Page 50 - TheGoldBug1954-55

K Gipe Questions Prof's·Opinion That Advertisers Grieve E E Class Discussions Outmode Lectures Cigarillo Rating-A P P in-cheek variety in quite a while. His absence ,,'om the feature King Edward Cigar aUC1npt at satire of the tongue- This is George Give's fi1'st I 0 page of the GOLD BUG is dM in part to extrineic literary John H. Swisher. and Son, Inc., Jacksonville, we may expect, nature, NS efforts of a much more demanding to again present the following but Florida, manufacturers of King Edward cigars nevertheless we may feel pleased and allied tobacco products are in trouble. We gems that G T humorous Bssay 1vhich illustrates coUege students. 0/ wisdom spring have received at this desk in recent weeks a communication fTO~ the 1lUJuths of ba,bes--and agency in from our advertising E The Great Man stood before the eager stu- A. Gipe are no good anyway," hissed Paul ~::ta;~:kpl~g~to:~~:e:S~b~i~~;e~:ta~~~~i:~:~ B1/ George above. "Carrots D dents prepared He deferred speech for just the Flummery from the rear. ward people advertised in the GOLD BUG and the day's topic for It seems that to announce some weeks ago the King Ed- discussion. "Yeah. Where I come from, they get all pulpy right int:rval-Time ha~ taught him how to ~ter only a day or two," agreed Howard Bull. some 450 other collegiate newspapers what they handle TIme-and then, like the doors of a tem-, There was a pause. "It's probably because of considered to be a rather lucrative essay con- Spring Is Here pie, the Great Mouth opened and he spoke: those atomic blasts," Barbara Rant said finally. test. But unfortunately what has happened is "Today we shall talk about the characters in "I think we should ban them." that instead of the hundred thousand anticipat- Spring is II good time to survey- the campus the novel by Henry James." "They could wipe out Humanity," cautioned ed entries being received, just over sixty have scene and note past, present and future events And,~aving hurled the meat into their midst, Ernie Twaddle. turned up, and John H. Swisher and Son, Inc. and improvements. (That is if you have the he retired to the side to watch the student wolf "How about lemons?" someone asked. commence to realize that response is coming up time with umpteen zillion activities scheduled pack fall on, and tear apart, the helpless sub- Ernie Twaddle frowned. "I don't see how they well under par. between now and final exams.) ject, as indeed they always did. could wipe out---" The essay contest is of this nature: write an First, congratulations and best wishes to Betty Eliluvium started it. "I think, I really "Yeah, lemons get pulpy, too," said Howard essay, 250-500 words on this subject, "How I Bruce Price 'and Charlotte Ridgely who last do, think the characters are alive, honestly." Bull, his voice merging with the bell; the in- Would Increase the Popularity of Cigarillos", Wednesday were installed as president and "I think the characters represent Humanity," tcresting, if torrid, class discussion was over. the cigarette-like cigar. Attach to it a band vice-president of the SCA. said Ernie Twaddle, pushing sincerity to the As the students filed from the room, Carole from one of any cigarillos (they cost four cents Also eong-ratulut.icns to the newly vested sen- limit. Bushwa stopped before the Great Man's desk. apiece) and mail it to Swisher, Box 3097, Jack- ior class. It. won't be long now. Lantern Chain, "Could I ask a question?" interjected Ada "I think these discussions are wonderful, simply sonville. First prize is $500; second prize, $200; Rose Cup, the President's Reception, the Alum- Bombast. "Do you think that because the char- wonderful," she gushed. third, $100; four prizes of $50 each. Contest ni Banquet in their honor, and that long last acters are alive to «s, they are alive to every- "Well, Miss Bushwa," said the Great Man closes April 30, or Saturday of this week. official march down the Alumni Hall aisles: one, even the lower intelligence brackets?" modestly. "They help the students get a better Although the GOLD BUG does not necessert- We're going to miss them. "You mean like Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig grasp on the course and its meaning." ly seek to implore its readers to consume tobac- would be to kids," suggested Howard Bull, with Another professor from across the hall en- co products, we may suggest that here is some- It's clean-up and repair time. Did you notice that the ruts in the campus roadway are gone? a smirk. tered, and interupted the conversation. "Good- thing of an opportunity going to waste. If they Spring is the only feasible time to renovate the Carole Bushwa raised her hand, and spoke ness, you were having such a riotous discussion receive only seventy entries, the odds against road, so the Administration tells us. Seems like without waiting for the formality of being call- last period! Such interested students! Tell me- winning are only 10-1, which is an exceptional- expansion and contraction during the summer ed on. "That's nothing to laugh at, Howard. what was your topic?" Iy low figure in lotteries of this type, as bettors and winter months puts some pretty bad cracks Because they fullfill a deep need, Bugs and The Great Man started to load his briefcase, will kAow. We suggest you give it a try-post- in it. Porky are genuinely alive in children's minds, but he answered without the slightest hes'ita- haste. and therefore they are true characters at any tion. "Henry James," he said. -W.F.M. - The Robinson Garden walk has been fixed as level." was petitioned for. An extra row of stone slabs "I think they represent Humanity," said makes meeting and passing easier. Ernie Twaddle. Bugs Bunny is a Contributions Fill Poet's Corner As Bald spots on campus are beginning to sprout "You honestly believe that grass around the "Please" signs. We don't know real living character, Carole?" asked Peggy to whom to give c~edit for this idea, but it was a Fustian, unbelievingly. good one. "Sure, Peggy," interrupted Barbara Rant, Students Are Moved Esthetically Mother Nature is also making II few improve- "I don't see why not. He's a humorous, interest- ments of her own. Gee, it's nice to see the trees ing, and good person, even if he is a rabbit." Here is a poem which speaks in its alliterative To seek a place and cry for grace, and flowers in bloom again. A round of ap- "Good?" sneered Howard Bull, "he steals El- way a fear which has been expressed often by Shrieking his ignorance. plause is due the gardeners who keep out weeds mer Fudd's carrots every season. Is that good? many persons in recent years, although in much Long had she taught; long had 8he eeen: the and cut the grass. There was an excited underbreath in the more mundane .language. Dr. Einstein some millery of man. Yes, Spring is a good time. classroom. Immediately the student mass was' years ago was asked what type of war he Not one 8orrow had ~he for him, thi8 Devil's divided into II pair of rival factions-the Pro- thought World War III might be; what type of courtesan. Bugs Bunnys, and the Anti-Bugs Bunnys. weapons did he think might be in vogue. And Contempt she felt; to each she dealt History Pauses Tempers grew white-hot as the rabbit was al- jhese things the late scientist would n.ot.venture A blow to cl'USh the soul. ternately praised and verbally degraded. upon. However he ventured the opinion that Before her stepped a fresh new shade, nor knelt The events of the past few weeks will fill Then the Great Man interrupted: "I don't 'Vorld 'Val' IV would be a bow and arrow war, as otnere had; many pages of future history books. mean to take sides," he said," but we must rc- with men hurling rocks in lieu of guided mis- Resplendent in its purity; in light thill shape One can't help feeling that a great era is member that arabbit is not like a squirrel. A ales. We may read this poem thoughtfully, for was clad. closing with the retirement of Winston Church- squirrel lives on acorns which can be preserved it is food for thought, and be regretful that our There straight and bold in flesh and. fold ill and the death of Albert Einstein and the be- through the winter, while the rabbit has no ,- anonymous contributor remains so. The God of all did stand. ginning of a new one is already unfolding with such food." , The S1:bylleaped from off her throne and flung 'TIL Dr. Jonas Salk's discovery of the polio vaccine. The class fell on this chunk of information \ Men's minds mince mighty problems; aw~y her gra1'ns, We, who are living in this age of statesman- with blatant eagerness. Pro-Bugs Bunnyites Tm'Ue slowness tackles tensions taunt; And, shriveling into nothingness, she cried o'er ship and discovery, can well wonder what the tried to show the rabbit pathetically starving Ticklish triu'mphs turn the teaming tide; her her remains, future will hold. during the winter, but the Anti's still pictured 'Til ... 'Til ... 'Til. "NQW to my bier for He is here War has become a dangerous business. The him as a disgusting glutton. "I think," said Bl-ing the b1'ain that beats the bombast; To purge me of my lies! ARNOLD B. CHAPIN shadow of the hydrogen bomb has wrapped Peggy Fustian above the tumult, "that Elmer Blast the bartered being's boast; One might think the poem' below were the around us like a blanket of fear. Will man de- Fudd could help both himself and Bugs if he Break the beastly bested bordm'; work of a nostalgic alumnae; instead it is Mar- stroy himself? would plant the carrots closer together." 'Til ... 'Til ... 'Til. ilyn Rigterink who proclaims in a rather start- And yet while one fear casts man's soul in "They're not supposed to be planted closer Damage doubting dotage curses; ling way, "1 am the Ivy". And "';'hen one reads darkness, another has been cast from him. Fu- than a foot apart," hurled Ada. Bombast, and DMh the daring damning preaoher; through this poem, written in a melodic free ture generations may no longer need the iron vehemence again prevailed. Immediately the , Defy Divinity's dangling dare; verse, he realizes how one might feel upon leav- lung or special braces which symbolize one of class was divided into a pair of rival factions, 'Til ... 'Til ... Til. ing the college he has loved for the uncomprom- the most dread diseases of our day. the Pro-Planting-Carrots-Closer, and the Anti- Quicken instinct's doglike teethil1g; ising life of the outside world. We have read it Some may ask what does this have to do with Planting-Carrots-Closer. Quench the dropping red-stained thirst; and we wonder, how many of us face Com- us? We are 'the generation who soon will take "I' think the carrots represent Humanity," Quell the quaking clapping thunder; mencement as an end rather than a beginning? over the reins. From our ranks will come the said Ernie Twaddle, almost weeping with avow- '. 'Til ... 'Til ... 'Til. ANONYMOUS I AM THE IVY Winston Churchills, Albert Einsteins, and Jonas Arnold Chapin, the midshipman emeritus who lam the ivy. Salks' of tomorrow. 'Ve are the generation who has been a frequent and well-received contri- I cling to walls of gray alld red, and to snow will decide whether or not there will be a tomor- Civil Defense Alert , butor to this page in recent weeks, has spent white pillars. my com- PronounceclSuccess many thoughtful hours in the engrossing poems I wind the feet way along walks worn smooth by pany of Dr. Ridington. of young His provocative j"with the mythological bent have evoked a sur- Men alld women who seek 1.-nowledge from books Thought For Today By Gus D. Lamar prising degree of response. Below he paints an and life. Counting all the angles, yesterday's campus- iliteresting Christian adventure, which came to My leaves turn brown with the cheering voices wide Civil Defense air raid practice alert was our desk, incidentally, bearing the appendage, And burning fires of autumn. Mother: I don't want my son to be a soldier! quite successful, as far as it went. Char Eggan, "from the Apostles' Creed: 'He desccnded into 7'hey are green again when the soft, sweet Colonel: Is he in the ROTC? Student Civil Defense Director for Western Hell. ... breeze of spring Mother: Yes, I'm afraid he is. Maryland, made a complete report on the drill CHRIST AND THE SIBYL Blows the hair of yoltng friends who walk on Colonel: Don't worry. to the Student Government cabinet last night. The Sibyl of the ages sat -in glo'r'll throned soft, new grass. Co-operation, which is the really necessary around Illy vi1w sways to the flowing 1Jwsic of a spring thing in something like this, was almost per- 7'0 answer questions of the shades assembled on cotillon THE GOLD BUG fect---much better than was cxpeeted at first. the mound. Or the majestic march of yOWlg bcaldy, The best shelter were those plac~ she scanned areas observed Official 'tud~n'" n~...'p.pe. of W tern Maryland Col- in Albert Norman, Blanche Ward, and McDan- F1'01n her high was her gaze. each face, Down a long expanse of green grass and white, A nd anxious lights. flickering l"ll'e. pubH.hed .eml_montbly on Tu dBY, durinli: Oetober, Novemb~. JBnuary, F~bruary, Ma".,h and April, and iel Hslls, probably because the shelters in those ~'or aeons she had taught t.hem all the secrets of I flutter a welcome to young men and women monthly during September. December. and May. Entered AI .econd "laQ matter .t W... tmin,ter Poat Oll'lee, under buildings are in better condition and are more the One, With shining eVes and faces. the Act of March S, 1879. comfortable for a prolonged stay. The student And each newall-knowing soul had turned from I am water6d by the sweet tears of youth Member CD personnel who were on the ball the whole her with a moan., In its homesickness, triumphs, defeat8 and good- Associated Collegiate Press time were the ;ight boys in the white hats-the byes. ~ Auxiliary Police, who directed and controlled the Military building, but nothing has been I grow with the loving service which springs Subscription Price $2.00 a Year the movement of both automobiles and people. settled about the problem, yet_ from a deep welt "- EDITORIAL STAFF Of course, a few bad points were noticeable Through no fault of Les Werner, who stead- Of loyalr.y and friendship and understanding. Editor_in_Chlef~ KBY Mehl. in this first alert, and recommendations have fastly manned the alarm system in Dean I am dlttchel by all, but by some more tightly. Man~sing Editor .__ L... Werner, New. Editor" NBnCY Willi., already been submitted to the SGA i~ order to David's office, the bells, which sounded the I am the ivy, Feature Editnr ;. Pat Richter. clear up a few things. alert, were slightly fouled up in Science Hall And I twine forever around the hearts of those ~';,!'!"F~~:::.~-Ed;;:;;:;===---=.==_ The shelter area in McKinstry (the long and were almost inaudible in Old Main. Many Who have held the vine for these four, too CBrtnnniBt_. . _ storage room in the basement) was locked and students did not know what the alarms meant, too quick years. Typins ;__ _ inaccessable. So about 50 people were packed and had to be directed by wardens and Auxilia- Now it i8 spring and the g'rass g'rows green. ~~~utf::tnl""i"lanL::__=__=_.=__--::=_. into the GOLD BUG office, unable to move ry Police. Outstretched hands 1'each out to tear a leaf Photo,;rtpby_. . _ further. One big problem was that some faculty mem- from, my vine BUSINESS STAFF The Old Ward shelter area proved inade- bers were not aware of what was taking place, And now they press it to them dearly, Bu.in",," Maualrer ~ Bob Crulb. '66 AdvertIsing Manager Earie Finley, '57 quate, and plans are being made to set up an and were unable to direct students to ~helter 1<'01'it gives them C01trage for their new begi1!- Glrculation .Ron Wilaon, '67 ning. f;x"h'nge ..Lmnda Skinner. '51 alternate shelter area. Best bet for this is under areas, nor even go there themselves. MARILYN RIGTERlNK