Page 63 - ThePhoenix1988-89

February 23, 1989IWestern Maryland College/Page 7 Bob Brown DS program to Bob Brown reassigned I hope that you weren't expect- nounced raid, one school adminis- nons department is planning a solo TH~FT Ing another one of those controver- trator blew hisstack when he found venture-the production of a docu- sial columns from B_ B_ thatthe presidentof a fraternity had mentary about a hairy-footed hob- (campus policy forbids anyone to stashed several copies of The Joys bit/oil tycoon. The documentary, utter that name ever again) that of Monkhood in the files. which is scheduled for release late TANNING SALON appeared so often last semester. ''We've tried to educate our this spring, will combine the fea- No, in overstepping his boundary, students properly," said this dis- tures of Dallas and Tolkien's Lord 359 R. MANCHESTER ROAD be stepped on too many toes; in mayed administrator, "but they of the Rings. Several titles for this Rear Kegel Plaza. Rt. 27 fact. Security arrested him with his insist on taking vows of celibacy show have been batted around, but 857-9849 toes and the rest of his foot in his instead. of vows of hooking up. the most likely selection will be mouth. Itwasobviousthatthiswas Where have we gone wrong?" WhoShotJRR.? n.. going to happen sooner or later to An emergency team from the And fmally, the biology and g~ that no-good. muckraking. pseudo- Human and Relationship Develop- chemistry departments have made joomalist s.o.b. We just couldn't ment Organization Network have a startling breakthrough in thefield tolerate his unprofessionalism any- been flown in to the school and of evolutionary science. Using an more; brewing up trouble. discred- have assured administralOl'S that improved fonn of Carbon 14dating iting this fine institution. So, BIG they don't need to panic. (e.g. "Say. hey, Carbon 14 babe, ADMINISTRATOR had him si- "After all," said one coun- wanna catch a flick Saturday lenced and reassigned ...where to, selor, "it's only natural for post- night?"), they now can take the no one knows. pubertous people (p.p.p.) to be- bones of the middle finger of a Anyway, that's all behind us. come curious about celibacy. pnmiuveman.reconsuucuheband The future will be brighter now that There's nothing dirty about it." and the entire skeleton, and ascer- you will have the freedom to read In other news, because of the tain if he ever "flipped anyone the exactly what you are supposed to ongoing popularity of the Broad- bird", ifhe wore gloves or not, what read. My name is Bob Blue. and way musical Cats,thecommunica- kind of formal evening attire he I've been sent here by tbe'admini- tions students have joined efforts preferred, how often hedined out, if srranon to fill in the vacancy. My (j.e.) with the pre-med students to he waited to sit until his date was assignment is 10report the positive make a sequel to the Broadway hit. seated, whether or not he had the stories that occur regularly on this The storyline picks up after the cats nerve to bless his food in public, campus but which seem to have have died and been turned over to a and how large of a tip he left been unequivocally overlooked college biology class for dissec- Recent, unsubstantiated re- lastyearbyB_B_andhisevil tion. The musical will be called ports indicate that B_ B_ was associates. So, let's get started. Cuts, and it will feature beautiful seen earlier this week running from Health officials of this com- remakes of some of the classic a prison camp in Czechoslovakia. munity are responding with con- songs from The Sound of Music, One eyewitness claims that he is Happily married couple, unable to have stemauon to the new epidemic such as ''The Halls are Alive with hiding out in Memorial 302, surviv- children, wishes very much to adopt a which is now plaguing young the Smell of Fonnaldehyde" and ing by tutoring French on Mondays newborn. Will provide lots of love and people. It seems thatrampantceli- "These are a Few of My Favorite and Wednesdays at7 pm. bacy is sweeping the college Intestines." security. Strictly legal and confidential. crowd. For example, after an unan- In addition, the communica- Call Craig and Pam collect: 301·989·9092. Swimteam working hard throughout season RAPE MYTH # 14 - ,-,,-,-,> ' "The vidim of rape shares some of the blame for the crime.· By Steve Harlan . ' ,,;::" championships." A payoff is ~ fGt Although his victim may have used poor judgement that definitely a goal that the made her vulnerabie to attack, the rapist made his own The WMC swimming team participating swimmers are decls50ns about what he would do and to whom. He made the has not received much publicity \'"i\~1 shooting for at the meet WMC is decision to engage In violence and has earned a right to be over the past season. Though its \X'( sending eight members from each punished. Regardiess of the circumstances, the rapist bear. record may not reflect it, the team "-4;.i of the teams to the championships. total responsibility for his act50ns.' has worked very hard between The eight from the Women are: October and February. The Men Easterday. "That's why the dual junior captain Colleen Dolan; For help or more information, call the Rape Crisis Intervention and Women ended their regular meet record does not show the senior Julie Wolfe; sophomores Service. Our services are free, and all inquiries are confidential. season on February 14withalossto talentand hard work." An example Helen Lowe and Kelly Zeager; and Dickinson College. The Men's of that talent is Mau Cook, who freshmen Jennifer Boggs, Tracy ~::::;::;::::;::;::::;::;;HO;TUN:;;;;;E;;' 857~.;732~2 ;:;O;FA;;;CE;:;857;;""";:;;;::;::::;::;::::;::;~ team fmished with a record of 4 broke the school record in the 100 Eagan, Dawn Rotennund, and Ii Fitzgerald's Valerie Shearer. Being sent from wins and 11 losses, while the meter Fly with a time of 55.8 C . H L' Women finished the season with a seconds at the home meet against the Men are: seniors John Andrew arrIage ouse Iquors andcc-ceptain Sieve Hegna;junior record of2 wins and 14 losses. the Merchant Marine Academy in ~:a;;::~~:;~~: Aside from the team's record, November. Both the Men and 113 W. Main St., Westtninster coach Kim Easterday is "very Women have talented young proud" of the effort put in by the teams, and they will only lose four freshmen Matt Cook, Keith St. entire team. The Men are led by letierwmners to graduation this Armand, and Trevor Wysong. .. specials this month ... senior co-captains Steve Hegna year. fohn Ehlman is defending and Mark Woodard, and the With the regular season champion in lhe50 meter Freestyle. ""Coors, Coors Light & Extra Gold $11.99/case Woman by junior captain Colleen behind her, Coach Easterday is Other hopefuls to make the fmals ""Busch and Natural Light (bottles) $8.99/case Dolan. Each team entered the '88- looking forward to the Middle from the sixteen are Man Cookand ""Heineken 12 Pack $8.99 '89 season with six returning Atlantic . Conference Steve Hegna' - Coach Easterday leuerwinners. Strong individual Championship Meet The meet is also feels that both the Men and efforts were shown' from freshmen to be held on the February 23. 24. Women will be strong in the relay CASH and CARRY Malt Cook and Valerie Shearer, and 25 at the University of ,events.at the meet. . and junior John Ehlman. "The Scranton. Easterday is hoping for a While supplies last. .. team lacks depth," stated Coach "payoff for all the hard work at the