Page 26 - TheGoldBug1946-47

The Gold Bug, Nov. 27, 1946 Course- In ChloroForm Shirley Snyder Jolly "Janie" The Item Prohibited BY HELEN LAVIN By EOWARDCUSHEN The other day I was glancing through the Sunday pa- Bifel that, in that season on a day, per and what should hit my eye but a joke, of which the In WMC on Route 32 as I lay college student was the butt. If the profs think that By Helen Levin Ready to wenden on my pilgrimage they are pecked at, they should open their ears to those To Dickinson with full devout ccrage, puns heaved at us poor pupils of advanced education. Upon learning that she was the Court for the past three years and a On Friday was eome into that revelry - The travelling salesmen have nothing on us! Getting "Campus Personality" of this issue, Well twenty score twenty in a company .... back to that comical bit of dialogue (let's say it's be- Shirley puckered up her nose, giggled, member of the Homecoming Court for Chaucer, Elderberry Tales. A member of the Argo- two years. tween two _WMCers: and said, "I'm from Hagerstown." nauts, the Trumpeters, and Phi Alpha And with this cheerful song of pillage and destruction Pat, a sophomore, "Have you ever taken chloroform?" Busily engaged in unpacking a on their breaths, as well as sweet essence of 50 proof Mike,' a freshman, "No. "Whoteaches it?" crisply starched slip which she will cider and 37 proof formaldehyde, did a football trip to (All right, you can cut the stitches now, it's over.} wear in the leading role of Janie, the beloved rival campus of Dickinson have its inception. See what I mean? A civcie upon reading that would Shirley related the facts of her very It had been decided in Philosophy 201 that such a trip naturally resume his Sunday reading under the mistaken interesting life. "Well, I guess you came under the full protection of Dyonisiac mysticism- illusion that college students are, to say the least, a mis- can say that I come from a very large after a lengthy discussion on "Just what do you mean by led conglomeration of open-eared, open-eyed, open-faced family. This was my grandmother's retaliation?" The preflight students gathered and pray- and open-mouthed humans resembling the village idiot. "":"it used to stand up all 'by itself." erfully asked that these youthful vandals might return That is because he probably hasn't attended college, and The petticoat crackled. "There arc safely from their holy wars with fewer scars than they does not recognize all of the possibilities in such an in- eight of us, and I'm the Baby Sister. had when they left. While a poly sci prof was wondering stitution. That's my trouble---I still can't make "Just what's going on here, now, hmmm1" the economics But, on the other hand, how does anyone know that them understand that I am growing department was fast revising the 1898 texts to include there isn't a course called "Chloroform 203"? They up. .. Oh! Look!" The petticoat the electric light, which a progressive radical on the fac- could take a whole semester in Chloroform 101, to learn stood there "all by itself". "I love ulty had declared was here to stay-at least until they what it is, where it is, who gives it, who got it, who begot them all," she whispered, "but they could get the fats to make more candles. The ROTC de- it, what it is, where it is, who gives it--(one vicious cir, are very indulgent." The petticoat partment, having in its supply room no fewer than 173 cle, eh?)-just as it takes a whole semester to learn in a collapsed. wooden rifles, Model M-I-A-l, of course, was called upon certain course (any similarity to courses thriving on for immediate action. The general accordingly dispatched Shirley giggled, and then it came-c. dormant is purely accidentally on purpose) that, in order the activity which gives her the most a police-up squad and posted a KP list for the following to be socially acceptable human beings, we must laugh at morning. After issuing twenty or so general orders the our fellow human being's jokes. Ah-ah! Don't deny it! enjoyment--giggling. Shirley giggles good man began to think. It was then decided that the You know as well as I that you experienced a sharp pain all the time over nothing at all or uniform for the day was to be raincoats, helmet liners, somewhere in your anatomy at that tea the other night: anything at all. To make matters and gas masks-and nobody better be found with a candy just because you wanted some simpleton to think you are. more uproarious, her roommate (for Shirley Snyder bar in his gas mask container. The company fell out in congenial, There you have another asinine course: Logic four whole years, too!), Betty Powell, close order at the command of a sophomore soprano--all 306, or Congenial 101, or Absurd 208-they'r,e all the is a jovial companion who satisfies Mu sorority, of which she is now sec- except for one poor character who thought he was sup- same! For each course in the catalog, the description Shirley's mania for giggling--even. retary, Shirley is one of the eleven posed to wear shoes too. A brief Mill in the hand salute follows the same monotonous code, which I will simplify in the morning. Since getting up in seniors chosen from western Mar-y- was held, and then the company was turned a-round to for you. The word tells you what you are sticking your the morning is Shirley's chief aver- land to be listed in "Who's Who in face away from the sun. neck into, and the number tells you the weight of the sion, the two of them break into peals American Colleges and Universities." action was taking Meantime fast and furious place in instructor-that's how you know whether or not you can of laughter-for sheer enjoyment. (At this point it would be interesting the chemistry department. Each student had his own sup- crack an "A" in it. This has become the trademark of rc note that Shirley is a faithful ad- ply of nitrogen tri-iodide to stuff in keyholes, and all Pills!") dict of, quote, "My Energy room No.2, Blanche Ward Hall. After hashing over those few" mental" courses, why experiments in courses on the 300 level were to be handed not explore those fascinating ones in which you pack a Shirley was president of her class a L~~:b~~O~I:~;i~~ gi;~~t:r~~ey ~:: in labelled TOP SECRET. One poor chem major was lunch and take a jolly jaunt over the countryside, chasing for two years and is now the class decapitated when the Pfc. guarding an Erlenmeyer flask everything from butterflies to the farmer's daughter? historian. She has been on the May (Continued on page 3,'column 3) whirled at high port with his bayonet pointing the wrong Or that one lab during which you tramp through people's way. abodes, cussing and discussing them. (Not to mention Vo.iced, .. in the Soc department increased Attendance 40% be- what the owners do.) B'I e. q. B'UJ