Page 100 - Phoenix2000-01

Thursday, March I, 2001 - Page 12 FEATURES Ask Kitty: advice dealing with friends, roommates, feuds CATHY PENDORF dwindled away, but I do still have to live with I suspect though that the reason you are to tell her or think it is unimportant, then S/aJfWriler her for the rest of the semester. Could you so upset, is that you have a-lot of things you you shouldn't. There is no quick answer to any prob- give me advice on how to deal with this situ- want to say and no way to say it. (fyou write You don't hear of many people living lem, but sometimes a question, problem, or ation? down what you feel and think, then you may with someone and worrying about whether situation might come up where you just have Sincerely, feel a lot better having gotten it out. they should tell them they are straight. It no idea what to do. Write a letter, send it to Upset doesn't have to be something that is "kept," Kitty box 797 and maybe she can help you Dear Kitty, you can just be who you are and if it ever out. Maybe not professional counseling, but Dear Upset, Hello. Ihave been living with my current comes up then fine. But you really have to certainly a new way to look at your prob- Communicating in these situations can roommate for awhile now, and things are do what is best for you, it is your life and lems, and completely anonymous! certainly be difficult. Some try so hard and great, but there is something that Iam keep- your roommate. when rebuffed, feel angry and rejected. Deal- ing from her. Iam a lesbian, but ( don't know If you feel you need support, there are Dear Kitty, ing with the feelings of resentment and bit- how to tell her, or if Ieven should. Do lowe people you can talk to, your RA, friends or My roommate is completely passive ag- terness may be the worst part of the circum- it to her 10 tell her? Or should l just keep it to family, or Allies, an organization on cam- gressive, and it drives me insane! When we stances, myself? Idon't want things to get weird, but pus dedicated to education and support. have conflicts, she stops talking, storms off You could of course go with your instinct I don't want to be dishonest with her either. after giving me a stony look, and slams and confront her, but if you feel uncomfort- What do Ido? Hello Kitty, around the room like I don't exist. She'll able doing that, there are other things you -Anonymous I have a problem of major proportions talk about me to mutual friends, and of can do, You both could sit down with a me- and I am praying you can help me out. A course I find out, but I suspect her intention diator and talk it out, or if that is too much, Hi Anonymous, bunch of my friends are not getting along was for me to find out all along, I am an then 'maybe you could follow her less con- This is an interesting question, how much very well and everyone has been talking assertive person, and I long to confront her, frontational example and write her a letter, does someone's roommate really need to behind everyone else's back, I'm upset about Unfortunately, I feel that trying to talk Writing a letter may be assertive enough for know ... Well, if you feel comfortable telling it and I feel like I'm caught in the middle, to her will be flushing completely good you, but nonthreatening enough for her. her and want to, then you should. If she is especially now ... words down the toilet. My interest in be- Whether she responds or not may be a dif- your friend, then she's not going to judge you What I mean is that today [ overheard a ds again has almost completely ferent issue. . don't want _ conversation between two of my friends. I :::;;':~::'::;;:;;=,::';:';;::':~'--c-_----""''---~7-cC-C~---'-'C:""''-;'~-':-":7:l' heard them say my name and a few other names, so Istopped by the door to see what was being said. So maybe I eavesdropped. But it was not very difficult to do consider- ing I heard them walking past their room (their door was closed). So anyway, Iheard some stuff that would upset a 101 of people, but I don't know what to do. What I heard upset me and I want to share it with 'my friends, but I'm afraid that will only make matters worse. Please help me! -Stuck in the Middle Dear Stuck in the Middle, Being stuck in the middle can be a big fight sometimes and it can be a very sticky and upsetting situation. The conversation that you' heard, you said that it was between two of your friends and that you were eavesdropping, Well first of all, the problem with eavesdropping is that what you hear isn't always what was said. Meanings and intent can get very warped even when it's though such a small space, like a door. If it really bothers you, then you should just talk to them directly. Letting it else, about it to everyone summer, ' stew or talking just be adding to the prob- probably would lem, [c:ru ~'Wi::~."tf.i~il Approach the problem rationally and di- reedy, that may be' the-key-to' avoid being stuck in'"t'h'e mW\.iie·{·JIL;j~, Classified Lir,g"acd~/P""I,M""~g", , ','" .. Summer t'4qnths, F1)/P,1'"f' Training Available www.drdpools-com 1-800-466-7665 Mexico/CarioHe'an $300 rou~d.t~ip plus tax. Europe $179 one way plus tax. Other world destinations cheap. Book tickets online www.airtech.comor212- 219-7000. J(you can beat ~he~e prices start your own damn air,1~ne! 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