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it, you know, on the old lady's head! She starts screaming, and
the M-16 goes off, and it kills me. So, I'm laying down in this
hospital bed, dying. So I tell myself- Bob, you just better finish
dying so you can find all the answers up in heaven with the Big
Guy, and have no more problems. So I'm about to die when this
newspaper reporter comes in and asks me to tell my story. So I
point to the cabinet and he opens it up, and inside is this paper
with what you're reading now on it. So I die, and this reporter
publishes my life story all over the world, he becomes rich and
famous, and I'm still dead. So I know all the answers to all the
questions, and I'm getting to be really close friends with the Big
Guy, and frankly, that's all I have to say. What's that? You still
want to know what that thingy in the back of your throat is
called? Well, I'd like to tell you, but the Big Guy says it's a trade
secret, so we're not allowed to tell anyone until they're dead. ' .
Guess I'm pretty lucky, huh?

by Demetri Lambros

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