Page 39 - Contrast19731974

back of a Ford Ga.1axie station wagon. In no time
at all I had a goed job. Doing what you ask? Ah,

nalevete such as yours warms the heart for you

~omp1ete1Y miss the basic tenet of middle class

alfe __ all jobs are exactly alike! I'm sure that
tS a ~ollegiate with your oognitive functions honed

o a razor's edge the previous statement seems

completely untenable. We of the middle class laud

~UCh use of logic, yet, just as we greatly admire

tescarte 's ontological arguments, we are compelled
o admit that he was probably a shitty bowler.

A You have so much to learn and so little time.

n idea came to me that I now belive to be as

~1storica11Y important as the Gabor Sisters or
Mexach1oroPhene __ THE BRUCE LIPPY SCHOOL FOR

fIDDLE CLASS LIVING. An institute of middle
earning designed to help the graduate adapt

~e~listica11Y to the world as it exists stoehdoa1ya,rs
d~ as it did in the days of musky old

ad centuries before the invention of the
~~ncess phone. Face facts! Tupperware 1s no longer

ream or idle speculation but a workin.g reality.

wit undoubtedly there are _Y of you, who, bloated

bl h your knowledge of the crimean War and the

be~stu1a stage in embryology,
Sad1eve you can make it on your own. To these

indiv1duals I would like to ask one simple but

~rtlnent question --how old is GarY Moore? Don't
L ow? Then perhaps you should read on. THE BRUCE

s{PPY SCHOOL FOR MIDDLE CLASS LIVING IS FOR YOU.

thudents like you enter -- uncertain, bewildered
Re~1r heads stuffed with Marxism, Skinner, the ~oxer

as el1ion, and leave my school, after siX months,
t sober members of the American middle class, able

00 confidently choose the correct laxative for their

wn personal needs. .
te 10 allay all fears that you have, here is a

J stimonial by one of my students. I'll call him

~m. His real name is William.
lik "Hey,Hello! Is this thing on? Gool. Well.
thle this is my story, and believe me I owe every-

r ng to Bruce Lippy. No stuff! I was born of

L~~:l blood in a little Duchy in Europe. No stuff!
v1 they said I was second only to Paginii on the

Amolin. At twenty I decided to seek my fortune in
erica. Wh&t a bummer! Everywhere I went it was