Page 142 - ThePhoenix1997-98

Wednesday, April I, 1998-Page6 COMMENTARY Staff Is Common Sense at Work in Glar? Editor-In-Chief Kate Hampson '00 Managing Editor The punishment of students for remov- Adam Dean wonders ifGlar's Glar should not allow excessive amounts of Emily Stamathis '00 ing food from Glar seems to be taking an rule about.taking food out of the food to be taken out of the cafeteria. That AdvertisingfBusiness Manager extreme tum recently. cafeteria isfair. would be stupid. They should, however, al- Laura Kelley '01 No one disagrees with the notion that low small amounts of food to be removed stealing is bad. But can taking something for for personal use later. News Editor Christian Wilwohl '98 which you have already paid for really be supplies whenever they can't wash the dishes Instead of an extremely small list of what considered stealing? for some reason. When he asked why he' was can be removed from the cafeteria, why not Assistant News Editor As I understand it, the rule now is that not allowed to remove the paper cup, a Glar allow students to take food according to size? Erin Howard '00 one piece of fruit or one ice cream treat may employee told him that they reuse the dis- All that would be needed is the capability of Features Editor be taken out of the cafeteria. It is important posable cup! roughly estimating the comparable sizes of Nikki Belanger '98 to limit what can and cannot be removed Ihope this is not the truth, but it still does objects, even objects of different shapes. I Assistant Features Editor from Glar. Without limits, students would not explain the ridiculous image of some- mean, you can pretty easily tell that a 747 Nicki Kassolis '99 take large items in ridiculous quantities. one being documented for theft outside Glar airplane is bigger than a farm tractor, though Editorials Editors Things like whole pizzas, cakes, and pies for removing something they have already they possess radically different shapes. Adam Dean '98 MeganMartin'OI "Where the rules and common sense conflict, the rules should be changed. " Art Editor Mike Puskar '99 would disappear. If G1ar's French-owned paid for. Enforcement needs to lighten up, too. It Photographers managing company, Sodexho, allowed this Remember, eating at Glar is not cheap. is ridiculous to document a person for theft Nathan Birdsall '990 to occur they would lose money on the G1ar Most other eating establishments allow cus- for "stealing" a bagel or some other small lessieWatts'98 operation and be forced out of business. tomers take whatever they don't finish of item. The loss of such items is just the cost SeniorWriten Even though they have to protect the their meals home in a doggie bag. Why of doing business in a cafeteria. If you can't Carolyn D. Barnes '98 privilege of removing food from abuse by shouldn't Glar do likewise? accept that, go find work in another field, JonathonShacat '98 lenniferVick '98 the students, Glar seems to be taking too The conflict between common sense and say banking. strong a stance on the matter recently. the rules regarding the removal of food from Being documented for theft can have se- Staft'Writers Eric Barry'OO In researching this piece, I have heard the cafeteria is where the problem of enforce- rious consequences for a student's self es- John Burfield '00 tales of students being harassed by Glar and ment begins. Even tho-ugh it is against the teem and worse. Is this bogus crime worth Anne Butler'OI Campus Safety for removing a bagel. If we rules established by Glar, that is, limiting it? No, it is not. It is time for all of us to Richard Hamilton '99 can remove a piece of fruit, why shouldn't Jeremy Lepus '00 what can be taken out of the cafeteria, most lighten up. Students need to give Glar a Sarah Radice '01 we be able to take a bagel, one slice of pizza, students see nothing morally wrong or un- break. They do their best. Glar has plenty of ;Rjch Simmons '99 a piece of cake, or something else of similar just about removing a bagel and some cream problems it needs to solve first before it starts David Szepesi '99 Kate Tevis '01 size from the cafeteria? cheese to a more pleasant environment for harassing people for taking bagels and JessieWatts'98 Another student complained that Glar later consumption. doughnuts. wouldn't allow him to remove a little bit of Where the rules and common sense con- Distribution Richard Hamilton '99 soda in the bottom of a paper cup, like Glar ffict, the rules should be changed. Of course Rich Suchoski '00 !..i·;:;;.;;~ 1~ SubSCriptions Richard Hamilton '99 Quirks: "Soap Park" ( 'Tis a bad pun...) Adviser Terry Dalton Stain and his germ friends, Klile, Anne Butler expounds on the Crud man drew himself up haughtily, Crudman, and Clenny struggled onto the sink cleanliness of the dorm "Yeah?! So why ain't they got them damn (well, Crudman kind of waddled). They'd bathrooms. soap dispensers? They'd be real sanitary and just completed a very long journey and they'd get rid of them freaking protists too!" The Plwenixis published biweekly. The needed rest. "We're here! We made it!" Stain "Shut up, Crudman!" Stain responded, opinions expressed do not necessarily rep- yelled triumphantly once he caught his swered angrily, "What this place ain't got "There ain't nothing wrong with protists! resent those of The Phoenix staff, the fac- breath. is ..." he paused dramatically. And the school doesn't want to pay for the ulty, or the administrators ofWMC. "You, idiot!" Crudman wheezed loudly, "What?!" asked KIile. dispensers 'cause they think they'U be sto- "This ain't any different then the bathroom "Muhmhuh?" len, so the students gotta get' em themselves The paper welcomes free-lance submis- we left. Oh man, I need some Cheesy Poof "I want Cheesy Poof Crumbs!" if they want 'em." sions on Macintosh disks in most word pro- Crumbs .... " Stain let the suspense go on for a bit Klile slowly grinned, "So, you mean, cessor formats. The editor reserves the right "Shut up you, Patass!" Stain responded longer and then answered. "This bathroom ... there's no soap, so the students can't wash to edit for clarity, length, and libel and to angrily, "This is a whole lot different than their hands?" Stain nodded and Klile con- has ... NO SOAP!" publish as space permits. All submissions that bathroom over near the Dining Hall. And Klile's eyes widened, "Whoa! You seri- tinued, "So we're free to make 'em sick, and (excluding self-addressed diskettes) become it's definitely better then you're stupid idea ous dude? Not even a sliver?" cause' em to miss class and feel miserable the propeny of The Phoenix and cannot be of living on that squirrel." Stain nodded smugly, "Nope, they ain't all the time?" Slain nodded again, matching returned. "HEY!" Crudman shakingly righted him- allowed to have soap or paper towels either! Klile's grin. "Dude!" declared KIile, "This Please include a name and phone num- self, "Don't call me Fat! Ijust got a big cell They gone bring their own!" is way better than that other bathroom!" ber for verification. Names will be with- membrane is all! And that other bathroom "No one's gonna bring their own, man, "See! I told you it was better!" Stain held only by the discretion of the Editor-in- had food! This place hasn't got any! And that especially if they're in an emergency!" KIile beamed. Chief. squirrel had no protists, and I bet this place responded. Crudman was muttering to himself is crawling with 'em." He shivered, "Damn Stain nodded. "Yeah, that's why this place "Damn protists, they think they could take The Phoenixdoes not discriminate based protists, we should kill the lot of 'em!" is so great! No soap means no hand wash- us in 'Nam blew half my unit away until.. .." on age, race, religion, gender, sexual orien- "Crudman's right, Stain," Klile inter- ing! It's a great chance to infect people and The other germs shrugged and ignored him. tation, national origin, condition of handi- jected, "What does this place have that the get 'em sick!" Suddenly a huge shadow appeared over the cap, or marital status. other bathroom didn't?" "DUDE!" sink. Stain grinned, insofar as a germ could "Sweet!" "What the heck's that?!" Stain screamed. grin, "This is one of the donn bathrooms." "Mhuhmmuh!" "Muhum!" "Mmhummmuh huhmm muhuh," Clenny KIile thought for a minute, "But like, why "It's a huge protist! He's come to kill us Mail to: said, only slightly muffled by the strange aren't they allowed soap?" all!" Crudman yelled. The Phoenix piece of cloth he always wore. "Ehmhuhuhmmmuhmuh muhh mum "It's a human!" KIile screamed back, "It's WMC, 2 College Hill The other three germs stared at their small muh humhm," Cienny suggested. our chance to infect it!" Westminster,MD21157 companion in shock. ''That's sick, dude!" "Nah, I don't think that's it, dude, that's The human put both hands on the side of KIile yelled. like physically impossible for humans," Klile the sink. A small squish and Clenny was no (410)751-8600 "Anyway," Stain continued, "what's spe- answered. , more. "THAT BASTARD!" KIile shouted, (410) 876-2055, ext 8600 cial about it is what it hasn't got." Stain shrugged. "They ain't allowed to "IT KILLED CLENNY!" FAX: (410) 857-2729 "Yeah!" Crudman yelled, "It ain't got no share a bar of soap cause it would like, spread E-Mail: phoenix@wmdc.edu food!" germs and stuff." "Shut up, amoeba-brain!" Stain an- .~~~~~.~~ __~~~ __~_._.__J L.Ub~'':brrtV!®y.in~ort_g_::_,,-r:..:icm-o 10 ~~~_~:9~:J