Page 64 - ThePhoenix1984-85
P. 64
Page 8IWeotem .Maryland ColiegelDecember 6, 1984 Super girl crash lands FAN'S CHINESE' RESTAURANT Szechun .. ~.: ' .. ~ Westminster. ~ 59 W, Main Sf. in maiden movie fl ight PaIynestan - . 84&0919 American .' 87&3166 by Jonathan Slade the vi'lianess of the picture, The special effects techni- for she finds that her newly .CocktalI seMce QuIcIiay Lunch & Carry Out', acquired trinket is an energy cians, much to our disap- 11 AM-10 PM Slm-lhurs 11 AM-11 PM FrhSat . Alexander Salkind and his source through which she can pointment, follow in this same screenwriters seem to have CateriI1g for Banquets, Parties,. lion! .d'08IM88 an affinity for alliteration. First, focus her "pure, unadultered vein of artistic apathy. When Supergirl travels from Argo to ._----- '::==================; they gave us Clark Kent, Lois evil." viewers a(e far from tantalized Earth through the vortex, Another point of concern for Lana Now in Long. Supergirl f!'I' Lane, and _their fourth esca- fans of the Superman movie by what they see. Most of OVERSEAS EMPLOYMENT pade into the world of comic series is Supergirf's violation these blurs of color, in fact, are less breathtaking than the book crime busters, audi- WORLD-SIDE OPPORTUNITIES FOR MEN AND WOMEN! ences are offered Lucy Lane of the Phantom Zone's by- average episode of The Un- laws. In Superman II when JAPAN - EUROPE - AFRICA - AUSTRALIA - THE SOUTH and, of course the heroine, General Zod and his cohorts dersea World of Jaques PACIFIC-SOUTHAMERICA_THE FAR EAST_ I. lovely little Linda Lee. were banished to this harsh Cousteau. And later, in a EXCELLENT BENEFITS. HIGHER SALARIES AND WAGES!' But this apparent fixation on environment of eternal punish- sequence where .our heroine FREE TRANSPORTATION! GENEROUS VACATIONS! ~ single phoneme, especially ment, viewers were told leaps through a window while More than 300,000Americans Japan, Africa, The South that of the letter L, is the least "there is no escape." Well, changing into her costume, - not including members of Pacific, The Far East, South of .this productions problems. when Supergirl is exhlled here the special effect borders do the armed services - are' America ...nearly every part It is, indeed, just a petty at Selena's homocidal whim, not match. Furthermore, in the now living overseas. These ofthe free world! nuisance inherent in the su- movie's climactic (?) battle, people are engaged in nearly (3). Companies and perhero/superheroine genre. movements of Selena's everypossible activi- Government agencies' The other annoyances of this shadow-beast are sufficiently' ty...construction, engineer- employing personnel in near- ' Tri-Star Pictures release, obscured by mist and poor ing, sales, transportation, Iy every occupation, from though, are so glaring that it camera focus in a weak at- secretarial work, accoun- the unskilled laborer to the is much harder to forgive tempt to mask the erratic ting, manufacturing, oil college trained protesstonal Salklnd for them. Try as they motion of the monster model. refining, teaching, nursing, man or woman. might, viewers cannot over- These shoddy optical illusions government, etc-etc. And (4). Firms and organtaa- look plot inconsistencies, surely sign Supergirf's death many are earning $2,000 to lions engaged in foreign con- carelessly constructed special certificate, which was proba- $5,000 per month ...or more! struction projects, manufac- effects, and 'the utter waste of bly drawn up durinq- the film's To allow you the op- turing, mining, oil refining, i acting talent. uninspired scripting sessions. , ~::::e~~ty e~~lo;~~~~, f;~ engineering, sales, services, I the The story seems, solid on But the saddest part of this surface. A young girl have researched and compn- te~~~.i~~!tc~~~t~here to ap- I (Helen Slater) from the nether- whole production is the amount of acting ability that is ed a new and exciting dtrec- ply for overseas Government dimension district of Argo needlessly wasted. Faye Dun- tory on overseas emptoy- jobs. City, where refugees from the ment. Here is just a sample (6). Information about destroyed world of Krypton Peter O'Toole, who stars as away is a top-notch member of what our IDternaUoDal summer jobs. dwell, accidently loses her Zaltar, knows of a way out. of her profession, and Mia Employment Director), (7). You will receive our colony's egg-shaped power And, after another swirling Farrow, who plays Alura, and covers. Employment Opportunity source while play-sculpting onslaught of special effects, Peter Cook, who appears as Nigel, are not far behind her (1). Our latera. tiona} Digest...jam-packed with in- with it. Feeling responsible for she has !Lm~rged from this Employment Direc:tory lists formation about current job the inevitable doom that she inescapable armpit of a place in potential. Dunaway, how- ever, is forced to recite the dozens of cruise ship com- opportunities. Spectal sec- has brought upon her new to save Earth. If it is so easy, panies, both on 'the east and tions features news of homeland, she flees into a though, why don't we have all most boring dialog since Plan west coast. You will be told overseas construction pro- vortex in pursuit of the runa- of Krypton's criminals slipping Nine from Outerspace, and what type of positions the jects, executive positions way egg, with the intention of out this little hole in the prison Farrow exists solely to add cruise ship companies hire, and teaching opportunities. returning it to its proper place wall and traipsing around our some sort of comic relief to the picture. (Unfortunately, the :~sCt:uraa~t d ~~I~, h:ono~~: B:-e~Wu:r~-:'~~e before everyone in the colony solar system? one who wrote her lines prob- perishes. Her destination, of bartenders, just to name a Our Ia.ternltioaal Emplo),- ' course, is Earth, where she, in Perhaps the most blatant ably spells relief R-O-L-A-I-D- few. You will also receive ment Directory Is.sent to you tum, becomes Supergirl. plot inconsistency, however, S.) Even Jimmy Olsen (Marc several Employment Ap- with this guarantee. If for At this point, only Ii few is Supergirf's ignorance of its McClure) appears less at plication Forms that you any reason you do not obtain minutes into the film, the plot own ultimatum. "If the omega ease here than he did in his may send directly to the overseas employment or you begins to show evidence of hedron is not returned, our three Superman stints. Only companies you would like to are not satisfied with the job fragility. The egg, which looks lights will dim and we will Peter O'Toole has a role that work for. offers ...simply return our suspiciously like a spinning, suffocate within a few days," he can play to the hilt, but his (2). Firms and organiza- Dl.reetory within 90 days and glowing Easter decoration, an angry Argo City resident screen time is all of fifteen lions employing all types of we'll refund your money pro- ifalls from the sky onto our says at the beginning of the minutes. personnel in Austra lia, mptlY...no questions asked. humble planet. Supergirl, movie. The heroine, though Admittedly, though, Helen however, emerges from a appears to have forgotten this Slater is a bright spot in the nearby pond, even though as she takes the time on film. Her radiant beauty as ORDER FORM both power source and fe- International Employment Directory male traveled through the Earth to enroll in a private Supergirf, and her naivete as girl's school under the name 131 Elma Dr. Dept. T21 same inter-dimensional pas- of Linda Lee, play field Linda Lee, are a welcome break in the inanity. It is Centralia, WA98531 sage. And, wouldn't you know hockey, and fall in love. All indeed a shame that the pro- it, she even rises out of the the while, the audience won- ducers hinged so much of the Please send me a copy of your Ia.ternatioaal Employment water wearing the famed blue ders how many days have movie on her stunning physi- DIreetorJ. I understand that I may use this information for 90 and red costume. (No, such passed in Argo and how cal appearance, and so little days and if I am not satisfied with the results, I may return an outfit is not the standard your Directory for an immediate refund. On that basis I'm Argo City issue uniform. And many have died from lack of on a coherent plot. Thus, we oxygen (?). Preoccupation, of leave the theater truly hurt enclosing $20.00 cash.... check.... or money order .... for your it boggles the mind how she inside, for we wanted more DlrecIorJ, chanqeo into her new clothes course, is unnecessary, for than anything to enjoy this the film's finale leads us to while being sucked through believe that everyone ends up feature. NAME. ~ ••~..~.,~'''_,--------------- the vortex.) living happily ever after. So, what's the lowdown on The egg, however, which is the likelihood of luscious ADDRESS _APH __ technically called the omega Indeed, David Odell's Linda Lee having another h~~C!I! is whisked away from screenplay does not offer too lapse into leotard lunacy a the scene before Supergirl much of the old truth, justice, little later? CITY TATE ZIP can recover it. Its new owner, and American way bit, but Well, let's just hope Alexan- International Employment Directory i984 a second-rate black magic there are ample servings of der Salkind, his .screenwriters, cute comedy and teenage and Tri-Star Pictures can Selena I~========:;:========:iJ aficionado named becomes infatuation.. leave L enough alone. ~ ~(Faye Dunaway),