldiers broke as Jesus: Love your enemy. collar over his head without unbu Chicago Commandos for Christ. His they tore their hair and gnashed their God: He has conspired against us. toning it. work in past years has been' notable teeth in wild fervor. Two or three Jesus: Be good to those who despite- Paine: His skull-a gorilla. He rep i~ that he has been propounding a irrepressable young students left, fully use you. resents the extreme stupidity 0 modern crusade by the Church for sabres clanking 'as they 'stomped, to God: He is in back of the earth wars man-war. the possession of the Holy Lands still prey upon the quiet heathens of the that despise you. God: All military preparations wi evtstent in the Near East. He is fur- town. It is rumored that they are More Veterinarians Jesus: Resist not evil with evil. be discontinued. I have said it. ther in favor of pilgrimages for pur- the three who hanged one of the in- Smoke God: Well, well. Mars: I do not understand. poses of penitence. fidel pacifists on Main Street. Jesus: Blessed are the peacemakers .. God: Of course you don't. Gabriel "R~ligious workers of the world, DROMEDARIES God: Come, come, my Son. Don't proclaim this new truth. Not t unite! You have nothing to lose but Dr. Havefaithandfearme's speech be a slacker-let us make the Uni- prepare for war is the supreme in the devil!" was the battle cry echoing lasted only twenty minutes, as is still Than Any Other verse safe for brotherly love and telligence of man's reason, th throughout the aged walls of Alumni required by an ancient college tradi- Me. You have a reputation in this rightness of his soul. Beloved Son Hall which cracked with every thun- tion dating back to the; 1940's and Cigarette love and brotherhood business, and let us go view the new-made star. derous ovation. The chairs had pre- which has seldom been violated. In if you would g'ive the angels one The essay is ....submitted withou talks viously been removed, and the student explanation of this, the doctor men. of your twenty minute and the holy on comment, except for expression 0 love and brotherhood body, men and women, dressed in tinned that "What this world needs PLEASE BuY OUR BILE PILLS! cause of making the Universe safe regret that space forbade its printin identical and immaculate blue-lapels is more ritual, more regimentation, for-well-for-you know. in the entirety. However, a commen seems Leviathan in the stood at attention row on row to re- and more discipline! " We got more bile pills than Carter Jesus: But, Father, I meant every by Hobbes and in order. Man in a opportune An eerie and solemn calm spread has liver pills. We got piles of bile word I said on earth. It was all to over the group as the dignified Colonel pills! make more clear that love, not hate, state of Nature as we know him has his two major desires: to preserve Immaculate of the r. o. t. c. strode, Yellowe, Greene, and Blacke, Inc. is the salvation of the world. Fa- own .liberty, and to acquire dominion down the broad aisle after the speech ther, you yourself said," Thou shalt / SPECIAL!! to shake Dr. Havefaithandfearme's not kill." And I have conscientious over others; both desires dictated by hand. One woman who witnessed the Structural objections to murder under any the impulse to self preservation. Through the conflict of these desires Steak dinner in event from the balcony spoke of it as name. arises a war of all against all, which "a reverent communion between Steel God: A conscientious objector! Look makes life "nasty, brutish, and. College Dining Hall Heaven and earth, all for one and one Foundations down on earth and see where they short." Individuals integrated into for all." Another claimed the doc- are. In jails, in penitentiar-ies, a society make conflict which causes. Every Thursday I tor's speech to be "wise words of For the Girl with the persecuted, despised. war as we connote it. wisdom, divinely inspired and des- proverbial figure Jesus: Father, I am your son, and Certainly, the past five years has tined to go down in human history what I am is of You. Betray me taught us what a war between so- forever and ever." I.' Beam Foundation Co. not. cieties is; and as an extreme example God: Though men betray you, I will of the conflict within society, con- not betray you. sider the situation of the thousands Blessed be the peacemakers. ~~~~~G!~~._:;r~l'~ , Jesus: (Calls Gabriel.) of conscientious objectors who are God: SLUGGISH? OVERWEIGHT? Advertisement Gabriel: I am here, Lord. still in detention camps, spite camps, and until quite recently, prisons, and Westminster Light Society God: Blow your trumpet. Call them even solitary confinement, and who Try our Tapewormsl all here. are treated as-or worse than-the "We lead you from virtue to (All enter.) criminal enemy of society who robs, Send for Sample Worm happiness." • Archangels, angels, gentlemen. Dis- mnrders, and rapes. Ideas, not other women, are ' Vigorous Worms Guaranteed to Workl , M~~aris d~~~t~ti~~[tho~~r eil~;: : False Prophets T. K.'Binkerton Opens , ~C:::~~,o~a:°n;,~~~esi:esld!~~!~i; I Non-Profit Book Shop if woman triumphs, the result I , is pitiful. f Are Exposed Yes- Non-Profit! , An old verse says: (We Can't Remetnber) Why does he love her? (Page 1 begat this article) The proceeds go to the administrative Curious fool be still. Is Love the growth of retirement fund. Friday, February 7-0rganized student strike against serying fish in the Human Will? I who ever heard of mathematics devel- In various rooms within the ultra- dining hall. It is each student's duty to attend. Thus, by some great Wisdom, t oping or evolving? modern and convenient building are Saturday, February 8-7:30 p. m. Ple-Throwtng Contest in Blanche Ward j the Beauty and Vanity and Pur- • Argument No. 28 includes many card tables at which perpetual games Gym Sponsored by the Men's and Women's Student Governments. pose of woman is kept alive in , testimonial~ from prominent scientists are held under the sponsorship of the man, he may so that devote ; Target for the evening-members of the faculty. (Bring your , precious Reason to the essence .~ of the twenties who point out weak college. There is one small room friends and grudges along.) points in the Darwinian theory. True, somewhere in the rear where stu- Sunday, February 9-Sunday School. 9:15 a. m., Baker Chapel. The bi- , of ';~f:t to do with 'em? f the Darwinian theory has been re- dents may play without gambling. monthly Jesson en temperance. Sir Babbling Brooks, speaker. Love 'em!! t vised and refined to make it agree A small shop will shortly be opened M.onday, February 10-Assembly_ll :30 a. m. Topic-"Free Love and the F. T. A.J : with all the known facts. But pro- next to the recreation building for College Student" by Dr. 1. Wuz There. Dr. There has been secured fessor Huxley himself said, "Evolu- the purchase of cigarettes, chewing tl1rough the efforts of the Sociology Depa'rtment. jI:~~~-';;"1;~;:;'-';~-'~~'"i'i tion is not proved and not provable." tobacco, beer to take out, and pack- Tuesday, February 11-8:00 p. m.-7 Senior Necking Party. Anywhere This definitely shows the theory to be aged goods. This will, of course, be Back Campus. We promise you an evening you'll never forget. (In- false, hence insidious. The mere fact n non-profit organization under the formal). that the existence of things on the proprietorship of T. K. Binkerton. Wednesday, February 12-SCA-7:00 p. m., Baker Chapel. The stirring abstract (in the sense of intangible) Books will be held in stock, but the eupuly will be limited due to expected question "Why?" to be presented and discussed by Dr. I. Will Tellyu. plane, such as value, love, and good- neg-ligent demand. Beer and pretzels to be served after the meeting; Feb. VI Feb. VIII ness, cannot be conclusively demon- The new library holds a maximum Thursday, February 13-Public burning of all regulations concerning cars strated, however, does not disprove of ten thousand 'books arranged ac- and co-eds. 8 :30 p. m., Hoffa Field. The Board of Trustees and "KNOCK TURN"" them. cording to the Dewey decimal system. chosen representatives of the Methodist Bishops will be the guests of And thus the fifty ingenious argu- It has been emphasized to all stu- honor. dents that The Book-of-The-Month F.riday, February 14--Rush tea, McDaniel Lounge, at 4 :30 p. m., by the Feb. IX Feb. XII ments pile up-EVOLUTION HAS Club offers have been refused due to Am Gladda Did Sorority. "TWO EARS BESIDE ONCE AND FOR ALL BEEN DIS- the lewdness of the selections put Saturday, February IS-Bund Meeting, 7 :45 p. m., Baker Chapel. Dr. PROVED. LET IT REMAIN IN ITS forth. There are three tables with GRAVE. RIGHTFUL Wheatfield presiding. THE MASK" chairs about, each one to accomodate Monday, February 17-Vice Recital in Divine Hall by Professor J. D. Mac- For your edification and defense twenty students at a time. A full- Husky. 8:00 p. m. against atheists this small volume is time librarian will be employed. Feb. XIII Feb. XV heartily endorsed for reading. By The chief addition to the magazine "THE CONFIDENTIAL Rev. Williams, it can be found on section is Sunshine and Health. it pe- WMC's library shelves. There is no riodical long-coveted by department MOD ERNE RABBIT HUTCHES HEARTH" excuse for the presence of any in- heads, yet omitted in the selection fidel, atheistic evolutionist on this be- until recently because of the universal (no floors for easy cleaning) loved campus. Although most of the fear that students may be corrupted Feb. XVI Feb. XVIII discussions are of a challenging na- more than they already are. Stimulating environment for "THE MANY ture and provoke much solid think- The coeducational dormitories are inactive rabbits ing, it is felt sure that there will be a special attraction to all progres- HUTCH CO. Uniontown Road I ADORE" derived much benefit from a perusal sive, red-blooded young Americans. of this inspired hook. The sociology department is expected to hold several of its classes nightly FOUND As a closing suggestion, it is hoped within them under the guidance of Is your lover sluggis!:t? Feb. XIX Feb. XX that Evolution Disproved 101 be made New style laundry that guarantees "SEIZURE AND A a required course and be placed un- Dr. J. P. Twearp. Try MARTYR'S LITTLE Among- other things, emphasis is lose or damage every article. der the jurisdiction of the religion de- bein({ placed upon the empirical LOVER PILLS CLEPTOMANIAC" partrnent where it will receive no Eastminster Laundry method of education under the new harsh emphasis. college administration. Plan Transfer Statler Jr., Jciumot III, Cushen Jr., Brooks IV, Anderson Jr., Hershleld Jr., Schmidt Jr., Rogers and Rogers Jrs., Cohen Jr., Ray Jr., Wolfsheimer Jr., Holloway 1/1 .