Page 37 - TheGoldBug1934-35

The Gold Bug, Western Maryland College, Westminster, Md. PAGE THREE ASH. PRESS HOOTS I MUG RUNS MITT MATCH PAPER SHOUTS PHOOEY AT GREEN TERROR QUINT PAPER TO SPONSOR CLINGING VINE SCORES SPORTS STARS Capitol Sheet Pans Green and Gold BOXING CONTEST K. O. AT CAGE CONTBST For Low Scoring Feat Sunday morning papers of Last Tuesday night Joe College Washington, D. C., carried wholly Quaint Rules to Govern Struggles and Decisions escorted a sweet (make mine dry I) unwarranted and decidedly caustic young thing to the basketball game. stories of Western Maryland's The OLD MUG runs over again! Nobody cares about the score. fighting effort against the George Always on the lookout to please its Washington passers at Washington readers, the newspaper is sponsor- Miss X, clinging like the prover- on Saturday night. Though badly ing a unique mitt match. Onlv bial vine to Joe's arm, opened beaten in the second half, the Ter- members of the staff and thel; the evening's conversation with rors certainly did not literally families may enter. "Where are the players? I was at The object of the contest is to a game once before. Say, is that stand still as stated. pick the winners in the following The papers have no right to bal- list: Pansy with Percy. Well, I like her lyhoo and ridicule teams that op- 115-pound class-Kate Smith VB. hat. " Baby Le Roy. Joe- (Silence.) "HORSE" pose local teams. They have no Heavyweight class-Slim Sum- This fine looking steed took the right to ballyhoo at all. (Witness merville vs. Gertrude Stein. Miss X-Oh, here come our boys. reins in his own hoofs last week to the OLDMUG). A cauliflower will be awarded to individually account for 15 points "Horse" and "Benny" played the winner of the contest. In case I like that shade of green, don't against a strong Loyola five. By good games. So did "Pete" and of a tie, the editor will get the you? Which is S--1 Oh, that virtue of his fine work, this prize- prize. ugly fellow? Oh, heck, I wish he winner won his "spurs" for good. "Bill" and the police force. The Select the winner, fill in the cou- 'was good looking. He's so popu- papers ought to get out of the pan- pon given below, cut it out, and lar. That referee is talking to two I ning and into the fire. Fires are then throw it away. more exciting anyway. I know a players. Why don't he talk to all of them? man who got fired once. Now he doesn't work for a living, but he Pay to the order of the Joe-They're going to start now. gets along-hooey long. Come on, S--, get that tap, boy. This story's getting long. Have Let's see you go. OLD MuG . you noticed that papers are getting Miss X-Where is he going? yellow lately? Anyway, We s tel' n Maryland Name ..................•.. Joe-Nowhere, it's just an ex- pression-a pep talk. played a basketball game and got panned for trying. Papers ought ..Miss X-Oh, Joe, I've lost my to try. Maybe they could. write The contest closed last night. glove. (Joe gets the glove. Mean- good stories, too-like this one. while, the home team has scored D "BULL" THAT'S FOUL basket.) Looking forward to next football COMING HOME GAMES Joe-What happened 7 season, the staff photographer for the OLD 1\1[UG caught this intimate W. M. C. vs. Miss X-Oh, Joe, Professor Zilch snap of a charging fullback who is JOHNS HOPKINS and Miss Highball just came in. expected to fill the stall of the SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23 He's too adorable. She's sweet, "Bomber" next year. We expect W. M. C. vs. too. much from this blue ribbon win- WASHINGTON COLLEGE ner! TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 26 Joe-Say, what's the big idea, reff? Didn't you see that? He pushed him. Robber! Robber! Miss X-Has your pocket been robbed, Joe? "HEN" (J oe cracks under the strain, and Our referee who picks up his goes into a lengthy description of whistle at the intra-mural games basketball. All the while, scoring and clucks, "Shoot one." Between occurs, but neither Joe or Miss X games we don't know what he does. You'll have to find out for your- knows who made what or how selves. many.) Miss X-Oh, Joe, I think basket- ball is an adorable game. It's so bewildering. I'd like to meet the players. Would you introduce me to them ~ I really think basketball is the ----- (Editor's Note-Miss X's body may be viewed in the College Morgue on Friday from one until two.) "A PIG" This is an intimate picture of one 1\11'. Pig before he became edn- LAST NIGHT'S CAGE cated. Mr. Pig entered college RESULT TAKE YOUR CHOICE: "Oh-You Miser You", "You Gotta Give about 1830 when Yale and Harv- ard kicked him about to his utter WESTERN MARYLAND 23 'Credit' to Love", "Hands Under the Table", In case of a tie, every- embarsssment .. MT. ST. MARY'S 26 thing's off!