Page 115 - ThePhoenix1992-93

The Bird/ Advertisments April 1, 1993, Page 3 consented to the deal and the Revised Football Schedule Bush papers will be signed on April 10. Immediately after the sign, From Page1 for 1993 Season ing results. ing and Bush's inauguration, The the name will be changed. new faculty will take over at the Theater major Richard Head end of the semester and be in said,"! didn't like any of place for summer classes. The Due to recent scheduling ~es,: and WPSS~ CODtbhn(lg battle tor exceueace on the grid-- Reagan's movies, Bedtime for iron, the followingschedule Was$notmCCd 3Jarecent press conference by new head football Bonzo sucked, and, besides, he S.S. will soon after receive the first battery of Patriot Missiles coach, Jim Cheating, won't even be able to stay and begin patrolling campus awake in class," with attack dogs. September Undecided- freshman Bob To assert any opinions, Friver said,"But if Bush is run- ideas, and suggestions, students 5 University ofMiam1* A 8:00 ning the school, who is presi- can write [0 the following ad- l2SisterO'Gr!i£,ly·s School for the Blind H 1:30 dent of the country?" dresses: Barbara Bush's Com- 19MatyJand Stale Women's Penitentiary A 12;00 One positive view came mittee on Making School a Re- 26University of Michigan H 1;30 from English Major Harold ally Neat Place, P.O. Box 452 Buttkisser was, "hey, you say Houston, Texas 20069, Dan pounce, I say pototoe, r think Quayle's Dyslexics for a change is good." Greener America, P.O. Box 666 3l,Jnivcr$ityof Allloama# H 1:30 The trustees have already Indianapolis Indiana 50069 loca:JTecb A 8;00 ] 7Penm~ylvanla State Universl:tY$ H 1;30 25New Eogtand .f>atriots(Exbi.btliO~Game A 9:00 at M.emoria! Stadinm,J3;a1~re) FANS 31Klingpwsk:i'sMortuary,scbool A 12:00 @ ~ 7University ofMaryi:land H UO CHINESE RESTAURANT "'TrojanlVagjsi1 AU~AIl1erleatll!'/diCl cope with E's quixotic behav- some nights are for Micbelobe, ior. The first few days, Poon and some are for Mad Dog," is to humiliate and cause pain. A recent To the average football fan, and his other apartment mates Lobe added. a survey of convicted rapists found that at the football season is six months attempted to enter the room According to Silverland and least half of these men did not care about the of exhilarating wins and agoniz- only to be berated as "crack ba- Adams, all Beer Advisors will For help !:!,!!.~~~!j~f!!.n:;;uthe Rape Crisis lnlmenlioll ing defeats. But to one Wash- bies" and have things thrown at be chosen by the end of the se- ervice. Our services are free and confidential ington Redskins fan, football is the door. ln desperation, Poon mester, and five special work- ~liIIe: 857·7311 Office: 857·9000 a religion, a never ending battle attempted to contact Gibbs to shops will be held over the sum- to emerge triumphant over the plea his roommate' s case, but mer to help train them. These evil forces of Jimmy Johnson, Gibbs was unable to be reached. workshops are tentatively titled: Jerry Glanville, and others. Poon then turned to WPSS's "Beers or tbe World and Now, imagine if you will, learn- resident bead shrink 0, Susanna WPSS"; "Getting A Fake m"; ing that the head priest has re- Grorskt. Glorski commented "Developing a Dynamite Drink- signed to pursue a full time ca- "this is the worst case of hero ing Demcanor''; "Bee-Games"; reer as owner of a NASCAR worship I have ever seen. E's and "Strange Brew:Where Do racing team. Unable to cope fragile psyche hangs in the bal- WeGoFromHereT'. If you are • with this loss, this Washington ance with this desperate act. a junior and interested in be- Redskins fan has launched a But sadly, he is beyond my abil- coming a beer advisor, please personal hunger strike in hopes ity to help him. His fate rests in call extension BEER, and ask of luring Joe Gibbs back to the the hands ofa higher authority for program secretary Mickey head coaching position of his than me," "BigMouth" Jones. idolized team. Refusing to divulge his name, he is known as "E" to his friends, and he has not left his Garden of Eden Apartment room since that fateful day when Joe Gibbs announced his retirement from the head coach- ing position of the Washington Redskins. "I've never seen him this bad," remarks AI Peon, E's roommate. "I mean, I' ve known E for four years. and r ve seen him through the good and the bad. I mean, a year ago.he's running through the D.C. metro yelling "Three rings! Three