Page 8 - TheGoldBug1933-34

l'AGli: TWO The Gold Bug, Western Maryland College, Westminster, Md. COL Thoughts and "Hazelnut" VARIETY BOOKS, PLAYS, AND LIFE at Random A REVIEW OF By "Hazel" fe, fi, fo, fum, we smel the blud 01' WORLD PANORAMA 1918-1933I the largest in years-real prosperity was anuthur Gold Bug .... our reporters hal' By imminent, and gentlemen began to prefer Official student newspaper of Western Maryland College, published on Thursday got us sum durt, so hear gozes: .... GEORGE SELDES blondes. Looking towards what new during the academic year by the students of Western Maryland College, Westminster, we hav an absent-minded english pro- world' Maryland. Entered as second-class matter at the Westminster Postoffice. fesor on the hil ; he furgot wear he left Little, Brown, Boston (381 pgs). June "The Age of Reason" Seems to be SUBSCRIPTION PRICE $1.00 A YEAR hiz kar, and thot thet sumone stole it on 1933-$3 George Seldes' answer, as with engaging him .... "S. Finger Wade" haz gone omniscience he sails into the complicated EDITORIAL STAFF dry-he lost hiz "Wine" .... Boy! wat a years of 1925 to 1929, which formed an Editor-in·Ohief .......................•................... F. P. MITCHELL, '34 job it iz tu buy sekond-hand buks around In a style that gathers momentum ap- interval of political displacements, war Associate Editor ESTHER V. RIGHTER, '34 this place .... propriate to the time which it depicts, debt agitation, and the gilded surface of News Editors DOROTHY M. PAUL, '34, CARLTON BRINSFIELD, '35 the colluje sh ud feal proud thet there George Seldes presents the panorama of American prosperity. In England, Ram- Oopy Editors FRANCES ELDERDICE, '3'5, C. L. WHITTINGTON, '34 iz a paramount nuze fotografer on the the world as he, intimate with world Sports Editors MARTHA HARRISON, '34, EUGENE WILLIS, '34 progress during the fifteen years that sey MacDonald kissed the King's hand hil-" T. K. Harrison" just luks tu kute and announced the first Labor Govern- MAKE-UP STAFF with thoze britches, my, my, .... funny have followed the World War, has seen ment of Great Britain. In Germany Hin- Managing Editors ANTHONY DIKSA, '34, LORA M. OUTTEN, '34 wat two munths vakashon wil do-lots ov it. During the war Seldes was the cor- denburg got himself elected president. In Assistant Managing Editor ; HERBERT STEVENS, '36 peeple 'broke off' during the summer- respondent for the "Chicago Tribune" Stenographer .............•.............................. FRANCES GLYNN, '35 ill France, Germany, Italy and Syria. In China they had a war. And all through dunt yer know thet you shud wate until Europe there was a growing antagonism BUSINESS STAFF kristmus ~.... his position he is well prepared to present towards the United States. A distinct Business Manager R. L. CAIRNES, '34 famus expreshons fur this yere No. 1- a new slant on news already known, and anti-American sentiment was apparent. Advertising Manager KALE MATHIAS, '35 'wen you pass out-fall out in the isle '- also new material that has hitherto either A8sistan.t Advertising Manager EDWARD BEAUCHAMP "Miller" ... .no mattur wat anybody sez escaped the notice of the not-so-acute re- , 'America was supreme among nations. Oiroulation Manager CARL EVERLY, '34 porter, or has been purposely left un- The world was our oyster. The oyster was about hour gurls with regards tu the new furious." Losses began to occur in Wall Assistant Circulation Managers touched. From the upsets and vicissi- OLIVE MAY BUTLER, '35 ARTHUR J. DOWNEY, '3'4 amendment, we ar willing tu admit, thet tudes of the years 1918-1933 he has Street. They increased from two to five THOMAS EVELAND, '36 EDWARD GAULT, '36 we have a group thet iz far above the av- caught human incidents that do far more billion, were made up and lost again. M. R. STEVENS, '35 SIMEON MARKLINE, '36 erage 01' any skool .... And so America plunged over the golden ZELMA CALVERT "Kale Mathias" haz got a nue ford- to tell an accurate story than any cata- falls in a very flimsy barrel, into the logue of facts and statistics. REPORTERS thet's hiz story; but, ya dunt nead a kar snarling depths of Seldes' , 'Terrible Kathlyn Mellor, '34; Louise Needy, '5'4; Muriel Day, '34; Edith Forney, '35; Orpha these dazes tu go places .... by the way, SeIdes divides his book into four dis- Thirties. " Pritchard, '34; Dorothy Wicks, '36. the hil iz goin' socialistiek ; we hav hour tinct parts, drawing neat lines between Here our author tells us how the return Pat Mahoney, '34; Clarence Bussard, '34; James Bopst, '35; Brady Bryson, '35; own clothing establishments, kleaning an' one chaotic era and the next. "A World of prosperity (which is just around the Reynolds Simpson, '36; J. W. Nichols, '35; Robert Brooks, '36; Dexter Beane, dieing, confectionery store n ' post of- Well Lost", dealing with the years 1918- corner) has been delayed from one month '34. 1922, presents a picture of diplomatic fice; all we nead iz sum incentive tu make to another until it has become a joke; us patronize them .... "Mahitable", the discourse, political palaver, and human how Mussolini's unbalanced budget, and Worthy opinion; Model management; Correct news. kat, wuz sean wandering around "Helen suffering that is revealing and impressive. everything, except the last Japanese Jacobson's" rume agen, wat doze this Many angles of the WorIa War are earthquake, was blamed on the Wall mean, anuther blessed event'? ... shown, all terminating in cries of "Nie Street Orash ; and how this economic tor- D I T o R I A L now watcha 'think s the freshmen gurls Wieder Krieg! ", Jamais plus de nado has rushed nations off their gold haz got brite red gim panties; you cer- guerre! ", which created a hope of world standards, kings off their thrones, and tainly nead sumthing too make you luk peace. presidents from their unstable swivel Count The expression is often made-If you are angry with a per- lively-why not wake us fur a change'? This hope is shown in the second divi- chairs. to ten son, be sure to count to ten before you do anything rash. .... "Bruce Ferguson" haz a nasty hab- sion of the book to be only an illusion Foreign opinion is blatant, and Ameri- This same idea may be carried over to many different fields. it 01' throwing things at peeple, shame on grown out of a reaction brought about by ca is running the gantlet. Seldes shows Of course, in the beginning, the saying is not to be taken literally, as it you fur two minutes .... pretty sune if fear, honor, and disgust, soon to be for- us great leaders in other countries: means merely to think over a thing before plunging into it headlong. hour orkestra 'n kwire gets much largur, gotten in international jealousy, and in- Mustapha Kemal, civilizing the Turks there wont be no congrugation fur the ter-factional rivalry. "Towards A New In our work at college, especially in the matter of studying, it preachur tu talk tu .... " John McNally" and making them like it; Gandhi, doing opens a discussion seems that often we should count ten. How often do we go down to haz bin voted the most innocent luking World" to 1925, in which there of the years nrore for his country by passive resist- was a suc- 1922 the movies instead of studying! Other outside activities also claim persun in the senyer klass by the fresh- cession of dictatorships and wars, mili- ance than any dictator in Europe; Mus- our attention, and before we know it, we are up to our necks in work men gurls (with appologies tu "Mr. Out- solinin; Hitler-. Back in America we politics, that were to like these: find headlines simply because of a few hasty decisions. ten ") taristic, the world and moral, democracy." pected to continue Wilson's "Roosevelt ex- "make for safe leadership of In the selection of courses, we should take the ones whichare the most thoze freshmen are a bunch ov sissies; In Russia there was Bolshevism, Trotsky American Liberalism"; "Europe turns beneficial to us 'and will help us in the work that we have chosen to crying on-account-ov rat rules-if this and mass terror; in Italy, Facism; in to Roosevelt in 1933 as it did to Wilson undertake after we leave the comforting portals of a school. Luckily, keaps up, this hil ought tu be kalled a Germany Hitler's beer hall debut: "Five in 1918", which leads Mr. Seldes to ..-----~rrestern Maryland College, we are more than fortunate in having kountry day skool+-wat we nead iz sum years ago the revolution started, tonight state, "If ever a man had' a chance to very competent advisors who are of great assistance in our selections. klass rivalry: tug 0 wars, shirt rushes, it is ended. A new goveTnment is taking lead a world as well as a nation, that man necktie days and sum eyents fur us gUl'ls power! " Beery Bavaria roared. In civ- is Franklin Delano Roosevelt." Hasty decisions often lead to mistakes that normally we could J ave avoided-mistakes that surely lead to a lot of unnecessary grief. tu instil within us sum klass spirit and ilized America we find bobbed hair, negro , 'In the fifteen years since the signing 1 give the hil sum tradition .... We need only to put a little concentrated thought on the subject, and jazz bands, the Ku Klux Klan, the Anti- of the Armistice on all fronts, military, we are spared all that. "Frank Carlin McIlveen" haz a gurl Saloon League, and Ring Lardner. Di- economic, spiritual, there was not a day in Taneytown 'n Ile sez thet he haz hur vorce (P. H. Joyce) and murder (Leo- of peace. The panorama changed; the Before we judge persons by just a casual meeting, it is essentially sowed up .... now, "Lizzie Stumpf" haz pold-Loeb) took the front news in the world moved on-no one could predict n"cessary to take stock of all we know about the person from that a Ballyhoo jacket .... remembur deer chil- newspapers. The stock market sales were whither.' , r>asualmeeting, and then to form our opinions of the character of the dren leeve befur the gong sounds so thet 'lerson. Immediately we find that we do not know the fellow well you ken get tu chapel on time .... just nough, and that we must become better acquainted with him before think us gurls kan only go out one nite a e understand' what his personality and makeup really are. weak-it wuz such a great releaf thet we Looking At Other Campuses Therefore, count up to ten, H'1d before we know it, our entire had tu play tag on Main streat .... viewpoint on any subject will be found to be entirely different. dunt ya think thet it iz gettin' pretty bad wen teacher's wives hav tu keap the At Ashland College editorials have profs straight L ... "Bill Shepherd" iz been abolished from the college paper be- pledge day, lastllig fi-om midnight one 4 :00, P. M. the following morning until getting caught up with "D. K. Moore" cause the belief seemed to hold sway that day. No fraternity man is allowed to TO PROSPECTIVE REPORTERS -" Hauch" ought tu feael pretty im- the edit01' 's ideas are no better than any- cOlllJ1lunicate with a freshman during this portant ,hey "Giz" it iz almost four one else's and do not represent the poli- o'clock . period. On the morning ·of pledge day cies of the paper. each freshman who is to receive a bid is All students who wish to become reporters on THE GOLD BUG "Hazelnut" haz bin thinking thet given a card. Recipients of such cards re- staff for the coming year are requested to fill out the following ques- even with the repeal 01' the amendment In ·order that the professor may know port to the Dean's office where they re- tionnaire. Freshmen and others are all invited to reply. Just fill in we wil have a fine bunch ov gurls on the whose work he is grading students at ceive their bid. the blanks, write the article as directed, and drop both article and hil regardless ov wat anybody sez .... we Northwestern University are required to questionnaire in the contributors' box under the porch of the main compiled a list 01' strutters; it iz by no hand in their pictures with their themes. In the Y ellow Jacket Weekly we find building. Selection of applicants is not pre-determined by the number means compleat-hear gozes:- these wOTds: "Now Randolph-Macon of- desired from their respective classes. , 'Olsh-Carter" , , Nichols-Hudson' , The pTofessors of Washington Univer- fers to a young man three wonderful op- "Kesmodel-Shipley' , sity say: "It is the band of "C" stu- portunities to become a well-rounded Name . "Bryson-Tollinger' , dents who move the world' '. And," A" man; she offers her scholastic curriculum "Beech amp-Carey , , students are freaks". They claim that for mental development, athletics for Were you connected with the school paper in high school? . , '~IooTe- Hauch' , students ,,,ho aim for "A" grades are physical development, and the Church for "Wimpie Lipsky" wuz all snllles; barren of personality. spiritual development, but to a generation If so, in what capacity 1 . "Ida Duphorn" came back tu sea hur which has chosen dancing as its form of , , Joe" sez he-nertz .... ' 'Red Commer- social recTeation, she merely says-' 'We Do you expect to take journalism at iWestern Maryland? . ford" furgot about hiz leg while" Queen "It is estimated that the students at think you should not dance under sanc- Helen" wuz hear .... "Bob Holder" haz Washington and Lee spend almost as tion of the college. You think you should Write an article, in your idea of the best journalistic style, using bin canvassing the freshmen dorm luking much of their money on entertainment as be allowed to'dance under sanction of the the list of information given below. Items are not listed in the order fur a date, but up til now he haz not met they do on their schooling.' '-The Red college. Think and let think, for mere of importance, so evaluate each carefully before star'ting. Be sure to with any sucsess .... and Black. thought cannot hurt'the whip hand!' " incorporate all the facts in your article. Do not supply any facts from now listen if you git any dirt about your imagination. Limit yourself to 200 words. somebody else, or even ureself, rit it out By way of giving first impressions, the The dream of a students' N. R. A. Mrs. S. Rud'olph Sprague is the wife of the' president of the Mer- fully and hand it to "Frankie Mitchell" faculty of Muhlenberg Coliege presented Code has been published by Randolph- chants' National Bank. or put it in the post ofiz; adress it two comedies to the freshman class at the Macon, the chief points of which follow: "Hazel" 'n "Hazelnut" recepti{)n given to the incoming students. She was robbed in her room last Tuesday afternoon at 4 o'clock. the next time we promise you sum l. No student shall spend more than The theif took, among other things, a magnificent diamond brooch poetry, so be on the lukout fur it .. , . thirty (30) hours per week on any work abolished the John's St. toward which Mr. Sprague had given her as a wejding-present. heidy heir three year rule College has the eligibility being done for credit (30) hours a degree. regarding not more 2. Of the thirty The servant answered the bell and was met by a man who said he of men for Varsity teams. The statute than six (6) hours shall be spent on col- came to see the gas meter. He wore the cap of an inspector and car- was revoked in an effort to maintain a lege work during anyone day. ried a lighted lantern. . . Phone 359-J higher standard in the field of athletics, 3. No professor shall require that his and in the future freshmen The Sprague's home is on East Douglas Avenue. Frank T. Shaeffer may means that in the Varsity line-up of students put more than five (5) hours per be placed The thief threatened Mrs. Sprague with a revolver. all sports. week on his subject, including time taken lectures. for She fainted when he left. PLUMBING, HEATING 4. The minimum time for lectures shall Late that night, the thief was r,aught boarding a coal train. He AND OIL BURNER St. John's Collegian picked Western be fifteen (15) minutes. The ma.ximum wanted money to cover his wed'ding expenses. CONTRACTOR Maryland to beat St. Thomas! length shall be thirty (30) minutes. The theif said his name was Richard Robinson. He managed to 5. A uniform requirement of fifteen session (15) get $45,000worth Qf jewelry, including the brooch. 92 W. Main Street A new method of pledging has been the country hours the shall be set through of as number credits Mrs. Sprague told the police her story when she revived. The WESTMINSTER, MD. adopted by the fraternities at University necessary for a degree- diamonds were found in the thief's coat pocket. of Maryland. There is a forty-hour And much more to the same effect.