Page 22 - TheGoldBug1953-54

2 The Gold Bug, Dec. 15. 1953 ViewJ, dJ._ l;'")~gehis are for many.not present or con- Dr. Kerschner does? Students feel "taxpayers." best friend's death.) sidered desirable. that her attitude is a friendly one Before coming to the hill, in Sep- Jt is true that at Christmas men because she uses first names, which tember, 1952, Dr, Kerschner's voca- I stepped behind the Christmas tree "No dice, Robert." 1 was thinking them coming. I hated are more apt to be kindly disposed to ere so often forgotten by college pro- tional experiences were quite varied. when I heard little laughs. They were of Butch, my best friend. I silently fessors. their rotten each other than at any other time, Lives Off Campus Between Hoed College and graduate two six-year old kids. Two stinking, pulled a glass Christmas ball off the and that families want to be together school, the Dupont Company in New tree. "Open you mouth, Robert," and that we are less reluctant to aid While at Western Maryland, in- Jersey claimed her as a chemist. Dur- rotten kids. Rotten. 'I'hey were so He did. I shoved the ball inside. the needy. But in spite of those mani- stead of living on campus, Dr. ing graduate school her summers rotten they stunk. It made me gag to Then I forced upward on his jaw like festations of good will the tr-ue mean- Kerschner lives on the Reisterstown were spent in Wood's Hole, Mass. think of them. I wanted to rush from a viee and held, feeling him shudder ing of Christmas is disguised behind Road in the Owings' Mills area. This Following a short stay with the behind the tree and latch onto little in agony, hearing the glass break and as it has set-up advantages many with windpipe Robert's both hands He smiled a his throat. tinkle-down the tinsel and trimmings that now go enables her to enjoy one of her hob- and squeeze until my fingers touched grisly bloody smile and feU on his with the day. bies-raising a garden-which she and blood ran out his eyes. Then I'd face. I chuckled. Elsie next--for you, For many Christmas has be- says amounts to just about a "truck laugh. I'd jam my fingers into his come "Xmas." Not that this is patch." mutilated sockets and shove, feeling Butch, for you. only an easier way to 'Write it, the warm gore over my I turned at the sound of footsteps. cascade which it is, but mainly that the She doesn't mind the rather long knuckles. That's what I've wanted to Elsie was facing me with a tempting X equals an unknown quantity, ride to and from campus either, as air. "Santa," she gushed. "I've been and speaks the -mind of many she really enjoys driving and taking do for a year. A year /tinc6 little Rob- waiting for YO\l." She moved aloser hlul little- cnt "Up my and ert ltnfttSI.ened and Ela-ie 07~her 0'1'6"7"- strap the people. That the day has come to ~~e:~.~~~~~:~Yofi~e~e~'O~~~eth:~;~ best friend, B1ttch, u_lId put hi1l~ il~ aIls. "I believe in you, Santa," she be considered in this light is satne prof collects specimefla from their Ch1"istm.us stoclcings. continued warmly. what causes the great commer- ponds and gardens. One of her inter- Elsie was a smart babe. She knew cial come-on of the stores. That ests totally unattached to biology is Crazy Pigtails I knew. She wanted to trap me into is why we feast and possibly ca- music; while working near Baltimore This broad Elsie was really only forgetting about Butch. But I rouse rather than worship and she was a member of the Handel 5% years old. She was a doll, though. wouldn't. Still, she was - beautiful, praise on this occasion. For the Choir there. She had million-doUar pigtails, the throbbing, inviting. I knew if I kept great masses of people the Xmas kind that men like to stare at, and prevails rather than the Christ Majored in .Zoology she didn't mind showing them off. She looking at her I'd lose control arms of her ge8tl~Ted myself. She with mas. Dr. Kerschner began her higher wore those tight-fitting snow suits a1!d ttonchu.fantly kicked off her May the real blessing of the real learning at Hood College, where she that made me think of the curves in gaiters. Her kindergarten sweater Christmas-Christ_be ours for a received her A.B. degree while ma- the Pennsylvania Highway, or even dung tightly to her form, beautiful, JUerry Christmas. joring in zoology. She continued her Maryland Truck Route No. 27D, al- education by attending graduate throbbing, inviting. school at the University of Pennsyl, D7·. Jean Km'sehner ternate, near Manchester. Don't get. Closer She Stepped I've Two Bouquets ... the idea she was easy though. punk I withdrew a Browning Automatic seen her crack e. fresh many biology department of the Elmira with a panda bear and really mean it. Rifle from my bag of gifts and loaded Two recent innovations in col- College, her next title was "histolo- a full clip. Elsie licked her lips pas- lege administrative services are gist" at the Army Chemical Center Elsie had gone with my best pal, sionately. She 1""etlwved a sock alld worth noting. Both are good. in Edgewood, Md., where she did Butch. She'd ditched him, though, showed me her com.pletely nude foot, A couple of necessary func- by Hal"rifJtt Cooley more research work. Then last year when Butch had run into a little hard beautif!d, th1"()bbing, inviting. tions on campus are registration SGA S""I"('Iru-y WMC beckoned and Histologist luck by having his allowance cut off. "You killed Butch," r forced my- each semester, and meals each The first quarter's over and Kerschner came to us as an assistant That had hurt Buteh. It does some- self to say. It was hot, sticky. Elsie day. it's time out for a glance at the professor of biology. thing to a guy to see his best friend was so close I could sense the warm Second semester registration, which past and a look to the future. Naturally Dr. Kerschner has high hurt. Butch was a pal. My best pal, pulsations of her body, beautiful, was held last Friday, was very well The past held much excitement hopes for the future. Before entering a real fr-iend, I think he was my best throbbing, inviting. She started to handled. Those who went by Alumni and hard work in connection graduate school she wished to prae- friend, even. Was, he was my best entwine her dl"11!$ about my neck. Hall later that afternoon avoided the with Homecoming. Many thanks tiee veterinary medicine. Her love of friend, even. Yes, he 1.110.8 my best That was it. I pulled the trigger. rush and were finished with a usually go to those who did the work to animals has created the desire in her friend, that's what he was. I liked After one long symphony of sound, grueling task in a matter of min- make the great day a success. to raise dogs, after- she has become-- Buteh. Vengeance Is Mine the BAR elip was elnpty and Elsie utes. The only congestion was around In case you hadn't noticed, there is aa she puts it-"independently was staggering backward with a score fifth-period time, when the tables a new group on the hill, under the wealthy." Now I've come back to avenge you, of slugs in her abdomen. Quickly I were rather crowded for a while. SGA., known as the Booster Commn- Butch. They'll die just as you died, loaded a new clip and pumped twenty ..oUter tbat, we understand, the rest tee. Their job is to try to "becst" the Butch. I'm going to cut them up into more shots into her. She started to of the day was quiet, orderly, and school spirit with pep rallies a11d the De Mouse Et Man little bits and deposit them in their fall to the fleer. She had time to aak easy. We hope the faculty members like. They need your help! own Christmas stockings. It was too me one question before she died . didn't get too tired sitting there all Another new idea is that of hoJdblg Since M. Piltdown has met a six- late for revenge when I got back to "How far .. , How far does the op- that time, though. seasonal awards assemblies to give spoked tumbril and a rusty guillotine, the North Pole last Christmas; so erating rod {Jf that rifle move to the All in all. regist.ration was quite early reeognition to fall athletes. The I can now reveal my too-long con- they were safe for a year. But now rear before initial extraction etarts?" painless and quite well done. We ap_ first of these was today. cealed, impatient theory concerning they're gonna both know how it feels She gasped weakly. I could read the pro,'e. It is our hope that the new jukebox the inu identiy of humanity's "miss- to have an icepick rammed up their torture in her eyes. Something else that was well- system in. the ree room will be in- ing link", spines, ripping out the nerve ganglia "Five-sixteenths of an ineh," I 1"e- handled was the noon-time meal stalled by the time we return from 'Tis tlle mouse. but by bit. Next I'll shred tlt6ir lIMes plied. last November 25. That was the the holiday. Th1s will give dancers in Realizing that many an aspiring, 1!Jitl! the! 8teak te71.de1~6"I",~hrn 8/love day we went home for Thanks- the rec room aceess "to the records a~pirined male has wandered to the Ihem, b)·ai111t /il·st, into the miX11uUltor giving holiday. from the Grille. icebox for a sliee of cheese, after be- and t!(!"1tit ,m full blast. Robert THE GOLD BUG Lunch that Wednesday was on One of the SGA's projects-the res- h!g challenged with that seven mono- Elsie left the room. Little a come - between - certain - hours toration of Carpe Diem-is already syllabic question by some dame fatale, was alone. r stepped {Jut and grabbed basis, and the system was re- on the administration's list or repairs. I am reminded of the most conclusive his right ear tighUy. "Don't yell," I ceived with lots of approval. We hope to see it. fixed in the near evidence I have upon which to base hissed, ripping it off. He didn't say a Be nice if breakfast-eould be $erved fulure. my theory. (The theory being-that thing. He knew. "Don't, santa!" he t.hat way every day, wouldn't it? There are lots more things only a small trap separates mao from pleaded, "I'll cut you into my allow- Drawbacks there, though, we under_ that could be done, but our thir- mouse. The two of us have exchanged ance. It's gone UIl to $.75 a week." Member stand, are that a small number of teen heads (one apiece) can't gmtuities over the years--the mouse Auocllted (011"91.t* Prell waiters had to work awfully hard, think of all of them. Let's spot- im:lpiring Broadway pipers to fame and that pJates had to be kept hot for light the STUDENT in SGA-u by leading them out of an overrun a long period of time. Also, there you have any good ideas, sug- town; and 11111.ncontributing a lone, wilsn't any way to serve seconds. gestions or gripes, tell your rep- comforting gUt to his evolutionary Breakfast that way every day resentat.ive or bring them your- cousin: ","Ve, too, leave tracks in the would be nice, though, the GOLD self to the meeting. Make the snow."): BUG says wistfully, new year a good one! Tale Curls The end of the year was proving to be a lepto$omic one for a eertain do- Process Project. mestic mouse under that front door The annual time for one of our Underclassmen Edit mat in New York. It seemed that ev_ had ganged aglay his best- erything pet projects is coming up.. _ Juniors, sophomores, and laid plans-the outside door and the One of the more unpleasant tradi- freshmen have written and entrance to the dining room (his win- tions of the holiday season may well edited this issue of the GOLD l!!l" quarters) had been locked prema_ be the widespread open palm on ev- BUG, seniors taking their tra· turely that autumn-leaving him as ery street corner, but some of them ditionai Christmas rest. out aa a brief candle. Consequently, are w{Jrth dropping a. Workhlg under the super- he had had to resort to using a cel- coin or two into. We IIlIOtOfotalS vision of Gus LaMar on this is- lar's window and steps in order to think one of the most II sue are Cal·ol Coleman as man- gain enrallC<>:to the kitchen for food. aging editor, Pat Collins and Not only was this ineonvenient and ~7.i~:~ia:; f~~:-r:'~~l: _ .Mary Lee Younger as news edi- degl"ading (associating with all the year is the March of .... tors, George Gipe and.Bill Trib- lower help)_he just couldn't stand Dimes, to fight infan- by as featUre editors, Sports that drop from cellar window to cellar tile paralysis. ediwr, Lea \Verner, and Mary- floor very many more times. Jallllal·Y 2 to 31 lAHUUT'l.ll lin Goldring and Kay Mehl as ru·e the dates of the news-feature editors. Feudal Dews ]954 March of Dimes campaign. Taking over the post of busi- As you may have guessed, it was We're not going to expound at ness manager is former adver- Chl"istmas Eve when events and ideas length on the importance of this tising manager Jim Man:,hall, came to a head, You see, it's an an- nual 'mouse on the night tradition, and Craig Schmall remains in to Christmas, before the pl·ovide ~~V~a\~l~a!~~ir;;~r~hatov~~~t~o~~ charge of Exchange and Circu_ house owner ".-ith a pound of cheese rible ruse-ase, because everybody lation. -to be used, by this owner, dUring kno;,vs about it. Many former GOLD BUG the coming year, to bait traps; and, 'Ve're just going to urge: give a staff writers will remain, joined by mice. to have gay sport, for twelve dime (or two or three dimes) to the by several new freshmen staff months, watching gifted landlords Why aren't you speaJdng to me, Fred? 195J March of Dimes. January .2 to writers, look forlornly at a trap which is never Are you mad at me, Frecl? 31. (Continucd Ir(}f'll page 2, col. 3) Did you Bnd Helen have a fight?