Page 100 - Scrimshaw1979-80

$11,11I. "."i,lliIe Beaver Bolton, newly elected fortable for a change." He plans to anonymous Phi summed "Well social chairman of Phi Delta serve beer in dixie cups and hold helsabro1her." ' Theta, has announced the first Robert Blake lookalike contest, SGA·Phi nert sponsored "Short "judged by myself, of course." The Folk's Mixer:' in which everyone winner would receive a complete under 5'5" will be allowed In for 25 collection of a-track tapes of cents, while anyone over that Southside Johnny and the Asbury height has to pay 75 cents. "Well. I Jukes. just think short people should have There have been rumors of some breaks too, y'know, it's only dissent among the Phi Oel!s over fair," commented Beaver to Beaver's plans. "I think he's gone Scrimshaw, "but I'm not letting a little too far," said one PhI. "next that bitch Menefee in." we'll be having a Bricktown party Beaver plans to have the mixer and then a Beaver lookalike in the Forum after he puts in a contest; hell, just where will it false ceiling about 6'h feet high. "I stop?" However, Regan Smith just want to let those people at- went on record 10defend Beaver: fllcted by shortness feel com- "I think its a good idea." Another Meteors dump on campus Staph The Rouzer doors were been hired to build a net bet- all galactic meteor showersand shattered again this weekend. It ween Rouzer, the Student broad-casting information only was the fourth time this has Center, and McLea to protect Iffhey'reheadlngforWMC. happened. The' total cost of the campus from the showers. Mike Steinmetz commented, damage to the doors has been They have assured us that this "how can we depend on this estimated at $321,964 _.$20 more time there are supposed to be system if we can't even go down than the college took in in holes in the net. The Penn- tothe basementand look at It?" Other student's take a more parking tickets last month. sylvania Avenue residents are fatalistic view of the Meteor complaining that the net won't .Attempts were made to link reach them. shower vandailsm. Commented the damage to alcohol. .It has been years sine" Jimmy Hoffa, Teamsfer Union Leader "It's just like the radio Allen Kwiatkowski, "I think It's ~~sappeared.. His wherea~ufs are still unknown. Many theorie~ However, noted authority Dr. on station," commented one probably God's judgement on in vandalism arts, the ve ~een ral~ed, but despite a massive investigation, liHle con- woman who was standing next Rouzer." Jeff Thompson has crete information has beendiscovered Wasyl Pallluzchek, Is no to a wall In a vain attempt to suggested that "perhaps it's maintained that "there T~eories concerning the disappe~rance an! numerous and pick up the station. some form of allen In varied. Some feel he was killed by rival union leaders. othe human expression in the Rouzer Plans are also being made to temcence." doors." Mr. Pallluzchek's b!ame the CIA. Perhaps it is Hoffa that lies beneath Lewis? The i~~ hunch was right. The Chemistry install sophisticated measuring The Preachers and Betes cld~nt could .h~ve ~een a legitimate kidnapping gone awry. More Department has uncovered devices in the basement of have expressed an Interest in penphe~y.Cfl!ICS Will maintain that it was the Kennedys, after the conclusive evidence showing Lewis. Thesedevices will act as Inviting the alien Intelligence to same crlt.lcs linked Hoffa to Robert's Assassination. that the destruction Is the result a kind of censor, screentnq out an opensmoker. Joan Nlxoryhad nocomment. of a series of meteor showers. When asked to comment, Dean Laidlaw said, "Wow, Craig Rae proposes !!!~ti''!:!a!'~ t b f ccsmtc.men." ~dio Station, T. Lee Maxwell Herlocke~1 (sto~y o~ ~r~Vi~Us The same contractors who ~Sg.v2~~~mently opposed. (story page) built the Student Center have even warm up. Mym ", mi$$i Ulrtef$ M~myf Hook,d ry ng q Olonra Thistlewool of Bree Where ti~they go ? Br::~ou~o:~~lctfo~:n~:e~~a~m:~ yet another victim, Dean Mow· Dlonra Thistlewool of Brae bray. The rumours have beenconfirm- Breakout, a cemcuter game, has ed, embezzling, mostly nickel and claimed many victims in recent dime sluff, has been confirmed by months. The Deanhas beenseenin the administration at various cam- the Gameroom at all hours, pock- We Salutelbul pus monetary outlets. ets full of quarters, leaning over The disappearing money, over the evil machine, using language whelmlngly in the form of quart. unbefitting an administrator. Yes ers, is being siphoned off at a slow it is a sad sight Dean Mowbray, a Our special thanks to WMC frats for the best but steady rate. An exact acccvn- mere shell of a man, caught in a ting of the loss is impossible, naverendlnq quest for a double- stocked markets around. The section parties run becausethe moneyseemslobe dis- breakout - something only two of every F~iday and Saturday evening and are within appearing constantly, now totaling the more hard-core cases can staggering distance of most dorms. over 40 dollars. That is a lot ot claim. His eyesight has turned into quarters. a blur of green yellow and red. So When questioned concerning the have pity on our poor Dean, his controversy, Dean Mowbray re. palms sweating, and his brow knit, plied, 'Well at best, you can only and remember . it could happen to get twogamesata time." anyone.