Page 58 - TheGoldBug1932-33

PAGE TWO The Gold Bug, Western Maryland College, Westminster, Md. Thoughts at Random VARIETY~ A REVIEW OF By "Hazel" and "Hazelnut" BOOKS, PLAYS, AND LIFE weI, you sea thet we just had a relapse, UNION SQUARE One is not satisfied when he has com- and we had tu start riting the durt agen; By Albert Halper-Published by The pleted the book, for there is so much yet sum peeple wur hoping thet we wud stay Viking Press. Guild Selection for to happen to those characters who are so Official student newspaper of Western Maryland College, published on Thursday during the academic year by the students of Western Maryland College, Westminster, dead perminently, but we kudn't sea it March, 1933. "ery real, and who have so much of life Maryland. Entered as second-class matter at the Westminster Postoffice. thet way .... let us sea wat we hav got in left to live. Perhaps that is the most SUBSCRIPTION PRICE $1.00 A YEAR the bag fur this time .... Reviewed by Esther V. Righter, '34. powerful feature of Halper's book. It welcome " Tiny' , alias ' 'Bonyac' , It was the original of one of the char- is unfinished in the ordinary sense of the EDITORIAL STAFF back tu the hill; if we ar not glad tu sea acters in "Union Square" who gave Al- word, yet its greatest claim to perfection, Editor-in-Chief . . .... _.. _.. F. P_ MITCHELL, '34 ya we no thet there iz sum body thet iz Associate Editor . _. __ _ _ _.. ESTHER V_ RIGHTER, '34 bert Halper the idea f'or his book. After in OUTopinion, is the fact that it beauti- News EditOl-S __ . __ DOROTHY M_ PAUL, '34, CARLTON BRINSFIELD, '35 .... we hurd thet "Mary Caldwell' , living for over a year in an unheated fully reveals the unending monotony of Copy Editors FRANCES ELDERDICE, '3'5, C. L. WHITTINGTON, '34 went tu a dance in Baltimore the othur tenement, walking among the varied types the life of the teeming population of New Sports Edvtors MARTHA HARRISON, '34, EUGENE WILLIS, '34 weak, and abont six othur peeple fell of citizenry on the streets of New York, York. asleep with hur .... sum peeple ar moan- and passing hundreds of times by the Jason Wheeler is one of the outstand- MAKE-UP STAFF Managing Editors ANTHONY DIKSA, '34, LORA M. OUTTEN, '34 ing ovur the fact thet it iz only twenty- many interesting landmarks of the section ing characters in "Union Square' '. He Assistant Mam,aging Editor HERBERT STEVENS, '36 sevun days tu spend on the hill .... here's where he was living, it took The Man is just the battered wreckage of " a man Stenoqraph er _ FRANCES GLYNN, '35 sumthing :-' 'Skeets Harrison" fainted Who Walks Backward to crystallize Hal- who might have been". Unsuccessful at dead away the othur day wen a gurl per's ideas into a vital series of inci- writing poetry-and he was truly tal- BUSINESS STAFF spoke tu him; just try it and sea! .... dents. The Man Who Walks Backwards BUsiness Manager R. L. CAIRNES, '34 thet food is continually improving (the appears in the book that he inspired. He ented-Jason immersed his sorrows in AdvB1·tising M(J!ftager A. N. WARD, JR., '35 drink, and made a few dollars by writing Assistams AdvB7iising Manage-r , EDWARD BEAUCHAMP othur way); by June we wil be gettin' was just one of those freakish individu- cheap magazine sto-ries. Eventually he Circulation M(J!ftager CARL EVERLY, '34 bread and milk fur supper 01' az sum als who must be different from everyone turned to dope. Weak as he was, with persons say" Dinner" (~) .... else. He had little mirrors attached to hardly a single virtue, he was yet fasci- Assistant Circulation Managers OLIVE MAY BUTLER, '35 ARTHUR J. DOWNEY, '3'4 the "Aloha" will sune be out, so we his spectacles so that he could see where nating-sufficiently fascinating and piti- THOMAS EVELAND, '36 EDWARD GAULT, '36 ar lukin' forward to a grate yeer buk .... he was going. And he forever walked able to win the love of a respectable M. R. STEVENS, '35 SIMEON MARKLINE, '36 "Baldy Davis" haz joined the "Naz- backwards. girl. is"; "Commandur Romito" haz charge Then, there was Mr. Boardman, the REPORTERS ov all operashons .... we wud sugjest thot After seeing the queer little man Al- Kathlyn Mellor, '34; Louise Needy, ',,'4; Muriel Day, '34; Edith Forney, '35; Orpha anyone who iz in doubt az tu wat tu wear bert Halper opened his eyes to the many typical business man so bent on keeping Pritchard, '34; Dorothy Wicks, '36. other queer people and things to be seen youthful that he forced himself into a Pat Mahoney, '34; Clarence Bussard, '34; James Bopst, '35; Brady Bryson, '35; on an ockashcn consult "C. Russel in Union Square. Instead of seeing peo- life and environment that was distasteful Reynolds Simpson, '36; J. IV. Nichols, '35; Robert Brooks, '36; Dexter Beane, Herbst" .... just· think next yeer we wil ple as mere faces in the crowd, they stood to him. One wonders how he managed to '34. be senyers, and within a yeer we will be out tragically or comically as individu- keep up an appearance of pride and self- leeving deer 01' westurn maryland .... 0, als-individuals who had a past, a pres- respect. watseh hiz Shilling" had bettur The faithful, Worthy opinion; Model manaqement; Correct news. 0, "Bud sum frosh by the name ov "Grum- ent, and a future obstacles. Normal or ab- man' content to labor for an honest liv- working- hearty, Yankee to be lived in the face step; of tremendous bine" haz bin' cutting in' .... we almost normal, they were human and with the ing, and when that was denied him un- she iz So Al- of their fellowmen. E D I T o R I A L fur got he sed thet- he thinks thet "Dask- consideration took up the task of follow- willing to seek a living dishonestly; little f'ur wurds .... tu bad two kute Celia so in love with her artist-and he bert Halper am" kudnt hav gotten started suner on ing their lives as he saw them, and mak- blindly loving the unworthy Helen-all "J ohn Blissman ' less then a munth tu ing them living personalities to whomev- of them and many others play their parts Debits and Credits In such times of depression as these, when most go! .... sum ov thoze gurl baseball play- colleges are having great difficulty in procuring er might read" Union Square." in "Union Square". Each one is dif- ers ar gucl playurs ; spectaturs necessary funds for maintenance of the high standards set up in the stantly in dangur ov being hit are con- a It has been said that the tempo of the ferent from the others, and each is in with past, it is with great pleasure and pride that we note that Western flyin' bat" " scene on Fourteenth St-reeton a Satur- some way typical of his class. So far as Maryland has not been standing still, but has shown steady progress. "Hazelnut" sez thet sum ov the 'boys day afternoon "is torn between Ameri- real moral strength and "back-bone" In many ways the college has shown that it is prepared to offer to the are prowd of their sunburned backs . can tom-tom and European grand- are concerned, there is probably not an students here bigger and better forms of amusement, education and kan sum ov them pitsch 'horseshoes tu! . opera' '. Everything is topsy-turvey. especially strong character in the book. social contact. Teeming with life, and wild, sometimes In some way they are all weak, and yet we sure have got an ambishus group ov almost aimless activity, the street is 3 for that very reason they seem intensely Perhaps it would be worthwhile at this time to list the things in studints heal'; gettin' up at five thirty maelstrom of color and noise. Commun- real and human, which the college has advanced and also to offer for your approval tu play tennis .... "Ruth Jenkins" ist parades and demonstrations, crowds "Union Square" is filled with scenes some facts which we believe might be improved. caused one farmer quite a bit ov trouble of unemployed, squawking street-vendors, and incidents typical of New York life. Those things which are a credit are: on the last field trip .... she fell in hiz and noisy, shoving women make up the There are communist parades, soap-box 1. The increased facilities, such as lights and backdrops, which brook and it haz bin dry evur since .... stampede. Yet there are human souls orators, peanut vendors squabbling in the are now available for use by the speech department. Now the College the baseball teem iz still luking forward there, each an individual soul. streets, fires, riots, and just the usual Players are able to present plays that are plays with definite atmos- tu its furst game; if the rain keeps up Halper has not attempted to construct daily happenings. There are "nuts" pheres established. they will hav a successful seazon .... a plot, or even a connected series of inci- who scatter radical propaganda over the "Hen Romito" sez thet he wil chal- dents. Instead, his "Union Square" is 2. A larger and better college orchestra. In its recent concert, the streets, irascible landladies, and foreign anyone orchestra has shown great strides in perfecting a real technique. It also lenge beat them, tu thirty -six holes ov golf composed of many plots, woven about the restaurant proprietors, all of ",110m play thet and he wil defeat and adds immeasurably to Sunday chapel. , 'Dean ~1illcr" in nine holes! .... thoze lives of many individuals. The reader their parts in the happenings of the book. 3_ The large choir which has been built up within the year. Beau- couples at the prezentashon WUTgrate af- picks up the thread of each story at a Albmt Halper has not put a great deal tifully sung music is offered evenT Sunday by this body of singers. The tur there 'husbands' went tu war"" critical point. It is carried on for of happiness in "Union Square ". It is college choir is a fine thing to haye, and would be a real credit to any "Bakel''' and "Mr. Beall" hav bin en- awhile, and then dropped so tha.t the ac- decidedly not a happy book. But he ha~ of another may be pur- character institution. The vestments which were recently purchased lend untold: tertaining sum ladies (~) in a cal' fyr tivities Finally, each story is brought put an indefinable spirit of sincerity in it sued. the reader, how to :t effect to the sacredness of the music which is offered. the past six sunday nites .... "Dashiell" close. The book ends as though it were that convinces experience, that no matter he is what limited his 4. The increased size of the Oollege Sunday School. From a stag- gcts oUT yote fur being the most talka- in the middle of an important chapter. reading It is gripping-parts is true. nant organization, this devotional body grew by leaps and bounds to tive and yet saying the least .... That which was begun has continued and it if taken yory seriously are terrifying. of a place which is distinctly buried deep in the hearts of those who !it- "Preacher Gizrael" ideal hour iz for progressed, but it has continued and Certainly the book is worth reading and tend. o'clock; he'll tel you why if you ax progressed, but it has not been finished. thinking about. 5. The beautifying of the campus. Nothing too much can be done him .... in this line, for" a thing of beau1y is a joy forever". And no 11- they ar thinkin ov installing 6. The fine record of the football team_ Not only did the team do a soda fountain fur next fall tu keep us well in the winning of all games but one, but at all time it displayed the on the hill .... we ,yud respectfully sug- qualities of good sportsmanship which are or should be the character- jest thet the money be used towards 'L Looking At Other Campuses istics of every Western Marylander. new dormitory fur womin, 01' a gymnazi- 7. The development of intra-mural sports. Last year the intra- um, 01' eyen som hot showers thet wurk mural sports program was begun, and d'ming this past year it has aftnr fiye 0 'clock at nigllt .... we missed PROPOSED CUT SYSTEM.-The re- plow so that they can raise vegetables for steadily grown. The program n01Yinvolves many different sports, and the futball game last weak, but we tiring Student Council at Penn State has their own use and help in making up the competition in the various fields is very keen_ bought our tickets just the same--the approved a resolution to the effect that salary reduction. It's good for th€ tennis teem is tu be congratulated on S. Sunday Ohapel held in Alumni Hall. This facilitates seating therc dpfeating Gettysburg 8-1. ... keep unlimited cuts be allowed seniors in the profs and good for their pocketbooks- arrangement and lends a decided atmosphere to the sacred service. it up! .... hey! hey! May day wil sune upper tenth of their classes, and juniors jf they can make a go of it. 9. New furniture in the dining hall. After all, more elbow room be hear-wudn't ' 'Sena t ' , and in the upper twentieth of theIr classes. It's an idea, and if things keep on we while eating doeS' make the meal more enjoyable. , , 0 'Leair " make a fine royal couple ~... The plan has yet to be approved by the may live to see Hoffa Field hidden under 10. Student cooperation in buying tickets for the intra-squad foot- we hear thet the boys ar havin a may College Senate. If it goes through it will a sea of waving corn or ro\\'s of lima ball game. The students showed themselves very willing to help day tu .... "Koons" ,yishes to announce be adopted next yeaI'. bean-poles. bestow the honor on those athletes who deserve them. thet hiz jazz (r) band will play on short This shows a rather radical spirit. Al- The dark side of the college year must also be considered III this notice; hiz orchestra has many well most all colleges have a cut system, many "TAP DAY' '-At Catholic Univer- system on the schol- that incomplete resume of college activities. known artists U) as "Kaplan", "Stev- of them basing of the students. In com- sity the traditional "Tap Day" is con- ranking astic For debits we must list these outstanding faults: ens", "Stillwagon", "Palmer", with paratively few schools, however, are un- ducted each year, at which time the pres- fraternal idents of the various , , Ebert" on the vocal choruses ... , clubs ex- 1. The food in the dining hall. limited cuts given to students. We await wuzen't the military ball elegant, _... tend their bids publicly and they are 2. No hot water in various rlormitories. This statement needs no ,,-e thought so- 'n all thoze machine guns with interest the decision of the Penn ans,Yered by the persons receiving them. further explanation. and swords hanging around ... _here iz State College Senate. 'rhe faculty advisor of the Inter-Club 3. The overly-strict library system of lending and reserving nuze:-"Berger" haz bin aftuT "Bliss- Council directs the formal ceremonies. books. Also the exhorbitant fines charged for the late returning of man" trying to find out how to milk CHEAP DIPLOMAS~-It is said that We read in The Tower this week that the books. Surely some system could he worked out whereby a book could donkeys 01' mules; "Basey" sez thet hiz at the University of California students sacred tradition of bidding were violated be reserved properly. fa thur haz a hole flock ov them .... who earn an A in a course at the end of this year when several freshmen were ap- 4. The removal of the ash cans from the freshman dormitories. "Tessie Cox" haz sum soph jumping, the first four weeks are now required to proached previous to "Tap Day" and This necessitates the throwing of ,,'aste on the fioor. or out of the win- hazent she "Brinsfield" ~ thoze sun- complete the course, and get a five dollar urged to accept certain bids. However, dow. Probably this measure was taken to prevent the throwing of the day aftel'lloon chapels " Guy Grif- Tefund on their tuition. It sounds like the "Ta.p Day" plan seems to be a cans down the stairs. But it is a known fact that there was less of this fin" saying hiz prayers on hiz nees the an easy and inexpensive way of getting good one, and is certainly moral. than in any former years. othur night and a little mouse ran up hiz an education. However, those coveted To our minds, these are some of the most outstanding credits and leg-naughty, naughty .... "Hurley" al- A 's may not be easy to earn, and it DEPRESSION CLUB-At the Univer- faults of the past year. \\Tithout a doubt there are many other points ways wantz hiz money's worth when he would certainly be hard on the constitu- sity of Chicago a "Depression Club" which could be added to both sidf's of the question. pays; he tried to take a bath in the tion to go after more than a couple at one has been organized, its chief purpose be- It is up to the students as a whole to support all those things which theater the othur night, but the rain wa- time. ing, so it seems, to blackball those girls go to make up a college which is better to live in. It is also up to them ter lI-uznt deep enough on the seat as who consume more than one" coke" and to see that those things which seem wrong to them should be smoothed yet .... BACK TO THE FARM-The depres- two cigarettes on a date. out and avoided. Turning from the Tidiculous to the sion having hit many colleges with a Perhaps we are unjustified in making such selections as these, but sublime, let's not forget that Sunday is bang, we read everywhere that faculty they do represent our honest opinions of what has happened' during the "Mother's Day' '. Those of us who are members are having their salaries cut. AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION- past year. fortunate enough to have a living Mother At Ohio ~orthern that veTY thing hap- From the Johns Hop7ci!ltsDormitory Man- 1wl: It is evident at a glance that the credits of the year overbalance by have a wealtb that is impossible to pened, bnt the college purchased a six far the debits. Without a doubt there are people who could' add to the meaSUl'e in terms of gold. It is only those acre plat of land which is divided into Early to bed, early to rise, list of debits. Ho"ever, they ma~' certainly be listed in that category who are not so fortunate, that reali:l;e sections to be let out to the professors. Keeps your roommates from wearing of "perpetual gripers". (Oontinued oIl :ra.ge Four) They can dOll (jver-alls lind tli~e to the lour ties,