Page 42 - TheGoldBug1942-43

PAGE TWO The Gold Bug, W'eltertl. Maryland College, Westminster, Mil., April 8. 1943 • FROM THE---- r-------I/d. 'We gee Ji'--------, • IN THE ARMY WITH - Pig Pen Aloysius be silly not to? ----By PORKY. Th. Dining Hall Go •• To War ••• much as they have in the past. Wouldn't it --- A. H. WALKER. Miss Tweed Asks Cooperation -L,J. This is to announce to all and sun- The dining hall has 'gone to war, and the Pvt. A. H. Walker, dry that Bill Baylies is no longer my student body is proving itself to be the ally Journalism Ha. Its Gremlins Btry. C. 8th Bn., friend. A group of fellows was stand- of the dietitian's forces. Miss Sara S. Tweed Also, Says Collegiat. Pr... Ft. Eustis, Virginia. ing around the post office after dinner announced today that the students have Ye Ed, the other day, kidding the editor of made her proud during the past weeks be- For the millions who are slightly pixy- Goldbug, the Gold Bug about having a four- cause of the way in which they have ac- minded, the discovery of the gremlins, those Western Maryland College. week reorganization period when cepted the necessary evils of war-time meals. devilish little sprites who mess things up for Dear Ye: there's nothing to reorganize. Sud- We hope that this recording of the facts the fliers of the Royal Air Force, has pro- As you may have heard, I am in denly- piped up Brother Bayliea: "I concerning the difficulties which she en- vided one of the major excitements of the the army (U.S.), stationed at Ft. find that the Gold Bug is not half so counters will avoid any undue criticism war. Come to think of it, It is as easy to be- Eustis, va. Ft. Eustis (the fort obnoxious if you read it upside- which may arise in the future. lieve in gremlins as in banshees and lepre- where I am stationed) is an anti-air- down". Then, seeing the look of deep Here, as at home. ration coupons have a chauns or in any of the creatures that dance craft post, and, as such, deals with pain-anguish, in fact-on the face fixed value, and the coupon of each student across the pages of that fine Irish writer, big guns and searchlights. I am in of the editor, he quickly added the is worth only as much here as it is worth at Mr. James Stephens. a searchlight battalion; and I deal at following soothing remark: "But it home. In the months previous to food ra- But why the excitement? Journalism it- the post-exchange. I went out the really is good for somethinit-it tioning, we were each getting approximately self has long had its own set of little rascals other night on a "light-detail" and makes a perfect lining for the inside five pounds of meat per week, and now we who for generations have messed up one operated as one of the sound-locator of my wastebasket". A pox on you, are limited to 2Y4pounds. In private homes thing or another. Various phenomena ob- crew. The sound-locator, as you no Baylies. it is difficult to get even this amount, for in- served in newspaper offices leads to the in- doubt have heard, is going out of use • Anti·Aircraft dependent grocers are not always supplied . escapable conclusion that journalism is in favor of a newer job which runs One of the more amusing sights Oil The college is not faced/with this difficulty, haunted by as pernicious a set of strange on the principle of your modern radio. the Hill occurs whenever Arlie Mans- and so, each student fortunately receives his folk as ever Harassed an airplane pilot or If you don't have a modern radio, made life miserable. berger, Charlie Ijejdnnsa, Curly Coff- full share each week. These troublemakers have been tentative- you'll just have to use your imagina- man, or some of the other boys from Meat is not the only troublesome factor, tion .. But as I· was saying, I'm glad Old Ward get to- for even though fresh vegetables have not ly named mergenfellers, and they come in the locator is becoming obsolete. The gether, and an been rationed, the prices of them are fast be- many guises. Most puckish of the lot, per- sooner it is committed to the home haps, are the eternally playful twins, etaoin airplane comes coming exorbitant. Today, when the menu and shrdlu, who have great fun sliding up for disabled megaphones, the better flying overhead. is being prepared, there is more to be con- and down the keyboards of linotype ma- I'lJ like it. Mansberg e r sidered than food value; there is the price chines. They can inject a note of nonsense The other night I stood for two and quickly straddles (value and the point value. and confusion into the most solemn dis- a half hours, complete with Martian an imaginary an- Many minute problems are related to the course. headgear, and ear-tubes, trying to lo- ti aircraft gun major issue, and among them is the fact that There are the stanues, the tiniest and cate airplanes. I was the "azimuth- and begins crank- we Americans are so accustomed to having meanest of them all, who have been known listener" (whatever that means). All ing vigorously to everything that we want that we have not to bite all the members of a newspaper staff, the time I stood there turning wheels, raise the sights. learned the habits of economy. In order to from publisher to copy boy, giving them a the only sound I heard was that pro- Coffman claps a Levin teach us to economize, the dietitians have" depressing low-grade infection known as duced by the motor of the section pair of imaginary determined to try a new method of serving slantitis. Victims are afraid of straight commander's car. In "view of our binoculars to his eyes and mechani- the evening and Sunday dinners. Instead of facts; they hoot at the ideal of objectivity; somewhat erratic signals, he had con- cally calls out range and direction. employing the usual formal service at these everything they touch must be given a cluded that we must be passing our At a given signal, DeManss pulls the meals, they would like to use the family style "slant" or an "angle". In time they begin to time at bridge; and he was earning lanyard of the gun. The boys claim service. Under such a system, each student walk sideways. The final result is almost out to see if we could use a fourth. they've never missed a plane yet-in twill be able to take only that food which he always fatal. It seems the man opposite me-the fact, they were quite willing to have intends to eat, and consequently, it will be Then there are the fixpixies, who are re- "elevation listener"-had been having me run over to the seventh green to possible to eliminate the abundance of waste sponsible for putting the picture of Mrs. the same auditory troubles as myself, see the- wreckage of one they recent- food which the present system affords. Plantagenet in the spot where a cut of Liz- and had finally hit upon the brilliant ly downed. After the action is all The family style service will not be satis- zi~ the Chimp was supposed to go; the cack- plan of waiting for the lights of oth- over, the crew members stride off in factory unless every person accepts the reo, ling old greeleybums, who cause people to er batteries to pick out a plane and step, swinging their arms in British sponsibility of being considerate for the write unintelligible or abusive letters to the then setting our ears accordingly. Oh, cadet fashion, and whistling a Scot- others at this table. Ten servings of every editor; the orthogreves, who light on the well- tish air. dish will be sent out of the kitchen to each shoulders of reporters and rewrite men and In the army they give you shots in • Dick's Dilemma table, but if one person at each table helps make them incapable of spelling names the arm. There is a special staff in Did you hear about Dick Patten himself to all ten, the other plates will be right-particularly in the matter of middle Washington whose sale duty it is to and Sarge Purycar? Seems that the sort of barren. An additional virtue of the initials. The list is long. follow the latest trends in diseases. Sarge one day after drill, asked Pat- contemplated service is that there will be a We recommend that the Nieman founda- As soon as a new one is Invented," a ten where his merit badge with the greater possibility of food being warm when , tion at Harvard, which is studying the prob- serum is whipped up and distributed lems of journalism, make a definitive report four stars was. Dick quickly looked it reaches the tables. on the mergenfellers. to camps all over the country. At this down at his tunic and let out a yelp: We know that the students are going to juncture in the sequence, each soldier "Ohmigosh! I must have left it pinned cooperate with Miss Tweed in the future as -ACP, gets a dose of the new serum in any on to my pajamas!" portion of the anatomy which hap- Incidentally, Richard assures me pens to have escaped previous per- that there is absolutely no truth to foration. They inoculate you for any- the rumor that he's going; to change Campus Personality Fr.e thing from secondary Elephantiasis to his name to Patton so that he can water on the face (usually contracted claim relationship with Airica's "Old while bending over a strange drink- Blood and Guts". Of course there's ing-fountain). If my arm were green, it would look like a toad, it has so no truth to the rumor. The fact of the matter is that General Patton is many bumps. That is, if a toad were seriously considering changing his By Eleanor Healy studying periodicals devoted to cur- shaped like an arm, it would. name to conform to Dick's. Feature Editor rent events, war news, etc. The best thing about this racket is .Kollege I{ola Klub Kurtailed "Busy man of the campus" ~ight e Delves In Photography that you can send letters without The activities of the Kollege Kola properly be Dean Free's nickname, He also delves in photography, but stamps. You just write "free" in the have been officially curtailed because for aside from his "deanly" activities, in that field Dean Free claims to be corner. Back in civilian life, I used of warm weather. What is the Kol- he has a list of things to do which is just a "rank amateur". Music, too, to send so many letters that the gluo lege Kola Klub? Well, it's a group that long. Some of his other duties are is another avocation of this versatile from the stamps made me sick. Aiter three weeks of G. I. food, I wish I (Cont. on page 4, col. 1) Vice-President of the Kiwanis Club, dean. But it isn't just classical music Vice-President of the Association of that catches his ear, for he and Mrs. had a stamp to suck on. Seriously, Deans and Advisers of Men, Presi- Free rarely miss a dance; and the though, think how much money we THE GOLD BUG dent of the Board of Trustees of the Dean confessed that he wouldn't miud save not having to pay postage. Have you thought? Well, how much is it Church, su- learning to jitterbug. Methodist Westminster perintendent of the adult department Incidentally, in case anyone is won- then? of the Sunday School, and baritone in dering, the first two names of the Well, give my love to everyone; the College choir. But with it all the Dean of Men are Lincoln Forrest- and look for me a fortnight from now. Dean still finds time to work in his' in toto. It's Dean Lincoln Forrest Respectfully, yard and keep a watchful eye on Free, Ph.D. Pvt. ALOYSIUS Subscription Price $2.00 a Year some pet bees. • Born In San Francisco !':!!:~~:-i~iet~~··~·.~~~!~:· ~~;~ ::: Although he was born in San Fran- Lucinda Holloway cisco, Dean Free grew up in New 1/ gtJ.ud 01 .e~ Managing Editor L~~i~n~::~s~~ ::: ~~r~ay:-:~e~~lil~~e~Ch;o~;i:; :!i~~:~ News Editors Carolyn Gable '43 he was quite active athletically, and L. Forrest Free Lost on me it still remained. The tlf{J'ical «tudent Feature Edit~~a~ ..~~:!~n~; ~::~~ ::~ played football for two years. Arter Prior to his coming to Western of English litqrnture of literature- I've a snappy little ditty, e~(J!1nple- for Assistant Feature Edioor ;;;:~=~!o:o: ~:2teh~;~nU:;::ti~~~ Maryland, Dean Free taught at West- 'm(l,y b6 1c-nmmt by four cha.raeteris- Takes not half as long to tell, Lucinda Holloway '45 as well as at the Columbia Graduate chester State Teachers College and at tics-a. [eor of Spenaer, (L dislike Qf All the words are far more witty, ~~;~tsEd~~~or ..John Robinson '43' School of Math and Physics. He ob- two of the colleges which he attended Milton, a hatred Qf WQ7"'I".l8worth.,am! Music hot .as Milton's Hell. -Lafayette and Hofstra, which is a fmpPrfJS8ed delnTe to write a musi- Mary Virginia Walker '43 ~i;e~r~~ ~~~~~~o~~:-;e~n~~iiu~!~On~ part ofN.Y.U. calco~y. More of Wordsworth? What ....a shame! .Math Teacher -Richard Lindley Brown in. How I hate his tiresome ode! ~:~=~~a:e~~~R~;r~e~~~: ::: New York University. In 1937 Dean Free came to W.M.C. "Courage and Ed'I.UXJ.tirm!' Grim professor, y.ou're to blame Circulation Manager 1~ J!.t14.4 --"----, as teacher of math and astronomy For handing me this heavy load. William Burgess '45 ant!as Dean of Men. He particularly What? Spenser of the by-gone days? Nix on Lucy's rustic beauty! Contributors: Fred G. Holloway, Jr., Dear Jackie P., enjoys the "Dean of Men" angle, for How I wish him worse and worse! She would never have a chance Dorothy Rovecamp, Ruth Sartorio, he is interested in personnel work and 'He writ no language,' Jonson says; Placed beside the Broadway cutie Jane Miles, Betty Waits, Mary Vir- If you swipe all of the pub- guidance. The guidance idea has tak- How I wish he'd writ no verse. Who ,will do my song and dance. ginia Webb, Mary Virginil!- Walker, licity for the blood donor cam- en on added significance since the What care I for allegory Spenser, called the poets' bard, Peggy Reeves, Agnes Dyson, Vir- paign, then maybe, no one war, for Dean Free serves as the rep- And the pale, wan Faerie Quene Mighty Milton, Wordsworth sage, ginia Voorhees, Al Walker, Earl knowing about the donations, resentative on the campus for the When I'm destined thus for glory, May thy rest be never marred Morey, John Seth, Ruth Miles, you won't be alone in not regis- Armed Forces. With my plays for stage and By the insults of this age; Katherine Heinmueller, Woody Pres- tering. Although his hobbies are largely screen? Beg some heavenly muse to send us ton, Earl Schubert, Janet Baugher, Provokedly, hl:mting and fishing and other out- More of Milton's "Paradise", Understanding, thought divine; Elizabeth Gable, Bob Adams, Dennis door a.ctivities, he is an ardent reader One time Lost and then Regained? Heaven alone can help, befriend us: Blizzard .• and spends much of his spare time Though it gave me reddened eyes, Pearls were never meant for swine.