Page 29 - ThePhoenix1984-85

October 18, 1984IWeliem Maryland CoUege/Page 5 60 seconds on cam/2us -steven Rossman • What is your opinion of the food and (I've never met) service in Englar dining facility? An elevator I didn't like r have only recently ac- the elevator door to try and cepted the computer age. I get out. Next, lights blinked am proud to own such mod- on both sides of the door ern conveniences as my cas- telling me the day, dale and sette deck, with the time (which l-well knew from fluorescent meter which flick- my analog watch), the ers on and off, and my digital weather (which) also knew alram clock which must be re- was 80 degrees and raining) set when the electricity goes and, finally, the stock market out for more than one second. exchange rates which sped I adore these items, which are by faster than the human eye such an integral part of my Gould see. I punched the being that I can not do with- door again out them. My enthusiasm is so great, that a fortune teller Suddenly, this syrupy femi- friend of mine says I should nine voice said, "Hello, my expect a "new addition" to name is Carmen. I'm your my family soon--a brand new elevator" Otis, I took it, was .. bouncing baby computer ter- dead. I started kicking the minal.:But due to a near fatal door I almost Why don't they offer Well, some days they It's terrible. When it is run-in with a machine of the computer gender, "What floor, please?" the more than one por- don't care, some- good, it's only once a didn't survive to enjoy my calm voice said. revelation. tion. There seems to times it is slop. They month with steak "This floor is fine," I an- This near tragedy began be a big campaign to can do better if they Half the time you enroute to a "modern" build- swered, foolishly aware that I produce new food but want to. We are don't know what you ing complex at the Inner Har- was talking to an elevator they have slipped into driven to McDonalds are eating. bor this summer. I was to the old style. when the food is pa- deliver an important envelope "But you've just arrived," to a law firm on the eigh- Carmen chimed. "Won't you \ Jim Shepard, thetic. Dave Talbert, Jeff Rink teenth floor. Let me tell you, please tell me what floor this was some high' class you'd like to go to?" I leaned senior freshman freshman building. You don't see twelve against the wall and wearily -ThomasGarland------ _ year old doormen in tuxes replied the Aighteenth floor. every day of the week. He The elevator moved. My heart I College Activities puts undue directed me straight ahead leaped up, I couldn't wait to where I found myself in the get out of this contraption. A lucky position of choosing steel prod slowly appeared between six elevators, three out of the darkness 1~!~g~[!~~i!!1}!tterf!t'! cof! ~~ie~~SPOnSible forthe tunc- on each side. At first, I was "Would you like a ciga- stumped but finally (after a issue of The Phoenix, I came ties feels that they should be ton discreet rendition of "eeny- rette?" I replied that I didn't meeny-miny-moe") I chose smoke. The prod retreated acr.ossthis headline: "AI~ohol doing more so the easiest Th.e contention' that holdin.g pohcy changed to aid inde- and most obvious place to p~rtles in the Forum or on the the middle one on the left into nowhere. "Are you feeling prod Another side. My next choice was well today?" pendents." The more I infringe upon was fraternities' dining porch forces stude.nts easy. I pressed the "up" thought about it, the mor~ I and sororities' weekend-social 10 b~ more creative in havinq inched its way out and shook my head in disbelief. functions. Hence the new re- fun is also debatable. Greeks button, the doors opened and touched my forehead. I I, unsuspecting soul, walked jumped away. After all, doesn't that line just strictions that, for the most on campus have been quite inside. sum up the stupidity of some part, cause more pain than ingenius in the past at plan- "I feel just fine," I said. The I of the things we as students pleasure. ning theme parties in their II was nearly pitch black prod retreated again. must face from day to day? Speculation aside for a mo- own clubrooms, The Phi Delt inside, except for a dim light I can't tel( you why, but ment, the fact remains that Beach Party, the Bete's Mon- from somewhere above. And "What's in the envelope?" some time last year the WMC Greek organizations are the soon Party, and the Bache- it was perfectly square, like a Carmen asked. Before I could administration caught a se- social catalysts on this cam- lars' and Phi Alphs' Purple little jail cell. In fact, I thought answer, she, I mean the ele- vere case of Greek Paranoia. pus and (like it or not Jean Bull being prime e~a~ples. f was in solitary confinement vator, announced that we had In fact, our dear ex-Dean Higbee, wherever you are) If alcohol is a major Induce- There comes a time in your arrived at the eighteenth floor. I mumbled thank you as the Higbee was so struck by it that's the way it wHI remain rnent to party.h~re.o~ the Hill, life when you think about what that she had to toss the quad Saying the changes were for and I'm sure It IS, It IS.not the might have happened had doors closed behind me. j upside down in search of Greeks and independents fault of Greek organizations, you not taken a certain path. I thought I heard the elevator housing equity for independ- alike is just so much institu- rather it is a reality t~at no only knew that I had made a say, "SUCh a nice young ents and throw a wet blanket tional smoke-blowing. The amount of policy jugglmg is mistake. Imagine my horror, man..." on parties planned and at- only improvement I can see is bound to alter. So why such a when I saw there were no tended by Greeks in their own one mentioned in the article compensatory program to put floor buttons. You see, I like Later, I got stuck with a clubrooms. As a result, cited above. It is true that Greeks and independents on buttons. And more than that, I neurotic elevator that didn't Greeks now have two Decker more people can attend sa an "equal" social footing like pressing buttons. J ..... ould want me to leave. Although, Center dates and two club- the organizations can, if all when equality is not, and has even have settled lor d knob when I threatened to spray' room dates to have alcohol goes well, make more money. not b~en. in quest~on? Greek of some kind, but there were the whole elevator with mace, related functions. This aitua- But the phrase "if all goes orqamzations are Simply more no knobs. I had made a it let me off. I couldn't help tion surely arises from the old well" is key here. Beer runs equipped and more preens- mistake. thinking that"if this is what the misconception that if Greeks out early, faulty taps are is- posed to throw weekly social computer age is all about-I'd run their own social functions sued, and worse, incompetent functions than independents, rather stick to my cassette the independents are ob- persons are assigned to work so why punish them with So, I did what any normal deck and my digital alarm viously missing the fun. Noth- these parties. All of these limitations and restrictions person would have done--I clock. That computer terminal in9 could be further from the factors combine to work to other than those called for by panicked and pounded on will just have to wait. case.. I think tne fact of the the detriment of the organiza- state and federal statutes? '- --'