Page 47 - Scrimshaw1978-79

Thursday. December 7, 1978 Scrimshaw page 3 Letter from the Yearbook For Malelf Only Yearbook Problems Explained When is Murder Justified? This only. Most of you have noticed by now the price of this year's book is $15, . made up in Yearbook sales or Females article is for males to read ferent story altogetherl) Jerry & I however, forbidden are have found one method, that the 1978 Yearbook is quite late an increase of 50% over last year's funding. If the SGA makes further, regardless of their natural that hopefully will meet her ap- in arriving. We on the Yearbook $10 price. This dramatic increase debt, the student loses tendency to be nosey. provai. Staff feel that some explanation to represents three things: I) an will be allocated. for After you've been dating her for When it comes time to place the student body is due. It is suf- increase of 7% in the cost of speaker, parties, and other a week or two, there is one Question something over her mouth, try ficient to say that the final deadline publishing the Yearbook; 2) a cut tivities. We hope the deficit will which is invariably asked by all placing your mouth over hers! for the submission of materials of $1,500 (approximately 20%) in made upby Yearbook sales. males. This question is test This method not only keeps her was missed by approximately 21h the Yearbook allotment from the phrased, "How do I get her to shut quiet, but it is much more fun than months this summer. We apologize SGA; and 3) an outstanding debt of her mouth'!" After intensive' any other method we've ever for the inconvenience-but we do approximately $1,500 left by last research, Jerry and ~ have found heard of. Jerry & I highly feel that the 1979 Yearbook will year's Yearbook Staff. This final many methods of attempting to recommend this method to all more than make up for it. factor represents both poor money find silence, only a few of which males, even though it does no manageme-nt by the 1978 editing The 1978-79 academic year has staff and a substantial penalty for worked. is better than the other methods in One of the most used methods been and promises to be a very failure to meet deadlines. These also the least liked among females. guaranteeing complete silence, but .. one at WMC. The changes errors will not be repeated; but we Basically, this method involves who cares? to study'! But what if you want important: the Yearbook is an need the chance to prove it. We do stuffing some article of clothing How do you get complete silence important chronicle of the tran- not intend to leave the same debt, I into her mouth. Although it won't from a female? As Jerry & I have sition. but this goal can be accomplished completely silence her, it will discovered, it is impossible for any only with your support. The facts are simple: if enough yearbooks substantially reduce the volume of female to be silent for more than a are not sold this year, the deficit her vocal protests. Often a sock few seconds. For the male who will increase. The deficit must be will be just the right size (but make wants silence, there are only a lew 7-::--:-:---:--.....:-------------------=~ ~~~eev~::Stw:~:~~~ee to fill the typical options, none of which are likely to follow: happen. Some suggestions ~~r::.e{~r;:~~ that some will be necessary rare ; ~g~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Iernale'slarge unliked method mouth. put disease cords will strike only female tropical 1) Pray which affects Another If it her. is to vocal t immense) a piece of tape over her mouth, tie a gag around it. Like the above or does, hope it is permanent 2) Leave her. She won'! shut up, method, these methods do not but you won't have to listen to her insure complete silence, just a anymore. reduction in volume. 3) If all else fails, shoot her. The biggest problem with the Death is the only way to be sure a above methods is that the female female will keep her mouth shut will most likely no longer speak for more than 5 minutes. Just be with you. (She will never stop sure, when you go to jail, that you speaking, but she may stop don't get stuck with a female speaking TO you, which is a dif- guard. Happily Incompetent ~EFINITEL Y DIFFERENT 113 W. Main St. COLD BEER "At the Forks" GOLD BEER for Westminster This Week's Special 81...1&'& 12·podt *3.25 wi& 1!14 rut -, College ID req~ired" Come down off the "HILL" to: 848-3466 O!let u4 12/16 • ... ".,~. Goldsmiths ~we!l6lV'r~~ ~. . Silversmiths ~e:Y7r~~ MOto_~Sat. .. •· ..~iiine..etr.y:iii1_0f_} ~~ See "S fer that special Chrlstwct,S ·~/~·-----·1-0-·0rc·o-·OF--·F-----:i present. 10% offwTth wmc T.D. eQrcl. DOD Q0tx:l5k~tmart t;i Railroad St. With this ad at: 7 ~QC .At~ljll.O.tree shop ~~~CT "9URUS" '" t ~,?r: %'/$'-177"1' MALL Locust Mall Downtown Westminster