Page 37 - Contrast19731974

Greetings Fellow Thirsters after -Knowledge,

rna Please read this message in it's entirety it

burn:av~rsave your life! Scientists tell us that the
ge college student (your name goes here)

in over a million calories of energy study1ng

libone week. This means that an average sized ..

eno~r~l arts college like Western Maryland expends
can g energy in a week to power all the electric

twen~peners in Ocean City New Jersey for a full .

twentY minutes. (Enough time per can opener to open

souP,y)-two cans of campbell's Cream of Mushroom

• Pretty sobering, isn't it?
b On a more personal level, we find that our coed

t~rns as much energy in one week as he could expect

(1 lose in two acts of human sexual intercourse
stnclud1ng foreplay.) Faced with such indisputable

hlatistics I th1nk that every student should ask

"w~~elf some rather frank questions. Namely,
rnakch would I prefer to do, study for a week or
thee whoople twice? (1ncluding foreplay.) II or at
all very least, "Do I like Cream of Mushroom soup

that much?"
m The reason that I employed so much science in

bY introduction, beside the obviOUS weight carried
t~eanything scientific, is that I wanted to jolt you
Yourreader with hard •. cold facts so you woUld keep

eno head out of an intro. sociology text long
rna ugh to see that on this long road of life you

Y be driving on the median striE! .

You My mane is Bruce Lippy and I was once like

lif' young, bright, semi-attractive, 1n love with
dr e and brimming with energy. I studied .hard and

st~~med of a fascinating career. Perhaps I would
t y the Killer Whale with JacQues cousteau or
traCk the elusive Komodo Dragon~ I was even will1ng

aOc~ttle for a concert pianist or the discover of

he e for one of the lesser diseases (e.g. the

artbreak of.psariasis.)
ye These delusions perSisted all through my four

thars at school because I was led to believe that

fae~e were many exciting and vital careers in today's

re:l-paced world. When I finally get out into the
and World I found, in fact, there were many exciting

vital jobs and each one was filled by an exciting