Page 195 - ThePhoenix1995-96

COMMENTARY Thursday, May 9, 1996 Page 3 LOCK AND KEY -------11 Jonathon Shacat .. ,------ Course evaluation forms professors at WMC who, after You know those forms that the teaching here for more than a de- professors have students fill out at III cade, still teach a bad course. Don't the end of each semester? That's professors read these forms and right, the ones that let students make the appropriate changes to evaluate the course and the instruc- their courses? I hope they do. I tor. Well, what happens to them? ulty affairs committee to recom- spend a lot of time filling them out After the students fill out these mend a professor for tenure or a and I take them very seriously. forms, they are given to the depart- promotion and to periodically (ev- If professors are ignoring the ment secretary, who in tum gives ery seven years) review a profes- suggestions on these forms, then them to the department chair, who sor, said Coley. maybe they should change their later gives them to the professor of The purpose of these forms is ways. Read what the students think the course after the final grades to get the student's opinion about and consider their suggestions. In have been submitted, according to the course and the instructor. When my opinion, these forms serve one Joan Coley, provost and dean of they are reviewed by the faculty main purpose. To let the professor academic affairs. affairs committee, the members know how he or she is doing. If These forms are "taken very look for a pattern of comments, they don't read them, they are miss- seriously" after they are filled out, said Coley. For example, if numer- ing out on a lot of good ideas. said Coley. They are reviewed by: ous students comment on the late- Congratulations! the department chair, faculty mem- ness of retuned papers, then the The winner of the Ira G. Zepp ber, faculty affairs committee (of committee will discuss this prob- Distinguished Teaching Award was five faculty members), and Provost lem with the faculty member. announced at the Honors Convo- Coley. I have a concern that is indi- cation on May 5. This years award They are used by the faculty to rectly related to this topic. Iwould was given to Dr. Julie O. Badiee, improve the course and by the fac- like to know why there are certain professor of art and art history. THE SOAPBOX 1 Adam Dean' Idon't know about you, but the people are drinking beer, buying you ask me. Anyway, Canada is current crop of Presidential candi- guns or doing strange medical tests part of the United States anyway, dates disappoint me. They talk and on dogs, cats, pigs and rodents, they just don't know it yet. We need TALES FROM talk and talk and still leave me preferably all at the same time. more living space to expand into. bored and speechlessly numb. Thai Yeah, Imight not have much to say, Wecan have all the people we don't is why I,Adam Gilbert Dean I, stu- but dang it, I'll sure look "Presi- like move up into the great while dent, newspaper columnist, model dential" as I say it. If JFK and north and freeze. And hey, let's REALITY railroader, dedicated jackass and all Ronald Reagan could do it, why bring back slavery. But not just for Aguileda I around renaissance man am here can't I? To bad some other party one race, for everybody. I want to -----jISergio today to announce my candidacy has adopted the jackass as its sym- be an equal opportunity oppressor. for the office of President of the bol. Anyone who drives too slow, United States. In an Adam Gilbert Dean I doesn't use turn signals or cuts me Have you ever seen the film see us (yeah, like there are blind I am taking this step because of presidency The Mean Vole will be off will automatically become a Wayne's World? Well, my friends cops now), or maybe he's just my dissatisfaction with the current respected and listened to. No more slave and be forced into a life of and I are fans of it. We especially checking ("Sorry kids, just check- political situation in my native Mister Nice Guy. I promise here hard, pointless labor in the salt like the scene in which Wayne and ing that your car has four wheels"), land. Special interest groups exist and now, when elected I will abol- mines. The same for those annoy- his pals shake their long hairy or maybe he feels lonely and wants which represent every American ish .welfare of aiT kinds, food ingjaywaikers who always tick me heads in time to "Bohemian Rhap- a little chat. (..... no comments). minority except one. This group of stamps, "Independence" cards, off when driving down town. Ev- sody," by Queen, in the car. "What the hell were you guys hard working, honest Americans Federal Aid to public schools. No ery car will be equipped with a The following is a true story. I doing?" said the officer. "Are you has been ignored by every politi- more of those pansy "school lunch water-cooled .303 caliber Vickers was with three friends some time drunk or something cian until now. I am going to go programs." If those kids are hun- machine gun to mow those people ago ( I know, it's hard to believe). Indeed we were neither on after The Mean Vote. Jackasses of gry, darn it, go out and get a job. down. DEATH TO THE FOOL- We were in a car, heading for a fun drugs nor drunk, we were just the world, unite! Throw off the Or hunt for your food. There are HARDY AND UNPATRIOTIC! weekend; everything was nice, ev- weird, as we tried to explain to the chains of your oppressors and place plenty of robins, pigeons and squir- All those who are determined to be erything was beautiful, everything officer. It was a good point. Didn't them upon someone else. We have rels that hang around schools. A of better quality by birth will be was cool.i.except the police car work. been ignored for far too long. little ingenuity and a nice hard rock awarded titles of nobility and ev- behind us. It's not that we don't like As a result of this we had a Think about it, a campaign for and you have a hearty meal. eryone else will be our servants. cops, it's just that we have watched ticket over a couple hundred dol- this great untapped body of people There will be no Surgeon Gen- They are just poor, stupid peasants too many movies about psychotic lars (as usual, the driver paid). could be ground breaking. I could eral. Let all those old, sick people and don't deserve any better. policemen who kill people instead The moral of the story is: go to gunshots, rodeos, and Ameri- die and make room for the younger I will fight crime by executing of, let's say, helping senior citizens, -If you have long hair, shave it.just can Legion halls. I could slap ba- generation coming up behind them. all criminal scum. If you steal, rob who rely on them. in case you have the temptation of bies ("put a sock in it, kid "'), tell Cigarettes and Cigars will be or mug anybody you will be killed So we were riding along play- shaking your head while driving. racist, sexist, speciesist, passed out for free to anyone un- by crucifixion. Your head will be ing our favorite tunes. At a certain oJf you have "Bohemian Rhap- homophobic jokes ("a spic, a skirt, der 18 who wants them. No, cut off and used as a game ball at point "Bohemian Rhapsody" was sody" don't play it,just in case you a fairy and an amoeba all walk into change that. Every child will be the National Polo Finals. The crime on the radio and we figured, why have the temptation of shaking a bar ... "), make fun of disabled required to take a class on proper of Murder will bring instant execu- not imitate our role models from your head while driving. Vietnam veterans and steal toys and smoking habits. Smoke Rings 101 tion by the arresting officer, right Wayne's World? We started shak- -Have you heard the expression candy from orphans and children will be a college level course. Car- there on the spot. Hey, if there is a ing our heads in time (actually I "Don't try this at home"? Well, this in the hospital. I could give toon characters and nursery rhymes mistake, too bad. You can't make was attacked by my friend's long also applies to cars. speeches at animal testing facili- will promote smoking. Kindergar- an omelette without breaking a few hair, but this is not the point of the -Real life is not like movies, other- ties, old folk's homes. I'll hang out tens and preschools will have desks eggs. story), when we realized we were wise we all would look like Tom near chain gangs on a hot, July day with ashtrays. But of course, none of these forced 10 stop the car. The lime it Cruise or Pamela Anderson (or and drink cold sodas and eat ice When elected the first thing I new rules and regulations will ap- took for the cop to stop his car and Keanu Reeves for those unde- cream. will do is invade Canada. Is there ply to you. Just them. They are the approach our vehicle was the long- cided). Think of all the photo opportu- a country more deserving of inva- ones who cause all the problems. est of our lives. Anyway, the conclusion is that nities. There I stand at the podium, sion? Those limey-Ioving, Hockey- They are the ones who will be During a moment like this your it was the most expensive "Bohe- looking proud, strong and brave, playing, maple syrup-e~ting forced to suffer for their crimes. mind plays cards against you and mian Rhapsody" in history. like a real leader. And behind me Mounties need a buuwhoopmg if Not you. Never you. I promise. wins. You think, maybe he didn't