Page 185 - Phoenix1998-99

FEATURES Star Wars mania begins As the summer season ap- Kristen Fraser explains proaches, many anticipate the flood of hit movies. This trend be- the phenomenon of the BOX OFFICE gan years ago, and movie produc- true~fan. ers aim to show their blockbusters OPENS IN 6 WEEKS in the warm months, knowing they would be showing his film. Wasn't will receive more success. This is this getting a little out of hand? no different for George Lucas. Then came the announcement His new movie, Star Wars Epi- about the movie opening. By sched- sode J: The Phantom Menace, uling the movie late in May, it seems to be a little different than seemed to me a little early. But, I the others. It stands to be historic respect publicity and marketing. and record breaking, but has it This was followed by the fateful gone a little out of hand? day in early April. I knew that it was a bad sign I was listening to 99. I on the when I first saw the preview. Ev- radio. The OJ was On the phone eryone in the movie theater was so with a young man who was sta- excited. Finally, another Lucas film tioned outside of the Chinese The- would hit the big screen after all ater in Hollywood. He was waiting these years. It promised new tech- to buy a ticket for the show: 6 nology, as opposed to the inferior WEEKS TN ADVANCE! Does special effects of the 1980's. anyone else think that this is just a I watched the preview, and little bit odd? laughed as C3PO swore he "would He continued to explain that he never set foot on a spaceship." stayed camping out, with comput- I certainly did not see what all ers, DVD movies, phones, food, the fuss was about. I left the the- and everything else he could pos- United States to view the opening Apparently I am wrong. ater not giving the movie a second sibly need. He even states that it is of the movie. But, beware, this air- have been waiting for weeks and thought. better than his apartment. There fare does not include a ticket to the So, this summer should be very weeks find that the movie is good Then came an article in the were many other people waiting show. interesting. I do not expect to see enough and worth wasting thou- newspaper that George Lucas was with this fine young gentleman, all Apparently, that flight plan in- this movie; I'm not sure that Ieven sands of hours of their life. want to see it. I am sure that I will negotiating with many theaters as Star Wars fans. cludes arriving 6 weeks early and see more newspaper articles, toys, , Ithink LiamNeesam, one of the to how his movie should be shown. I think the icing on the cake waiting out the duration of the time. and TV ads for this "phenomenon" stars in the film, summed it up best It seemed interesting that be was came when I heard that the Star T think my opinion has been to satisfy any and all of my Star when he said, "At the end of the concerned with what previews Wars sensation had reached Eu- made clear by now. Last time I Wars needs. day, it's still just a movie." could be shown with his film. He rope. Travel agencies are currently checked, this was a movie. Not the So, keep that thought in mind placed demands on the theaters that setting up special airfares to the end of the world. Not even Y2K. So, America, brace yourselves. who when all the Star Wars junkies get I hope those poor people to bum me in effigy. together Quirks: The other side Helping hands I was surprised by the squirrel Anne Butler suggests a instinct? That maybe we would like Mob, blindfolded, and taken to a new perspective, as seen to fight, but we become so over- Ron Mojica commends secret hiding place on campus. through the squirrels. whelmed by fear that we have to faculty on their efforts to the movies; money contributed was Once they removed the blindfold, flee? And did you ever consider aid refugees in Kosovo. from the attendant's own free will, The according to Bodin. event I was able to take in my surround- Puzzled, I replied, "Uh, what that maybe we need to do that be- ings. exactly do you mean?" cause there are predators that chase When someone mentions made a profit of around $100, and I was surrounded by armed "You are disrespecting the us, even on this campus?" Kosovo, a picture of unrest and per- they are still accepting contribu- squirrels, all pointing the business squirrel Family," Eric answered, I scratched my head. "Urn, I petual dissent comes to mind. Sides tions of cash or checks through the end of a gun at me. "You always insult them and call guess I didn't really ever think of no longer matter. Whether the land Bursar's Office. But despite the I considered how I got myself them cowardly, drawing attention it that way." is pelted with bombs or excavated small profits, the results of the into this mess when the crowd of to them." Don Nutkin gestured, and Eric for mass graves, one thing seems evening are largely inspiring. and sympa- The magnanimous squirrels parted. They revealed an I frowned, "Well, that's just how interpreted. certain: it appears that the disregard thetic gesture of the faculty clearly elderly grey squirrel dressed in a I get my point across. People pay "You need to look at both sides for fellow human beings has in- well-made suit. attention if I go overboard about of an issue, and try to understand fected humanity and will mutate displays that this is not a problem The old squirrel was flanked by squirrels. I guess they think it's the other point of view. You didn't into a crippling, universal disease. confined within the Balkans. In two big mean looking squirrels funny." try to understand ours." The rest of our history is plagued. times of war, those involved are not carrying violin cases. Behind the Don Nutkin became irate and I nodded. "All right, I'll try to On this side of the Atlantic, the only ones affected. We are all affected. trio came a human, Eric "The began mumbling angrily and ges- do that from now on." within our campus, however, a dif- Mole." ticulating wildly. Don Nutkin shook his head and ferent picture of humanity comes to While the crusaders fight for I gasped. It had been rumored ''The Family is not something gestured to his two goons. "I'm justice, the suppressed call for a acts and mind that Eric had been working for the to be laughed at! We are real liv- afraid it's too late," Eric clarified, mind. The disgusting Milosevic and his voice. Although not everyone has set of Siobodan squirrels, but I hadn't believed it ing, breathing beings. We are' not "You see, you've hurt the Family, followers took it's toll on Albanian to direct missiles or shoot soldiers up until that point. to be trifled with!" and reparations must be made." civilians. This has been the fourth in war, people outside the battle- How could any self-respecting I pulled back at this display of I backed away. "But. .. But I fields cannot just stand idly by. human work for these sneaky and anger. "Urn .... Iknow that, Ijust... apologized!" war that Milosevic has stared. plight, This is a fight for the preserva- Now, from the refugee'S honible rodents? Eric must have I'm sorry." The two goon squirrels opened sympathy and hope emerges from tion of human rights, a principle been brainwashed by them, forced Don Nutkin calmed down and their cases and pulled out minia- the WMC community. which transgresses any boundaries to do their menial labor. straightened his Armani suit. ture tommy guns. Don Nutkin Led by Foreign Language pro- of politics, creed, sex, or other so- The elder squirrel stopped in "Wherefore did you get this impres- cietal borders that we have im- "Too and Dr. Bodin front of me and gestured toward sion of us?" Eric again translated. frowned. and Joey, little, too late. fessors Dr. Cathy a group of five to posed upon ourselves. The war in Thomas Guido Deveny, make sure she Eric. The boy came forward and "Well, from watching you all I doesn't hurt the Family ever ten faculty members showed Monty Yugoslavia is not only for ethnic stood next him. guess. I mean you guys are always agam Python's The Holy Grail at 10 pm Albanians but for the welfare of The elder squirrel mumbled looking like a you're deer caught The goon squirrels nodded and and The Rocky Horror Picture our future existence. recognize The faculty members and Eric translated, "Don Nutkin in a pair of headlights. And if some- advanced on me. As one, they Show at midnight inside Decker this, as their actions in response to wishes to know who you think you one comes near, you run up the clicked off the guns' safeties. "Uh, Auditorium. The fundraiser was for the conflict have portrayed. are." nearest tree in about a second. You guys," I pleaded, "This isn't the the Kosovar Relief Fund, sponsored Although I cannot speak for the "Urn ... " I answered looking don't even consider seeing what the way to show me a positive image by the Red Cross. from Don Nutkin to Eric, "I'm no person wants; it's always flight for of your species .... " Organizing the event required refugees, the fundraising event is undoubtedly appreciated. one special, really. I'mjustAnne." you ali." "Yeah," Eric translated, "from time and effort outside the teachers' I will, however, speak for those Don Nutkin mumbled, and Eric Don Nutkin mumbled and ges- your point of view, it isn't. Get her, regular lecture and office hours be- again addressed me. tured to Eric. boys!" cause of the necessary advertising who stand witness to such cruelty "No, he wishes to know what "Did you ever stop to consider," BLAM!! BLAM!! via posters, flyers, and word-of- and then see these types of efforts. gives you the rightto go disrespect- Eric said in Don Nutkin's words, "That'll teach her to mess with mouth during their classes. We take off our hats and bow in ing the Family in your column." ''That that may just be a survival the Squirrel Mafia." salute to those faculty members, in L_... _ .. _. . • .. _ .. _ .. _ There was no cover charge for the name of hope and humanity.