Page 65 - mcdanielfreepress2010-11

College Community and Student's Family Grapple with Suicide and Loss AMBER SLATER Surrounded by loving friends and family and apparent, Aaron's friends and family are stung by SloffReporter passions to explore and build upon, Aaron was Aaron's death because as loved ones. they feel rhnr poised for a life of success and happiness. they could have helped Aaron to work through Aaron's Story Upon beginning his year lit McDaniel, how- his problems had he approached them for help. WhoJ~worldijthiJ! ever, Aaron slipped into crisis and began a down- "Having personally dealr wirh depression fOf 711t world isyours, Ih~ world is YOllr!. ward spiral that tragically came [0 a halt on May the last five years of my life. I would have had so The words of Aaron Waltemeyer's favorjr~ wng, 24. much rc offer to Aaron," Bleser says. "The World Is Yours" by Nas, rang [rue for him "It really ems at me knowing that I had so in the Pall of2009. Aaron'$Crisili mueh help to offer him, but I hndn'c the slight- Aaron left his Towson home where he lived From the!'beginning of the year onward, Aaron est idea of what was going on. Obviously J wish with his parents and twO young",r sisters to begin began to disengage from rhe people and things Icould have been inside his brain to see what the his college career ar McDaniel. thai he loved. Alone, he barrled with depression problem was. [guess he had so much internal Like his dassmares, he was prepared to begin so quiedy, so solitarily rhar his friends and Iam- contltct that the only resolution in his disroned a new life of independence and aduhhood. ily were not aWllreofrhe lruensiry of his scruggles brain was to take his life, which is just a shame." Wa[tcmeyer's dose friend, Judd Bleser '13, until after he had rakcn his life. had known Aaron for four years before [hey both Aftet rhe facrcrhe most apparent evidence of Why is this relevant to you~ came (0 McDaniel. Though they met in biology Aaron's struggle was rejlecred through his grades. While Aaron's case was tragic and exrrerne. he class during freshmen year of high school, their As he withdrew, Aaron began to skip class- carried out a plan that one in every 12 college friendship rook off rwo years later when Aaron, es, leading to academic probation. This prob- students has, according to the JED Foundation. judd, and rwo other friends formed a "four-mart lem progressed during his second semester when If you were to ask your classmares. one, maybe crew." Aaron did not attend class at all for long periods rwo members of each of your classes would know peers and looking for signs of crisis is an easy "Us four would hang OUi jUlit about every oftiine. the exact manner'In which they would take their task that might save a life day we could, and we had something really spe- Throughout the course of the trying and own lives if they ever could not deal with per- "I wane pecple ro remember challife is the clalgoing," Bleser explains. "Even if we were jusr stressful academic year, Aaron never revealed his sonalcrisis. most precious rhingin the world," Judd star.es. hanging om at one of our houses, it was always problems to his family. The conscanr deadlines and pressure of class "It's hard to truly grasp the concept of sui- more enjoyable with Aaron. He prOVideda great "He wasn't indicating to us that he wasn't ar- combined with the freedom we are given as col- cide unless you have dealt with it with a friend or combination of wit and sarcasm that always lefe tending class or taking quizzes or missing exams," lege students can be overwhelming and most family member, but it isn't hard fa know how to us cracking Up.M lamencsMr.Waltemeyer. of us at some point fall inro rhc umbrella term prevent it from happening." Aaron's father, Ron Wal!emeyer, remembers On weekends, Aaron ofren carne home, and "crisis." We have the rools to prevent a case like Aar- his son's cheerful demeanor. ~His smile was lnfec- Mr. Waltemeyer explains, "The way he was on But what is crisis?As defined by the Merriam- on's from happening again within our commu- tious,Mhesays_ campus was completely different from the way he Websterdictionary,crisisis~anunstableorcrucial nity. We musr learn and grow from tragedy, and Besides hanging OUt with friends and fam- was here. We didn't see any of the normal signs of time or state of affatrs in which a decisive change be aware of our mental state as well as those of ily, a number of activities brought a smile to Aar- someone withdrawing, isolating themselves with is impending; especially: one with the distinct our peers. We rnusr be willing to ask for help on's face. thelightoff,sleeping." posstbihry of a hlghly undesirable ourcorne." when we need it, and to reach out a hand and Sports, for example, were ofparricular in- On campus, however, friends began to take Mr. Waltemeyer points out that "crisis can say, "You can make h through rhls" when urh- eeresr, and during the spring of his year at Me- notice. Bleser recalls, "Some days he would turn :u:~ererl by academic, physical, or personal ers are in crlsis. Daniel Aaron played for the Green Terror tennis his phone off for the whole day and we would - team. His fatherrecal!s, however, that basketball have no way of contacring him, bur when he fi- We'veal! had our freak-our-on-the-floor-w- Recognize the signs of crisis was Aaron's true f.t.voritesport and thai he partici- nally turned if back on everything seemed fine. our-best-frlends, I-might-as-wel!-Ieave-school- patedinpick-upgamesonandoffcampus. We didn'r think much of it, because he did have and-work-at-McDonalds, or l-refuse-tO-get-Out- Consider seekinghelp ilyou noticeony Aaron was also interested in community ser- a tendency ro be 1;Iloodysomerimes." of bed mOments. It is,when these momems pile combinotionofthefollowins: vice, and volunteered in the Big Brorhers Big Sis- Often, Aaron had no class, no COntact with up, when these momentS rum inro days and weeks o hopelessness 0 fOligue or lock ters program during high school. the outside world, and therefore offered no chance and distract us ftom schoolwork and friends and Otearfulnes$ Movies and music, though, were Aaron's for others to reach OUtand help him through his farnily that we are in danger. It is when these mo- of energy main hobbies. . crisis. ments consume us that we must reach out and o irritability 0 eating disorders Ofhls self-imposed isolation, Mr. Waltemey- say, "Help me." .2.::=~m 0 difficul!y frnm~p~rlt;1ruft:~I~~ ~~~o an~her~ _ no_ ~lt" one mlng I£you 10-01,,"yound( in EriJ..&- '12. __ ,.-". ~ __ Bleser "dds. MHi. knowledge £If b(>lh musk " dorm with on", or othC'r people. playing .IveMl"" dub. pofn.... u~d>.~ .....,.,. __ alouol"""_ ~sutcd. and film was astonishing. and somer;hing he and video games. 1<'. anoth",r ,(someone i$l$olar,ng reach thi' cri.fcd and dang<'l'Ou, point In a erl- Dresfl.nrte ... Dredle" I ~han:d." themsdvesalone.~ sis, they onen "aren't aware of the resources Or Cehangesin behovior As time passed, Aaron's friends nOt only no- are afraid." ticed his strange behavior, but began to worry !solation in suchsiruarions is dangerous and h~~~or$leepjng Cself·injury Dsubstance SUICIDE STATISTICS about his wellbeing. Where was Aaron during counterintuitive. worlhlessnessor abuse C feelings 01 ~Even if you have had suicidal thoughts and pickup basketball games? How long had it been since they'd talked abour music, gone to a movie? crearI'd a plan (0 end your life, help can still be guilt C feeling trapped Sure, he was usually at home during the week- sought and changes can still be made,M Bleser C lack of D dramatic mood ends, but where was he during dass rimi;? srates. • enthusiasm changes o DepreWon gffeds nearty 10% cl Arnerico05oges18oncioverinagivenyear .. "At one poim during rhe second semester, I The Well ness Center is an cxcellenr resource was awate of his academic struggles and sent him fOf combating crisis. According to Dean Beth OCurrentiy,wicidei.the 11th leading a text just (0 let him know Iwas here for him,M Cerl, students can seek ~assessments, short term couse afdeath in the UniteclStotes Editor's Note: Blesrer explains. ~He didn't take very kindly to ~~~~:~~~n~fetrals, emergency evaluations, and CSuiOdei.tn..3rdleadingcouteofdeath that tCXt.though, presumably because he didn't omong thaw 15-24 year1 old. wall( people (0 know what really was going on "If they don't offer what is need~d, they help There are many more details about OApenon~bywk:ideoboot-ry 15 inside his brain and hean.~ find it from an cutsidesource," she adds. Aaron's life and his family's struggle mloules. ~When it comes down to it, in my personal Another important Slep besides seeking pro- to piece together some of the circum- opinion, he had tOOmuch pride to try to address fessional help is to rely on friends and family. stances surrounding his death. Re- C9()%c:JpeopIewhodiebyouicide~ his issue and seek hclp. I feel that this problem Even if we personally are not dealing wilh porter Hanna Barker spent hours re- a diognosoble pt.ychialric dioorder at the lime iedrohisdownfaJl,M Bleser states. crisis, we must, as Bleser purs it, ~be co~nizant oflheirdeotto. searching these details and talking to Pride combined with a feeling of failure, of peers." family members and administrators. o Fot-_rydeathbywicide,thetearoon agrees Mr. Waltemeyer, were the dangerous fac- Mr. Waltemeyer reminds us, "If you had estimated 8-25 $Uidde attempts. a heart to hean, if you really were friends, you tors which led Aaron to conceal his problems so See full story at might discover that TWO or dlree of your circle of°w"~mgh:s~~J:~~~ thoroughly. , are depressed.~ mcdanielfreepress,com Along with feeling blindsided because few Uepollreormfor ... lkIefense. Remaining tuned in to the emotions of signs of depression or suicidal thoughts were ever "I wish I had the chance to tell him that life is baffiing, but it is better to be in it.II A<:cotdlng to the American ,s.,ciety fot Suiddt Prevention, 3W. mC)$!uf our fritnck Now thai $Ome time has passed, this is pan of (lide i$ s&Ond QnIy to cu accidents:t,;: the major cause of death for wha.r J hllve learned.: 8ENGRANT StaH Reporter college studenrs. The Centet5 for Ci,~ Control and Pr~ntioil hIlS. Gile of thevirrues of McDaniel College is supposed to be m;itwe My friend. AMon Wallemcytr, killed bimsdfla»1 May. We h~d only repnrted thar apprOXimately 1300 suici~ an: committed by coUege lirea ~mall.ramer tight knit community. P:m of being In a community been home for a shOHtime alier completing our freslutw-nyear atMc· SIUdtrotS~h year. The researchshows matfhl" number ofcQl!egesui. is rokingcare of ~eh ()mer. This doesn't mean every rime wmeone g:eu Daniel, So we hadn't been frknd~ for long bur - t though! - the bond "'idesh:l$grllWTl abrmingly in the put thitry ye-.m. Whilt jt u~d to be II Iilde moo")' with you. b not sleeping 11101. ot isn't Ndng wdl you be!Ween us 'Wa$ getting tight. :Oudng ~pdng $Crnf!;t.:r,A310n, Ih,:<' cons!de~ an \nQPpropriau:subjttt of di&t;USSlon,in {he paM deude slKtuJdtepon tbem to the healtb center. BUI you ~hut m:lking plans w attend pes the follOWing stUd~u~~:g~::;et'$ preptrtd !o address iSsues of mental h.::al.th clear head. We col1egt srudenu should try to lake cafe of.:adl other ye1r:ndi~';~knqw ch>\t vmcllt' last tim~ 1 would $p.:ak to AlUOn, 1lttdsubstanCC wlif': arewdl-puhlki~ on college ~plmS.A brief beGa:f~~=~:~,:t~:~I~t~~t't~:~~~~~:~~ds The night of May 24 J ~.pnd OUTMean h~d taken hi~qwn life..It wU ont of those mol'Mtlts when the world jUst p;ulSC:f. • :~:~::~i~~~;;::,:"!t=II~=:r~=:and &miIywbl> kwed bim. if I had only·kMwn him longer. would I may be ;;oN:idcring.weide Bur muty of thesi&n' I wiD alwaY' wonder thttsomeooe ate The rue that he \W$ no loaF!' in the world wauboclUng. No meals. 1I'tOrt hilarious Ixioblng of Lcbnm ]alli6;· no mote!'(onuttena like 9Jso w habit$Q(alotof typleal(GUege 1Q45: nouatlnghcahhy bavt seen rh~dualOhis Itlll'e Qfmind 01would he have feIt;;omfim· iwt getting dw proper amoUtlt ofsleep, ~ -daas.eh 1'd rather mep." and no JiWn" furmy-Iooking fUMing flOat- $pair:~~ ~ use, de-- abk:i~:'::tm:dledwtCctotdl him tbat.lik" bamm,. but it kis a cbokc that willbe:" ~vou know. Dever think txhibIted.u dleK beb-lors. bur: J(t did I and 15.. _ to be in iI. t:r,fitl the1mc. Ytw readaboucsuiddc.inlherrem.butyuu