Page 123 - ThePhoenix1984-85

April 25, 1985IWestern Maryland CollegelPage 7 Abusive relationships often accepted as part of 'love' continuedfrom page 1 that Ann had as many male crisis intervention unit in Or- sheltered homes and had en- to go," and "I was scared." friends as she did female ange County, California, tered marriage at a young Some women believed that that he had to stop hurting ones, One night Ann and Tom found that there were both age. Of the younger victims they have little alternative ex- her; and that if he didn't she got into an argument, and to one-time cases and chronic there seems to be an incredi- cept to act as a punching didn 't want to see him any- prove his point Tom hit Ann in cases. Chronic situations ble need for love, a low self- bag. for their partners, and more. BiI! "Was totally out- the face and told her that she ended in death. esteem, and an incredible most tolerated the pain not for raged, and proceeded to would do what he wanted her fear of rejection and loneli- love. but out of a dependency scream and yefJ at Jane to do. The next day Ann went Wellins also found several ness. Women of college' age, on the person who was beat- about her "stupid ideas" and to class with sunglasses on common characteristics in in some cases, feel that the ing them. However, not all her "stupid friends" and she didn't say much to most of the chronic abuse only way to be loved is to cases of physical abuse have anyone. Throughout the entire cases. The abuser had low accept the circumstances of to end in a tragic manner. Jane tried to leave the room semester Ann has come to self-esteem, severe stress re- an abusive relationship. One Ann (who we spoke of ear- but Bill wouldn't let her. Bill class about ten times with action, presented a dual per- hypothesis suggests that the lier) had a very good friend then tried to slap her, but this those' same sunglasses on sonality and blamed others smaller the victim was in named Tony, to whom she time Jane fought back. Bill and now she hardly talks to for his actions. He was also a comparison to the attacker, had stopped talking. Tony still was so enraged that he pro- anyone at all. Yesterday, person who believed in the the harder it would be to fight considered Ann a friend and ceeded to beat Jane into when Ann came to class she myths which blamed the back or stop the attacks. This, he went to talk to her about unconsciousness. Bill has had her arm in a sling, but women for causing the violent though. was not always true her engagement. Tony ex-' since been arrested and Jane that didn't stop her from outbreaks. The abuser also because women who were plained to Ann why he still fies in a coma. showing off her new engage- adhered to the idea ot male heavier than their husbands thought that she should think ment ring. supremacy and honestly be- reported being attacked or twice about marrying Tom. Another woman, Ann. is a lieved that his actions could threatened with weapons Tony told Ann that he didn't 19 year old sophomore and a The faces are different; but never have negative conse- The question still remains - think that she should marry biology major. She is 5'5" and the stories are all the same. quences. This person was Why did these women stay Tom because he would only has blonde hair and blue Women are being physically also pathologically jealous with their husbands and lov- continue to hurt her. Ann eyes. She used to be very abused in so-called "love re- and used sex as' an act of ers if they were continuously didn t want to listen, but she enthusiastic about college lationships." The statistics are aggression. being hurt'? The Pagelow did, finally realizing that Tom's and her life, and was always staggering. Ms. Mildred Daley If these men had psycho- study cited some of the rea- love was not the kind she making friends. Ann didn't Pagelow, a research sociolo- logical and sociological prob- sons why women stayed. wanted or needed. Ann con- have a boyfriend on campus gist, conducted a survey at lems did the women that they These women usually had- fronted Tom with what she during freshman year but she 349 women of which 80.5 per were hitting have the same few, undesirable, or no alter- was feeling and gave him his met Tom this year and they cent reported being battered problems? Not always. But in natives but to stay. Among ring back. Tom tried to start started dating each other ex- by their husbands or ex- some cases there were simi- the statements made by the an argument but this time Ann clusively Things ran smoothly husbands. - Eighteen per larities 'in the backgrounds of women were, "I loved him left before he could start the for the first few weeks, but cent of these women were the women. Wellins found that and felt that- I could help arguing or the hitting. Ann is Tom soon became very pos- battered by lovers or ex- for most of the women it was him," "I didn't want to be now much happier and sessive and began to de- lovers and one per cent were hard to change lifestyles after lonely," "The children should spends a lot of her spare time mand more of Ann's attention battered by some other male thirty especially if they had no have their father around," "I making up for the time that family member. Mr. Michael career of their own .• The was afraid that he would kill she lost with her real friends, Tom did not like the fact Wellins, an employee of a women usually came from me if I left," "I had no place like Tony THE EARLY .:~ BIRD... _L~ PREPARE FOR MeAT· LSAT· GMAT SAT·OAT·GRE 'two years of college left, If you have at least you can spend six weeks at Join our "Early Bird" and our Anny ROTC Basic Summer Classes In Preparation Camp this summer and earn for Your Fall 1985 Exams approximately $600, • Permanent Centers open days, evenings and can ~~~rifrh~R6T~~YOU weekendS • Low hourly cost. Dedicated full-time staff. 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