Page 56 - Scrimshaw1977-78

Pilge4 Scrimshaw Friday. December 2, 1977 For Males Onl31 First Get Her to Come Out With You, Then ••• out. One of them will have to sit steeper angle is desire.d, let the air straight in th.e eye (prefer~bly at a ~:~~~~~~e:~~dae~~~~.~i~o~ by Tom and Jerry next to you. However, this method out of the left-hand tires. (If she sto!> SIgn or som~ other point wh~n still want to try to put your arm AITENTION-- This article is for will only work once, since no one still won't slide, try greasing the yo~ .are not acb.vely engaged In around her we would like to males only. Females may not will ever go out with you again. seat.) drIVl~) and asking her, honestly suggest on'e of the following continue, and should turn to some -If it is raining or snowing, roll -Another effective method, and In yo~ o~n words, .to move methods: other article, or maybe even some other page ... Now that all the girls ~~;~~~~~,d~~~ ~~~ ~:~:~~ t~i~ ~~~~~:~on iss~:~ar:,d;~c~~ ~'Jrd:na~ ~~::~~~/s~~ !:l~~~~~ . ar~~:~~n~t~~~~~~~e;~~~u1~~~~ have turned somewhere else for very close to ~ou to avoid getting follows. Place a blanket on the to walk home f~om where.ver· you Effective, but not very original. their entertainment I can talk wet. It is very important, however, front seat (bench type seats only), are. I repeat, t~IS method Involves -Say "Look at that over there" man-ta-man with all of the males that you fix the window beCore you saying the seat covers are ripped too many variables ~o even. be POinti~g out the right rear window on campus. try to ask her ~ut again, especially or some other convincing tale. att~pted by th~ce. A final then just lower your arm until it i~ Let's assume for the moment if you would hke her to say yes. Place hard, lumpy items (such as warning-be prep . d pay t.he around her. (Objects such as dead that you've just picked up your -For those of you who are elec- seatbelt buckles, jar lids, etc.) consequences of ; g honest ~Ith animals bloody accidents or date for a night at the movies. You Ironically gifted, this method is under the blanket everywhere a f~male, becaus~ she i may Just POrI\<)s~ps should not be refe'rred open the door for her, then get in very effective. Simply place a except right beside you. Thus, the decide to walk ho e. . _ to as such objects have con- the driver's side and start the car. s~aker in ~e ?river'~ door and ?nl~eomro~table spot ~or her to s.it -As a last r~sort, 'and qnly as a n~tations not conducive to As you drive, you notice that she's really hugging the far right corner ~~:, thd~s~~~~e~ntto t~~S :~~~. ~~~r~7~~~:0~~T~~e m~~~~~! ~~:d~e~~r~~,th~~;~~hr~d et~!e~ • ~~r;~~~e.) Once again, not very of the seat. Now, what Is the proper volume control knob and reroute females (see, for example, "The dangerous, and you may have to -Say '''Oops you forgot to lock method to get her to slide over and the volume control to a knob placed Princess and the Pea.") face unforeseen consequences your door" ~nd reach over and .s.t next to you? The safest method? near the new speaker. {Make sure -Another method which requires {namely, she may use this method lock it for' her. However, be sure So, for all of you who have come both the speaker and the knob are advanced preparations (this one on you). In a word, the method is that she did forget to lock her door, across this problem, we have out of sight .of your passenger.) for bucket seats) involves the love. Corny as it sounds, if you asreachingtolockandlockeddoor compiled a list of the more ef- Now, by turning ~wn the volume, removal of all the seats except tht! really love her she will eventually lacks style (say that three times fective methods, used and she will have to slide over next to driver's. Thus, she is forced to sit slide over to you of her own free real fast). Somewhat more recommended by experts, in how you in order to hear any music. either in your lap or on the floor. will. Be warned, however, that this original but still not great. to get your girl to sit next to you. Unfortunately, this method only Most girls, if well dressed, would method requires a high level of -Ask her to find a station on the -One of the most well-known works with music lovers, and is not never even consider sitting on the dedication and an even higher level radio, since you can't seem to have methods is the QRHT method. In always effective. floor, so this method is very ef- ...Qf patience. This method is not any luck (note the possible double- other words, the Quick Right Hand -This method has been found fective. However, this is a one- recommended for the novice, and meaning of "not having any' luck") Turn method. This method, though effective in 99 out of 100 cases. It is time-only method, for she wilt-most should be used only with extreme As she bends down to fiddle with generally effective has two (2) very simple and easy to use. Just likely refuse to go out again until caution. the dial, slip your arm behind her. serious drawbacks. First, if you remove the passenger door. Not you replace "her" seat. (Telling Once she is sitting next to you, 'This method is definitely more leave the seatbelts where she can only will she be inclined to move as her that "your" seat is "her" seat here are some tactful ways to get original that the others, and we find them, she may use them and c1!lse to you as possible, but she should be avoided if at all poSSible, your arm around her. Note that the highly recommend it. she won't slide when she's buclded will probably grasp you tightly since it often results in physical problem here is getting your arm Next Week--How to get her to in. Second, if you-have -kin-the- every time you make a sharp left- violence and extreme pain.) around her. Any idiot should know STOP sitting next to you, just in floor (or even 3), the girl.may injure herself during the slide, the ha_;~~~~-ethod requires the T~T~~:~~~~t~~ ~f~:~~:=~~~~l~nc~a~~u I~et~~r:er~, ~~~ case you change your mmd results of which may also be replacement of .the r.ight-hand perfect, and the tone of voice must removes your arm, though, Just' detrimental to your oWn health. shocks with GabrIele HI-Jackers. betray no hint of either ner- think back to the karate demon- -A slight variation of the above The angle of the car should now vousness or cowardice. Basically, strationinGill. If you missed it, the method, sworn to by a friend of cause her to slide over to you. If a this method consists of looking her point we're trying to make is that ours, is the YSTH method. That is, • YouSlid,ToH" Whil,it may be More Scrimshaw News Flashes difficult to drive from the right side of the car, it is possible. However, Phil La Padula senators - part of his army of been unsuccessful. As one source one should be warned in advance Western Maryland CoUege- MooDie "Zombies" which he· hopes commented, "the senators are so that the State Police frown on this The SGA (otherwise known as will one day take over the world. use to taking orders from the South type of behavior. Also, make sure the WMC Gong Show) was over- Thus far, attempts to Koreans, that it's a perfectly her doot. is locked so she doesn't thrown last Monday in a surprise "deprogram" the Senators have natural position for them to be in." fall out while trying to get away military coup d'etat staged by the from you. ROTC department. The coup -Although slightly less subtle began slJortly after 9:00 P.M. when than the above methods, the the SGA was meeting in Baker too. "Grab-and-Yank" method has ROTC, repelling out of helicopters, l been found effective simply by many. her To seized the building and stopped been the law has use this method Marshall grab meeting. hair and drag her over to you. declared on campus. The (Some guys have found this ~~Si?o~~dof~~t~G:r' ir~~~~l~~nd method more effective if the girl is was beheaded in front of Little grabbed around the waist, as less Baker on Wednesday. His head will pain is incurred by both parties.) be displayed on a silver platter in Make sure, however, to protect the cafeteria. The new ROTC "'-,",===7-:---'-',""~,,=c;;-;==,,, .-==:;;1-;;;--:;;;;:=r--r:==:7'''''' certain portions of your body, since "junta" says they will put action many females will react violently back in the SGA. YesterdG.Y, they to any advances, especially those signed Bob Hope to perform at the advances which involve pulling spring concert. their hair or grabbing them in any Washington, Dt'r.. 2- other way. According to a reliable source -Tell her you are prone to (recently committed to the state Sideswiping things on the right mental hospital), the U.S. Senate - side. This method-lS particularly has been bought by the Rev. Sun effective if your right side has Yun "Loonie" Moonie. Moonie indeed been sideswiped, as a would not comment on the _price of dented right door really adds the deal, but informed $500, Tungsen ~~==~=~=:':~=~=::==~~~~=~==~~=~:::::~=;'-'II sources say believability to your story. method Pa~k, includes fI~t round draft - -An extremely effective the deal plus three involves filling the back seat with chOlC~ to be glVe.n to the junk (to prevent her from sitting in Washington plans Redskms. the The r --------.. 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