Page 50 - TheGoldBug1952-53

2 The Gold Bug, April 28, 1953 ~1'CVVOt\.~!'t;;Short Stor~ -- The Way Of A Man Tc,.;5 by Ken Ruehl '{~ (~ .P1! P Professor Jordo~ of the Spanish, de- P~'ofessor Jordon was prou~ of this ..~-~ \ (. 0 partment eased himself slowly mto pUP1!. A symbol of all that 18 young 1 ~ /:.1' \.....~~~ ~ ~~-- ~~~a:,Ofrie~~new~t~~~:i~d t!:::a~~k~ ~::s C!:~~h;h:a:e:hb~eo~:h :: :;~::~~ It Happened ... I ~~dP:~~~~~~m~n~:~i~e~e!::a~~ofi~~uh~~ :~~ ~:l::e~r:j:;i~:-:~~:~dh!h::~n~ Often-repeated rumors of the familiar dunhill. A soft breath of his daily life at college. He motioned past have at last become a reali- fresh air could be felt within the to the girl at the dose of her reading ty with the disclosure yesterday classroom, The sky was blue overhead and began to speak. that the Westminster Theologi- and it was about this time of year "That was very fine, Miss Adams .. cal Seminary had been sold to that the geese began their long flight Perhaps you'd care to tell the class Western Maryland College. south. just what you think of this story ... " The announcement made by "Man," he thought. "It's good to be An Honest Answer Bishop G. Bromley Oxnam mere. alive.... Reckon I'm one of the luck- "Professor, I think the idea ot read- ly put an official stamp on a iest fellows in the world today. Fine ing about such people as these, is transaction which most people job, beautiful campus and hours of simply a waste of time. What do foul- on the Hill already considered free time to myself ... just huntin', smelling peasants like Poquito Ca- fait accompli. Its effects, how- flshin', and Iyin' in the sun ... " milia, Pablo the rug weaver, and From across the campus, a soft bell ever, should be far-reaching. commenced to toll and Jordon knew Rosita, have to do with us? Low bred individuals as these, are as far apart Although the actual transfer that his daydreaming had come to an from us as sugar is from salt .. , . of the seminary will be delayed end. Speaking fill' myself, I tor one, would for sometime, pending the build- Enter a Doll be glad to see the world rid of such ing of a new one at American Patricia Adams, her arms loaded scum!" U., at least some tangible pro- with diverse varieties of books, glided Jordon's. eyes narrowed at these gress on the Mid-century Build- smoothly into Spanish 301-ten min- words. His thoughts flew back to the ing Campaign can be commenc- utes late. Her blond hair was touseled year 1937-Spain_the Civil War_ ed. . slightly by the Montana breeze and He saw once again the sacred, pitful Now the much-discussed men's her blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight. faces of the Spanish folk as they dorm can be moved from the "Well, good morning, prtmedonna. threw out their arms to welcome him, realm of the drawing-board in- Glad to have you among our group He saw the innocent children, the to the construction stage. FOMn- this morning. Would you be so kind as mothers as they whispered softly, ." Enter Springtime -- With Birds and ing a third side to a proposed to begin translating 'EI Pobre Peon' "God bless you, Americano .• for us?" quadrangle, presently consist- He felt again the comradeship of the I don't know to what extent your of Corette. This is her wedding eve. ing of Albert Norman Ward and The girl began _!.Oread. In tones of men about him, the laughter, sorrow, father went with you in that talk "Only a floor away, in the dim-lit, Gill Gymnasium, the new male freshness and beauty, her voice the warmth of wool against the skin; about the Aves and the Apis, but this cellar of the hive, floating on Amon- quarters calls for a duplication hummed on. Every word, every accent he saw the people as they were pushed writer is contemplating the refund. tillado and nitre chips, the prospective of its predecessor, ANW, on was perfect in elocution ... as a mat- back-always toward Madrid and de- ing patronage of the complaint de- bridegrooms are trying to commit sui- property formerly belonging to ter of truth, she made no miatakes-c, feat. Once more he was stumbling partment. cide with fly paper. These are the the seminary. that was her way of doing things- along the trench tops. A bullet whiz- "All's happy in the hive in Bee- third and fated group-e-the drones. whether it be swimming in a glacier This transition, when it comes lake or dancing to the music of Tom, zes from out of nowhere and the lean burg, US.A.-it's 95· in the shade, "And, what's so fated about that sprawled into effect, should do much to my Dorsey, she was faultless in all soldier finds himself leg beneath in a the government just lifted the ban on existence?" him. heap, a fractured alleviate the present traffic her performances. A thoroughbred The hours drag by, pain increases wax barrels, and honey is dripping "Nothing, my son"-and that's problem caused by lack of facili- through and through. with each pulse throb, and his mind mucilagely from the gooey depths of where Dad stopped the Band B, ties to accommodate the mid- becomes delirious. Suddenly the Cell Block ·No. 70113. Pollen sifts man-to-man, conversation. If yours did week influx of seminary stu- figure of a scrawny hunchback ap- across the floor and under the rugs as the same, then read on, men, you can dents who are absent during the Expert Answers pears, garlic-scented, covered with a steady roar is heard approaching be saved even this close to June. weekends. grime and sweat, the teeth in total the solitude of this conical palace. A Invest.igafing- Committee's Report mass of brown and yellow streaks, day dawns better housing and greater free- Dear John Notes absence. But the appearance of Pre- like Tuesday morning's eggs, flies in, team of fifteen drones-lined on a track The next With these things in mind, up to to the nando de Scala brings tears don: from congestion, WMC eyes of the young man, tickles the clovered walls of the hive, pursue a veil-trailing queen, cireling and finally settles down to a quiet eve- bids a premature adieu to her All q~e~tions sent in a~d atta~hed Parting In Sadness ning with the three sexes: m's, f's, Cleopatronizingly above. The one to sister institution, realizing that to somethmg hockabla will be glVen" At last comes the news ot the de- and neuters. Those you see squatting win the race, with H.M.s. as the goal the change will be for the mu- a definite, or indefinite, answer by feat and the hasty farewell .. Hands neuterly on the caps of the honey post, marries her. Then, follows the tual benefit of the parties' in- college expert, John Pegler, B.A., of warmth and kindness grip in good- blocks, with carefree, nectar-caked, shortest honeymoon on the statute volved. B.C., A.C., D.C., and % of a C.O.D. bye-kisses and embraces of the small stupid faces, are the workers - the records. For, (and I reserve this Dr. Pegler is a noted authority on all children as they say goodbye to the most ignorant and the most contented space, and make the description in the Play Ball, , , geographical, mathematical, and ethi- tall fighter, and the long voyage home . (for SOcan hour you'd be neuter to01. past tense, so as not to infringe on cal problems as a result of his trip the copyrights my good friend of to Montana and life anew. over the Arctic in a weather balloon. Buzz Songs Erskine) as soon as the- race is won, The Terror baseball team He can also speak French in nine dif., Jordon's eyes relaxed once again, Far down the petalled corridor and the orchid and prayer book cere- seems to have been sold short ferent languages. wrinkles of humor and mellowness re- come the sultry strains of the na- mony completed, down from the in its recognition, or rather lack Q. Dear John; turned, and a slow smile crept across tional anthem: "Buzz me honey, with clouds spins a lifeless, track-shoed, his mouth. of such, in the Baltimore S1{,n- I am a junior named Myrtle Furg, "If you'll remain a few minutes the swish, swack, swoop; And we'll mission-accomplished jumble of an- papers of late. Now it's true the neck 41", bust 36", waist 65", and after class, Miss Adams, I'd be most 'seventh-green_it' in a loop-the-loop." tennae and wings - the winning local nine has not been setting hips 87". That's my problem. happy to tell you about these inferior Blushing there in her rcbeless splen, drone. the league on fire, but they have -Slovenly yours folk." dor is the queen bee----Iousywith ser- That's the male. been coming through with some A. Dear Myrtle; vants, aerosol bomb tops, and a copy pretty good ball games-al- Your problem doesn't quite come Drones Sit Alone though last Saturday's play was into clear focus. Are you perturbed Flitting and gliding, buzzing in not indicative of their normal about your name? I'll admit that figure "eights" and do-ce-dos, flies the calibre. Myrtle FUrg isn't the sweetest sound- queen - a five-second bride and a Choice example for this dis- ing name in the w;orld, but it could three-second widow. That's the female. tent was voiced following the be worse, such aa "Beerdiricka Gaxx." PROFESSOR JOSEPH R, BAILER game with Loyola In Baltimore Count your blessjngs, my dear, and go Professor Joseph R. Bailer is known are in school, and the oldest is in the And, that's why I'm attending a last Friday. After coming out home to your ugly husband. to all on campus (whether or not they fifth grade. When Mr. Bailer has a school where we drones sit on the op- on top of a hard.fought 7-6 con- Q. Dcar John; happen to be among those collecting moment to himself he enjoys pursuing posite side of the assembly hall from test that included a three· run I received what I think to be a love visual aids) for his intense interest in one of his main interests, architec- those nascent queen bees; and where homer in the ninth, the game note from a girl in French class his students, in -his work, and for his ture. these latter, and horseless, Godivas failed to be given any notice yesterday. It read: quick wit which prevails in all his have to be in at ten o'clock. That's years at Western Maryland His whatever in the following day's "Paris est la capitale de la France." classes. have been very enjoyable ones, Mr. why Spring and the sap's rising bring me nothing but colds and a desire to sports coverage of the Sun. Can you translate this into English 1 He comes to Western Maryland Col- Bailer states. He says further that be desireless. That's also why I'm The tennis, track, and golf -Vladmir lege from a checkered and most inter- WMC has an outstanding influence on majoring in Political Science, Eng- teams have all been given due A. Dear Vladmir; esting background. At the University lish, Russian, Criminology, and am recognition, but we fail to un- Yes, I can. o[t'ittsburgh, and New York Univer. local president of the Hammer-Sickle derstand what stigma is at- Q. Dear John; sity Mr. Bailer received his degrees, Frat. tached to the residents of the What is the population of Hong but did work at several other out- You see----I'm a Communist for the local diamond to account for Kong? standing universities. Among them F.B.I.-I'm gonna walk alonc. theit: abandonment. Feeling an -Anxious are Columbia, in New York City; injustice has been committed, A. Dear Anxious: Cambridge in England, and The Uni- and solicitous of clarification, if Chinese, mostly. versity of Grenoble, in France. such is at hand, we say to the Q. Dear John; After graduating, his foreign ex- Sunpape1's with an air of sup- Every night after I fall asleep, perience lll'Ompted him to accept a job plication, " How about it, boys, therc's a' fellow that somehow as a professor at Robert College in let's play ball?" sneaks into my room and hides under Istanbul, Turkey. The students in this my bed. He then proceeds to tickle college ilad to have a command of the me through the mattress. I have not English language before they could Ode To A Splendid lllentioned this to the dean because matriculate, and it was Mr. Bailer's I havc an English test next week. duty to teach them. La.s With Bow Legs -Eda Sandwich He admits that teaching English as A. Dear Eda; a foreign language is quite a different Awake, dea?' Mary! 1 address you, ... There is no cause for alarm; keep prospect from merely trying to brush cutw! this matter quiet. And why don't you EDITORIAL STAFF up American students' grammar. Oth- lVpat i8 this ten-ible thing called sweep under your bed once in awhile er jobs included professorship at the Editor-in.Chief __ ._ .. Chnles Gu. Wheatley, '55 '54 LaMar, AaBociat.. Editor Beauty? so that a guy doesn't get his pants an American University at Cairo, Egypt, Managing Editor ._Nancy Pat Cukel', '54 Collin •. '66 ~. New" Editor. __ . dirty? and Bloomsburg State Teachers Col- Carol Coleman. '66 Nuttal, TJwJ'e (Ire other forms besides two Q. Dear John; lege in Pennsylvania. Soon after ProfegBor JOBeph R. Bailer Featu .... Edito ...._ .. ~Anne George Gipe, 'S6 '55 BtI'aight kg8. Two years ago, my roommate1; teaching here, Mr. Bailer became the Sport.. Editor Edito .... __Ma Harry Grander, '54 '55 New.·Feature I could name th6'ln all withQut a locked me in a closet with an ironing director of secondary education, and the state, and fortunately is weil sit- Marth ~ '55 COpy Editor bl·eatheJ·. board on the third floor of B. Ward. head of placement. This is quite sim- uated for prospective teachers to get Production Manager_ .. '54 '64 But I am mute, fo)' sad to 'relate, They feed me dog biscuits and tartar the experience necessary for success. Typing _.______ _ __ .55 Photograpny Y01l do 1Wt 8eem to have them either. sauce only. My question is, have I lost ilar to the position he holds at West- An ample amount of classroom ex- BUSINESS STAFF ern Maryland, except that at Blooms- my sophomore standing? perience is available to each student. BUlin""" Manager ..Paul Lambemon, '54 Marsh"ll, Nevc)'lhele88, I hotly retort (Dear reader, can you help this burg he was responsible for placing Ii Professor Bailer enjoys Western Advertising Manager_._._Jirn C..alg Schmall. '55 E~ch"nge '65 department, but the only one not With a Bnort girl? If you think you have an answer whole school. Maryland, we are sure that Western Circulation ..__ ~ Lou Spoerlein. '56 And in 8hort, to her vexing problem, just keep it Professor Bailer hails from Athens, Maryland not only enjoys, but is Dottie Wade. '56 CONTRIBUTORS No love of mine will prove synthetic to yourself. After all, she didn't ask Pa., and now resides in Westminster Ruth Ann Woerner, Ken Ruehl. Lorna Ham. blin, Nicky Nichol&on. Bill T,.ibby, Jerry SU!!5- Because your leg8 are parenthetic, you; she asked me.) with his wife and thrtle- children. All proud to have him as a member of its man, Do.....,n McNeil, Diek Carver, Torn Scott, " faculty. Larry Lockhart.