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FEBRUARY 8, 2007 ~ Page 8 CENTERSPREAD CENTERSPREAD FEBRUARY 8, 2007 - Page 9 Faking it: A guide to • • • • • • • • • • • •• • • • surviving the Superbowl •••••••••••••••• The Colts came in favorites, and left champions. 'The but faltered soon thereafter. Commentary: Winner's circle --------- . 1. Let's start with the essen- call that angers the room, join The rain certainly contributed to six fumbles-three Beers-c. and three interceptions. KATELYNN MCGINLEY tials; a touchdown is worth 6 in the shouting and obscenity The Bear's Devin Hester's kickoff retum for the opening seconds shocked Colts, Peyton legendary points, a field goal is worth 3, hurling. "You have GOT to be Indianapolis. But Kelvin Hayden's interception tcudtdcwn will, 11:44remain~ sealed SfAFF WRITER For every red-blooded and a safety is worth 2. KIDDING me!" is a personal the deal for the Colts, whose superstar quarterback and for all he could win the big sports fan out there for whom Commit that to memory - if favorite. Seriously. Try it. It's game, in the biggest game of them all-the Superbowl. trophy presentation, Peyton LINDSEY GRAHAM come through with the game on the line. The the Super Bowl is the Mecca of you ask anybody, your cover fun. Ilike yelling it at the ATM Manning was named MVP of the game. The Colts are for time, NFl, champions. STAFF WRITER pressure of the big game does not affect all sporting events - there's is totally going to be blown. when it tells me I have $3.00 in Brady's ability to make plays unlike his probably at least a handful of my bank account. There was once a time when professional Indianapolis counterpart. people like me, who just don't 2. In terms of what team golfer Phil Mickelson shared Peyton In the past when a high-pressure game was really get it. However, not you're going to root for, you 8. Comedians take note; Janet Manning's plight. Mickelson was once referred put into Manning's hands he tried to do too to as "The Greatest Golfer to have never won a understanding the attraction aren't allowed to base your Jackson jokes aren't funny Major" until his April 2004 Masters win. much. He tried to be 100 perfect with every in watching a bunch of gro\VTl choice on who has cooler uni- anymore. Find new material. play and ended up outsmarting himself. men in spandex tackling one form colors or the cuter quar~ Seriously. Prince is playing the Manning currently holds the title as "The During a play in the 2004 Playoff game against another does not excuse any terback. halftime show, Billy Joel is Greatest Quarterback to have never won a the Patriots, the Colts went with a direct snap of us from the obligation of, at going to be singing the Super Bowl." to running back Edgerrin James therefore put- the very least, attending a 3. You're supposed to be National Anthem, and K~Fed On Sunday February 4, 2007 Manning man- ting Manning in motion. Clever play, but ille- Super Bowl party. happy if the game goes into is starring in a commercial. aged to get the monkey off his back when the gal. Officials quickly caught the illegal motion Which means that myself overtime. I know, it's not fair. You're going to have plenty of Colts came out with a victory against the by #18 and the Colts were charged with a 5- and the rest of the football- Pretend. Chicago Bears. It will go down in sports histo- yard-penalty. challenged portion of the ry like the day Wilt Chamberlain finally won The 2006 Peyton Manning was different than United States will be required 4. Under no circumstances are 9. I know that you don't an NBA Championship, when his east coast the 2004 or 2005 Peyton Manning. In this year's to spend the evening watch- you allowed to say understand it - but for ~ lot of counterpart won 11. AFe Championship Game, Manning came out Manning has put up gaudy numbers but in ing our friends become prow "Touchdown! Kisses!" You people, this is a pretty serious after the half down 2]~6,the old Peyton would gressively drunker and will not get them, and people thing. It's OK to tease people the eyes of many football writers and commen- have panicked, the new Peyton stayed com- scream at the television (and will hate you. at the start of game, but be tators there was still something missing. posed. With short passes over the middle he each other) whenever the aware that the amount of alec- Manning had never been to a Super Bowl and was able to move the Colts dawnfield and keep team of their choice screws 5. You are allowed to think hal consumed will have had come up short so many times that people the New England's defense on the field; there- up, gets screwed by the refer- that commercials are the best increased dramatically by the started questioning if he really was one of the fore winning the game for indianapolis. ee, or someone bad mouths part of the Super Bowl. That's time the game is over, so great Quarterbacks. The new Peyton is in the house and on the their quarterback. While all what most people think any~ refrain from any taunting that This has sparked the great Brady-Manning first Sunday night in February, Peyton this is going on, we sit quietly way - even if they don't admit might potentially result in you debate. New England Patriots Quarterback Manning had finally succeded to drop the by ourselves, staring in blank it, getting punched. Tom Brady does not have the same eye~pop~ moniker "The Greatest Quarterback to have confusion at the chaos around ping numbers but he has shown the ability to never won a Super Bowl." us and wonder if anyone will 6. When in doubt, offer to ]0. When your eyes start . notice if we sneak out and fetch more beer/soda/chips. developing that perpetual watch a Scrubs re-run. But in doing so, be aware that Qlazed over thing halfway I .Commentarf; The defeated through the game, take heart- No worries, fellow sports standing in front of the televi- you've got all year to reco~e:'__d.!~~~~~i~~lii~!!!!!~;i~~:;~~~~ilili,!~ C ~ sion or blocking the view at or you yet. You too can enjoy (or any time (during the game and prepare for the next one. Bears fan? Turn emo now dyslexics - there's hope for at least convincingly pretend the commercials) is going to to enjoy) the Super Bowl fes- cause you to get pegged with winning six NBA charnpt- This is a team that is loved tivities with the best of them. whatever inanimate object get out there and fake it ROB GOEKE onships. so much that usually, their To help you with that, here are that is within reach. for the team, kid. STAFF WRITER Why does this city have given moniker does not sui- a couple basic tips and sug· Thursday, February 1 such a love for a football team, flee. Even Urslls arctos horri- gesrions: 7 .When the referee makes a ment, Even after his final retire- who in 41 years has only been bilis doesn't work. In casual people refer to conversation, to two Super Bowls? Identity. Michael Jordan Entertainment subpar reigns as one of the most rec- where a brisk November after- their team as "The Beloved." still Chicago is a hard city, Or, most famously, De Bears. ognizable athletes across the world. He could go anywhere noon with wind gusting off Now that they are playing BRIAN ENGLER close second, though a differ- The commerdals from New York to New Delhi Lake Michigan is about as in the biggest football game cold as it gets in any winter in this side of the Champions --...::.::_::_:_==--- ent kind of good was the Janet from several drug commer- and receive nothing but love Maryland. It may be the League Final, it is a time to WRITER STAFF Jackson/Justin Timberlake and adulation and easily cials to a pop culture reference There are some things that, show. with K·Fed in a fast food job claim to be the most popular biggest city between Los rejoice, especially knowing when they happen, make me This year was different to online companies. athlete wherever he is. Angeles and New York and is that this Sunday will be the feel my age. Granted, I'm only indeed. Prince, for whatever Budweiser seemed to have a Except for one place: becoming more cosmopolitan most exciting day since aneth- 21, but it seems like a lot more reason the network execs con- monopoly, as there were seven Chicago - the city where he and an increasing financial er Sunday in January, 1986 for than that. The Super Bowl was cocted. was the performer. His beer commercials, all of which won all his championships, center and transportation hub. so many in the city of Big one of those times. Ican safely leading the show seemed supported Bud or Bud Light. scored almost 30,000 points. But the identity of the city, shoulders .. say, "Back in my day the com- bizarre to anyone r talked to They were decent commer- The city where he finally the heartbeat, the one trait that Sunday, Febllrary 4 111 , Postgame mercials were better!" even about it. Sophomore Mary cials at least. made the world realize that everyone wears on their The nothingless and hope- though it makes me feel like a Beth Bounds said that she My favorite commercial there was more to the Windy sleeves from Zion to Calumet lessness that one feels as a Rex geezer. thought his rise in popularity involved Robert Goulet raid- City than AI Capone and John City to Elmhurst to Lake Grossman pass hangs softly in Back when I was a kid, I was due to various celebrities ing offices and messing with Dillinger. Shore Drive is this: hard work. the air before being pluc.ked didn't know much about Foot- talking about him again. your stuff, and taping people How could this be possi- Toughness. Pride. by a member of the opposite ball. I knew enough to watch His actual performance was to chairs sometime around ble? How could the world's In many ways, the Bears team is comparable to nothing the game and enjoy it. odd to watch. He went from 3:00 in the afternoon. It ended biggest star not get the same personify and define in sport. However, the real reason I "Rollin' on the River" by CCR, with him clinging to the ceil- [ave in his home city that Chicago's psyche. When they In a game that probably watched the games as a kid to the first few bars of "All ing. The product was Emerald he gets in Beijing? began scoring touchdown should have been decided by was for the commercials. r Along the Watchtower" by Mixed Nuts, which claimed to One reason: The after touchdown in the fourth three or four dozen points, knew that the commercials Jimi Hendrix, followed by give you the energy to put off Bears. quarter against the Saints it only one sufficed. But there would make all the confusion "Getting the Best of You" by Goulet's raids for another day. It's true. Waller was both joyous and perfect. are positives in every nega- not matter. It was almost like The Faa Fighters. It was a Other than that ( enjoyed Payton, the leg- An ideal symbolism existed tive. And as Andy Dufresne the second coming of bizarre medley, followed by the commercials with endary running in the early evening air that said in Tile Slwwsllank Christmas! Merry Christmas the only song of his he per· cubeville workers gone tribal back and any other Sunday afternoon as snow Redemption, hope is a good Brian, enjoy these comrner- formed, "Purple Rain". All I and a commercial where the former Chicago began to fall and over 65,000 thing, maybe the best of dals for you'll never see them could think afterwards was bank robbed its own cus- Bear, gets more love fans screamed loud enough things. And no good thing again! And enjoy them I did. "Prince, please give our songs tomers. Over all, there were for helping will the that their din reached across ever dies. Then, there was the half back." several entertaining comrner- Bears one Super Bowl the lake to Michigan as their At the very least, there was time show. I never really The set was adorned and in dais. Maybe it's just my lost than Jordan, Scottie team would finally return to a some Purple Rain at halftime. watched this until a few years the style of the symbol he con- sense of innocence, but I Pippen and Phil Jackson place they hadn't been in over ago, but it's never been that verted to when he was The remember the commercials of combined get for two decades. wonderful. The best one I Artist Formerly Known As my youth being better. remember was the one Paul Prince. He even had a guitar McCartney did. Although a fashioned after the syrnbol.