Page 148 - Scrimshaw1977-78

" ..8 Scrimshaw Friday, May 12, 1978 For Male. Onl;v Contrast Spring Dance Reflections--Excuses, Excuses for Sale by Tom and Jerry CONTRAST, the third and final This article is for males only. 'a daily basis. Secondly, don't over- - My father said I couJdn't go out issue for this year, will be Females may read no further. do it by saying "You touch that with ugly people. (Slight variations published this week. We hope that Jerry and I were pleased to see door and I'D break your arm." A of this excuse include strange everyone will take the time to buy many of you guys at the dance last simply "May I hold the door for people, queer people, and people and read over this last edition. Saturday night. We were, however,' you?" works just as well and who don't use any deodorant). Here, you will find an example of disappointed to see some flannel generates less hostility. ""1can't go that night. I have a test the prose that is rendered shirts and blue jeans (even a pair We also round a new way to get in three weeks that I want to study throughout the college's literary of gym shorts!) at a semi-formal. her to sit next to you. Let go of the for. magazine. The poem, by Jesse dance. We even notice a female in wheel and tell her she has to steer. '- Why should I go to the dance with making his dream come true. Glass, isentitled: a long dress dancing with a guy in She will stop laughing when your somebody Idon't like? P.S. Scrimshaw policy requires Paid Advertisement jeans. Not stylish, guy, definitely car keeps going straight as the Naturally, Jerry and I have a letter to the editor regarding any hungry.-I went to not stylish. road turns, and will slide over never been turned down for any the factory snackbar We learned some important quickly to grab the wheel. Be dates. We've researched our new articles. Jerry and I look put proper amount in seeing a lessons Saturday night. For absolutely certain, however, that targets thoroughly as to boyfriends forward to ONLY column, FOR but coffee machine FEMALES example, when you first see her all nothing is coming the other way back home, checked with roomates none of them females will take the and out came a woman's hand spiffed up, do not say "You look so when you try this method. and close friends of the target, and time to write to the editor, or not dead mind you- nice that I almost didn't recognize. .Walking around campus, Jerry even gone so far as to hire some maybe it's just that they can't could feel its pulse you." When you go out to dinner, and I talked to some of the guys upperclassmen with connections to thru plastic wrapper don't expect her to let you put your who didn't go to the dance to see seek out information. We feel sure write and should be put back in the intrigued Iput kitchen where they belong. steak on a roll and pretend it's a what kinds of excuses the girls on that anyone who has faithfully proper amount in slot Th F hamburger. Finally, try to be a campus gave them for not being read and followed each of our P.P.S. For Males Only is not out fell woman lips " e ro gentleman, but don't overdo it. In able to go. Many of these excuses articles will have no problem in written by the former R.W. ( full and sweet the first place, she might expect were the usu~l, ~-of-the-mill parted in a smile that kind of behavior from your on type excuses, like having-already that day was pay day been asked or going home that soon Iwas up to my hips weekend. Others came up with the in parts last item. The Betes did finish it off fell in love with it all ~':r~:~io~c~r~~~~" ;x~:~ ~'6' themselves-at 1:30 a.m. Monday. slim ankles however, were much more ", It was quite a show-for the 15 or so a pinchable buttock per package females that were-still awake at carted her home ~ri::~::lv:OI~~ ~~~uo~~~ ", that hour. Girls, the next time in my lunchbox who are reading the article (since . "'"" ) you're' in that situation, remember ancipockets all them nosey females have _ these words of the Head Resident quite poor but turned to another article as per J of McDaniel: "Don't let them in, feeling for the first time instructions) will' have some good they're naked!" a woman's heart- excuses ready for the next turn- FOWL PLAY? beat against my own it has Word a Singing around dance. chicken was recently that heard on the and the naughty parts SQUE~K! SQUEAK! first floor of the Preacher section. were a joy -(This one is my favorite) I just The Frog is offering the reward that night got electric lights for my kite and I of a year's subscription to This definitely surprises us, since. Nancy Icall her wanna test-fly it that night. Scrimshaw for- the capture of the although we know the Preachers head rolling on the pillow _ (This is Jerry's favorite) Sorry, mouse in the cafeteria. Yes, we love animals, we didn't think any clutching her seperate limbs but I've gotta take Herman, my pet want to transport that lovable little chicken was allowed into the with Gray's Anatomy goldfish, for a walk in the creature to a new home on the section without having previously spread before me ocean ...He's not housebroken yet, second floor of Elderdice. Perhaps been fried. We only hope that they like The Joy of Sex and 1hate to see him mess up our then the administration will realize don't develop a taste for frog legs. Iwish to thank new rug. that mice can be a problem. Right, SPRING FLING the Mark Vending Company to see is glad The _ My mother might die that night D.R.andS.W.r? everyone Frog enjoyed themselves that at for providing me and Imight have to stay home and WHO WAS THAT MASKED MAN? the quad Party the other week. with this indespcnsible According to informed sources, a What better way to kick off the product. signed, a masked man invaded McDaniel a spring fever season? Well, we can George Quint few weeks ago. No, girls, he wasn't think of a few better ways, but they -Jesse Glass, Jr there to rape and pillage; he was might not survive group par- ticipation. 'We.ene .•• ~:r:~~~~i~: ~~~ra~~o~~ 1i~~ form. Maybe it took an in- Worldwide Opportunities dependent to finish what the Betes "I BRE~AST couldn't. For Students I LUNCIf DINNER CORRECTION spoke too soon on that Whoops, For Subs Pizza • ~.ns.:.u~i:~··Th"".9'7 of the Whole World Handbook, the help in planning your flight trip. to Am- is the newly olf the press Just tells you the Handbook example, and expanded revised fifth edition how to get a cheap or Hong Kong; Daily,Specials' No·...ppo;"Ime»IN"" ........ most complete travel guide abroad to work, sterdam, Nairobi by mail truck in how to travel study ever and Chicken Day·Monday Dinners SPORTSMEN BARBER SHOP written for U.S. students. Scotland; how to get a job bar. Pizza Day· Tuesday _ The 1978-79 edition of the Hand- vesting grapes in France how to 01' working in a London hotel; Spa~eni Day·Wednesday Dinners L "_"·_'_·'_"'_"_"_""_"_':~k,~~~in a~~ar~~~!or~at~~~~ ~~~~~:ro: :~f:b~~m~ i:r~ WlT~N WALKING DISTANCE 7 e.m. prehensive headed rundown globe. in every Sweden or tropical social biology in Costa in of work, study to study how welfare and travel opportunities :r'~------.. Middle go. one there, In addition, from discounts getting get as copies of by the State of of Maryland has Sundays daily except Rica. continent of the Open Ira.m. Whether y~u're The College Activities Office has or ~e fo~.Burope NEWLY R~EMODELED EXPANDED SEATINC, Africa, Asia, Latin the East, CIEE many or Australasia, the book for distribution America publications Route 140 WMC Tops Goal Westminster :~br:,ud~~d~e:,:~~h":t~n~! 848-9110 save money you're place and Maryland from College to another Western matched Irom student benefit bin a bond $500,000 you'Jl granted you readers' insights special 1976, for academic facility in April, HOVS'IOF I ~ LIQUORS improvements. The bond bill required Western book-describing such adventures Carroll PlaIa Shopping Center to match as camping Maryland in Morocco, the grant trekking overland to Nepal, I order from 848.1314 ~ • • quotes that appear Europe throughout South the I Iconversion to receive the funds interior for the in of island-hopping of the in • , ' Special of the Week! I , Pacific, exploring the Amazon IAlumni Hall to a performing ~ts _Bring this ad with yo_ufor: River by boat, living with a Iamilv . center. A $100,000 gift from a trustee in Japan or bargaining for a camel the college "over the top" on the put ride in Egypt. 'I , Offer r2-oz. cans sr.79 '- ,. listings new Handbook BOO U.S. $3.4 million center capital campaign, titled ' I ,~Budweiser fund program ..._.._---_..... REID -- unl vet-sity- in 87 countries around in- "Challenge College Center will open in expires which began early in 1976 with the includes The than college of more May r r : • Thursday, study sponsored was I." 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