Page 16 - TheGoldBug1952-53

4 The' Gold Bug, Nov. 11. 1952 eAUjIr. e: <'flee ~dL Beware Of The 7000 Cars Jam Ashby Collins Anel Stu Abrahams Coat Hanger Peril Mel. U. Campus police Our cJuntry campus has survived two world undermanned Active In WMC Campus Life wars, the Influenza plague of 1918, force An coupled with a 15 to 17 per and the Japanese Beetle menace of cent rise in automobiles has con- by Tom Dryden by Jim Moore the 1940's, but I seriously doubt fronted Maryland University with a whether America can live through serious traffic headache described as "whatcha got to eat?" That ques- the dreaded "Coat hanger peril," one of the worst in years, the univer- tion interrupts study and bull ses- which, from latest statistics, I estr- sity paper, the Diamondback, reports sions many evenings around ten mate will reach its height in about in a recent article. o'clock in Albert Norman Ward Hall. three months. At present, there are .7000 reg- Everybody knows then that Ashby For centuries, scientists were under istered vehicles, a considerable in- Collins, the guy with the insatiable the calm belief that coat hangers were crease over last year's total, and the appetite, is on the loose, ravaging food inanimate objects, but recent study ~ eight campus cops, two of whom is- supplies just like Sherman did on his has proved this theory totally false. sue parking-tickets, find the task too Smeared again! It's almost ae if they march through Georgia to the sea. THEY MULTIPLY!!! large for them to handle properly. knew where we wore goh!u ... Still laboring under the impres- Yes, think back now. Surely, you've Several signs are also needed by the sion that the South won the War Be- happened to place, at one time or an- school, the campus police force chief tween the States, "Young A" is quite other, about seven or eight hangers advises. Motorists, as they pass the ALUMNI SUBSCRIBE TO THE proud of his Confederate heritage. in a closet and haven't paid much at- grounds, do not reailize what the GOLD BUG Speaking with a pronounced Southern tention to the little devils for perhaps buildings represent. "Fur all they accent, he claims 213 Appamattox a week. At the end of that time, there know," he continued, "this university St., Farmville, Va., as his permanent were at least five dozen coat hangers may be a reform school or a peniten- residence. (What a place for a dyed- residing in your closet. tiary." in-the-wool Southerner to live!) On This was no mere coincidence. The article also says that parking Let me warn you, complacent Amcri- problems seem to have resulted from Griffin's can, these black beasts are on the students parking in the wrong lots. , march and won't be satisfied until Here's to Stu-a feilow respected they've conquered the world!!! city in PATRONIZE The mayor of a prominent and admired by all who know him. Maine laughed at me one night, when OUR BEAT HOPKINS! Ever since his arrival on the Hill as I tried to induce him t~ conduct a ADVERTISERS. a freshman, his classmates have been campaign against coat hangers ... quick to recognize and make use of And do you know what happened to "You'1'e Good For It At" his leadership abilities. Their faith in him?? ... You're right! When they him has been completely justified; he found him the next morning, he had DAVID'S JEWELERS has acccmpljshedmuch in three years. dro.wned in an immense pile of coat 19 E. Main Street An active member of the Class of hangers. You could have only realized '53, he represented it for three years the stark horror of the situation by Westminster, Md, the night I on the Student Government. During seeing that unfortunate official buried Phone Westminster 1167 his junior year he was one of the in eight feet of these wire invaders. mainstays behind the Junior Follies. Bulova - Longines - Elgin President of Gamma Bets And to think that before Benrus - Gruen Weekday Matinees: 2 p. m. there had only been a. dozen or so in Now he is a senior, president of his his closet! Wittnauer Evenings 7 and 9 p. m. fraternity-Gamma Beta Chi-and at Sunday Matinees: 2 and 4 p. m. Peril is Ancient Homecoming this year he did a job as But I am not the first to realize the OPEN AN ACCOUNT Evenings 9 p. m. Ashby Collins parade marshall that is typical of Continuous 2 p. m. Saturdays and anything Stu undertakes: complete ~~;;.rI~f i~;~~:b;:u~~a:!:rr~c~: o~; '1::::::::::::=:::::=:::::=::::::::::; Holidays campus he Jives in Room 245, ANW, in a small vacant spot amongst Jim and thorough to the last detail. the name of Paul Revere tried to warn Good Health WED., THURS., NOV. 12, 13 Moore's gigantic collection of audio- Stu is a reserved person-rather the colonists that the coat hangers visual aids.~ quiet most of the time. However, when were coming. And do you know what TALE OF FIVE WOMEN A campus leader in the highest he has something to say he expresses happened to this enterprising young To Barbara Kelly Ann Vernon sense of the word, Ashby has been himself with a forcefulness and con- chap? The colonists didn't believe All FRI., SAT., NOV. 14, 15 he knows what viction that indicates selected as class president each year he -is talking about. He is an asset to him, and he was run out of town on since he was a freshman, which auto- any group, whether it be the weekly a (How ironic!) coat hanger .... Per- From FEARtESS FAGEN matically gives him membership in fraternity meeting or in casual con- haps my fate shall be the same. Al- Janet Leigh Carleton Carpenter the SGA Council. In May, 1951, he versation on the campus. He always ready my life has been threatened I consider it REXALL was elected treasurer of the SCA, a has a definite contribution to make. for divulging the secret of these black SUN., MON., TUES., capacity in which he is still serving. Ambition: sr.u, beasts, but nonetheless, NOV. 16, 17, 18 This fall, especially, he has become my national duty to warn all Ameri- EVERYTHING I HAVE IS YOURS an ardent attendant at Fireside due To be a medical doctor is Stu's am- cans! {Technicolor ) to some unknown attraction. (This bition, and he will undoubtedly be as Take up arms against these crea- Marge and Gower Champion will mean something to some per- great a success in his chosen life work tures! Even now it may be too late! Dean Miller sons.) as he has been in his college life. If Pile your clothes on chairs, tables, do Biology Major he carries his perseverance, earnest- anything! But rid your closets of these WED., THURS., NOV. 19, 20 His military activities include ness, willingness, co-operative spirit, enemies of democracy!! THE TURNING POINT Pershing Rifles, ROTC Officers' Club, good humor, and consideration (just G.A.G. William Holden Alexis Smith and Battalion Executive; with a to mention a few of his attributes) probable-in fact "!)Gl"y probable-fu- over into his career, how could he Compliments of FRI., SAT., NOV. 21, 22 possibly fail? ture career IlS an Army officer. Stu Abrahams is an individual 'any- THE DEVIL MAims THREE "Red" claims membership in Gam-' one would feel honored to have an J. R. EVERHART Gene Kelly Pier Angeli mil Beta Chi fraternity. opportunity to write an article such COLLEGE BARBER As a major in biology, he is forced SUN., MON., NOV. 23, 24 to take afternoon biology and chem- as this about. He is most deserving of At the Forks SOMETHING FOR THE BIRDS istry labs, from which he must often the title, "High on the Hill." Patricia Neal Victor Mature leave early in order to complete re- quirements for his second major, F.P. "Save up your pennies and TUES., WED., NOV. 25, 26 (14 hours per week for a half-semes- LAUNDROMAT STEEL TRACK ter, anyhow.}' Ashby works as an end come to BENNY'S Joseph Cotton Teresa Wright in the number 88 jersey on both the 5 Locust Street offense and defense platoons of the • Opposite Parking Lot football squad. During the winter and spring DAILY-7:30 • 5:00 YOll months he keeps in shape with bas- FRIDAY UNTIL 8 :00 GO ketball and softball. He plays a good game as forward and catcher for his Closed Wed. Afternoon ""BY frat teams. Cohtinuous 1 p. m. Saturdays. Hell- "Fenton" (I believe that takes care Westminster 1287 day shows continuous from 2 p. m. of all the nicknames which are print- 'kJ~MJ. 'l$WS: Sunday Matinees: 2 and 4 p. m. able) is subject to easy embarrass- I2/DGG" Evening show 9 p. m. Weekday shows ment. When this occurs, the face and continuous from 6:45 p. m. the back of the neck emanate a red Clifford's Jewelers gUS glow reminiscent of the hue of a red WED., THURS., NOV. 12, 13 traffic light. EXPERT REP AIRING It Pays To Look Wdl TROPICAL HEAT WAVE And finally, if you hear someone Exclusive Agent for .. d laughing heartily and loudly at the STIEFF SILVER Visit The GOBS AND GIRLS wrong time--especially at the movies 51 East Main Street or in reont of the rec hall-you'll Ave"ue Barber Shop FRr., SAT., NOV. ~4, 15 know that it can be none other than- Serving Maryland,Ohia,Pennsylvonia, THE WAC FROM WALLA WALLA Ashby Fenton Collins .. Go Compliments of Where The Students Yirginla and WestYirginiafrom Judy Canova June Vincent SMITH & REIFSNIDER Wine's Sport Shop 85~Pennsylvania Avenue Westminster, Md. SUN., MON., TUES., NOV. 16, 17, 18 Incorporated Bus Depot Phone 199 HORIZONS WEST LUMBER-COAL - Robert Ryan Julia Adams WESTMINSTER. MD. (Technicolor) G.C. Murphy & Co. Baugher's Restaurant WED., THURS., NOV. 19, 20 WINGS OF DANGER J. WM. HULL, Jeweler and The Friendly Store Just Off The Campus STOLEN FACE For Over Half Century Dormitory and cta .. room FOR A MEAL OR SNACK FRI., SAT., NOV. 21, 22 Expert Watch, Jewelry TARGET Supplies and Eye-Glass Repairing Complete Fountain Service Tim Holt Linda Douglas 6·10 Weat Main Street SUN., MON., TUES., NOV. 23, 24, 25 105 W.Main Street Westminster, Md. Open Every nay ONE MINUTE TO ZERO Roberti Mitchum Ann Blyth