Page 113 - ThePhoenix1992-93

The People Who Brought You The Phoenix Now Give You. THE BIRD Volume XXX, Number 69 Westminster Post Secondary School April 1, 1993 Bush to Donate Millions for Title "President" By Phillipc Rosencrantz sweeping changes. He will also religious studies, and the new students have more money to ing to Bush. Eagle Reporter fill the position of president. English department will be run spend on books, and what this Also, as Frank Perdue was Unemployed politician and "I jus I mtss rhc une-c-prest- by Dan Quayle. school needs is a greater circu- intending to do, George Bush is oil tycoon, George Bush, is of- dent," George was heard saying Along with these changes, Iation of funds within the cam- going to change the name. fcring $ 500 million to after making the offer to the there will be a complete restruc- pus." Westminster Post-Sccondary Westminster Post-Secondary Board of Trustees on February turing of the school's budget. Another major point made School will soon be known as School in exchange for a name 30. "There will be no new by Bush's financial plan is to Bush Republican Post-Second- change. Along with becoming presi- charges," Bush exclaimed when greatly increase the budget of ary School. His new slogan is This ofITer has eclipsed Mr. dent, Bush has proposed new asked ifhe was planning to raise the School Security (or S.S. as "Head for the hill, head for Bush Perdue's offer. As reported in faculty members to take depart- tuition. His plan, in fact, is to Bush calls it). School." The Bini, Frank Perdue was of- ment head positions. Ronald lower the overall tuition for "We need attack dogs, metal Bush polled students and fering to donate over $10 mil- Reagan will be WPSS's new those students who do not re- detectors, hand guns, and patriot found that he has great support lion to WPSS in return for a theater department head and ccive financial aid. missiles to protect our flne for his programs. The Bird con- name change. Howard Baker will be in charge Bush also plans to reduce the school from communist infiltra- ducted a poll that had conflict- Bush's $ 500 million will of world politics. Jimmy amount spent on scholarships tion led by Saddam Hussein and cover all debts and finance Swaggart will be in charge of and grants. He says that "richer his fierce Iraqi forces," accord- See Bush Page 3 WPSS to Test Beer Advisor Program for '93-'94 By BUDWEISER value, point out which bars and liquor men are going to drink no matter what WPSS. "So many don't even know SIiJfWriur stores serve minors easily or take fake we do," said Dean of Students Bill Lis- proper beer etiquette," Adams said. ID's, and help procure fake ID'~ for their tener. "This way, the upperclassmen can 'They leave half-empty beers every- Residence Life Staff at Westminster advisces. Post-Secondary School recently an- "Incoming freshman are filled with a at least help them drink smart. By gutd- where, andjust spill and throw beer any- where. This is the worst kind of alcohol tng underage students to the right beers nounced that a "Beer Advisor" program wide range of emotions and anxieties:' and the right places, we're helping to in- abuse, and we want to help end it on this will be tested for the 1993-94 school said WPSS Housing Director Roxanne sure that if rbese kids are going to get campus." year involving members of the senior Silverland. "What better way to help messed up, their going to get messed up Some Beer Advisors have already class and incoming freshman. them numb their fears and lose their inhi- good. Nothing could be more embar- been found for next year, but Residence Beer Advisors will he volurnccr bitions about college life than helping accepting busted applications, in Arousal members of the senior class that will them develop good drinking habits?" rassing than getting in a case of Old Ger- Life is currently are going to be sent our Hall for sneaking and application take incoming freshmen under their Though the legal drinking age in Mary- man." within the next week. "'We have ac- wing, and guide them through the vari- land is 21, and WPSS has strict drinking Beer Advisors will also be expected cessed all the disciplinary Hies of the ous alcoholic rituals of college life. rules, the Beer Advisor program is ex- to teach freshmen how to evade RA's entire junior class, and we're sending Beyond advising what beers are best, pected to help freshmen get past these ob- these "big brew brothers" will help stacles with less stress than in previous and WPSS Police, how to play various applications to any students that have had a good many busts over the years, or collegiate beer games, how to properly guide students to the products that pro- years. chug, and a variety of techniques foref- who we have identified as heavy drink- vide the biggest wallop for the most "Let's nor fool ourselves, these fresh- Iective and easy puking. ers," said Silverland. "We feel they can When asked about the new program, New Lease on Life? senior Nat Boh said, "I wish they would do the best job," sbc concluded. been Mick Lobe has already Junior I was have had that when we carne in. so clueless, I didn't even know how to chosen as a Beer Advisor, and is looking forward 10 being a pioneering guide to Alumni Takes Advantage of Repeat Course Policy funnel a beer:' his advisee. "1 would've given anything Junior Sam Adams, who has been to find someone over 21 to buy me beer named the coordinator for the Beer Ad- when I was a freshman," he said. "J feel theferu-SOtne:jobmarket. Unfortunately, his tni:Sty degree did 001 save him from good knowing that I'll be able to provide the mUe· long unemployment !Joes. Sevellty:":five year old Elmer WIlen be was not col1ecting unemplQY" Fuddsickle bas returned to WPS$ to ment,Mt~Fuddstckle drifte:d'from·odd take advan1a,gt:Qf!be new policy on the jobs 10 odder jobs, grading of repeated COUJ'!;eS. Now, flftyyear.!! . later; . Elmer Mr. Futidsickte plan$Qnre~iog FuddsiCk.le. believes be can gain a new tbe(:oUege AlgebtaattdTrl8\)nQmettY tease en life. He-is.now able IOitmltQve OOu~ w~icbdfmQliSbed bill grade hisOPA by:retaking tbeCoJIege Algebra poimaverage over fifty years ago. He and Ttig,onomeu-y . course wbkb hQpt~ !bat he wiU);~ abletQieplar.;e the sabalO!ed his· carefully planned carter '0' be o~ly earned witb a higber goals; gnl(1.C,. Mr. Fl1(,lds!ck1e PQin~ out ihat Once he improves hi$ OPA. Mr. ahigbergffide woo.ldimprove bls ~uddsiCkr~ Pla~on attending g,taduafC OPA, &:Id rnakebim eligible fOf de- schOOl. A$ for his neweareer. Mr. partmental hOtlOts in his Histoty .major. Fuddskkle wantS to be a Deaoof O1ades Wben asked wby.he was ,going-tow and Stuff sO that be can "-give()tIier stu"'- IDtlcblroubletocnange a grade. Mr. deuu.ttleopportUi"lllY to improve tbei, FtitkI$ickJeenpbaticaJly. replied ibat grade!l before it iiHOQ lare)' "g:mdes. are. mote iru.portam than any~ thmgi1&e:' &ee~Jained thatb¢C3 lJse bi$OPA wHsnothighenougll hewlt$ denied Ule opportunity (0 attend graduatellchooJ, Armedsolely Wilh~ libcralarn;dejtree, Mt, Fuddslckte had t()for e ahead into